Smackdown April 29th 2011

Watching this with my girlfriend who doesn't watch wrestling, so this should either be the funniest or the most annoying Smackdown ever...we'll see.

LETS DO THIS

- Mark Henry v Rey...it'll be like watching a gorilla fight a stickman
- I still think Orton's stubble might mean a heel turn
- Drew McIntyre interrupting Randy Orton? It's like he wants his teeth pushed down his throat
- This promo is awesome...every time Orton tries to talk, someone comes to the ring to get battered...I'm cracking up
- Del Rio not making the rookie mistake of getting in the ring with him
- Only 3-on-one? This is Orton ffs
- Sheamus v Kofi
- Oh my god, JR really did a number on Michael Cole...his face looks awful
- I like Swagger's music
- Sin Cara v Swagger? They're actually giving him a real opponent? This is interesting
- This match is awesome
- Sin Cara won...despite the fact that one of Swagger's flailing legs hit the bottom rop while he was being pinned...cool match though
- More Kong teasers...JUST PUT HER ON THE FUCKING SHOW ALREADY
- Time for Corre's rematch...guessing they might actually get the belts what with Show going to Raw
- Nope, Show and Kane retain
- Khali on the screen...girlfriend goes 'What's that?'
- Rey v Mark Henry time...this is gonna be ridiculous
- Cool match...Henry was destroying Rey, but Rey has Luchador Invincibility and he didn't seem to give a shit...but then Cody came out to batter Rey and got the DQ
- Cody paper bagging people like he's the Beautiful People from 3 or 4 years ago
- Lay v Cool...
- Double count out in about 15 seconds
- Main event time
- Pretty standard tag match with no real surprises...but executed flawlessly.

Pretty decent Smackdown...Sin Cara and Swagger stole the show. No sign of Danielson :( Maybe after the PPV...

Zack Ryder - I'm a mark... woo woo woo!

There are few truly awesome wrestlers on the WWE roster: Danielson is up there, Morrison is getting there, Taker, Triple H, Alberto Del Rio... but none of these guys have entertained me nearly as much as Zack Ryder.

Judging by the way he is represented in WWE, we see him maybe once every couple of months doing some backstage skit, if we are lucky (only if we are lucky), we get to see him job to the likes of the Great Khali, it is easy to dismiss Ryder as a jobber, undercard at best... not so.

Check out his Youtube channel LongIslandIcedZ, it is brilliant. If the WWE are interested in entertainment, then, gosh darn it, this guy needs more exposure. Ask yourself this: what would I rather see: Randy Orton delivering a slow monotone promo about hurting someone, or watch Zack Ryder beat the Rock with his wrestling figures? (It's the second one, dummy).

The fact is that Zack Ryder is developing a strong fan base because he is making an effort to connect with the fans - much to the chagrin of the WWE it seems. He keeps in character, he's entertaining, he even keeps Kayfabe... but he's still on Superstars (a show which gets less viewers than his Youtube channel). There're a lot of wrestlers who use social media to destroy their images as performers (Matt Hardy and Hulk Hogan come to mind), but Ryder has taken the initiative and bolstered his gimmick.

I heard recently that at a recent taping of Raw in the UK, a fan had a 'Ryder = Ratings' sign confiscated by security. A guy gets over on his own, his shirts sell on wweshop.com almost immediately, but instead of capitalising on this unforseen success, WWE seem to have attitude of: 'we didn't put you over, so you are not over'. Maybe it harks back to the criticism of Danielson and Lo-Ki in that they are both seen as 'internet stars', meaning that if you have worked your ass off in the indies, wrestled in Japan and Mexico, you are somehow inferior to a model/bodybuilder who has spent six months in development in FCW.

I hope that Zack gets a bit of push, wins a few matches on Raw, gets a little bit more TV time, because he's certainly doing positive things for the company. I can see him in TNA in a bad tag team with Robbie E within six months though :( - don't let this happen WWE!

The Draft 2011 - let's take a look

In the first instance we have the main draft. This had some surprises and a TNA style swerve... probably to get Twitter going crazy. Here we go:

1. John Cena to Smackdown.
2. Rey Mysterio to Raw.
3. Randy Orton to Smackdown.
4. Mark Henry to Smackdown.
5. Sin Cara to Smackdown.
6. Big Show to Raw.
7. Alberto Del Rio to Raw.
8. John Cena drafted back to Raw.

John Cena on Smackdown would have been great... but wasn't to be. Switching Rey with Cara is a sensible move, a few smarks are giving Cara stick for 'botching' a few spots... not considering that no-one else on the roster could do what he does, fucking twats. Randy Orton as top babyface on SD could be good, Orton and Cena on the same show is always too much for me. Mark Henry will go job on Smackdown. Big Show on Raw? I find him boring, but the kids love him. Del Rio over to Raw is obvious, and great... this of course means that Christian will certainly win at Extreme Rules.

And the supplimental draft:


9th Pick

Smackdown chooses Daniel Bryan

I felt quite sad when I watched Raw and he wasn't switched. Smackdown has longer matches and hopefully this will give him chance to shine in the ring. DON'T DROP THE BALL WITH THIS ONE!

10th Pick

Raw chooses Jack Swagger

Swagger's been on Raw a lot recently, but I worry that he still can't cut a decent promo... he's decent enough in the ring, so who knows?

11TH Pick

Smackdown chooses

The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh to Smackdown

Draft Khali to Superstars damn it (yes I know it's cancelled).

12th Pick

Smackdown Chooses Jimmy Uso

I assumed he'd been future endevoured

13th Pick

Raw chooses Kelly Kelly

I'm surprised that shw was the only lady to switch brands... can't wait to see Kong squach her...

14th Pick

Raw chooses JTG

See Mark Henry above.

On the whole, a decent draft. Good mix-up with a few surprises. My predictions were pretty off. Let's hope that the draft gets some new interesting feuds going. Punk and Del Rio for a start... even if it means turning Punk face.

