Wrestling's crappest heels revisited - Kamala

After much pressure from Socko I have decided to go back to my crappiest heel gimmicks, this time I will be looking at "the Ugandan Giant" Kamala.

What can I say about this gentleman apart from the fact that he's about as African as an Inuit. Kamala AKA James Harris was born and raised in Mississippi.

Looking at his in ring gimmick, an African cannibal? Barefoot and loincloth clad he would show of some pretty impressive technical wrestling skills before finishing them off with a running splash. Many times this splash would be when they are face down and he would attempt to pin them in that state - at this point his manager would point out to him that he needs to turn them over, this would usually eat up about a minute of TV time - towards the end of his WWF run he would be assisted by the crowd.


An early match featuring the Ugandan Giant.

The mic skills of this guy weren't great, he had a string of managers to do his talking for him including Harvey Wippleman, Freddie Blassie and some gimpish explorer with a strange white face mask on.

Early in his career with WWF they would do promo's of him "eating" live chickens (they would create a situation with lots of feather and make out like it's dinner time).

His character was involved in quite an interesting feud with The Undertaker, this feud gave birth to Casket Matches. In order to hold Kamala's large stature in a coffin, The Undertaker needed to build an especially large one - this took a few weeks and was seemingly only worked on during promo's!

This classic promo features The Undertaker and the now legendary Paul Bearer letting Kamala know what's in store and that he should be a tad scared.


And so it came to pass, Kamala was sealed into the casket and his character became nervous and agitated. This was towards the end of his WWF career and he had brief a run as a babyface where the Reverend Slick would attempt to humanise him with hilarious consequences. On one occasion he was taught to use a bowl.

He had a trial for WCW and appeared once or twice but nothing really came of it.

He did also make a couple of comebacks in the WWE by taking part in the Gimmick battle royal which was won by The (legendary) Iron Sheik and made a couple of appearances on Raw.

Overall, he was shit.

Worst Characters Ever!: Disco Inferno

“He’s so cocky, he’s so cool, he’s just a disco dancing fool”

I’ve not mentioned it until now, but to mark the 15th anniversary of the start of WCW Nitro earlier this month, I decided to watch it from the beginning (I'm up to Januaey 1996). I’ve read a few books on WCW, and some wrestling biographies, so had a sense of all the backstage bullshit, but I realised that I hadn’t watched it until it had gone past saving.

I’ve been watching it with an open mind and, comparing it with Raw in ’95, WCW were actually putting out a half-decent show. The main-events were mostly bullshit, with the belt being passed every other episode between Hogan, Flair, Savage and Luger, but some of the mid-card stuff was genuinely excellent. With stars like Sabu, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Jushin Liger, Dean Malenko, Psychosis, Alex Wright, Konan and (the very underrated) Johnny B. Badd, appearing most weeks and putting on some stellar matches, it is actually worth watching. This is WCW pre-nWo, pre-Outsiders, pre-Bischoff as character; the show had momentum and energy and the formula can still be seen today in the better episodes of Impact. The commentary was pretty dire. Bobby Heenan made for an obvious heel colour commentator, Bischoff was the play-by-play guy and Steve “Mongo” McMichael also as a colour commentator. Steve McMichael is plain awful; during every show he sits with some ugly dog called Pepe and bickers with Bobby the Brain. In a match between Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, Eddie hits a Tornado DDT, Mongo comes out with the line: “Wow that move has never been done on this planet and if you think you've seen it before you have more rocks in your head than Heenan.” Hmm...

Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. WCW also had some terrible characters, and the one I want to share with you today is Disco Inferno. Disco Inferno is basically a wrestler based on John Travolta’s character in Saturday Night Fever, well, kind of. Mr Inferno would come to the ring dressed in disco garb, and do a weird wiggly dance whist pointing his hands and the most lacklustre way imaginable. Was he meant to be shit? Was that his gimmick? I would have loved to have been at the meeting when someone came up with this character. “How about a wrestler who’s a disco dancer?”, “I love it, let’s put him on TV”. Take a look at the clips and try and understand how the hell this guy lasted for 6 years in WCW, and won a few titles? The mind boggles, it really does.

