RIP TNA: A Memorial - Part 3

In a continuations of my tearful send off of TNA, the match I want to share with you today is America's Most Wanted versus Triple X in six sides (count them) of steel. The rivalry between Triple X and AMW came a head after a two year build-up in this match match, which can be fairly described as one of the craziest cage matches in TNA history.

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT October 14th 2010 - Boycott TNA, watch PWG instead!

Well, that didn't last long...I don't think even Foley himself has come back quicker than I did.

On the other hand, I'm not 'back' back - Socko asked me to do a review of this week's iMPACT because it was so terrible. Which is nice - whenever I tell him about wrestling it's 'Hey Socko, did you check out the Anderson v Angle cage match yet?' or 'Hey Socko, check out this awesome ECW match I found on youtube'. But when he tells me to watch something, it's because it's the shittest iMPACT in living memory. Socko, you're a sadist.

Still, he did literally put me in a mandible claw to get me to agree to do this. Let's get this shite over with, I've got better things to do.

0:55 - Quick tip, TNA - if you're going to start the show with a highlight package, don't make it a highlight package of something shit. That's not a highlight. It's just a piece of shit.
4:00 - 4 minutes in, I'm already bored. I don't really know the details of the contract angle, but it seems pretty stupid.
5:06 - The crowd chanting 'Hogan sucks'...like they've ONLY JUST realised that he's bad for TNA? Every idiot in that arena deserves everything they're getting.
6:18 - "...there is, a motor to this madness..." has to be the worst Shakespeare misquote I've ever heard, and it makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
8:25 - I'm not actually listening to a word they're saying...it's literally going in one ear and out the other..
9:00 - Here comes Abyss
9:43 - The crowd is pissing me off. Don't stand there booing, just walk out...the louder you complain, the more they'll go on about how much 'heat' they have. Just leave the arena, switch off your TV, and they'll go back to putting on a good show. Then you can start watching again.
11:57 - As stupid and boring as this is, I still like Jarrett's music.
12:41 - "Genius!" - Yeah, Jarrett, working for 8 years to build up a company only to hire the guy who wrecked your last company and lose everything sounds a lot like genius.
14:17 - Is this...a Fortune face turn?? Ok, now they have my interest
16:21 - And they lost it again. Still, 2 minutes out of 16 is pretty good for TNA nowadays.
17:52 "Now for the moment you've all been waiting for..." Er...some wrestling?
18:13 - Jeff Hardy. I don't think Bischoff understands the phrase 'the moment you've all been waiting for'.
18:47 - Hardy's new music is the most mediocre entrance music I've heard in a while. Dull as shit.
19:40 - Why does Hardy remind me of Raven tonight?
20:46 - Hardy's criticizing RVD for being a politician? What the fuck, you're Bischoff's buddy and just screwed Angle and Anderson out of the belt, and you're criticizing people for politics? Are you mental?
28:02 - Still bored.
32:33 - "You little smug shit" First sensible thing Dixie's said since January 4th...kinda surprised they didn't beep it to be honest
34:12 - I like Madison's new music
34:26 - And her new look
35:05 - I still hate her whiney voice though - fast forwarding
39:11 - Well that was fucking stupid.
40:14 - I have no idea who this woman is
41:33 - Mickie James...another WWE reject. Just what TNA needs right now.
41:59 - There's some kind of celebrity with even faker boobs than the Beautiful People...I'm gonna go ahead and guess reality star? Maybe pop singer, but American pop stars are usually hotter than that.
43:44 - Eric Young deserves better.
45:13 - 'Please don't go' chants for Angle. Damn straight.
51:19 - Kurt getting owned by security guards. Ffs TNA.
54:54 - Oh, a wrestling match...I'd almost forgotten that this was a wrestling show. The funny thing is, I'm genuinely not being sarcastic.
55:43 - FUCK YEAH JOE
58:44 - Seriously, TNA, go fuck yourself.
58:59 - RVD is making the save? Double fuck yourself you fucking cunt, TNA
59:46 - Wow, those are some pretty big scars RVD has from when Abyss attacked him with Janice. OH WAIT THERE AREN'T ANY
61:43 - Hardy's calling himself the new antichrist of professional wrestling...the last antichrist of professional wrestling was Judas Messias, so Jeff's in good company.
62:40 - RVD v Anderson is the main event. Sigh.
64:41 - Right. Now I'm really pissed off. Bischoff's firing his secretary, and he goes 'If you want to be part of TNA, put on some boots and go wrestle with the knockouts...because that's all you're good for'. Are you fucking kidding me? Wrestlers ARE the show. Being a wrestler is the highest fucking accolade in TNA, not a punishment...to dismiss wrestlers out of hand like that is a fucking insult. I know I usually fast forward the Knockouts, but they have consistently had the highest rated segments on the show for years. Why the fuck are TNA publicly disrespecting their most popular stars?
66:48 - Wow, Pope v all of Fortune? This ought to be a great match...
72:12 - What the fuck were they? They look like an internet meme gone wrong...
73:42 - Seriously, what the fuck are these people? Is it a joke like Ali G or what?
75:29 - They say if infinite monkeys had infinite typewriters and infinite time, eventually one of them would write the complete works of Shakespeare. This episode of iMPACT - three monkeys, ten minutes.
76:55 - Catfights are only good when a) the women are hot, b) the women are wearing skimpy clothing. When it's two moderately attractive women wearing full street clothes...what's the fucking point?
80:52 - RVD v Anderson. 2:22 left of the show. This is gonna be shit.