That Clown from Outta Town - WWE Draft 2011

Draft time. I don't think I've ever actually seen a draft before, so this should be interesting.

I actually saw a spoiler online by accident, so I know Cena and Orton are heading to Smackdown, but I stopped reading so I don't know the rest...not sure why they're sending two of their biggest stars to the 'b' show, but there we go.

LETS DO THIS

-Starting with a Battle Royale, my least favourite type of match...
- Daniel Bryan to win (yeah right)
- He was 5th from last to go to be fair
- Smackdown wins the first pick
- Cena...but I knew that already
- Cole v JR is the main event? I hope it's not the actual main event
- Here comes Truth
- 'Y'all gon stop with that What' 'WHAT'
- 'Y'all pissin me the hell off' Awesome promo, dude
- 'You know what?' 'WHAT'
- They keep letting him say 'pissed' but beeping the 'off'...makes no sense
- This promo is fucking weird...mainly because nobody is listening and just going 'WHAT' the whole time
- SARANARA ARIBADERCHY
- I wish Morrison had ambushed him 5 or 6 minutes earlier...that was terrible
- More Kong...can't wait
- Or Kharma as she now seems to be known
- Divas
- Cole interrupting the match on the mic...awesome
- Weird fucking brawl...the little brunette battering the big blonde, crying the whole time
- Rey's heading to RAW
- Lol, Zack Ryder...
- Rey's music is awesome. But, crap at the same time.
- Cody :D
- Cody's promos are awesome
- Kofi Kingston v Sheamus...interesting
- Woo Woo Woo sign in the audience...wonder if it'll get confiscated
- Kofi won...didn't see that coming
- Orton...so we're up to the point I already saw, the rest should be a proper surprise
- Cole v JR...Cole's probably going to win, but I'm sure it'll be a mess
- Best troll heel ever
- Cole just stomped on JR's hat...it's on now
- Looks like JR busted Cole's lip...didn't think they were allowed to bleed on WWE any more
- Flogging JR with his own belt...fucking hell
- Started as comedy, but it turned fucking nasty at the end
- The main event is gonna be a 'country whipping' match...what the fuck does that even mean
- Orton v Dolph...poor Dolph
- Actually...what the fuck kind of name is Dolph? Never occurred to me before, but what the fuck even is that
- Orton still with that Angle Slam
- Another pick for Smackdown
- Punk interrupting the draft pick
- Punk v Orton is gonna be a last man standing match :) No hail-mary RKOs, how can Orton possibly win?
- Orton's got stubble...I predict a heel turn once he gets to Smackdown
- Mark Henry and Sin Cara heading to Smackdown
- Wade Barrett v Rey Mysterio
- Rey wins, short match
- Big Show heading to RAW...but he's tag champ with Kane...
- Alberto Del Rio going to RAW also...more reason to believe Christian's gonna get that belt :D
- Teddy Long...I really don't like him on the mic
- Punk, Del Rio and Miz v Christian, Mark Henry and Cena...the entrances alone are gonna take about 10 mins
- Awesome Tornado DDT by Christian
- Mark Henry heel turns and takes out Cena
- And Christian
- Lol, Cena's been drafted back to RAW

Pretty cool RAW, it was basically all wrestling, (almost) no bullshit. The Cena thing was a waste of time, though.

I don't really see the draft picks as a big deal, if you watch both shows it doesn't really change anything significant...and half the time you get guys from one show appearing on the other anyway.

WWE Draft 2011 - predictions

It's draft time, and I have with Smackdown losing Edge, there really needs to a major shake-up.

Here's my suggestions:

John Cena to Smackdown

Bryan Danielson to Smackdown

Alberto Del Rio to Raw

Cody Rhodes to Raw

I'm predicting that Cena and Del Rio will win at the PPV and then the titles will switch brands... could be a great move.

Danielson is pretty much dead on Raw, a move to Smackdown to become a top babyface will be great for him.

Cody Rhodes' new gimmick is great, I'd love to see him on Raw.

Of course, the draft isn't such a big deal as it has been in the past due to a lot of cross-branded stuff on Raw.

That Clown from Outta Town - April 22nd Smackdown

Waiting for the videogame shop to get a delivery so I can play Portal 2...should be just enough time for Smackdown.

LETS DO THIS

- Corre stand to lose all the belts tonight...just in time for the draft
- Michael Cole trolling the fuck out of England
- Cody Rhodes :)
- Handing out paper bags to the crowd to cover their faces...I don't really get this promo, but it's awesome
- Rhodes and Mysterio keep putting on great matches...I'd kinda like to see a best of 5 series like the with MCMG v Beer Money
- Even the post-match brawl is good
- The couple's therapy promos are like the worst sitcom ever...worse than Gimme Gimme Gimme...worse than Two Pints...worse than My Family...
- But, to be fair, not as bad as a Mr Anderson promo
- Cole at it again
- KISS IT YOU PEASANT
- I wonder how many people around the world think that was really the Queen? I sure as fuck wouldn't recognise any world leaders apart from the Queen, Cameron, and Obama
- Who the fuck is Trent Barreta?
- Show and Kane about to batter a ginger and a dude with the most unrecognisable accent I've ever heard
- New champs...how the fuck is anyone ever going to get the belts off those two?
- Drew MacIntyre's music is still the worst song in all of wrestling
- Who the fuck is Chris Masters
- McIntyre is definitely a lot better than I remember him
- Literally 7 minutes of replays from RAW and earlier in the show...what
- IC title time
- Kofi didn't win :( Pretty decent match though
- Del Rio's retirement party for Edge...I'm guessing a lot of people are going to be pissed off about this one
- Fake Lita is awesome...but she does look like a sofa with legs. It might actually be the same fatty Pope had a month or so ago
- Del Rio's presents for Edge are awesome...adult diapers, a zimmerframe and a mobility scooter...Christian is about to come batter Del Rio, clearly
- I'm sure that promo sounded a lot funnier when they were writing it than it actually turned out to be
- Edge comes out with a mic :)
- Christian batters Brodus and Del Rio with a ladder, then climbs it and grabs the belt :) I really hope he wins it at the PPV

Decent show...Rhodes and Mysterio was the highlight, but the whole thing was great. I'm so glad I switched from iMPACT to Smackdown. I'm sure I'll get bored of all-WWE all the time though, so I might check out some ROH or something.