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT September 23rd 2010

How are TNA going to disappoint me this week? Only one way to find out...

1:33 - At first I was like "Fuck yeah, starting with a match this week", then I was like "Oh, it's Rob Terry..."
2:10 - RVD completely unmarked...maybe he's secretly Wolverine
2:46 - So, the idea behind Abyss' angle is he kidnapped two staff members, tortured and branded them, and instead of having him arrested, or suspending or firing him, TNA just give him a match on the following iMPACT...what is this? What actually is this?
4:12 - I'd love to see Rob Terry and Rob Van Dam start a tag team called "The Robs". That was a lie.
6:11 - Who the fuck put this match together? Terry v Abyss? How did that ever sound like it'd be a good match?
8:28 - RVD does actually have a couple of bandages on...
9:26 - 2 guys = 'wall of security'
10:30 - Fuck, Bischoff...Bischoff and RVD...FUCK
11:44 - I can't wait to see Angle tear RVD's face off and feed it to him
15:53 - BOOORING, BOOORING, BOOORING
17:44 - So far, we've had a boring match followed by two back-to-back boring promos, both involving Bischoff...
18:45 - Followed by a Knockouts promo
19:00 - Followed by a video package about Shannon Fucking Moore
24:34 - They gave that shit the better part of six minutes...I've seen great wrestlers in shitty 3 or 4 minute matches, and they give Shannon Moore six to just flap his jaw and show some old photos? Fuck off, TNA
24:40 - Followed by ANOTHER Pope & Bischoff promo
24:59 - FUCK YEAH JOE v POPE...JOE'S GONNA KILL YOU JOE'S GONNA KILL YOU
25:27 - Gen Me...or one of them at least :)
26:04 - How come RVD get stripped of the title when he gets injured, but Shelley doesn't?
30:33 - Not a bad match, weak pin though - Enziguri followed by a roll-up is enough to put people away nowadays? Since when?
32:11 - Whoo, Wilde & Hamada are back :) 100% chance of Madison getting involved
32:26 - Another fucking Pope promo??
32:49 - And a Jarrett promo...
39:44 - Hello, Madison
41:03 - Much better match by Lacey this week - she was using much more basic moves, but didn't fuck up any of them. There was a botched hurricarana, but that's not exactly basic. First time she's looked like a rookie instead of a wannabe...definite improvement
42:19 - FUCK HIM UP JOE KILL HIM
42:33 - On the one hand, no way can Pope beat Joe, but on the other hand if Joe wins then this match is entirely pointless...I'm gonna say Pope to win by screwjob
47:54 - Nope, Joe wins :D
48:09 - Followed by another boring ringside brawl
49:24 - WHERE IS TEAM 3D?
49:40 - FUCK YEAH SABU v AJ IN A MOTHERFUCKING LADDER MATCH
50:07 - But first, another boring Anderson promo
52:22 - Angle and Anderson in the ring together...they were bitter enemies last time we saw them, wonder if they'll just blow it off like nothing happened?
58:16 - Yup, they're all buddy buddy and shaking hands
63:31 - I love Lethal Lockdowns, as long as Hogan/Bischoff/Flair stay out of it
64:00 - AJ v Sabu in a ladder match :) Surely not even TNA could fuck this up
70:30 - If this is No DQ, why doesn't Morgan just grab Sabu while AJ nips up the ladder?
72:38 - Another fucking ringside brawl
74:41 - And AJ wins it :D I'm supporting Fortune in this feud to be honest, they're all TNA guys and not interlopers...except Foley, he's got a good claim to either faction
75:30 - Followed by a boring conversation between RVD and Hardy...
76:39 - Followed by an OFF FUCKING CAMERA beatdown
79:27 - Followed by a bullshit Abyss promo instead of a proper main event
81:41 - I still have no idea who 'They' are...last time there was a mystery character coming in like this it was Judas Messias, so not anticipating anything great
85:15 - Looked like the sound guys botched the run-in...Abyss was just standing there for no obvious reason for like 30 seconds

Another lame iMPACT. Too much talking, no decent matches despite three which had potential to be awesome. I'm not even angry any more, it's pretty much exactly what I expected.