And the match ended on Reaction. I won't bother watching it because I don't give a fuck - and I only said I'd watch iMPACT. And I'm not watching again until the first iMPACT after Hogan and Bischoff leave. I might watch a PPV or two if the lineup looks decent though.

This was a pretty shit show. TNA's been this bad for a while. They're rehashing an old angle that was relevant 20 years ago, and was a failure even then. Now, it's both obsolete and a failure. I really hope ratings drop off so that the bean counters get the message that Hogan and Bischoff are ruining the show...if they do OK ratings-wise, this shit will never end.

Starting next month, I should be able to free up enough cash to start importing indie DVDs from the US, so I'll probably start reviewing PWG and Chikara, maybe others. I love PWG, even though I haven't seen nearly enough of it. If you have any interest in wrestling you should definitely take a look at their Youtube. Having said that, there's a PWG fan who makes homebrew highlight videos for Youtube, which are actually better than PWG's professional ones - it's definitely worth taking a look (although he's been pretty quiet lately).

RIP TNA: A memorial - Part 2

The next match I want to share with you is from Final Resolution in 2005. The match in question is one of TNA's greatest innovations: the Ultimate X. In this match we see Petey Williams versus AJ Styles versus Chris Sabin for the X Division title.

TNA have done some shite gimmicks in their time, but the Ultimate X isn't one of them. This was the first Ultimate X match where the combination of wrestlers and spots made it a staple of the (what seems to be) long forgotten X Division.

Sit back and enjoy, this is an awesome match.

RIP TNA: A memorial.

Let's not dwell on the bad times, TNA has put on some amazing matches in its time. In a tribute to TNA here is the first part of my top ten matches in TNA history.

My tenth favourite match in TNA history is from August 2002: Jerry Lynn versus Lo-Ki versus AJ Styles. There was a lot of crap that was put out during the first few years of TNA, and matches during this time haven't aged well. This is still a great match and has some pretty nasty spots once the ladders get involved. Enjoy!

TNA Impact: 14th October

As TNA is meant to be a wrestling show, I’ve decided I’m going to ignore the promos during this one. This is no easy challenge as most of the episode was taken up with people standing there with mics in their hands... and it was all Hogan/Bischoff Bullshit... ugh.

Only 37 minutes (not counting adverts) into this, we have our first match: a Knockouts match between Tara and Madison Rayne for the Knockouts championship. I use the word match very loosely here as all that happened was that the bell rang, Tara lay on the mat and Madison pinned her, thus become the new Knockouts champ. The match literally lasted less than 10 seconds.