Anyway, Portal time :D

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW April 18th

I'm watching this week's RAW online as an experiment...the video's split into 10 parts, so I'm not even going to bother trying to keep track of the time.

I can't remember anything that happened last week apart from Edge, and the Cole/Swagger thing, so there's nothing I'm hugely looking forward to...

LET'S DO THIS

- They're in London :)
- R Truth
- 'Austen 3:16'...FFS, England
- Here comes Morrison
- Straight into a match for Truth's spot at the PPV
- The crowd do not give a fuck
- The sound's a second out of synch...really distracting
- FUCK YES MORRISON GETS A MOTHERFUCKING TITLE SHOT...this PPV is getting interesting
- Truth with some brutal looking knees after the match
- Truth smoking indoors...that'll be a £1000 fine iirc
- 'That's illegal' chant :)
- 'Think of the children R-Truth!'
- That was a really weird segment...the crowd were pretty funny though
- Evan Bourne :)
- Dolph's got a new haircut...looks...generic
- Quick win for Dolph
- Michael Cole to be knighted by the queen, apparently...I'm sure he'll just be taking the piss
- Miz taking over the ring and refusing to leave...not even slightly original
- Sin Cara about to batter Miz
- How the fuck does he jump over the top rope? He must have a springboard or something at ringside
- Pretty neat match
- Orton v Punk rematch :)
- New Kong teaser :)
- I cannot fucking wait until she shows up
- Divas
- Their queen is ridiculous...it's just an old woman...and she's tiny
- KISS THEM YOU PEASANT
- Santino time...I still can't decide if he's funny or if he makes me cringe
- Santino v Sheamus...should be over pretty quickly
- Orton v Punk time
- Orton with the Angle Slam again...kinda weird to see two guys communicating through wrestling moves
- SUPERPLEX
- Fucking hell, reversed the RKO into a kick to the head
- Really good match, shame the ending was a roll-up...that one match was better than the whole of Lockdown
- Obligatory Nexus run-in

Pretty cool Raw...and the main event was brilliant. Shame TNA can't put a show together this well to be honest...the talent over there is amazing but they're given fuck all to work with. In WWE, even the mediocre wrestlers look good because the show is so well made.

What happened to Daniel Bryan? Feels like I haven't seen him in ages.

TNA predictions revisited

I've watched Lockdown, and it was a mixed bag, but overall quite enjoyable.
"
LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains."

Short and sweet, mediocre match. Sting retained. Most of the stuff in the this match seemed to be double finishers... double Mic Check... double Scorpion Death Drop... double Scorpion Death Lock (this was possibly the gayest looking move ever).


"LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win."

This was a decent Lethal Lockdown, really entertaining, AJ returned, all good.
Daniels did a crazy jump from the cage that was captured beautifully... Matt Hardy did the same just as the camera was cutting away. Let's hope he's not injured...


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass."

Jarrett won, but it was great match. Angle is nuts, he took some crazy bumps in this and look like he nearly killed himself when getting powerbombed from the top rope and over rolling. Scary shit. Also, I'm pretty sure that Angle hit Jarrett with an RKO - probably because Orton did an Angle Slam at Mania.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win"

The entrance music was longer than the match. Mickie won, but her arm looked pretty fucked.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much."

Morgan won, and for a match between these two, it wasn't totally awful.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win."

Pretty decent match, loved seeing Pope getting a couple of muscle-busters... didn't like seeing Pope's bare ass... AND JOE WON CLEAN.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win."

This was a pretty confusing match, lots of spots, Bucks look great, little Buck won.

"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!"

Steiner made this match pretty deent by a whole bunch of suplexes, apart from that, it was pretty forgettable. Ink Inc won.


This wasn't a bad PPV, a couple of matches stood out, but there was a real disconnect with the crowd, not sure whether is was poor acoustics or something, but they sounded dead.

That Clown from Outta Town - Lockdown 2011

It's late, but I'm gonna be fast forwarding at least 2 of the matches so I'm gonna give Lockdown a watch.

