Like the BBC, here at Socko's Review, we like to educate and entertain. Today, we have a history lesson. As part of an irregular series, Socko's Review brings you the worst wrestling matches of all time. Today we have Hulk Hogan vesus the Ultimate Warrior, a match 8 years in the making, and boy did they disappoint. The phrase train-wreck gets banded around far too often these days, but if you were looking for a match to show wrestlers how not to do it, this would be it. To pick the worst moment is almost impossible, simply because there are so many. Was it when Hogan tried to throw a fireball in Warriors face, only to see the lit bit of cloth harmlessly fall to the ground? Was it the fact that you see about 3 moves and that most of the match was made up of Hogan and Warrior holding hands? Is it when Hogan says: "I'm killing you!" and Warrior responds: "You're killing me!"? What about when Hogan trips over the ref? Or perhaps it was the fact that this piece of shit would be Warrior's final match in WCW?
The feud began with Hogan bragging that nobody could beat him, looking like a bouncer outside of gay club, Hogan and his nWo buddies sell their fear as Warrior makes his WCW debut. Hogan offers Warrior a place in the nWo, Warrior refuses. At this point, Warrior's still got it on the mic and doesn't allow things like grammar or syntax to get in the way of their "epical battle" - whatever that is:
After months of head-fucking on Warrior's part, we have one of the lamest matches in the history of professional wrestling.
Even before the match, the warning signs were there. In a promo, we see Hogan and Bischoff in Hogan's dressing room with Hogan looking in the mirror, who is there? The Warrior! Spooky shit, Bischoff can't see him and there's no one else in the room, this is some freaky shit right there.
Pre-match:
The match begins, and from the start cracks begin to show. Petty taunts and dull moves go on for what seems like an eternity. There are some bits in the match where Hogan goes "haw haw haw", laughing like a badly dubbed kung-fu master.
Let's look at the fireball incident, which had me in stitches the first time I saw it. You have Hogan, bent over for almost a minute trying to light the thing. What does Warrior do, does he try and fight Hogan, maybe wrestle the lighter out of Hogan's hand? No, he waits; he stands there like a tool waiting to get a fireball thrown in his face. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that this sort of stuff is planned in advance. but as a performer, if things aren't going right, you improvise. You don't stand there going 'der, what now boss?' like some cartoon thicksicle.
The moves in this match are pretty lame. If you can imagine a match made up mainly with arm-bars, clotheslines, chokes and bad taunts then you're kind of on your way to understanding how bad this match is. Now, imagine if most of these moves were executed so badly that it was rare to see any of the moves actually connect.
There are so many weird moments in this match where Hogan and Warrior just seem to be jumping around and doing strange hulking up actions. Complete bullshit.
Then Hogan trips on the ref and then almost hits him with a few knee drops and Big Show enters and takes Warrior out. With some weird running around and rolling about on the canvas the match culminates with Horace (yes, Horace) Hogan and Bischoff coming to assist. Bischoff chokes the ref and Horace gets Warrior with the steel chair. Hogan pins for the win.
Part One:
Part Two:
Part Three:
Warrior shows his face for one last microphone wrestle on WCW Nitro. You wannder why WCW folded shortly after this?
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