At almost 55 minutes in, the first real match starts: Samoa Joe versus Abyss. This could have been a very good match, and started off quite promisingly with Joe being all over Abyss with a barrage of chops, punches and kicks. Abyss got the Chokeslam and Joe was down on the mat, not moving. Abyss left the ring and got a chair to attack Joe with, but Joe got up and did a Suicide Dive into the chair and cracked Abyss in the face. Abyss then took the ring bell and corked Joe over the head with it busting him wide open, brother. At this point Abyss was disqualified... a DQ after 2 minutes? Oh dear. With Joe looking weak and bleeding all over himself, Abyss goes for the post-match beat-down... hark! Who should save the day but Rob Van Dam... Since when does Joe get so beaten by Abyss, and since when did Joe need a run-in by RVD to save him?

By the end of the first hour, we’ve had less than 3 minutes of in-ring action... less than 3 minutes.

At just under 67 minutes in, we have our next match: a handicap match between the Pope and Fourtune. Yes, all six of them. I think the word Retarded would be more fitting here than Handicap. Unsurprisingly, Fourtune won. This match was given a whole 3 minutes, thus doubling the amount of in-ring action we’ve seen in this episode.

At 79 ½ minutes, we have our main event of the evening: RVD versus Mr Anderson for the number one contender spot. The match was actually pretty good, with both competitors putting on a great match... until about 8 minutes in... guess who should come out? Yep, Eric Bischoff. Bischoff comes down the ring and takes the ref to the back, allowing Jeff Hardy to do a run in and his both RVD and Anderson with steel chair. He got the chair tangled in Anderson’s arm, and dropped RVD onto it... and the NWO won... That spot with the chair was probably the highlight of the show, but it was an a mere glimmer in what was possibly the worst Impact I have ever seen. My eyes hurt from the amount of times I found myself rolling them.

12 minutes of wrestling in a 2 hour wrestling show is a joke. When NWO first started in WCW, their goal was to destroy WCW... even though it was a storyline, that is exactly what happened. Now they’re basically back in TNA, it is only a matter of time before the same thing happens. I feel really sad about this, because between 2006-2009, TNA was by far the best wrestling show, now it is becoming horrible to endure. I find that I’m only watching it just in case they put on a decent Guns, Williams or Wolfe match.


You made that sign...

TNA Bound for Glory predictions revisited

* Abyss Reveals "THEY"

As we saw on Before the Glory, Abyss is to be fired at one minute past midnight on the 11th, so this will be his last night in TNA... or not. I predict that "they" will either be a) James Mitchell accompanied by some TNA originals (Petey Williams, Monty Brown, Chris Harris, Daniels), b) Hogan with NWO style beard accompanied by Scott Hall and some other 'legends', c) there will be an invasion by ROH... I don't know, I've not been looking for spoilers or rumours because I don't want to ruin it, a) would make the most sense though.


This was an absolute digrace. Who were they? Why Hogan, Bischoff, Jarret and, um, Jeff Hardy. This being 'they' stinks to hell and the storyline makes absolutely no fucking sense. This was so retarded... It's also obvious that Dixie has signed control over to 'they'. FOR FUCKING FUCK'S SAKE, THIS IS THE SINGLE WORST THING THAT TNA HAS EVER DONE.

* Team 3D's Announcement

Not sure what to make of this one. I assume they are announcing their retirement, but it might be that they are going to bring back something to do with the IWGP titles... I really don't know.


Retirement it was, shame.


* Ink Inc. (Neal and Moore) vs. Orlando Jordan and Eric Young

In my best Ric Flair voice: "Are you kidding me?" - this is meant to be TNA's flagship PPV and they put on a mediocre tag-team against a comedy tag-team. FFS.

OJ and Eric to win

This was a good comedy match with Ink Inc. getting the win.

Match rating **


* Kevin Nash, Sting and The Pope vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

This match has been building for almost a year, and this is best they could come up with? Joe versus Pope would be sufficient. FFS.

Nash et al to win.

1/2 right. This match was retarded, there was no reason to leave Joe in the ring to get beaten by Sting et al.

Match rating *


* MONSTERS BALL: Abyss vs. RVD

This will probably be an entertaining match. I really want Abyss to fuck RVD up (properly this time).

Abyss to win.

RVD won, the match was pretty entertaining.