LET'S DO THIS

04:31 - Ultimate Escape match...this should be awesome. Shame there's nothing on the line...Kaz is champ and he's in Lethal Lockdown.
5:12 - Robbie fucking E
08:14 - Sabin or Red to win
08:28 - Wait, it's tag style, not just a massive brawl?
11:09 - Suicide eliminated by Robbie E, didn't even use his finisher...FFS TNA
11:47 - I'm not sure who Suicide is now...Daniels and Kaz are both wrestling as themselves...is one of them doing double shifts, or is there a new Suicide?
12:20 - A Sabin v Lethal feud would be fucking awesome
14:17 - Red out to Sabin...Sabin to win
15:49 - Max Buck eliminates Sabin...uh...either Buck to win
19:57 - Robbie E eliminated, biggest cheer of the night so far
21:59 - Good match, but I feel like it could have been so much better
23:56 - Fucking Bischoff...it's a fucking PPV FFS just fuck off
26:38 - I think Bischoff actually thinks the fans are booing him solely because he's a heel...and not because he's shit on the mic...and his name is synonymous with utter failure and terrible wrestling shows
27:55 - 'We want wrestling' chant...totally agree
28:42 - TNA is a fucking shambles...if Immortal not having the belt is such a big deal, strip Sting of the title and give it to whoever...for fucks sake, we put up with all that bullshit for them to take control, and now they have control they don't use it...WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT...a FUCKING LAPTOP in WWE has more power than these fucking clowns
31:44 - Tag time...Crimson and Steiner to win
34:43 - A cage match where you're not allowed to escape the cage...TN fucking A
37:39 - This commentary is terrible...2 old men making gay jokes directed at Orlando Jordan...it's a sad state of affairs when Michael Cole is preferable to anything
41:41 - Just realised OJ & Eric are wearing Jimmy Snuka pants...someone's coming off the top of the cage :)
43:45 - Young escaped but didn't win (I DO NOT UNDERSTAND), dressed as Jimmy Snuka but didn't jump off the top of cage...FFS TNA
47:02 - Knockouts
52:37 - over in less than a minute...I'm guessing they cut it short so they can add a whole bunch of bullshit to the main event
55:14 - JOE v POPE FUCK YEAH JOE EAT HIS BRAIN AND PUKE IT DOWN HIS THROAT
57:20 - FUCK YEAH JOE'S BACK AT PPV MOTHERFUCKERS ABOUT FUCKING TIME
66:43 - COME ON JOE FUCKING KILL HIM
67:10 - Pope hanging off the cage with his arse hanging out
68:42 - Joe gets the win...was a bit more even than I was hoping for, Joe should be dominating the pope with ease
70:15 - Hernandez v Morgan...fast forwarding
87:24 - Karen interview...is it Kurt time already?
91:33 - This should be the main event...I might cut my losses after the match and just stop watching
93:10 - How awesome would it be if Angle locked the cage from the inside, and beat the living shit out of Jarrett for real
95:25 - Just remembered it best of 3 falls :D
96:32 - 1st fall is submission only...referee does a pinfall when Kurt has his shoulders on the mat. Typical fucking TNA
99:36 - Angle just reversed an armbar into an ankle lock...fucking hell
99:47 - First fall already??
104:10 - Jarrett's kicking out of angle slams now? When the fuck did that happen?
108:43 - 5 consecutive German suplexes by Angle
111:21 - Holy shit that was a bad landing...looked like Angle was going for a top rope hurracarana, but Jarrett thought it was supposed to be a powerbomb...Kurt landed right on his head
112:15 - Phew, he's ok...top rope Angle slam :)
113:58 - Top of cage moonsault...wasn't even close
117:28 - Screwjob. Piece of shit...there were 2 matches on the whole card that looked any good, and this one was ruined. And it means the Angle Jarrett feud will continue.
123:51 - The title match isn't even the main event.
125:14 - Actually, I don't give a shit about this match, fast forwarding to the screwjob
138:04 - Sting retains, no thanks to a bullshit ending
144:36 - Don't give a fuck about Lethal Lockdown either, fastforwarding to the screwjob again
168:24 - AJ's back Fortune won, their name now makes no sense because there's 5 of them

That was shit. I might actually not even bother watching the PPVs. The last 3 matches were all screwjobs. WWE is so much better it's not even funny any more.

That Clown from Outta Town - Smackdown, April 15th

I don't even like Smackdown, but it's gotta be better than iMPACT, right?

LET'S DO THIS

0:29 - Ricardo Rodriguez is a fucking weird looking dude...like a frog with a toupe
1:52 - Cole's on Smackdown too??
5:36 - Teddy Long's still in it?
7:04 - 20-man battle royale to face Del Rio for the vacant title...battle royales suck
9:51 - Kofi Kingston vs a brick wall
17:49 - Cody Rhodes...his gimmick is fucking awesome
21:23 - Kong teaser again...still fucking awesome
22:23 - Drew McIntyre...his music is terrible...possibly the worst music in pro wrestling today...worse even that the old MCMG music...
32:46 - That was actually pretty good. I always thought McIntyre was a bit bland and boring, but he was good in that one.
35:34 - Edge coming out to surrender the belt...it does all seem sudden as fuck
50:14 - Divas
61:12 - 40 mins left and already going to the Battle Royale?
64:37 - Christian or Cody to win
67:28 - Christian to win
69:54 - Mysterio pretending to be a turnbuckle...best camouflage ever
75:06 - FINAL 2 COME THE FUCK ON CHRISTIAN
78:22 - FUCK YEAH CHRISTIAN GETS A FUCKING TITLE SHOT bet he'll win it too cos of Edge
81:37 - One last 5 second pose :)
82:01 - And the entire locker room comes out to applaud edge

That was an awesome Smackdown...better than RAW, even. Although, the whole Edge thing probably had a lot to do with it.

I'm struggling to remember why I used to prefer TNA to WWE...

Socko Swerve Spoiler

TNA continues to baffle on Challenge TV. I've decided I can't fight it, its time to go along with the madness, become one with the madness, and enjoy the ride.

Now I understand where its going. I understand why Ric Flair claims to be God yet spends his time in a wrestling promotion and why Hulk Hogan can have 100% of the company but still have to follow the mysterious instructions of The Network.

Mental Illness.

I think The Network is all in Hulk Hogans mind. I think when he speaks to them on the phone it doesn't even have batteries in, like Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead when he find the only way to cope with the trauma, grief and guilt of his situation is to talk to his dead wife using a broken phone. The pile drivers, the powerslams and the kind of detachment from reality that leads a man to star in "Santa With Muscles" all indicate that the man is ill. This might explain why he thinks the bandana fools us into thinking he has a full head of hair; this might explain why he posted a Twitter video of him having a shit.

Is Eric Bischoff even real? Is he an “A Beautiful Mind” type flight of fancy? I don’t know if we ever see people talk to Bischoff as if he wasn’t there, partly because he’s always in Hogans shadow, partly because, as I say, I’ve become one with the madness.

TNA might just turn into Fight Club but you know, without the fights.

That Clown from Outta Town - 3 FUCKING iMPACTs

I’ve finished watching Derren now, so it’s time to catch up with iMPACT…3 iMPACTs in a row…fuck.