Review: WWE Night of Champions

It’s WWE Night of Champions where all 7 titles are up for grabs. I’ve not been following Smackdown, but for the Raw titles, I wanted Danielson to make the Miz tap like a baby and I wanted Wade Barrett to take home the gold.

Let’s do this.

Match one: Intercontinental Championship. Dolph Ziggler versus Kofi Kingstone

As you’d expect this was a solid match, they went through each other’s move set. There was no shenanigans, it was pretty much a clean win with Ziggler getting the Zig Zag. Every time I see Ziggler, he looks more and more like Jeff Jarrett, I keep expecting him to come down to the ring with guitar in hand.
Match rating: ***

Match two: Big Show versus CM Punk

I’m a big fan of CM Punk; the guy is awesome on the mic and amazing in the ring. It has to be said that I’m not a big enough fan to watch Smackdown though. Bring him over to Raw so he can feud with Cena or something. Anyway, this was the second match of Night of Champions, but for some reason it wasn’t a title match. Very bizarre. Before the match Punk came down to the ring and got a real hometown pop from the crowd. Punk did an “I love Chicago” bit then started laying into its residents – this was brilliant.
Luckily this was a pretty short match, it was also pretty dull. Big Show did his usual ‘giant’ thing and tackled Punk to give him his ‘Big Right Hand’. I always thought that a closed fist was grounds for a DQ in wrestling, but I suppose if it has a name then that’s okay... hmm...
Match rating: **

Match three: US title. Bryan Danielson versus the Miz

This match was great. Perfect length, fast-paced, some great submissions, great drama. Miz lost by tapping out and cried like a bitch at the end. I can’t emphasise how much I enjoyed this match and was genuinely happy to see Danielson get the title after all the bullshit of Chokegate (it’s a controversy, you have to put gate at the end, so shut the fuck up). I’m sure this will make it into my top ten matches of the year.
Match rating: ****½

Between the matches there was a great promo by Cena where he seemed to be taking the piss out of all the percentage talk you get on these kind of matches. Just watch it on YouTube if you’ve not seen it.

Match four: Divas... Lumberjills?

Match five: World Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker versus Kane.

This match went on for nearly 20 minutes and bored the hell out of me. Two big, slow guys (one who can barely walk these days); trying to recapture something that had gotten old over a decade ago. Pointless match, which was really painful to watch. I felt really sorry for Taker watching this; he’s just past it now and he’s clearly hurting. They both worked really hard, but it just didn’t feel good.
Kane retained the title, woo.
Match rating: *½

Match six: Tag titles: tag team turmoil.

This was basically a gauntlet match between pretty much all of the tag teams, including, erm, Mark Henry and Evan Bourne. This match was a waste of time, it was dull as hell.
Match rating: *

Match seven: Six pack challenge.

This was a mixed bag. Going into this match I thought that Wade Barrett would be next champion. Even though Randy Orton had been given a massive babyface push over the past few months, I thought him winning would be far too obvious... it was. This being said, there were some surprises: Jericho got eliminated with about a minute, Barrett eliminated Cena, Cena went mental on the Nexus guys with a steel chair. But, unsurprisingly, Orton got the win with the, you guessed it, the RKO. Eugh, I really can’t stand the “if he hits that move, it’s all over” approach, and I really don’t get what people see in Orton.
So with Orton the new champ, I was waiting for the Miz to cash in the Money in the Bank case... didn’t happen. I’m sure it will happen at Hell in a Cell when Orton/Sheamus will no doubt have a rematch... but Miz will lose.
Match rating: ***

Overall this was a solid PPV, there were a few surprises, but nothing major. The Miz and Danielson match was by far the highlight.

PPV rating: ***½

Randy Orton - I don't like you.

I'm absolutely sick of the predictability of WWE and by association, Randy Orton. Everything about him just infuriates me, the guy is dreadful, not a good champion at all. However, the WWE in all of it's wisdom have decided to make him champion and figurehead of the company

He's dull in the ring and dreadful on the mic, he really doesn't deserve yet another push. And yet, they still continue to book him into some decent matches against the likes of Sheamus, John Cena and Edge where he will take everything they throw at him, kick out of all finishers and start punching the floor like a fucking retard.