1/3

Match rating **

* LETHAL LOCKDOWN: EV2.0 vs. Fourtune

This match will be a complete clusterfuck, some of the guys should be in singles matches rather than this War Games bullshit.

Fourtune to win.

Shit, I'm well off the mark on this. This match was pretty dull, the usual LL Wargames style clusterfuck. Would much rather have seen some of these guys in singles bouts. Found myself getting bored during the match at a few points, but was suprised by the finish.

1/4

Match rating **

* TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Jay Lethal © vs. Douglas Williams

Didn't like the way the strap was given to Lethal without build-up, but would like to see him retain to bring X Division back to what it was.

Lethal to win.


I got this, but Doug clearly had Lethal for three. See next Botchamania. On the whole it was a good match, always love it when Doug does his Chaos Theory, reminds me of a move that Zangief does in Street Fighter IV

2/5

Match rating ***1/2

* TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Angelina Love © vs. Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne vs. Tara (With Mickie James As Special Referee).

Hmm, difficult to call, can see Velvet pinning Angelina.

Velvet to win.


This was a pretty decent match, Tara won, which suprised me and Mickie James will hopefully inject some new life into KO division.

2/6

Match rating ***

* TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Motor City Machineguns © vs. Generation Me

Guns to retain, this will be a great match.

As predicted, this was by far the best match of the evening, the Guns are awesome and Gen Me are starting to look like convinving heels. I love this style of wrestling and this is what drew me to TNA in the first place. Sort your shit out TNA.

3/7

Match rating ****

* FOR THE VACANT TNA TITLE: Kurt Angle vs. Mr. A

Obviously pointing to an Angle win, and I'd welcome that, even though it's a bit obvious. saying that, I can see Anderson getting the pin on Hardy so Angle doesn't technically lose. This could be match of the year, let's hope there is no Bischoff bullshit.

Anderson to win.

This is an example of how to completely ruin what could have been the best match of the year. The ending to this match was absolute bullshit and ruined the event for me. FUCK YOU TNA.

Hardy won, with bullshit from Hogan/Bischoff.


Match rating before bullshit *****
Match rating after bullshit -*****

So I was way off with my predictions, but TNA were way off with their PPV. Without the bullshit, there were some good matches. The booking defies logic, reason, storytelling... I CAN'T EMPHASISE HOW MUCH TNA SUCKS BECAUSE OF THIS.

TNA Bound for Glory predictions

It's that time again, here are my predictions for Bound for Glory. I was thinking back to last year's BFG, and how great the build-up was, and then looked at this year's and realised how bad the build up is. Anyway, let's do this:

* Abyss Reveals "THEY"

As we saw on Before the Glory, Abyss is to be fired at one minute past midnight on the 11th, so this will be his last night in TNA... or not. I predict that "they" will either be a) James Mitchell accompanied by some TNA originals (Petey Williams, Monty Brown, Chris Harris, Daniels), b) Hogan with NWO style beard accompanied by Scott Hall and some other 'legends', c) there will be an invasion by ROH... I don't know, I've not been looking for spoilers or rumours because I don't want to ruin it, a) would make the most sense though.

* Team 3D's Announcement

Not sure what to make of this one. I assume they are announcing their retirement, but it might be that they are going to bring back something to do with the IWGP titles... I really don't know.

* Ink Inc. (Neal and Moore) vs. Orlando Jordan and Eric Young

In my best Ric Flair voice: "Are you kidding me?" - this is meant to be TNA's flagship PPV and they put on a mediocre tag-team against a comedy tag-team. FFS.

OJ and Eric to win

* Kevin Nash, Sting and The Pope vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

This match has been building for almost a year, and this is best they could come up with? Joe versus Pope would be sufficient. FFS.

Nash et al to win.

* MONSTERS BALL: Abyss vs. RVD

This will probably be an entertaining match. I really want Abyss to fuck RVD up (properly this time).

Abyss to win.

* LETHAL LOCKDOWN: EV2.0 vs. Fourtune

This match will be a complete clusterfuck, some of the guys should be in singles matches rather than this War Games bullshit.

Fourtune to win.

* TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Jay Lethal © vs. Douglas Williams

Didn't like the way the strap was given to Lethal without build-up, but would like to see him retain to bring X Division back to what it was.

Lethal to win.


* TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Angelina Love © vs. Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne vs. Tara (With Mickie James As Special Referee).

Hmm, difficult to call, can see Velvet pinning Angelina.

Velvet to win.


* TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Motor City Machineguns © vs. Generation Me

Guns to retain, this will be a great match.

* FOR THE VACANT TNA TITLE: Kurt Angle vs. Mr. A

Obviously pointing to an Angle win, and I'd welcome that, even though it's a bit obvious. saying that, I can see Anderson getting the pin on Hardy so Angle doesn't technically lose. This could be match of the year, let's hope there is no Bischoff bullshit.

Anderson to win.

Socko's Entertainment Review

We all love wrestling, if you're reading this blog then that's probably a given. If you like to read stuff about things on the tele, computer games, films, etc. then check out Socko's Entertainment Review.

http://sockosentertainment.blogspot.com

Review: WWE Hell in a Cell

Hell in a Cell matches are up there with I Quit matches and ladder matches as my favourite type of matches. Unlike the traditional cage match, the Hell in a Cell has become synonymous with brutality and career-shortening matches. In the spirit of every other PPV put out by WWE these days, the PPV was named after the gimmick – Hell in a Cell. I was hoping that all of the matches would be cell matches (even the submissions count anywhere match), but there were only two.

Match one: USA Championship, submissions count anywhere.
The Miz versus Bryan Danilson (c) versus John Morrison.

When this match started, I was disappointed that a) there was no cell, and b) that this was the first match. I was hoping that it would be higher up on the card and climax on top the cage, but no such luck. The booking for this match was odd; I don’t think that anyone has had Miz or Morrison down as a submission wrestler before this. Indeed, over the past few weeks on Raw they have been showcasing Morrison’s free-running skills. Saying this though, Morrison used a pretty cool looking Reverse Tarantula on the Miz pretty early on, this transitioned into Bryan applying the Cattle Mutilation. The Cattle Mutilation was correctly identified by Stryker, which led to Cole taking the piss out of the move name. This was then broken up by a Twisting Moonsault from the top by Morrison, a move which looks as awesome as it is pointless.
The match moved into the audience with Morrison getting in an Arm Breaker. He then put Danielson on a kind of box thing and pushed it into the ramp. There was a bit of back and forth between Danielson and the Miz whilst Morrison climbed up to the lighting truss and did a Cross Body from about 20ft in the air. The drop looked cool, but because Morrison was caught so nicely by Miz and Danielson, it was probably one of the safest spots of the match. Morrison applied a Texas Cloverleaf onto Danielson on the entrance ramp. It was at this point that Alex Riley got involved tossing Morrison away, this allowed Danielson to hook in the LeBelle Lock onto Miz, with the Miz doing a great selling job before tapping out. Cole even admitted that Danielson was the real deal.
On the whole this was a very good match, but it would have been much better had it been the Miz versus Danielson in and atop of the cell.
Match rating ***½


Match two: WWE Championship, Hell in a Cell match
Randy Orton (c) versus Sheamus

At over 25 minutes, this match was far too long. The crowd were flat, there were large chunks of the match which were boring, and a number of spots which seemed pointless. The match started with a collar and elbow tie up which went on for far too long. They went outside of the ring, Orton hit Sheamus with the steel steps and went back into the ring for the two-count. Throughout the match Orton teased the RKO (remember, if he hits the RKO, it’s all over) a few times and knocked Sheamus for a couple of near-falls. Sheamus brought the steps into the centre of the ring and many of the moves for the rest of the match utilised the steps in some way. There was a nasty looking spot where Orton Scoop Slammed Sheamus onto the steps for a two-count.
One of the dumbest part of this match occurred when Sheamus gave a Backbreaker on to his knee whilst standing on the steps. Using wrestling logic, I would assume that having the steel beneath his feet made the Backbreaker more powerful, erm, or something.
This match really dipped for about 10 minutes, with a lot of back-and-forth kicks and punches going on. The matched climaxed with Sheamus trying to give the High Cross/Razor’s Edge from the steps. Luckily, and thank goodness, Randy Orton countered and hit the Arrrrr Kaaaaayyy Ohhhhhh!!! With the magical move being hit, Orton got the pin and retained the title.
Match Rating: **½