LETS DO THIS

01:26 - Starting with an Anderson promo…again
05:33 - Sting interrupting one of the dumbest starts to an iMPACT…possibly ever
06:35 - FUCK YEAH I FUCKING LOVE BRAWLING
07:11 - But wait, there’s more! Here comes RVD!
08:10 - Here come Hogan and Bisch…WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THEY’D GET INVOLVED
09:50 - Guaranteed screw job for the main event…great fucking news, eh?
12:44 - Shannon v Steiner…FUCK HIM UP SCOTTY…LITERALLY RIP HIS FACE OFF
14:09 - TNA…Total Nonstop Promos
15:50 - Jarrett trying to get out of his Angle match like a fucking baby
16:23 - Eric Young and OJ on guest commentary…I’d rather they got a match tbh
18:37 - I wish they’d commentate the match instead of making gay innuendos
20:43 - I haven’t bothered mentioning this before because it’s so fucking obvious, but Shannon and Jesse are going to split up and feud because of Shannon’s ‘disrespect’.
22:14 - FRANKENSTEINER…not the greatest match, but the FRANKENSTEINER made up for it
23:21 - What the fuck is OJ wearing…I thought he’d toned down his gimmick a little, but that’s just…fucking weird
23:31 - Magnus and Williams are back together…does this mean Wolfe is getting a solo push? Probably not, he’d only show up the main eventers
24:33 - Anderson is a terrible comedian.
25:24 - This ‘The Jarretts’ soap opera they shoehorn into iMPACT is terrible
26:36 - Gen Me are gonna feud…THIS SHOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME
27:41 - Straight into a match…no buildup, no feud, no reason to care. FFS TNA
28:30 - Fucking nice so far
30:49 - This is awesome…this is old TNA…please put these guys in a cage at Lockdown
31:26 - Max wins with some kind of Diamond Dust variant…that was brilliant, the best iMPACT match in months…maybe the best TNA match
32:41 - Angelina and Winter in a hypnotism angle…in fucking 2011.
35:04 - Velvet v Winter…I’m actually gonna check this one out
40:08 - Actually a fairly decent match…the hypnotism thing is fucking stupid though
40:41 - ANOTHER FUCKING ANDERSON PROMO WTF TNA
41:38 - I wonder if the wrestlers in TNA watch WWE…do they know just how bad this show is compared to the competition?
42:55 - They have to be trolling. There is no fucking way anyone could think this would make for a decent show. There’s just no way.
44:41 - Total Nonstop Anderson
45:49 - Immortal have come out to batter Anderson and Sting…RVD’s gonna come out and make the save, guaran-fucking-teed
46:31 - I FUCKING TOLD YOU
48:25 - The Jarretts again…terrible
53:30 - Angle time :D I think he’s fighting Rob ‘Steroid Monster’ Terry
57:03 - Angle destroyed him in like 2-3 minutes…the only 3 minute match that actually makes sense
1:00:14 - Up next…a fucking screwjob…er, I mean, the main event!
1:00:53 - Main event with 25 minutes left? This is gonna be as stupid as last week, I can feel it in my bones
1:03:50 - The bullshit started before the match did
1:06:58 - Hogan’s coming out…because the match wasn’t fucked enough already
1:16:30 - DANIELS IS BACK FUCK YEAH
1:16:40 - And takes out all of Immortal from the top of the cage
1:22:04 - These post-main event reactions are a terrible idea…the point is to have a fucking cliffhanger…if you carry on from the cliffhanger it’s not a fucking cliffhanger

That was terrible. Gen Me put on an awesome match, the Knockouts match was pretty decent, everything else was fucking awful.

WHERE WAS JOE?

Ok, next one.

01:39 - Here comes Daniels :) He appears to be the leader of Fortune now, after being back 5 minutes...
09:29 - The Network can hire wrestlers now??
13:12 - Well, that was a waste of 13 minutes...that's about 3 matches on TNA
15:38 - Hernandez & Mex Pac on their way to the ring
16:52 - Dreamer & Devon are now a tag team, apparently
19:12 - That was roughly 2 minutes...what the fuck was the point?
21:48 - FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHHH SAMOA JOE
22:13 - Joe v Murphy? if Murphy wins, I'm gonna be pissed. Even if it's a screwjob
23:49 - That was less than a minute, I'm sure...I'm gonna go back and time it
23:52 - 49 seconds bell-to-bell. 49 seconds of Joe in 2 weeks is not enough
26:10 - Knockouts...looks like the hypnotism angle is still going on
29:09 - What is with all the short matches this week...3 matches, lasting roughly 5 minutes total...in the meantime, a promo got 13 minutes
35:07 - This is all Anderson...boring as fuck
47:59 - Six man X-division tag match...I didn't realise they still had the X-Division
53:59 - This is boring as fuck...lame show
57:53 - Daniels v Ray lumberjack match...I don't give a fuck about it
69:20 - Terrible Jarrett promo that makes no fucking sense whatsoever
71:15 - Angle just flew into the ring on a zipline, like an angry Batman...that was fucking awesome
72:49 - The main event will be nowhere near as good as the zipline
77:10 - Main event starting, less than 7 minutes left...including the obligatory post match bullshit/interviews
82:52 - Oh for fucks sake, Anderson in Immortal
84:03 - And he's out...

Boring as fuck. Only good bit was the zipline.

One more, and then I can rest...

01:59 - Starting with Immortal...FFS
06:39 - Fuck this is awful
07:52 - What in the fuck is a mammajamma
17:06 - Not the greatest 4-way I've ever seen...the in-ring action took second place to all the storyline bullshit on the outside
19:06 - Matt v Kaz...not hugely optimistic about this to be honest
26:51 - Decent length match...that's all it had going for it.
34:26 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE FUCK EM UP JOE EAT THEIR FUCKING HEARTS
41:44 - Joe loses by screwjob...fucking TNA. Maybe I'll switch to Smackdown instead
43:31 - I'm so fucking sick of the Immortal music
50:30 - I'm pretty sure TNA are pumping in crowd sound effects...I can hear boos, but the crowd all look like this (click to enlarge):













Which is exactly how I feel watching it.
52:21 - WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO ABYSS' MUSIC FFS TNA THAT IS TERRIBLE AND THE OLD MUSIC WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT
58:29 - I've been watching the crowd and listening for a while, and I'm pretty sure they're pumping in crowd music...this'll probably be my last iMPACT just because of that. I'll still check out the PPV's, but I'll give Smackdown a try now...
61:15 - "...as of lately..."
61:47 - The hypnotism angle is terrible...why are they doing this in 2011? It would fit just fine in the late 80's early 90's...here, it just looks fucking stupid
66:12 - Fucking Anderson again

That was terrible.

