That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, March 28th

RAW time, last one before Mania, this should be good :)

LET'S DO THIS

00:38 - Starting with Punk - nice :)
10:31 - Even a standard promo --> brawl is better in WWE
11:31 - Rock, Miz and Cena tonight :D
11:43 - EDGE AND MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTIAN
13:15 - That WWE All Stars game looks alright...kinda silly and over the top rather than deadly serious 'simulation' style
13:49 - Just to reiterate...EDGE AND MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTIAN
16:13 - Del Rio's entrance is genius...just trolling the fuck out of every single person in the arena
20:25 - What a DDT from Christian...fucking hell
22:12 - That was pretty good...awesome to see Edge & Christian again
23:32 - That plastic box is still fucking hilarious
27:25 - Lawler v Swagger...sounds...interesting
35:33 - Just saw Santino's finisher for the first time...ridiculous
38:57 - Taker v HHH faceoff time
42:18 - Shawn Michaels is here :)
50:41 - Holy shit, HHH's promo is fucking intense
58:33 - That was awesome...A FUCKING PROMO WAS AWESOME THAT'S MENTAL
59:33 - And they follow it up with Swagger v Lawler
01:06:10 - Vickie Guererro is terrible...I like how the crowd hates her more than any of the heels
01:06:57 - Ziggler v Sheamus
01:07:31 - Nope, Ziggler & Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan & I guess John Morrison
1:10:38 - Damn, Bryan just reversed a roll-up into a crossface...he's brilliant
01:11:47 - Decent match
01:19:38 - How pissed is Snooki
01:21:39 - ROCK TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
01:25:27 - How awesome would a Rock v Punk feud be
1:36:37 - Cena is on fucking fire tonight
1:38:24 - That was fucking awesome...Miz is coming out now, but the Cena/Rock faceoff was brilliant...Cena's pretty good when he's not trying to be funny

That was awesome, can't wait till Mania :)

Wrestlemania predictions

It’s Wrestlemania in less than a week, so it’s time for some predictions. The build-up for this year’s Wrestlemania has been great, and there are some quite decent looking matches on the card... there are others that are not so great... Let’s do this!

1 Edge (with Christian) (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Brodus Clay) Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
This has a lot of potential, I predict Del Rio will win, and I’m hoping it will be a clean win. At worst, this will be a decent match, though I worry that with the inclusion of Brodus Clay at ring-side, there will be some bullshit booking... or maybe not, I forget that this is WWE and not TNA, so I’m optimistic.


2 The Miz (c) vs. John Cena Singles match for the WWE Championship
Does anyone really give a shit about this match? I’ve written on this blog before that Miz is not a convincing champion. On last weeks Raw he said something along the lines of “I’m more imposing than Andre the Giant, I’m a better technical wrestler that Bret Hart, I’m a better athlete that Shawn Michaels...” etc. I’m pretty sure that the reaction they wanted from this promo wasn’t a universal “are you fuck”. If I were to book Miz as a champion, I would have have him say the opposite, that he’s not as good as any of these guys, but that he will keep hold of the title because he’s smart and will bend the rules to keep it. He could win by count-outs, getting himself DQed, etc. Granted he would lose the matches, but he would keep the title, which to him would be the most important thing. Over time, this will lead to fans really wanting to see a top babyface like Cena kick his ass and win the title. It’s an old school way of booking, but it would create a heel who is lamentable, and not just an after –thought. Should be a decent match though. Cena will win, and I am sure the Rock will raise his hand and Rock Bottom the Miz.

3 Triple H vs. The Undertaker No Holds Barred match
I can’t wait for this match, not because it will be a brilliant match (I’m sure it will be very good), but because it will hopefully mean the end of long boring promos from Triple H. Undertaker to win.

4 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger) Singles match with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin.
This is a classic Wrestlemania style match, and I can’t wait to see it. It’s not going to be the best wrestling match, but it’s going to be entertaining. There’s no way this can be as bad as the clusterfuck of a Bret Hart match last year, and the build up has been spectacular. Lawler to win, Cole to get a Stunner.

5 Randy Orton vs. CM Punk Singles match
This feud reminds me of TNA style feud, and I’m pretty sure that this match was meant to be CM Punk versus Cena. In basic terms, a heel wants to get revenge on a babyface who kicked him and his friends in the head, and had cost Punk his title. Unless this match ends with a double turn, I’m not sure who the fans are meant to cheer for. I will, of course, be cheering for Punk, though I predict a win for Orton... boo!

6 Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes Singles match
The build-up to this match has been the highlight of Smackdown. Though much of the feud has been lifted from the El Generico/Kevin Steen feud, it has still be great and Rhodes’ new persona is great. Let’s hope they keep it going and never go back to him being “dashing”... because that sells PPVs, right? Mysterio to win, and I’m pretty sure it will be a very good match.

7 Trish Stratus, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) (with Vickie Guerrero) 6-person mixed tag team match
Another classic Wrestlemania style match. I can’t wait to go and get a drink while this is on. I hope that most of the match will be Morrison and Ziggler going at it. I’m sure the match will end with Snooki getting Vicky G to tap out.

8 Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan Singles match for the United States Championship
This is the match I want to see. I can see Sheamus winning, but it will be an excellent match. I can’t wait!

9 Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Corre (Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater) 8-man Tag Team match
Who gives a shit? This will be awful. I’m pretty sure that Kane et al will win... and no one will care.

On the whole, this is a pretty damn good Wrestlemania card which is punctuated with some throwaway matches presumably to give you time to get your breath back between the decent matches.

TNA's title picture

I was having a read of Clown’s pretty detailed run-down of the TNA roster and realised that TNA’s problems might (partially) be attributed to its titles. The world heavyweight belt has very few contenders, the tag titles are floundering, the TV title’s position as a belt is unclear, and the X-division is pretty much non-existent.

Here’s a quick run-down of where the roster is currently at in terms of champion ship contenders.

World championship title picture
Sting
Mr Anderson
Rob Van Dam
Bubba Ray
AJ Styles

TV title picture
Abyss
Gunner
Rob Terry
Murphy

Tag Team picture:
Beer Money
Gunner and Murphy
Ink Inc

X division picture
Kaz
Robbie E
Generation Me


Not in title picture:
Amazing Red
Anarquia
Brian Kendrick
Brother Devon
Crimson
D'Angelo Dinero
Desmond Wolfe
Douglas Williams
Eric Young
Gunner
Hernandez
Jay Lethal
Jeff Jarrett
Kurt Angle
Magnus
Matt Hardy
Matt Morgan
Mick Foley
Okada
Orlando Jordan
Ric Flair
Robbie E
Samoa Joe
Scott Steiner
Tommy Dreamer
Daniels

As you can see, there are a hell of a lot of wrestlers who are either in pointless feuds and angles, are not being used, or are out on injury.

So what needs to be done? Firstly, the heavyweight championship needs to be made into something everyone on the roster seems to aspire to. The TV title should be in the same position that the Intercontinental title was in the early 90s, or the ECW TV title - i.e. a credible mid-card belt, which acts as a stepping stone to the world title. The X-division title should have the same position that the X division title had in about 2005-07, i.e. a great title for fast paced, high-risk, cruiserweight style. If was booking TNA, this is how the title contendership should probably look:

World heavyweight picture:
Sting
AJ Styles
Samoa Joe
Daniels
Kurt Angle
Desmond Wolfe
Douglas Williams
Mr Anderson
D'Angelo Dinero


TV title picture
Abyss
Matt Hardy
Magnus
Crimson
Eric Young
Orlando Jordan
Hernandez
Gunner

Tag team picture:
Beer Money
Team 3D
MCMG
Generation Me
Ink Inc
British Invasion
(TNA need more tag teams)


X-division:
Kaz
Brian Kendrick
Jay Lethal
Amazing Red
Okado
(plus bring in lots of young indie and international wrestlers)


Fire:
Rob Van Dam
Tommy Dreamer
Mick Foley
Robbie E
Scott Steiner
Rob Terry

Bring in:
El Generico
Kevin Steen
Homicde (reform LAX)
Paul London
Shelton Benjamin
Thumbtack Jack
Kenta Kobashi
Chuck Taylor
Austin Aeries


The other guys on the roster would have to work as undercard wrestlers, working their way up through a kind of ranking system similar to UFC where wins and losses actually appear to matter. A guy should not get a whole bunch of rematches after losing a number one contenders’ match. If you lose your spot, you go to the back of the queue. Keep feuds, but have them related to the titles... Joe should be fucking with Pope as part of a psychological game to get the title. Most of the feuds could work in exactly the same way, but if they added the title as a backdrop to a feud, it would be stronger because progression could be made towards some pay-off... a screwjob at a PPV is not a pay-off, by the way.