He'll then suddenly miss with his shitty signature move (the RKO) and then just as suddenly somehow reverse something by turning it into his fuckwitted attempt at a Stone Cold Stunner (an equally shit move) where he can stop the mightiest of foes no matter how fresh they are. It seems to happen on every occasion he graces the screen with his presence (or lack thereof).

As for his theme music, it sounds like the inane ramblings of a 14 year old emo brat whose birthday pony wasn't quite the right shade of chestnut.

Rant over, for now...

Booking Review for TNA Impact 09-16-10

Chris Wilson here guys, been gone for a while due to the move back to California. Now I had been watching wrestling throughout the move, just could not find time to write about it. So my first booking review in almost a month begins here at the 09/16/10 Impact. As most may know there was no TNA Impact last week(I thought it was largely due to the Saints/Vikings game). TNA....even from a booking stand point should have known that the ever so “venomous” IWC would be wide-awake at work on spoilers. And they just came off of a pay-per-view so I don’t see why they could have just shown Impact anyway. Well enough about there being no show last week; by my booking review, you might be able to understand what I’m getting at. If you don’t remember how I rate here it is for you:


I'm rating from 1 to 5, 1 being boring , 2 being lackluster, 3 being average, 4 entertaining, and 5 being must watch.










(Angle/Hardy/Bischoff/ Dixie Carter Segment)

Alrighty, Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show, and you can see Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle are already standing in the ring.(I’m actually starting to dislike the show starting off this way, it seems rushed) Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher come out. Bischoff congratulated Mr. Anderson for advancing . Eric congratulated both Angle and Hardy for their match at No Surrender. Bischoff said we would have a new TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound for Glory. Bischoff booked Anderson vs. Angle vs. Hardy in a three way dance.Dixie Carter came out to the stage and gave props to Angle and Hardy. Dixie then overturned Bischoff’s decision and booked Angle vs. Hardy with no time limit and the winner going onto Bound for Glory to face Mr. Anderson for the title. Interesting that Dixie come out and overrides Bischoff’s decision, that might have been a shot at the IWC and alot of others that thought Hogan overriding Dixie’s suspension of Ric Flair was stupid. It’s funny that TNA spent time putting over two guys WHO ARE ALREADY OVER. Decent segment, good to hear the BFG main event wasn’t a triple threat YET. I give the booking of this segment a 3 out of 5.

(Pope Backstage)

The Pope said he wanted to talk to Bischoff. He exchanged greetings with Kevin Nash and Sting along the way. Hmmm wonder what this is about, looks like the new WolfPac needs a third man. We will see where this goes in the coming weeks. Pope backstage segment gets a 3 out of 5.

(Tommy Dreamer getting gas)



Tommy Dreamer was getting gas when approached by a cameraman, who asked him where EV2.0 goes from here. Dreamer said they might just go home. Another thing I’ve noticed, these You-Tube style segments, I have kind of coined it as a Real-TV style. Although I’m a fan of Real-TV i’m not interested in seeing Tommy Dreamer get gas. This stuff honestly needs to be on ReAction or something. I give this a 1 out of 5.


(Samoa Joe (with Jeff Jarrett) vs. Kevin Nash (with Sting)

Joe overcame some early offense by Nash with a series of kicks. Things spilled to the floor. Sting and Joe paired off, as did Jarrett and Nash. The referee reached the count of ten but the brawl continued.The brawl continued and security tried, but pretty much failed, to break it up. Interesting booking here, It seems that Kevin Nash and Sting are the key to what I’m now calling the “Deception” storyline. The match seems un-entertaining on paper, but once they get to the brawl I start to see something. It seems like Jeff Jarrett is just using Samoa Joe as a soldier, you know because Nash and Sting know something that we all don’t know. I give the booking of this match a 3 out of 5.