After the match we had a small promo advertising the next PPV, Bragging Rights. Here we had a great WCW moment. With the possibility that the Nexus would be forced to dissolve later that evening, the graphic for the next PPV had the Smackdown versus Raw logo, with the Nexus ‘N’ quite prominent in the graphic. Essentially, WWE gave the results of Wade/Cena match later that night. FFS WWE.


Match Three: Edge versus Jack Swagger

This match seemed to come from nowhere. It began with a promo between Alberto Del Rio, Edge and Jack Swagger. The promo was interrupted by the Raw GM noise (what jurisdiction the Raw GM has over Smackdown guys on a PPV seems a little inconsistent to say the least), with the GM stating that it would be a match between Swagger and Edge, Del Rio skulked off at this point.
The match wasn’t bad, but the crowd really didn’t get into it at all. The crowd reaction was so flat that even the announcers tried to make excuses for them with King noting that the crowd are enjoying watching these guys beat each other up because they are both bad guys, with Stryker adding that crowd was recovering from the last match... yeah right.
Every time I see Jack Swagger wrestle, he seems to have added another of Kurt Angle’s moves to his repertoire. In this match we saw him do the Angle spot where he runs and throws his opponent from the top rope.
The match climaxed with Swagger getting Edge with the Gut-Wrench Powerbomb, and Edge getting the Spear for the win. The in-ring stuff in this match was pretty decent, Edge and Swagger work well together, but without any build-up the crowd really didn’t give a shit, which made the match feel dull and lifeless.
Match rating: **


Match four: John Cena versus Wade Barrett

Much of the drama of this match was diminished from the outside by the aforementioned WCW moment, FFS WWE. On the whole, this was a solid match, Cena and Barrett put on an excellent performance. Early on this match, Cena had Barrett upon his shoulders for the Attitude Adjustment, when Nexus came down the ramp to ring-side. It seems that ‘interference’ must be defined as physically attacking John Cena, this did not happen and Barrett confronted the Nexus. I was hoping at this point that the rest of the Nexus would attack Barrett, therefore disqualifying Cena, but WWE didn’t think to do this, because the match carried on with the Nexi at ringside. The WWE baby-faces then came down to the ring to beat down on Nexus and everyone left.
The crowd were pretty hot for this match, especially when Barrett kicked out of a top-rope Leg Drop and the AA, and Cena kicked out of Wasteland. The climax of the match came when Cena had the STFU locked in and Michael McGillicuddy ran in only to be tackled by the ref. Husky Harris then ran out of the crowd and hit Cena with a weapon whilst the ref’s attention was still on McGillicuddy, Cena was then pinned for the win. During the climax of the match, King and Cole were making out that the guys who came to ring were ‘fans’, though it was really obvious who they were.
I think that the highlight of this match was after the match had finished and the camera cut to some members of the crowd in complete shock. Children and adults alike were in absolute disbelief; I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this since Hogan lost at Wrestlemania VI. Love him or hate him (or as I do, not really give a crap either way), this was a pivotal moment in Cena’s career and probably the WWE for at least the next few months. The repercussions of this match are more important than the match itself, let’s see how WWE play this one.
Match rating: ****


Match five: Divas


Match six: World Heavyweight Championship, Hell in a Cell
Undertaker versus Kane (c)

Hmm, you may as well read my review of the same match for Night of Champions. Watching two old guys relive a feud from over a decade ago using the same move set as each other doesn’t make for interesting TV, especially as Undertaker is clearly hurting these days.
The match had one of the most contrived moments I’ve seen on WWE in years, Taker signalled that it was time to finish and there was a crash of lightning and the lights went out for a moment. Paul Bearer came in with the urn, and just as I was making a joke about green smoke and the urn shenanigans of years past, the urn suddenly flashed and blinded taker allowing Kane to get the win.
I hope to God that this feud is now dead and buried (geddit?).
Match rating *½.