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT March 24th

My TV is still broken, but I bought Minecraft on a whim - damn, that game is addictive. Addictive enough to end my posting spree.

If this iMPACT is shit or boring, I'll probably end up playing it in windowed mode or something.

LET'S DO THIS

00:14 - Mr Anderson Autotune remix...fucking hell
01:28 - That was terrible...if you want to see someone remixing random shit well, check this guy out...he's an amateur, and he pisses all over TNA's professional effort
03:38 - Starting with an Anderson promo is such a terrible idea
05:00 - Still fucking whining about his rematch...for fuck's sake. He lost the belt to Jeff...Jeff is no longer the champion...IF ANDERSON GETS A REMATCH AGAINST JEFF IT WON'T BE FOR THE FUCKING BELT...IF ANDERSON FIGHTS STING, IT WON'T BE A FUCKING REMATCH
06:30 - Anderson talking to his old professor about shit nobody knows or cares about, who gives a fuck...I am watching this to see some wrestling, not bad comedy sketches
08:05 - Just when I thought that shit was over, Hogan's music plays. TN fucking A.
09:45 - Bischoff: "You're a bad comedian, your jokes suck" - Holy shit, I 100% agree with something Bischoff said...WTF
12:50 - Jesus, Anderson v RVD AGAIN...fucking hell
13:44 - FOR FUCKS SAKE, THEY WENT TO ADVERTS AND CAME BACK TO THE SAME SHITTY PROMO
15:41 - Here comes Sting...I hope he has an AK47 and ends this promo the right way
17:47 - AJ suffered 'a bruised spinal chord with some cervical damage' apparently
18:51 - Mickie v Tara...what the fuck, I might as well watch it...it's probably be another 30 mins or so until there's another match
22:57 - That was actually really good
23:13 - Madison...I hope they don't give her the mic
26:43 - JOE JOE JOE JOE
27:26 - Nope, just Okato...I'm sure Joe'll show up at some point though
29:28 - Okato is pretty good
29:54 - Okato's bleeding from the mouth...not sure why
32:06 - Joe came out but Pope ran away :( Pretty good match till the screwjob though
36:55 - I can't wait for Angle v Jeff in the cage...Angle is fucking awesome in a cage, Jeff's as good a punching bag as any
38:49 - Flair's promo...gonna challenge one of Fortune...not sure what he's challenging them to, but there we go
42:44 - Bubba: "Matt, I couldn't have said it better myself" Yes you could, Bubba.
44:44 - Brawling...every fucking week
46:12 - Abyss is back :D
46:39 - I really love Abyss' music
50:09 - Great, a Hernandez promo
53:44 - Morgan and Devon v Hernandez and Mex Pac in a street fight...what a fucking mess
57:14 - This has turned into some kind of weird Knockouts hypnotism promo
57:44 - That was awful...mediocre street fight which stopped halfway for storyline bollocks. TNA really hate wrestling
59:00 - Jesse :D and Shannon :/
59:20 - Steiner and Crimson...should be interesting, haven't seen much of Crimson
01:03:47 - A couple of weeks ago, Ink Inc were title contenders...tonight, they're jobbing to a debuting tag team in 4 minutes. Crimson is pretty good though
01:07:05 - Main event already? The show has gone pretty quick...and with over 15 minutes left, I'm predicting a screwjob/stupid ending.
01:09:54 - Oh yeah, Sting - I forgot he was in the match
1:12:04 - Anderson botched the Rolling Thunder...Taz is all like 'nice counter', but he clearly fucked up
1:14:17 - I don't usually like ref bumps, but that one was pretty special
1:18:30 - What a stupid main event
1:20:48 - Best RVD promo ever

I don't know what the fuck happened at the end but it was hilarious...so, so bad. Second week in a row where they didn't announce the winner of the main event. I'm pretty sure Bischoff is just trolling us now.

A couple of pretty good (but too short) matches tonight, first off the Knockouts match was really good, and the Steiner/Crimson tag match was very good as well. Also, Okato looked pretty impressive. On the downside, everything else was either boring, bad, or so bad I was laughing out loud at it.

Better than last week's. I'm getting strangely pumped for Angle v Jarrett, even though they did fuck all to promote it except for one of those stupid 'candid interview' promos they like to do now. I'm actually pretty optimistic about Lockdown, maybe unrealistically so.

That Clown from Outta Town - Raw March 23rd

Hopefully I'll get my telly working soon, I haven't played any PS3 in a week and I'm posting here like every day out of boredom...

Anyway, it's RAW time :)

0:35 - Cool, JR :) If you absolutely have to start with talking, this is the guy to do it
0:55 - Not so much JR, as Heel Cole...Cole is actually an awesome heel
2:42 - Starting with a HHH promo...I remember back in the day when they did that every single week. I'm looking forward to the Taker match, hopefully the feud will hot up a little - it's been all talk so far
14:31 - Pretty generic promo, followed by Ted DiBiase coming to ringside to get pedigreed through a table
15:49 - Cena to speak out about The Miz on satellite? Wasn't he slating The Rock for appearing on satellite like 2 weeks ago?
16:22 - Sheamus v Bourne...should be good, Bourne is great and Sheamus looked pretty good last week
18:20 - Bourne got dominated and beaten in less than 2 mins...almost as bad as a TNA match
19:05 - Here comes Bryan :)
20:05 - Bryan v Sheamus at Mania :)
20:38 - Rey Mysterio v Randy Orton tonight...could be pretty decent
23:07 - Divas, fast forwarding
30:35 - Santino and that Russian bloke v the old Nexus...not my first choice of match
32:54 - Another short match with nothing interesting happening :/
38:58 - Cena & Rock face to face next week...maybe that's why they've phoned in this one, they know everyone is going to watch anyway
40:55 - Cole has another surprise for Lawler - I don't know how he'll top last week's awesome dancing from Brian Christopher
48:39 - Fucking hell, this feud is intense...on paper this ought to be a dumb comedy angle, but Cole is fucking hardcore
53:50 - Dolph :)
54:38 - John Morrison :) If this is a proper match and not Morrison jobbing again, this should be pretty good
58:37 - It was going pretty well, but now it's a handicap match - Morrison & Stratus v Ziggler, Lay Cool, and Vicky Guererro :(
63:10 - Actually I take it back, that was really good - I haven't been watching the Divas because I thought they were a shit version of the Knockouts, but that was some pretty good wrestling from everyone (except Guererro, who fucked up the only move she did...)
71:58 - Orton v Rey - I'm expecting Punk to get involved, but could be a decent match if he doesn't/until he does
77:32 - That was pretty decent, then Punk came on the Titantron next to Orton's bus and said he was going to go an meet his wife...the heels in WWE are fucking sinister
79:14 - Most obvious trap in wrestling history...
87:10 - Miz is actually pretty good now
89:21 - Cena was only pretending to be at home, and was sitting in a mock-up backstage...Miz is about to get stomped

The show started pretty slowly, I could have skipped everything until Cole's segment without feeling cheated. The end of the show was really good. One more till Mania, Rock and Cena are going to face off, Taker and HHH are going to face off, I'm sure Cole will have another go at King...looking forward to it already :)

That Clown from Outta Town - The TNA Roster

Sting made a comment on iMPACT about there being '50 guys in the back' that wanted to wrestle. I was confused, because it seems like there's about a dozen...I thought I'd take a look at TNA's roster to see who's under contract but not getting any TV time. And my general thoughts on each wrestler.