Fuck.

TNA Lockdown - predictions

Hmm, I forgot about this one, even after watching the go home show on Impact.
Anyways, lets have look at my Lockdown predictions...

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains.


LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win.

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!

Not pumped for this at all. I usually look forward to Lockdown, but the booking on TNa of late has been pretty terrible.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, April 11th

I've been watching the complete Derren Brown over the last week or two, so I haven't seen too much wrestling...I heard about the Edge thing though so I'm taking a break from having my mind fucked with to check it out.

LET'S DO THIS

01:34 - Here comes Cena...
04:50 - Cena's claiming the Rock/Cena match will be for the belt...how in the fuck can you predict something like that...and what about the Rumble?
5:30 - Cena calls out Miz, Orton comes to the ring...
7:24 - John Morrison's coming out :) I'd love to see him get a title run
08:30 - And Vickie/Dolph...this is starting to seem like something that should have happened backstage
10:06 - R-Truth now? What?
12:38 - 5-man gauntlet...I reckon Cena is one of the first 2, pins the fuck out of everyone, Orton is last, Cena wins...
13:47 - Awesome Kong promo...FUCK YES
15:33 - Divas
19:13 - Not the greatest match...stupid screwjob as well. The twins switch places, so Eve marks their hands so they can't switch...so they switch anyway...one gets kicked out...and the other one gets the win anyway
21:09 - Sin Cara...he's got his debut already. I figured he'd do run-ins for a few weeks first.
21:47 - Sin Cara vs literally a jobber
22:20 - My bad, that guy actually is somebody apparently
23:36 - Sin Cara looks damn good...again
26:42 - Sin Cara's finisher is Kaz's old one...one of my favourite moves of all time
29:29 - Oh yay, a Corre promo
31:27 - Interrupted...thank fuck for that
32:47 - That was terrible
35:40 - Santino completely whiffed a spinning backfist...ginger fella sold it, everyone carried on as if nothing happened
37:09 - Swagger v King
39:53 - Cole is actually more annoying than Fonzie at ringside...I had no idea that was possible
51:33 - Edge time
63:11 - Fucking hell...I feel bad for the guy...wonder what's happening with the belt?
65:37 - Miz on commentary for the main event
66:15 - Orton's the first guy to the ring...I was way out
67:40 - Ziggler's number 2...guy has no chance
70:52 - Orton got screwd by Nexus...didn't see that coming, Ziggler actually made it to round 2
71:59 - R Truth up next
76:30 - Ziggler out, Morrison in...fuck 'em up, John
81:47 - Morrison out...Truth v Cena
89:33 - What in the fuck is is a double disqualification

Pretty average RAW except for Edge...Nothing really memorable except Sin Cara wrestling-wise.

The main event wasn't great, and the ending to the main event was terrible. There's no decent feuds going on at the moment. Although, it's still better than the 6 hour iMPACT marathon I'll have to do to catch up with TNA.

Edge retirement - thank you Edge!

Edge has been involved in some of my favourite matchs of all time. I'm not going to give a description, just watch and remember why Edge is one of the greatest...















And for some other memorable moments:

Edge - A tribute

Monday, April 11th 2011 was a very sad day for the WWE - Adam "Edge" Copeland has announced his retirement at the tender age of 37 due to a serious bone disease which basically means that his spine is growing narrower.

After an brief and unremarkable tenure in WCW, Edge made his WWE debut in 1998 as a singles star before becoming one half of one of the finest tag teams along with his friend Christian, they held the tag titles on numerous occasions and were pioneers in the now legendary TLC (Tables, Ladders and Chairs) matches where they won the titles twice.



As a singles competitor he won the singles titles on numerous occasions and is one of few grand slam winners. He also won the TLC match on his own several times.

One of the best matches I saw was versus Mick Foley in a hardcore match - brutal!


His wrestling accomplishments are vast, too many to list here so take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Copeland#Championships_and_accomplishments

Great rivalries include legends like Ric Flair, Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle.

I hope he continues with the WWE as the guy is a legend on the mic.

I have left out significant details of his career so that anyone who reads this might want to add their own memories of the Rated R Superstar.

Edge, I salute you.

The network

The Network is the worst angle TNA has done in a long time.

TNA spent a year building a storyline (don't laugh) where Hulk Hogan gets 100% control of the company.

Within a few episodes of Impact, there are shadowy figures in the background calling the shots.

We are led to believe that the network is Spike (not Dudley, but the network), it must be, who else could it be? The plot thickens, the network seem to have a say in the booking of events which are not to be aired on their channel (i.e. Lockdown).

Let's put aside the fact that the network are interfering with booking matches and signing talent.

The network angle can be summed up like this:
TNA are so shit that the network do not trust its writers and bookers to cobble together a show. They have stepped in to try and improve ratings. This is the angle.