On the whole this was a pretty mediocre PPV which was saved by two matches. The US Championship and the Barrett versus Cena match were the highlights. With WWE advertising Bragging Rights with the Nexus logo on the graphics ruining the impact of Cena losing, the reaction of the crowd meant that it was still a decent match.
PPV rating: ***

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT September 30 2010

Welcome to another episode of 'How will TNA fuck up this week'.

I'm watching the video online this week, and it's split up into a bunch of different videos...hopefully it won't get too confusing.

I'd say I hope they'll start with wrestling, but they did that last week and it wasn't great. Let's get this shit over with.

Vid 1

01:49 - Kurt v Abyss in a cage match...I always say this, but it could be awesome
06:06 - Fucking brawling again...it's so fucking boring...and they do it every fucking week
9:43 - That brawl was nearly 4 mins - that's as long as most iMPACT matches
11:11 - Beer Money v Dreamer & Rhino...in a lumberjack tag match. Can't wait :/

Vid 2

00:39 - Roode just clapped his hands to trick the ref into thinking there was a tag...except, THE REF WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM, and still let it count as an actual tag.
04:14 - And it devolves into another ringside brawl. FFS TNA
4:49 - Shit match.
06:38 - Oh yay, a conversation
09:09 - A woman in the front row just happened to have a copy of Foley's book, and Flair just happened to notice and grab it...FFS TNA it's so obvious that was a plant you might as well have not bothered
09:41 - Although Flair elbow dropping his book was kinda worth it
11:30 - They both just busted themselves open. Not each other - themselves.

Vid 3

03:16 - God, that promo was a fucking mess
03:47 - Straight from one promo to another - this one starring Bischoff. FFS TNA
04:42 - ANDERSON v JOE FUCK YEAH JOE KILL HIM JOE
05:32 - Ink Inc v Gen Me - I wonder if MCMG will interfere :/
06:22 - I heard a horrible rumour about 'They', and if it turns out to be true I'm really going to be pissed off.

Vid 4

01:26 - Pretty decent match...for iMPACT. I was surprised there was no interference
02:23 - I really hope Joe wins this
02:47 - And goes on to win the title
05:10 - FUCK YEAH JOE BREAK HIS FUCKING SPINE
05:45 - JESUS FUCK TNA WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FUCK WITH JOE MATCHES JUST FUCK OFF POPE
10:16 - YES PUT HIM OUT JOE
10:43 - Oh, fuck you TNA

The day Anderson beats Joe fair and square is the day I stop watching TNA. Let me know if either:

a) Bischoff & Hogan leave
b) Joe gets the belt

Until then, I'm jumping ship to WWE.

Worst Characters Ever!: Loch Ness

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been watching WCW Nitro, I'm into early-96 and the Cruiserweight division is starting to take shape with the introduction of a dedicated title.

Anyway, the character I want to talk about today is Loch Ness, older fans may recognise him as Giant Haystacks; but this isn't about the man, it is about the gimmick.

As part of the Dungeon of Doom stable (which contained other members such as The Giant, Zodiac, the Yeti, the aforementioned Kamala, and Kevin Sullivan), Loch Ness dominated most of his matches. He stood in the ring, turning slowly and not selling moves until he could either fall on his opponent or drop the elbow. Now I say elbow, it was more like getting a face full of back fat, if you've ever seen a stunt man jump off a building onto one of those massive inflatable pillow things, that's the kind of effect I mean.

So Loch Ness's in-ring skills makes Rob Terroid look like Chris Jericho, his promos were conducted by Mullet of the South Jimmy Hart, when he did speak his accent was clearly English, and his character was English and name after a lake.

I know what you're thinking: what about the Loch Ness Monster? I hate to be pedantic but the lake and the monster are not the same thing. It's like Frankenstein and his monster, they are two different things. This being put aside, even if the name of the monster is Loch Ness, he's certainly not English. For our American readers who aren't the best a geography, Scotland is not part of England - they are separate countries which fall under the rule of the United Kingdom (the clue's in the name).

Logic aside, Loch Ness left WCW quite abruptly due to illness, he then died of fat.