I'm ignoring people like Don West and JB, because they're not wrestlers...I'm also ignoring Knockouts, because they're not guys.

1. Abyss

Abyss is 'injured' right now, so he's not actively wrestling. I like Abyss, they put him in some fucking stupid angles sometimes and I preferred him before he could talk, but overall he's someone I'm usually glad to see - he does need the right opponent to show his best stuff though.

2. AJ Styles

AJ's getting plenty of airtime right now, and rightly so. He changed his style at one point to be less high-risk, and I liked him less because of it, but he's now getting good at the new style and has been in some very good matches recently. I'm still not a huge fan of AJ on the mic though.

3. Alex Shelly

I haven't seen Shelly for a long time. As part of MCMG, Shelly is brilliant - I'm not sold on him as a solo wrestler though. Definitely deserves more airtime than he's getting.

4. Amazing Red

This guy really is amazing. He's one of TNA's most talented guys, and you never see him on TV any more which is a damn shame.

5. Brian Kendrick

I'd completely forgotten about this guy. I haven't seen any really great matches of his in TNA, and his gimmick is fucking horrible. He gets zero airtime, but there's plenty of people I'd put ahead of him in the queue.

6. Devon

I like Devon, but I like him more as part of 3D than as a singles wrestler. He's had plenty of airtime recently, although it's all been part of a single feud. Bubba's moved on to the Immortals storyline now, so I'm not sure what'll happen to Devon in coming weeks.

7. Bully Ray

Bubba is fucking awesome. While I still prefer 3D to Bubba as a solo wrestler, his skill on the mic is pretty much unequalled in TNA. I'm glad to see him take Jeff's spot...I'm not sure how long it'll last, but it'll be good while it does.

8. Chris Sabin

I really like Sabin. I probably like him equally as a solo wrestler or as part of MCMG. Hasn't been on iMPACT in months, like Shelly I'm not sure what's going on with him. I'd like to see more Sabin, even if it's without Shelly.

9. Crimson

I don't really know much about the guy, I think he's Amazing Red's brother, or cousin, or something? He was part of the 'They 2: this time it's personal' angle and then vanished without a trace. I only saw one (very short) match, but he seemed to be a pretty solid wrestler - I'd definitely be interested to see more of this guy.

10. Pope

Pope is on iMPACT fairly regularly, but at the moment he's in an awful feud with Joe that makes both of them look bad. I don't like his gimmick but he's a pretty decent wrestler on a good day...I'm not sure I'd want to see him get a big push or anything though.

11. Desmond Wolfe

I didn't realise he was still with TNA. Wolfe is one of the best wrestlers TNA have got, and you never, ever see him. I really wish TNA would use this guy properly, instead of him jobbing around with Magnus in a tag team that literally nobody gives a fuck about. Wolfe is champion material, no two ways about it.

12. Douglas Williams

I like Doug. He's a really good wrestler, but again is under-utilized. His X-Division reign was great, but he seems to have disappeared recently. I hope he gets a push soon.

13. Eric Young

It's fucking disgraceful the way TNA have treated Eric. They just seem to be out to humiliate him at every turn. He had a decent run a while back with the World Elite angle, which was dropped without comment. Then he was in The Band, but that ended in a fiasco. Since then, his gimmick is 'he's a fucking idiot' and on the rare occasions you do see him it's in the form of a terrible, 'comedy' promo that nobody finds funny. He's in a tag team that nobody cares about, and he's going nowhere. He deserves better.

14 & 15. Gen Me

Gen Me are great, a very talented young tag team. They're getting an okay amount of airtime, I'd be comfortable with seeing more of them because they always seem to deliver when they get in the ring. I think they need to develop their mic skills a little before they'll be considered great, but the potential is definitely there.

16 & 17 - Gunner & Murphy

I had these guys down as jobbers, but Gunner actually looked pretty decent on iMPACT against Murphy & Terry. It's hard to tell from a 2-minute match, but I'm curious now and I'd like to see a proper match to see what he can do. They get plenty of airtime, I don't really want to see any more of them than I do already.

18. Hernandez

I like Hernandez, but I prefer LAX by miles. He left for a year, was a big star in Mexico, then came back to...reignite a year-old feud that nobody gave a fuck about even when it was new, and participate in the most ridiculous screwjob I've ever seen. As much as I like him, he should have stayed in Mexico, where he wouldn't have to put up with this shit.

19 & 20. Beer Money

These guys are awesome. I was never sold on Roode as a singles competitor (which reminds me of another terrible angle Eric Young was in) but Beer Money are great. It's nice to see the belts around the right team's waists.

21. Jay Lethal

Where is Jay? He's one of TNA's most talented guys, you never see him any more. I could watch him every week to be honest.

22. Jeff Hardy

I'm not sure what's happening with Jeff after he ruined a PPV and embarrassed the company, but knowing TNA he'll end up with the belt by the end of the year. He gets way too much airtime, so much so that I don't give a fuck about anything he says or does.

23. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett can fuck off for the angle with Kurt and Karen. Dragging real life stuff like that into wrestling is just low. I didn't mind it because I thought Kurt must be okay with it, but according to rumours it's making him really upset backstage. So fuck Jarrett. Gets way too much TV time, especially considering all he does is bullshit, fake 'At home with the Jarretts' promos and never even talks about wrestling.

24. Jesse Neal

I like Jesse, especially how we've seen him go from nobody, to trainee wrestler, to fully fledged wrestler getting title shots. I think it's really cool how TNA have followed his career like that, and he's pretty decent in the ring now too.

25. Kaz

Kaz is great, and gets plenty of airtime. No complaints about the way he's being used (except I'd like to see more matches and less promos, but that's about TNA in general not about Kaz).

26. Kurt Angle

I don't understand why Kurt isn't in the title picture. He is the final boss of TNA, but he doesn't even get a look in.

27. Magnus

Magnus is not a great wrestler, but he's decent enough. I can see him having a decent run as a mid-card guy. He gets no TV time, but there's other people ahead of him in the queue.

28. Matt Hardy

I have no interest in Matt Hardy, he's only there because his brother is friends with the guys who hire and fire, and having him on the screen is a waste of my time.

29. Matt Morgan

I find it very hard to stay interested in Morgan. He's not bad in the ring, but he's terrible on the mic. He also spends a lot of time whining about how hard done by he is, which doesn't make for great TV.

30. Mick Foley

I didn't think Mick was still with TNA. According to his bio:

"...recently made his shocking return on "iMPACT!" after being fired by Eric Bischoff...what's next for Foley in TNA Wrestling?"

Did I completely miss this, or have they simply not bothered to look at this page since November (or whenever)?

31. Mr Anderson

I'm so bored of this guy. Same promo every week, and he's been whining for the last month or two about getting a title shot. Straight-up whining. I could live without Anderson being there tbh.

32. Orlando Jordan

A pretty decent wrestler, he was lumbered with a shit gimmick when he first arrived and when nobody liked it he was put in a tag team and quickly forgotten about. I'd be ok with seeing him get a push, so long as the tag team is disbanded and they don't use the 'if you don't let me bugger you, I'll beat the shit out of you' angle ever again.

33. Rob Terry

Shit. Gets way too much TV time.

34. RVD

Has been improving, but still way overused. Doesn't need to be on TV nearly as much. Awful on the mic.

35. Robbie E

Robbie E can fuck right off. Horrible gimmick, nothing special in the ring...why is he still there? Why does he get so much airtime? It is a mystery.

36. Samoa Joe

Joe's currently being used as a midcard wrestler, when he's much better than most of the guys currently in title contention. TNA have forgotten how to use this guy. He doesn't get anywhere near enough TV time, and has been stuck in a dead-end feud for months. He didn't even get a match at the last PPV - Morgan and Hernandez did. What are TNA doing? Fucked if I know.

37. Scott Steiner

Steiner came back, had one (pretty decent) match, and then disappeared again. Who knows what's going on with him? I really like him on the mic, even though it's an acquired taste...More Steiner on TV wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

38. Shannon Moore

No interest in Shannon Moore whatsoever.