If I was an executive at Spike, I would call up TNA and tell them to stop writing shitty angles like this... but then, the network would be calling the shots and the angle would be true... I can't win :(

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, April 4th

RAW time :)

LET'S DO THIS

1:24 - JR IS COMMENTATING AGAIN FUCK YES
2:06 - Starting with a HHH promo...and people say the Attitude era is dead.
3:27 - Fuck Rock v Cena...I wanna see Rock v HHH
13:49 - Cole v Lawler 2...
19:36 - Not so much a rematch as 'the feud will not die'...
25:12 - Cole is now starting on JR
26:22 - JR & King replaced by Matt Striker, Cole, and Booker T. What.
26:50 - Orton & Rey v Punk & Cody Rhodes...all 4 had great matches at Mania, this should be good
29:26 - Cody Rhodes' gimmick is awesome...he's all emo because his face is disfigured, but it's exactly the same as it was when he was 'dashing'...
40:49 - Pretty decent match...would have preferred Punk & Rhodes to win though. Punk always seems to lose.
43:11 - AUSTIN, MOTHERFUCKERS
50:56 - Miz starting shit with Austin? This should be great
55:32 - Miz v Austin? What
55:52 - Nope, Austin v Alex Riley :/
58:20 - That was a long-ass advert for their new reality show
60:38 - Del Rio...dressed to wrestle
61:39 - Evan Bourne :) Jobbing again, sadly :(
64:52 - Del Rio did that top rope kick again...awesome move. Then he put on the arm breaker, but it was too close to the ropes...Bourne actually touched them with his foot, so he had to move away from the ropes with his lower body to tap
69:05 - The sound cut out for a sec, so it sounded like Vickie was trying to say "Dolph is full of perfucktion" instead of perfection
71:07 - Ziggler & Vickie v Morrison & Trish...I wish they'd just have Morrison v Ziggler.
74:53 - Pretty short match...Morrison and Ziggler look great when they're in the ring together, but there's always a screwjob, or a mixed tag stipulation, or something. Can't wait till they get a proper PPV match
75:59 - Sheamus v Bryan...they postponed it to RAW...I hope this is fucking awesome, and I hope Bryan gets his belt back
81:10 - :/
81:24 - Ah well, there's always the Intercontinental Championship
82:06 - Sin Cara has arrived...
82:38 - Fucking hell...INSANE crossbody from the top turnbuckle to the floor
84:34 - Cena/Rock faceoff, again
87:32 - Oh for fucks sake, being reasonable about a screwjob is not interesting...
97:43 - Cena v Rock at Wrestlemania 28 :)
99:36 - The Corre come out to attack Cena and Rock...they are going to get eviscerated.

That was pretty good...not great by RAW standards, just a 'what happened after Mania' episode really. But iMPACT is still in my rotation, so overall it was pretty good.

That Clown from Outta Town - WRESTLEMANIA, MOTHERFUCKER

Mania time - can't wait :)

I've noticed that some people have uploaded just the Taker v HHH match to the download sites - I'm guessing that means it's either fucking brilliant, or someone dies.

LET'S DO THIS

0:37 - The arena is huge
0:56 - Singing, fast forwarding
6:17 - I really need to go to a Wrestlemania before I die
17:33 - Finally, a match :) Kinda weird they're starting with the world championship
23:43 - Almost 25 minutes until first bell...
34:59 - Not a bad match...started kinda slowly, but picked up toward the end. Del Rio pulled a fucking amazing move...Edge was on the top turnbuckle, Del Rio jumped up to the top rope and from there did a spin kick right to Edge's head...looked brutal. Never seen anyone do that before.
37:24 - Edge elbow dropping a car...
43:22 - Cody Rhodes' gimmick is pretty fucking weird...
43:55 - Rey dressed as Captain America...his Mania outfits are always pretty cool, his Joker one was ace
57:27 - Great match, they should have opened with that...Cody Rhodes is a lot better than I remember him, I used to think he was pretty generic but he was very solid here
60:10 - Regal is a better rapper than Cena
60:37 - RODDY FUCKING PIPER
67:54 - The 8-man tag was pretty ridiculous...it was about 3 or 4 minutes long...not quite sure what happened there
72:15 - Rock and Stone Cold face to face :D
73:19 - Punk v Orton time :D
85:08 - Punk just kicked Orton in the head, when the other foot was on the ground, and Orton was behind him...how in the fuck is that even possible
87:10 - Top rope superplex from Orton...perfect execution
94:34 - Holy shit, Punk went for a cross body from the top rope, Orton caught him in midair and pulled off an RKO...perfect execution again
95:17 - Really good match, Orton selling his 'injured' leg and Punk capitalising it...almost old school ring psychology

Part 2 (AKA I reset the counter :/ )

6:49 - Cole v Lawler time :)
7:49 - JR's coming to commentate :D Fuck yeah...good to have him back
30:09 - Pretty entertaining match.
36:26 - Cole & JR on commentary together again...fucking awesome
39:41 - Taker v HHH :)
43:49 - Taker coming out to For Whom the Bell Tolls :) Fucking awesome
44:55 - My bad, it's HHH :) Kinda Taker-ish with the lights going out and the lightning and all though
56:26 - The commentary is fucking sublime...it's so good to hear great commentary again, both TNA and WWE are garbage at the moment...TNA more so
82:47 - Fucking hell...that was amazing. They couldn't have done it with anyone but JR calling it, but still...what a fucking match.
92:23 - Vickie Guererro...what an awful way to follow that match

PART 3 (AKA fucking counter >:( )

1:14 - Fucking hell, Starship Pain to the outside...
1:50 - Snooki was actually pretty impressive...celeb appearances are usually just embarrassing
8:05 - Miz v Cena already? What happened to Danielson v Sheamus? I was really looking forward to that match :(
9:47 - Since when did the champion come out before the challenger?
15:00 - Cena's in his new red shirt...the way he always does that reminds me of Wall-E
17:47 - Cena's intro made even Taker's look fast
27:35 - The main event is the least interesting match so far
29:22 - Ref bump :(
32:36 - Double count-out...what a horrible end to an otherwise great Wrestlemania
33:36 - The Rock :) Let's see if he can salvage the last 10 minutes
36:54 - Rock restarted the match
37:12 - Rock Bottom on Cena :D
37:37 - Miz wins thanks to Rock...kinda dumb, why bother restarting the match when Cena wasn't gonna end up with the belt anyway? Still, sweet Rock Bottom so not complaining too much
40:00 - And People's Elbowing Miz after the match

Great show, the ending was miserable though. I could have stopped watching after the Taker v HHH match and I wouldn't have missed anything.