39. Sting

I like Sting, he's much better on the mic (and especially at the psychological aspect) than most of the current top guys...I care more about TNA when Sting's there.

40. Suicide

Suicide (Daniels) is really good, but he's never on TV any more. We could definitely use more Suicide.

41. Tommy Dreamer

TNA Tommy seems to just be riding the coattails of ECW Tommy. He's done nothing recently that's anything special, you just get the feeling that his best matches are long behind him. I almost feel sorry for the guy.

TNA actually has way more guys than I realised, but still a long way short of 50.

Most of the roster is underused (but that's to be expected when a 2-hour show has roughly 9 minutes of wrestling), some are overused, and a handful are used properly (Fortune, and Gen Me).

I'd forgotten how much talent TNA actually has, when you consider who's under contract with them the low quality of the shows seems even worse.

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT, March 18

Before I get into iMPACT, I'd just like to point out that, as predicted, Victory Road got its own Botchamania:




I'm really only watching to see the fallout of the Jeff Hardy incident at the PPV, I don't really care about anything else. It's bad news for a wrestling company when fans care more about backstage shenanigans than the actual product, but TNA doesn't seem to be focusing on being a decent wrestling company so I doubt anyone there cares.

LET'S DO THIS

00:11 - Here comes Sting
01:14 - New belt :) Looks much better
6:04 - Hogan is saying Hardy's drug problems are because he wasn't good enough to live in Hogan's shadow? What in the fuck is he talking about?
08:09 - Bubba's coming to the ring? If they put Bubba in Jeff's spot, it'll be fucking hilarious
11:45 - Fortune also coming to the ring - I wish they'd have their meetings before the show starts, this is boring.
12:11 - This promo is now in its second quater hour...for fucks sake, TNA stands for Total Nonstop Action, WHERE IS THE FUCKING ACTION
14:48 - Oh FFS, here comes fucking Anderson
16:06 - Every week it's the same shit...change the fucking record
18:29 - Anderson v RVD v Bubba v AJ for the number 1 contenders spot as the main event...Sadly, no way is AJ winning :(
20:19 - Knockouts open challenge time
20:35 - Alyssa Flash :)
21:12 - That was fucking stupid, over in less than a minute...don't fucking bother having a match if you're not going to have a match
21:59 - "I've watched you week after week" (it's been 2 weeks plus whatever the hell that shit just now was)
23:30 - Mickie v Madison in a belt vs hair match at the PPV...The promo was longer than the match (and shit)
24:02 - What in the name of fuck is that thing Pope is talking to? Fucking hell...presumably it's human, but it looks like a sofa with limbs
24:54 - Anderson again, doing the same promo again, on the same subject again. He is so fucking boring.
26:31 - The promo hasn't started yet and it's already fucking terrible. I hope Joe puts Pope through the wheelchair, otherwise this is just a waste of time
29:27 - What the fuck is this shit
30:26 - Congrats TNA, you've reached a new low. Quite an achievement for you guys.
31:21 - JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE
32:13 - Pope pulled a knife on Joe's sidekick...I hope Joe gets that fuck off machete he used to run around with a couple of years ago
33:55 - Pope has turned the backstage area into some kind of S&M dungeon...TNA's sent a camera crew, but no security. I mean, he's only kidnapped and tied up a TNA wrestler, and is in the process of torturing him in TNA's own arena...that's not something that the company needs to concern itself with, right?
35:54 - TNA just literally and unironically aired a 3-minute torture scene
39:58 - Seriously, we're 40 mins in and there's been less than a minute of wrestling so far...and they're starting another bullshit promo...Jarrett shit again...this is supposed to be a wrestling show ffs
42:05 - Jarrett: "I want to stop the misery, tonight" - THEN FUCKING RETIRE YOU PRICK
43:37 - I can't believe Jarrett's wearing a 'total nonstop action' shirt to do a promo...what a fucking idiot
45:32 - Angle just brained Jarrett with a guitar...first decent thing to happen all night
45:49 - Fucking hell, Jarrett's cut pretty bad where Kurt hit him
46:09 - I'm semi convinced that Angle switched the stunt guitar for a real one full of razors...I'd love this to be a shoot
47:31 - Bischoff briefs the job squad
48:44 - Mixed six-person streetfight...Morgan and Beautiful people vs Hernandez, Sarita and...er...the other one. What a terrible, terrible idea for a match. Who sat down, looked at the roster, and decided that the best use of limited airtime was this shit? WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
49:59 - There's going to be a 3-way match with Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy for the TV title...another terrible match...it's like they're actually trying to drive away their fans
52:47 - Cops show up for Angle
54:14 - Shit match, Gunner won...which means I now actually know which one is Gunner and which is Murphy.
55:15 - Terrible promo by AJ
55:46 - Flair just got knocked the fuck out by AJ
56:58 - Time for the tag match from hell
58:00 - Christ, they gave Hernandez the mic again...
1:00:52 - That was terrible...and like 2 minutes long. Highlight was a spinning backbreaker thingie by Winter...not seen it before, it's an awesome move.
1:01:41 - Hernandez's new buddy reminds me of a Mexican X-Pac
1:03:41 - Main event time with over 20 mins of the show left? There must be a bullshit ending or something, otherwise this will be the first decent-length match TNA have put on iMPACT for months
1:12:38 - Oh for fucks sake. That was actually a really good match, but then Anderson and RVD both got laid out in the ring, while Bubba and AJ were outside. The ref counted 3 DESPITE NOBODY MAKING A FUCKING PIN, then went for the mic to announce the winner but Bubba knocked him out. Fucking TNA.
1:15 :08 - Bubba just powerbombed AJ off the stage through two tables...that was pretty cool
1:16:50 - There were several crash mats under the tables, on the replay you can see them very clearly...suddenly a much less impressive move
1:17:49 - John Cena got a bunch of homophobia complaints for telling The Rock 'your mountain is Brokeback'...I wonder how many Bubba will get for screaming "I'll bust your ass, you fag"?
1:18:29 - All this shit with putting AJ in a neckbrace and on a stretcher is bollocks...YOU SHOWED THE REPLAY OF THE FUCKING CRASH MATS LIKE 3 TIMES YOU FUCKING IDIOTS...AND IF IT WAS REAL YOU'D FUCKING CUT AWAY TO BACKSTAGE

That was fucking terrible...Until the main event there were maybe 5-10 decent seconds (Angle's guitar shot, Winter's finisher, AJ knocking Flair out cold), then the match was decent and way above TNA's usual standards, but then they decided to have a bullshit ending to the match, AND a bullshit fake injury to AJ. Fuck TNA, seriously...this is so much worse than WWE it's hard to believe they're in the same genre...let alone the fact that TNA is the number two English speaking wrestling company in the world.

After the shambles of a PPV, they really should have made this a great iMPACT, but it was possibly one of the worst episodes I've ever seen. Just, absolutely terrible.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW March 14th

Time to get my RAW on :)


0:54 - Straight into The Rock :D
2:40 - Kid raps better than the real Cena
5:21 - Rock spitting on a Cena shirt...made me laugh anyway
9:24 - Fucking random Rock promo...although, if they're starting with his promo instead of building up to it, he's probably there in person and ready to batter someone
10:09 - Michael Cole in a box...as you do
16:47 - Miz is actually a lot better than I remember him on the mic
18:51 - Cena v Del Rio should be interesting, I've never seen Del Rio wrestle...Miz v Khali sounds terrible
21:56 - Shockingly bad 'match', ended after a minute due to interference and then Miz hit Khali with a chair so many times the chair actually broke
23:03 - Khali is bleeding from the back where that broken chair hit him
23:34 - That box is fucking hilarious
27:19 - Ugh, Jersey shore...fastforwarding
28:43 - Sheamus v Danielson :)
35:51 - Really awesome match
36:45 - Fucking hell, what a finisher...Bryan came off the top rope to do a move, and Sheamus did a big boot and just kicked him out of the air...fucking awesome.
37:25 - That match was better than anything at Victory Road...hell, it was better than everything at Victory Road
39:03 - Cole's going to bring out 'someone from King's past' to humiliate him - I hope it's Andy Kaufmann, and he really did fake his own death
40:35 - Sweet, it's Brian Christopher :)
41:23 - Best entrance ever...I'm gonna watch it again
42:27 - He looks so different, I'm really not sure it's him...I'm guessing King would say something if it wasn't, but he's aged terribly
46:40 - Well, that was fucking awkward
47:02 - FUCKING JR FUCK YEAH
52:44 - JR getting battered by Swagger
54:39 - Fucking hell, that was...I don't even know how to describe it...Cole is actually an awesome heel, almost a shame he's a weaselly little runt who'll never make it as a wrestler
57:14 - Randy Orton vs what appears to be some kind of tank/human hybrid
61:02 - The RKO is really starting to annoy me...he just pulls it out of nowhere and gets the win...as a signature move like the Pele kick it'd be ok, but as a finisher I don't like it
67:59 - Cole on the mic again
74:11 - Trish is wrestling, but Jersey Shore bollocks at ringside...WHAT DO I DO
75:05 - Trish has aged much better than Grand Master Sexay...
76:59 - Morrison v Ziggler could be an awesome feud
77:29 - Vicky Guererro beat Trish Stratus...fuck you RAW
85:27 - Cena v Del Rio
87:05 - I think Brodus Clay might actually be an ork
90:15 - THE ROCK IS HERE
90:30 - Come on Rocky, show yourself god dammit
96:39 - It's not so much The Rock, as Miz in a baldie wig
100:42 - That's quite a comprehensive beatdown by Miz...he's actually a pretty decent heel nowadays

Yeah, good stuff.

RAW really highlights how bad iMPACT is nowadays...which is a shame as I'm gonna have to watch iMPACT this week to see the fallout from the Jeff Hardy incident at the PPV :/

That Clown from Outta Town - Victory Road 2011

I wasn't going to watch this, but the internet is going nuts about the main event...apparently Hardy was off his mash and Sting refused to wrestle him, so it was over in less than 90 seconds. I'm kinda intrigued to see it, so I'm watching.

LET'S DO THIS

03:11 - After watching a couple of episodes of RAW, TNA's pyros look fucking pathetic
03:45 - Wow, straight to wrestling...nice :) Bubba v Dreamer, this will be nowhere near as hardcore as it should be
04:27 - Bubba's grabbing the mic :D
11:21 - Pretty shit so far - I'd much rather see Team 3D v pretty much anybody than this...why did they ever get split up?
13:26 - The match involves an inflatable sex toy...it's pretty much irredeemable at this stage, unless 3D reform and this whole angle was an elaborate and pointless scheme to beat the shit out of Dreamer
14:50 - I was actually disappointed when Bubba kicked out, because it means this shit is going to go on for a couple more minutes
16:18 - WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU BREAK A PIN BECAUSE OF A ROPE BREAK IN A FUCKING FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH FFS TNA
17:05 - Bubba doing a promo in the middle of the match while Tommy lies helpless...Bubba wins a moral victory regardless of the outcome
18:19 - Devon came and gave Tommy the win...but who really gives a fuck? Not this guy.
19:33 - "Jeff is going to come into this thing prepared..." No, Taz. No he isn't.
20:27 - Winter is awful on the mic
21:00 - Knockouts, fast forwarding
31:06 - Yay, the Jarretts, just who I wanted to see
32:42 - Why is Morgan talking? He should be like oldschool Kane/Abyss...beat the shit out of people and SHUT THE FUCK UP
35:35 - Seriously now, I'd much rather see 3D v LAX than Bubba v Dreamer & Devon and Hernandez v Morgan...one good match is much better than two shit matches
39:08 - "How vicious is this??" It's not even slightly vicious, get a fucking grip
40:48 - Hernandez hits Morgan's head on the turnbuckle. Morgan goes 'again'. Hernandez does it again. The turnbuckle cover comes off. Hernandez goes 'it's off'. That'll make it to Botchamania (as will the entire main event no doubt)
41:40 - Someone threw a bottle and hit Morgan in the head...luckily it was plastic and empty
43:31 - A fake fan run-in..that's kinda dumb because it's obviously fake and it'll only encourage fucking idiots to actually try it
44:08 - Hernandez clearly blading right in front of the camera...yeah just stay on that closeup, don't try and hide it or anything
44:52 - Hernandez sprayed fake blood onto Morgan...if he gets the win because of this, TNA are shite
45:11 - TNA are shite
46:00 - THERE'S A FUCKING FAKE BLOOD BOTTLE ON THE FUCKING MAT HOW IS THAT DECISION FUCKING STANDING FFS TNA
47:28 - Gen Me v Kaz :D (with, sadly, Robbie E getting in the way)
56:46 - I wonder if Robbie E has a single actual fan in the whole world
58:19 - I can't believe this is the X-Division
59:29 - Fucking awesome moonsault to the outside by Jeremy Buck
01:02:41 - I have no idea what that move was, but it was fucking awesome...some kind of flipping moonsault into a stunner...
01:05:48 - Flux Capacitor from Kaz :) I think that, Douggie's Chaos Theory and Petey Williams' Canadian Destroyer are probably my 3 favourite X-division moves. Oh wait, also the Lethal Combination.
01:09:20 - Kaz wins...probably the best match so far, but considering it was Ultimate X I've seen better. Some fucking crazy moves though
01:11:29 - Jarrets again...I don't understand who TNA think they're entertaining
01:16:59 - Ink Inc v Beer Money - this should be match of the night
01:33:25 - Bit of a weird ending, but a decent enough match...a bit too much Moore for my liking, but that's small compared to TNA's usual bollocks
01:35:25 - Matt v AJ up next. I have to admit, Matt's new car looks pretty cool.
01:36:41 - I wonder if Matt was on whatever Jeff took, or if he's genuinely that shit on the mic
01:39:15 - Matt Hardy's a badass - he's wrestling in JEANS, like a boss. JEANS with SEQUINS, motherfucker.
01:56:42 - Not a bad match, went on for too long though, had way too much Matt Hardy, who fucked up a lot...that finisher by AJ was fucking awesome though
01:58:21 - Seriously Flair, how do you fuck up a simple eye-poke?
01:59:10 - More fucking Jarrett
2:00:44 - I really don't get the point of these Jarrett promos...they're not entertaining and they're nothing to do with wrestling...put that shit on Youtube or something
2:01:59 - Anderson's promo is awful...it's just the same old shit...and he's whining. Who likes a whiny wrestler?
2:05:05 - Quick note to RVD - there's a difference between 'making it look effortless', and 'it actually is effortless because you get given it on a plate by Eric Bischoff'...
2:06:49 - Anderson fumbled the mic and hit himself in the face with it...this PPV will be a Botchamania special at this rate
2:09:10 - Christ, the first 20 seconds or so looked amateurish
2:10:23 - There's something worrying about a room full of fat nerds chanting "We love asshole"
2:10:59 - Anderson reversing a leapfrog by accidentally headbutting RVD in the sphincter...fucking hell this is bad
2:13:01 - The fans are barely reacting to anything...you get a smattering of applause for the rolling thunder or a suicide dive, but the crowd do not seem to give a single fuck about this match
2:18:39 - I don't get these fans...they're not reacting to anything that happens in the match, but they're all taking part in the chanting...if you don't give enough of a fuck to cheer, how can you give enough of a fuck to chant?
2:20:55 - Anderson does his finisher on the steel entrance ramp, and all the crowd does is a half-hearted 'Oooh'?
2:21:33 - Double countout? FFS TNA that's pathetic
2:21:59 - That said, the match was terrible and I'm glad it's over. And the crowd were also terrible.
2:23:12 - The fans are chanting 'restart the match'...they didn't give a fuck about the match when it was happening, but when it stops they suddenly care? WTF TNA fans
2:24:47 - Grandma, what dilated pupils you have
2:32:47 - It's hard to tell how fucked up Hardy is with all that shit on his face
2:34:30 - Bischoff desperately pretending to do a promo so he can come out and tell them not to bother with the match
2:35:59 - Jesus, he's so fucked up he's taken off his T-shirt, and can't figure out how to throw it into the crowd
2:36:13 - Sting looks fucking angry
2:37:05 - Fucking hell, he was trying to kick out and his shoulders weren't even down, that's fucking hilarious
2:37:23 - The look of disapproval on Sting's face is classic

As funny as that was, it was pretty bad. TNA should never have let Hardy out there in that condition...they should have said he wasn't there because of 'travel problems', or an 'injury' or something, made the Anderson v RVD match a 3-way with Sting, and bumped one of the dark matches up to the main card. Or something. Anything is better than pissing off the fans (some of whom paid actual money to watch that), and a double countout. Not to mention publicly humiliating one of their biggest name stars.