Wrestlemania predictions revisited

This year's Wrestlemania was certainly a mixed bag - excellent matches, throwaway matches, non-existent matches, bad booking... somewhat disappointing, but made worth it by some quality wresting. Let's have a look at my predictions:

"1 Edge (with Christian) (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Brodus Clay) Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
This has a lot of potential, I predict Del Rio will win, and I’m hoping it will be a clean win. At worst, this will be a decent match, though I worry that with the inclusion of Brodus Clay at ring-side, there will be some bullshit booking... or maybe not, I forget that this is WWE and not TNA, so I’m optimistic."

Man, DelRio was buried in this one. It was a great match, especially the last couple of minutes. Good opener, shame DelRio didn't win though. For a world title match on PPV a though, there was nothing out of the ordiary. I was very suprised that this was the opener.

Match rating: ***


"2 The Miz (c) vs. John Cena Singles match for the WWE Championship
Does anyone really give a shit about this match? I’ve written on this blog before that Miz is not a convincing champion. On last weeks Raw he said something along the lines of “I’m more imposing than Andre the Giant, I’m a better technical wrestler that Bret Hart, I’m a better athlete that Shawn Michaels...” etc. I’m pretty sure that the reaction they wanted from this promo wasn’t a universal “are you fuck”. If I were to book Miz as a champion, I would have have him say the opposite, that he’s not as good as any of these guys, but that he will keep hold of the title because he’s smart and will bend the rules to keep it. He could win by count-outs, getting himself DQed, etc. Granted he would lose the matches, but he would keep the title, which to him would be the most important thing. Over time, this will lead to fans really wanting to see a top babyface like Cena kick his ass and win the title. It’s an old school way of booking, but it would create a heel who is lamentable, and not just an after –thought. Should be a decent match though. Cena will win, and I am sure the Rock will raise his hand and Rock Bottom the Miz."

The booking of this match was terrible, it felt like a bad TNA PPV ending. Replace the Rock with Bischoff and picture what happened again - it's bullshit booking and you know it. This was a bad match, Cena was booed out of the house and the crowd hated the ending. Miz won because of a screwjob courtesy of the Rock. They then had the Rock bear the shit out of the Miz, just to make him look like the biggest pussy ever - exactly what you want in your champion.

"3 Triple H vs. The Undertaker No Holds Barred match
I can’t wait for this match, not because it will be a brilliant match (I’m sure it will be very good), but because it will hopefully mean the end of long boring promos from Triple H. Undertaker to win."

This was an awesome match, and was by far the best match of the evening. Taker won, but my God he earned it. This match was intense, the selling and ring psychology alone made this absolutely compelling to watch - the younger guys on the roster could learn a lot from watching this. The story of this match was fantastic, and the ending was brilliant, I even thought for a split second that Triple H was going going to win. When Undertaker kicked out of the Tombstone, I couldn't believe it. This was the only match on the card that felt like an awesome Wrestlemania match. Going into this, I wasn't sure how good it would be, but I'm glad it supassed my expectations. A classic.

Match rating: *****

"4 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger) Singles match with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin.
This is a classic Wrestlemania style match, and I can’t wait to see it. It’s not going to be the best wrestling match, but it’s going to be entertaining. There’s no way this can be as bad as the clusterfuck of a Bret Hart match last year, and the build up has been spectacular. Lawler to win, Cole to get a Stunner."

This match was far too long. Cole clearly couldn't wrestle, the match was funny and Michael Cole look ridiculous, but it wasn't promoted as a comedy match. This should have been a five minute squash match with Stone Cold stunnering Cole. Then there was a screwjob and Cole won. This will no doubt lead to a second match... I think this match has killed the feud for me. It was better than the Bret Hart match of last year, but it was still pretty bad... Booker T got stunnered at the end, so that was good.

Matchrating: *

"5 Randy Orton vs. CM Punk Singles match
This feud reminds me of TNA style feud, and I’m pretty sure that this match was meant to be CM Punk versus Cena. In basic terms, a heel wants to get revenge on a babyface who kicked him and his friends in the head, and had cost Punk his title. Unless this match ends with a double turn, I’m not sure who the fans are meant to cheer for. I will, of course, be cheering for Punk, though I predict a win for Orton... boo!"

Again, this was a good match, but it felt a bit like a rerun of the spots they did on Raw. Again, this didn't feel like a Wrestlemania match, but it was solid.

Match rating: ***

"6 Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes Singles match
The build-up to this match has been the highlight of Smackdown. Though much of the feud has been lifted from the El Generico/Kevin Steen feud, it has still be great and Rhodes’ new persona is great. Let’s hope they keep it going and never go back to him being “dashing”... because that sells PPVs, right? Mysterio to win, and I’m pretty sure it will be a very good match."

This was a really well-worked match, but again, there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was a very good match, but still it didn't have that Wrestlemania feel to it... it was almost as if they had been told not to steal the show... I really liked the finish to this one, but it wasn't a blowaway match.

Match rating: ***

"7 Trish Stratus, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) (with Vickie Guerrero) 6-person mixed tag team match
Another classic Wrestlemania style match. I can’t wait to go and get a drink while this is on. I hope that most of the match will be Morrison and Ziggler going at it. I’m sure the match will end with Snooki getting Vicky G to tap out."

Short but sweet, Snooki did some crazy-ass flips and got the pin on Michelle pretty quickly. Throwaway match, but entertaining.

Match rating: **

"8 Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan Singles match for the United States Championship
This is the match I want to see. I can see Sheamus winning, but it will be an excellent match. I can’t wait!"

FUCKING HELL - I was really pumped for this match, they were even advertising it on the pre-show, and then, erm, nothing. They'd apparently had it as a dark match, a fucking dark match! I'm furious about this. This was the tipping point for me actually buying this PPV. If they were injured, fair enough - but they weren't. If they ran short of time, cut the skits with Hornswaggle, and the video packages, and John Cena's choir entrance, or the throwaway Kame match... grrr...

9 Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Corre (Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater) 8-man Tag Team match
Who gives a shit? This will be awful. I’m pretty sure that Kane et al will win... and no one will care.

Short but shit - waste of time.

Match rating: *