I know I haven't liked Hardy's run in TNA, but it's really sad to see a once-great wrestler reduced to this. I hope he gets himself sorted out - although I'm sure this incident won't help his court hearing for drug trafficking one bit. He's apparently been suspended, I'm guessing it'll be permanent to be honest.

Aside from that...pretty shit PPV. Not the worst, but definitely way below average.

TNA Victory Road - predictions revisited...

This was not a good PPV, there were some decent enough matches, but with some terrible booking and quite a few stupid endings, this made for frustrating viewing. Anyway, let's see how I did:

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
Jeff Hardy vs. (c) Sting


"Hardy will get the strap back and the match will be Sting by numbers... pretty sure Hardy will go through the motions. Mediocre match to be expected."


Sting retained in a main event that was about a minute and a glaf long. This was bullshit and I really feel sorry for US fans who had to pay to watch this. A bit of advice for TNA: DON'T GIVE YOUR TOP BELT TO A GUY WHO CAN NO LONGER MOVE. There was beautiful WCW moment when Sting was leaving when a fan shouted "that was bullshit" and Sting shrugged and said: "I agree".

Match rating: *

FIRST BLOOD MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

"Is this feud still going on? Can't wait to see this! Flip a coin: Morgan. Another mediocre match."

Mediocre would have been much better than this bag of shit. The match was rubbish all the wat through until a "fan" ran in and beat up the ref, the "fan" then left a bottle of red food colouring for Hernadez to throw on Morgan... so fucking stupid.

Match rating: *

#1 CONTENDER MATCH
Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

"See Hardy vs Sting, but replace the names with RVD and Anderson... RVD to win."

My God, this match was terrible. It didn't go anywhere, they fucked up about a dozen times and they both looked like they were about to laugh. I can't emphasise enough how bad this was... then we get to the ending: a double countout. At this point half of the crowd were chanting: "Restart the match!" whilst the rest of the crowd were shouting "No!" in response - they knew they had seen a bad match.


Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

"This match has potential, but I don't hold out much hope for it in all honesty. If Matt's on form they should be able to pull something decent out their ass. AJ to win."

This was a very good match, Matt Hardy worked like he was actually on a PPV. This was easily the best match of the night, even though it wasn't a great match by any means. AJ won with a Spiral Tap... AJ's not done that one for an age.

Match rating: ***1/2

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X TITLE
Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. (c) Kazarian vs. Robbie E

"Love Ultimate X, don't see wwhy Robbie E gets another title shot after losing his last two. Would have been better if Lethal, Suicide or Amazing Red we in this... Kaz to win."

This was a pretty decent match, but compared with a lot of other Ultimate X matches, it's not one of the best. Kaz was great in this one and ended up getting the win by walking on the ropes to get the belt... and Kaz retained so that's good. Look out for Robbie E's title shot next week on Impact (wins and losses really don't matter in TNA).

Match rating: **1/2

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Ink Inc vs. (c) Beer Money

"This might be the match of the night. Beer Money to win"

It wasn't the match of the night, but it was a good mathc. Not up to Beer Money's usual standard, but still pretty decent.

Match rating: ***

CHALLENGE MATCH
Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

"I'm sure Tommy will do something stupid and get really hurt in this. Bubba to win."

This was like every hardcore match I've ever seen... and for some reason there was sex doll that came into play. The match ended with Dreamer getting the win (though only once Devon got involved and Bubba got 3Ded through a table. Just a quick note: YOU DO NOT GET A ROPE BREAK IN A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH.

Match rating: *

KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Sarita & Rosita vs. (c) Angelina Love & Winter

"Angelina Love is getting skinnier and skinnier, she's lile two tits pinned onto a stick... it's not a nice look. Winter on the other hand would definitely get it.

X-ita to win."

I was right on the result, and boy was this a bad bad match, even in terms of bad women's matches, this was fucking horrible. The ending was confusing and stupid. There was a spot where Winter got Rosita rolled up, there was some interference and Rosita got Winter rolled up. The ref was out of position, so for about 10 seconds they were frozen in position waiting for the count. Considering that Winter's legs are almost as long a Rosita, I'm not conviced that a skinny little 4'11" thing could seriously hold Winter down for that long.

Match rating: *

There were far too many terrible matches on this PPV. If I had paided for this PPV I would demand my money back. I'm looking forward to Raw.

Random thoughts about WWE

WWE has been great since the Rumble... The Rock is back, and he's putting out some great promos... Cena's last promo, his knockout blow... ahem... I liked it how Cena wants to ejaculate on the neck and upper chest of the Rock... I'm looking forward to Cena's Orlando Jordan 'gay rapist' gimmick to emerge. JOHN CENA WANTS TO EJACULATE ON THE NECK AND UPPER CHEST OF THE ROCK - I hope they write that on Cena's fucking tombstone... (segway alert) ...and speaking of tombstones, the Undertaker/HHH mania thing seems a bit dumb... I'm pretty sure Trip lost to Taker at Wrestlemania before (17?) but they are making out like they've never even had a match before. Triple H really does have the best job ever... (segway alert) ...and speaking of jobbing, I really don't like the way they are turning the American Dragon Bryan Danielson into a jobber (job/jobber, that was the link, I could write shit for local news with this level of quality journalism)... (segway alert)... and speaking of journalism, I've warmed to Michael Cole, as a 'broadcast journalist' I can take him or leave him... as a lamerntable little heel prick he's fucking awesome... I really want to see Jerry Lawler kick this guy's ass, and THAT is how a wrestling feud should work... Punk needs to turn babyface... maybe we'll get a double turn at Mania? ...and the Miz continues to look like a geek... I hope someone lays the Smackdown on him (I'll stop with the bad segways now)...
Smackdown is also getting better with the Mysterio/Rhodes feud actually being quite engaging (the reasons for this seem to be that, structurally speaking, the feud has been lifted from the Generico/Steen feud on ROH last year... but most of the WWE 'Universe' won't realise that).
Alberto Del Rio is fucking awesome, I hope he breaks Edge's face off at WM... I wish there was an audio option to get rid of Booker T's commentary, though... and hopefully Vicky G will fuck off for good so she can sag further towards the earth's core looking like some melted version of a really ugly sex doll.

Dr Socko, PhD

TNA Victory Road - predictions

As rightly pointed out by Clown, WWE is on fire at the minute, although the suggestion that John Cena would like to give the Rock a pearl necklace is somewhat disturbing. On the other end f the spectrum, we have out latest TNA PPV - the card doesn't inspire confidence.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
Jeff Hardy vs. (c) Sting

Hardy will get the strap back and the match will be Sting by numbers... pretty sure Hardy will go through the motions. Mediocre match to be expected.

FIRST BLOOD MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Is this feud still going on? Can't wait to see this! Flip a coin: Morgan. Another mediocre match.

#1 CONTENDER MATCH
Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

See Hardy vs Sting, but replace the names with RVD and Anderson... RVD to win.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

This match has potential, but I don't hold out much hope for it in all honesty. If Matt's on form they should be able to pull something decent out their ass. AJ to win.

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X TITLE
Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. (c) Kazarian vs. Robbie E

Love Ultimate X, don't see wwhy Robbie E gets another title shot after losing his last two. Would have been better if Lethal, Suicide or Amazing Red we in this... Kaz to win.

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Ink Inc vs. (c) Beer Money

This might be the match of the night. Beer Money to win

CHALLENGE MATCH
Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

I'm sure Tommy will do something stupid and get really hurt in this. Bubba to win.

KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Sarita & Rosita vs. (c) Angelina Love & Winter

Angelina Love is getting skinnier and skinnier, she's lile two tits pinned onto a stick... it's not a nice look. Winter on the other hand would definitely get it.

X-ita to win.

Plus, The Jarretts go on their honeymoon after renewing their vows!

This will be great... maybe not.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, Feb 28th & March 3rd

Ok, so this is a couple of weeks old now, but I just found out The Rock is back. That makes WWE worth watching, imo. Also, TNA has gone back to being shit, so I'm going to go back to not watching it.

LETS DO THIS

0:11 - The WWE intro still reminds me of botchamania
0:33 - HHH is back again...I am so jealous of that guy, he can come and go as he pleases and get whatever belt he wants basically on command...if my boss' daughter wasn't 8, I'd consider getting that kind of sweet deal myself
2:10 - Triple H is blatantly going to end Taker's streak...
10:57 - I really don't understand why Trip and Seamus are brawling...He just cut a 10 minute promo on Taker, now he's fighting a totally different guy? Might make more sense if I watched every week to be fair...
16:49 - Sweet, Evan Bourne :) I remember him being awesome
23:35 - Lawler v Cole, feud of the year
28:41 - Austin's back next week...Austin and Rock together again, fucking awesome
29:48 - Cole is much better as a fucking mental commentator than he ever was as a straight-up commentator
32:40 - Just watching Orton's promo...I'm not sure when it happened, but WWE is actually way better at promos than TNA now, and that includes the ones with no Bischoff
44:19 - Miz as champ...I feel like I ought to be pissed off about it, but I don't really give a fuck
51:50 - Cena commenting on Miz's mic skills? He's terrible. The Rock fucking owned him two weeks ago, and is gonna do the same tonight...
54:47 - Cena talking is actually the worst part of the show so far
60:29 - Divas battle royale...fast forwarding
64:44 - Does Cena actually think he's rapping, and not just reciting bad poetry?
69:19 - Fucking cracking up, Rock is awesome
75:28 - The Rock is fucking amazing...nobody wrestling today is even close to him on the mic, fucking hell
79:16 - Danielson :D
80:01 - Being owned by Miz :(
81:20 - No idea what that was all about
87:40 - Miz taking a picture of Cena was actually pretty funny
95:20 - Not the greatest main event...

Pretty good show actually...although The Rock was clearly the best bit.

Fuck it, that was so good I'm gonna watch this week's back-to-back...Bring on Austin :D

1:44 - Wow, I like Taker's new music
9:26 - Cena's going to respond to The Rock...I hope he steps his game up, his last response was just embarrassing
17:13 - Punk v Orton should be pretty decent
20:06 - Christian made it to RAW? Cool :)
26:18 - Del Rio's cross arm breaker is awesome
32:20 - Divas, fast forwarding...I heard Kong was coming to WWE, will not be fast forwarding that...
36:44 - Cole standing on the announce table and interrupting the match is hilarious
37:22 - Ok, fast forwarding again
38:39 - Cole v King...best feud since King v Kaufman
38:57 - Oh for fucks sake Jersey fucking Shore again...stop putting this shit in wrestling, seriously
43:03 - JBL is back...I heard a story that one time, he got in an argument with Joey Styles, and Styles knocked him the fuck out with a single punch...I don't know if it's true, but I choose to believe it is
48:22 - FUCK YEAH AUSTIN
55:50 - TNA doesn't even come close to this
56:42 - Looks like it's time for Cena's response...he really needs to step his game up, he's like the main guy in WWE and Rock's making him look like a complete amateur
56:58 - Nope, more Cole
58:42 - Danielson :D Hope he makes it to the ring this week
59:16 - Sheamus...I hope Danielson ruins him
60:36 - Why is he so pale? Did he get a full-body tattoo with white ink or something?
61:36 - Damn was that for real? Looked like Sheamus might have actually fucked his ankle. I wanted Danielson to win, but not like that :(
63:00 - Just put his career on the line next week, I'm gonna say his ankle's fine
63:32 - CM Punk :D
63:45 - Punk v R Truth...this could be pretty good, unless Orton goes mental or something
67:40 - Pretty short match :(
71:33 - Ugh, Vicky Guererro
72:32 - She's lost all that weight, and actually looks worse
72:49 - I really want Austin to come out here and stunner her fucking head off...or maybe just her voicebox
73:11 - Ziggler's coming to RAW :)
74:11 - John Morrison :)
77:18 - That was way too easy...
79:19 - Trish Stratus is back too? Awesome
81:07 - Josh Matthews isn't too bad as a commentator...compared to the other people they've had since JR left.
83:47 - OK, Cena time...
84:14 - I can't wait to see this promo, because I want to see how a guy responds to what happened last week...this is what wrestling is supposed to be...this is what TNA is missing. I watch TNA because I hope it's not shite for the sake of the good wrestlers there. I don't give a fuck about the storylines or the promos, I just want to see the guys I like get decent matches.
86:44 - 2 weeks ago, Cena was a bad rapper. This week, he's a bad stand-up comedian. WHEN IS HE GOING TO DO A PROMO AS A FUCKING WRESTLER FOR FUCKS SAKE
88:15 - He's gonna rap again? For fucks sake, you looked like a fucking clown the first time, doing that shit again is even worse
90:57 - Ok, the T-shirt is pretty funny
96:06 - Fucking hell, even The Miz is better than Cena on the mic...I finally realise why so many people hate him. They always say he's a shit wrestler, but he's decent - it's his mic work that's shite.

2 RAWs back to back and I can't wait till the next one...I can't think of a situation where I'd voluntarily watch 2 iMPACTs without a 'sanity break' in-between.

It's really refreshing to look forward to a wrestling show because you care about an angle and want to see what happens next. Instead of dreading watching it in case it's completely shit, as it so often is (I'm looking at you, TNA).

Mania's shaping up pretty well this year, Punk v Orton should be good, and HHH v Taker should be awesome. Not too fussed about Cena v Miz, though. Looking forward to Austin killing Michael Cole. Anyway, should be better than last year's...

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT, March 10

Just found out The Rock is back in WWE - I'm totally jumping ship from TNA to see his run. This week's iMPACT was already downloaded though, so

HERE

WE

GO

00:29 - Rudos? Some kind of Mexican invasion? Sounds cool
01:23 - Why yes, I would much rather see highlights of last week's iMPACT than new material - thanks, TNA
04:34 - Why yes, I would much rather listen to Hogan and Bischoof than Sting - thanks, TNA
08:34 - Why yes, this promo would be improved by Mr Anderson spouting the same old catchphrases - thanks, TNA
11:41 - Why yes, yet another WWE reject would make this abortion of a promo the highlight of the fucking show - thanks, TNA
12:55 - Ok, I can't even be sarcastic any more - what the fuck is this shit? Sting, Hogan, Bischoff, Mr Anderson, Jeff Hardy and now fucking RVD yapping on and fucking on about the shitty, Jeff Hardy-themed, heavyweight belt...FUUUUCCCCKKKK
15:38 - 15 minutes to set up for a tag match...I'm willing to bet real money that the match is shorter than 15 minutes
17:15 FUCK YES SAMOA FUCKING JOE FINALLY TNA DO SOMETHING RIGHT FUCK YEAH
18:11 - Last time these guys were on the show, Dinero got put through a pig...I hope something that good happens this week
22:09 - Pope wins with a chain - fuck you, TNA
23:43 - Knockouts - fast forwarding, mainly because of Jersey Shore crap
24:18 - Oh wait, it's the open challenge...watching
25:04 - Madison is terrible on the mic
25:31 - Roxxi...not as cool as ODB
27:44 - Post match beatdown broken up by a Diva reject
28:28 - Bubba v Dreamer in a parking lot brawl...this is gonna be a lot less hardcore than it should be
31:01 - It turned out to be Devon...I wonder what someone channel flipping would think they were watching during that whole thing
33:13 - Knockouts with Jersey Shore bollocks...fast forwarding
38:28 - Ric Flair & Matt Hardy v AJ in a street fight...sounds dire

Speaking of which, TNA are doing a new line of action figures...Matt Hardy's is pretty cool

47:51 - Matt Hardy is about as good on the mic as Madison...who the fuck let him talk?
48:18 - "...what I've became" Maybe the reason that you failed as a wrestler isn't 'the system', it's the fact you can't fucking speak English properly?
56:48 - Gen Me :D
57:15 - ...jobbing to Ink inc.
57:56 - Oh wait, 3-way tag match?
58:08 - Nope, they're dressed to talk...
58:30 - Ah, guest commentators
1:02:37 - Midair spear...awesome move by Jesse
1:10:47 - They're going to put fucking Robbie E in a fucking Ultimate X match? FFS TNA, you are awful
1:12:17 - The PPV looks a bit shit
1:22:37 - The main event is a complete fucking mess

That was shit...WWE it is, then.

That Clown from Outta Town - March 3rd iMPACT

Moment of truth...either TNA's gonna get rid of the Bisch, or I'm gonna be one pissed off Clown.

The card looks awful, there's Jersey Shore bollocks, and the nonsense wedding thing too...plus from Socko's post it looks like there's no good matches. Still, if it means Bischoff and Hogan might be fucking off, It's worth a watch.

I'm nervous in case it all goes tits-up.

LET'S DO THIS

0:08 - Starting with Dixie...makes a change from The Bisch...please be good news.
1:53 - Starting with the court ruling? That's the fucking main event, what the fuck is this shit
2:10 - That's that then...TNA's gonna continue being utter shit
5:38 - This is shite
9:07 - This is boring...tempted to fast forward
10:54 - Now Fortune's getting in on it...
15:56 - Brawling backstage...every fucking week
19:07 - Tag titles as the first match...FFS TNA. Why are fucking jobbers getting fucking title shots?
21:32 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'FRESH'? THEY'VE ONLY BEEN WRESTLING FOR 90 SECS EVERYONE IS FUCKING FRESH FFS
23:10 - THREE FUCKING MINUTE FUCKING TITLE MATCH WHAT IN CHRISTS NAME ARE YOU FUCKING DOING
23:39 - Jesse Neal :D
24:38 - Jesse's getting a title shot :)
25:41 - 10 foot wedding cake? Someone is definitely going through that motherfucker
27:01 - "Will this be the first wedding in pro wrestling history to go off without a hitch? We'll see..."
27:35 - Knockouts...could be Velvet's last match though, so I'll watch. Getting rid of her would be a mistake, so they'll probably do it.
30:21 - Another two minute match
30:35 - Another post match interruption...did they just cut and paste the script from earlier or something?
31:41 - Waste of fucking screen time
32:50 - Second brawl
34:12 - This is hard going...I'm not sure I can watch the whole thing
37:37 - Angle's taping his fists, ready for the wedding...as you do.
39:19 - THAT IS NOT A 10 FOOT CAKE...It's like 6 feet, including the table it's on...and the little columns holding up each tier. IT'S A REGULAR 4 TIER WEDDING CAKE. DO YOU REALISE HOW MANY LAME PORTAL JOKES PEOPLE ARE GOING TO MAKE ABOUT THIS SHIT, TNA, YOU CUNTS
39:42 - Eric Young has a belt?? What belt is it? I have no idea.
40:37 - Haha, Angle attacked Jarrett before he was even halfway down the entrance ramp
40:38 - 40 minutes in, 3rd brawl. Fuck this shit.
41:33 - Do TNA really believe this is entertainment? Like, really?
41:52 - Karen got caked...not worth the 2 months build-up tbh.
43:48 - Do the ratings really go up when Hardy wrestles? I doubt it tbh...I should check that out sometime
46:21 - Rob Terry? Again? Why are thy wasting time on this shit? Although, considering the other stuff they think is worth broadcasting, he isn't actually that bad.
51:40 - That was the best 5 minutes of the show so far...Steiner basically dominated him, lots of mean looking suplexes, then choked/reclinered him out...
54:30 - Hernandez v Morgan...I really wish they'd reform LAX, they were fucking awesome heels...Hernandez on his own isn't the same. Although, it's only been like 3 weeks so he might grow into it.
57:02 - Morgan's destroying him
60:13 - DQ from hitting his head into the ring steps? WTF TNA
63:08 - OH MY FUCK THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING THE FUCKING WEDDING AGAIN
64:30 - I feel sorry for Eric and Orlando...it clearly wasn't funny the first time, but they make them go out and do it again...GIVE THEM A FUCKING MATCH INSTEAD OF THIS BULLSHIT WEDDING BULLSHIT
66:19 - Wait, Angle's actually giving her away now? WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHRIST IS GOING ON??
76:12: Total Nonstop Action = 15 mins of action, 15 mins of bullshit wedding, rest of the show is talking
76:34 - Here comes the 3rd lame celebrity of the night
78:36 - The whole 'The Network' angle is a rip off from ECW, except there it actually made sense because ECW's station was actually trying to censor/tone down the show - the fictional 'Network' was a stab at the actual TV channel that aired the show and the bullshit they caused. Here, they're just pulling it out of their arse and it's fucking stupid
81:46 - TNA's attempts at a dramatic entrance look so amateur compared to WWE.
82:15 - I have never been so happy to see Sting in all my life
82:33 - Before Hogan and Bischoff, I used to dislike all the 'veteran' wrestlers like Sting, Nash, Steiner, because they took TV time away from the younger, more talented wrestlers trying to make a name. Now, I like them because despite their age they are much, much better wrestlers than the current main dudes.
84:11 - LETS GO STING LETS GO STING LETS GO STING
90:06 - Hardy kicking out of certain death :(
90:36 - TOP ROPE SCORPION DEATH DROP FUCK YEAH GOTTA BE A NEW CHAMP FUCK YEAH
90:58 - FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NEW FUCKING CHAMP AND IT'S NOT A FUCKING WWE REJECT FUCKING AWESOME

Pretty shit iMPACT, but it made up for it right at the end...I was gonna stop watching if Hogan and Bischoff stayed, but I think I'll stay for Sting's title run tbh.

Best match was Steiner v Rob Terry, which is pretty fucking incredible when you think about it.

2 weeks, no Joe. WHAT THE FUCK TNA...HOW DO GUNNER AND MURPHY, ROB TERRY AND FUCKING MORGAN v HERNANDEZ AGAIN GET AIR TIME BUT JOE DOESN'T WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Also, I heard Shark Boy quit TNA...sucks. Didn't even get a farewell match or anything.

TNA - 3/3/11 - predictions

As TNA seem to be building up to an important Impact rather than PPVs, I thought I'd do my predictions for this one. Doing a quick Google search for the card, it looks like its already been taped... I'm not one of these smark fans who needs to read spoilers, so rest assured, I'm as much in the dark about the results as the average Joe. I'll admit that the match line-up is suprising... but not in a good way. Let's do this!

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match:
Beer Money vs. Gunner and Murphy

I can't believe this is a real match. How can a couple of jobbers become contenders? With the matches last summer between Beer Money and the Guns, the tag belts felt like they meant something, doing a match like this is just meaningless. If G and M win I might be done with TNA. Please be Beer Money.


Sarita vs. Velvet Sky

I've noticed that the more Velvet wrestles, the worse she gets... not sure how this is possible, maybe her plastic fun bags are slowly poisoning her brain or somethig. Velvet will win though.

Scott Steiner vs. Rob Terry

Who booked this one? Really, this might be the worst match ever. Scott Steiner is good on the mic, and is good in an enforcer type role, but he's not a great worker anymore... Rob Terroid is still shit. Hope Steiner wins though.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

I thought this feud was resolved months ago? It's not going to be very good and I'm sure Hernandez will win.

TNA World Championship Match:

Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

No need for this match, at all. Sting to win, but it's going to be bad. I'm pretty sure that Sting can hardly move anymore, and Hardy's matches have been as sloppy as a diseased vagina as of late...

On the whole, there is nothing I could give a shit about in this one, and this is what has been building to for a few weeks. This will be the Impact with the wedding that's not really a wedding, and I'm not looking forward to seeing the car-crash that it will be... I predict Karen will get slmmed into the wedding cake.