(Lacey Von Erich/ Madison Rayne/Tara Backstage Segment)

Lacey Von Erich was in a towel backstage. Madison Rayne and Tara approached her, saying they (Madison and Lacey) had a tag team title shot tonight. Lacey said she wasn’t sure if she was going with Velvet or Madison. They told her not to hurt herself by thinking. Are we going to see the completing the reformation of the BP’s? When did Madison Rayne and Lacey qualify for a Knockouts Tag-Title Match? And speaking of the Knockouts Tag Team Champions(Taylor Wilde and Hamada), been anyway? All this(not all of it) will be answered later. But I give the booking of this segment a 3 out of 5.

(Kevin Nash and Sting Backstage Segment)

Nash and Sting said Jarrett and Joe would not even make it to “10-10-10.” Sting said the gloves were off and he was having fun now. I don’t know why but I can’t wait until we find out what is going on with these two. And what’s REALLY going on in TNA. I give this segment a 3 out of 5.

(Jay Lethal vs Douglas Williams(c) (X-Division Title Match)

Williams outwrestled Lethal early on and scored several two counts. Williams continued to school Lethal, working on the lower back.Williams went to the top rope, but Lethal countered with a dropkick. Williams came back and tried the rolling chaos, but Lethal countered with the lethal combination for a nearfall. Jay missed the Randy Savage elbow from the top. He was able to come back and hit the lethal injection for the win…Okay I don’t watch Xplosion so I had no idea where this match came from. I’m just going to assume that Williams dropped the belt to become more involved in the EV2.0/Fortune feud at BFG. Okay booking here, but another case of TNA not building up title matches credibly. I’ll give the booking of this match a 3 out of 5.
Lethal celebrated with confetti and in the crowd with the fans. I found this to be overkill.

(Abyss Backstage)

Abyss was backstage breathing really hard and loudly. He was also dragging someone around. Who was it???? I give this a 4 out of 5. I will tell you why later

(Kurt Angle Backstage Promo)

Angle cut a promo backstage saying Hardy was a great wrestler, but he was not a champion. Kurt is the champion. He is the best. He is TNA. He will win the World Heavyweight Championship at Bound for Glory. That is real. It is damn real. Angle is definitely one of the greatest ever, I like Hardy....but from a bookers standpoint everything Angle said is true. I give this promo a 4 out of 5.

(Taylor & Hamada(c) vs Madison Rayne and Lacey Von Erich)(Knockouts Tag Titles)

Madison Rayne, Tara, and Lacey Von Erich made their entrance. Tara slapped Madison on the ass and then they kissed. Tenay and Taz were quite pleased with that.elbow more effective.Taz talked about the primal screams of Madison and asked what it must be like to wake up next to her in the morning. He then took Lacey to task for not selling a jawbreaker. “You could see that was not going to work… For Lacey.” Lacey was promptly pinned.Madison jumped into the ring and screamed her head off at Lacey. Lacey pushed Madison down and received a beat down for her troubles. Velvet Sky and Angelina Love made the save. Lacey hugged Velvet as the heels took off. Decent match by and by, I knew Lacey would get pinned and Madison would turn on her. Looks like the Beautiful People has become full-fledged faces. Good to see Taylor Wilde and Hamada back and defending the belts. Good booking. a 3 out of 5.

(Jeff Hardy Backstage Promo)

Jeff Hardy said he was happy when it was a three way, but will do what he has to do to beat Angle tonight to move onto Bound for Glory. I was surprised by that since Angle didn’t look happy at the pay-per-view or on Impact about there not being a winner or the possibility of a three way dance. I give this promo a 3 out of 5.

(Tommy Dreamer/ Fourtune/ Brian Kendrick segment)(Warning really long as it was on TV)


Tommy Dreamer came out to the ring in a suit as footage of A.J. Styles sticking a fork in his eye at No Surrender. He said he was alone without EV2.0 and asked Fortune to come to the ring. All of them, except for Williams, came to the ring. Dreamer said he was sick of his friends being hurt and was calling a truce. “This is over.” Dreamer called Fortune the future of TNA, but he was just looking for a place to call home. He put over America’s Most Wanted and Beer Money. He said James Storm had more talent in one finger than Sandman did, and Sandman was one of his best friend. He continued to compare TNA to ECW when talking to Kazarian. He said he got Kaz a job in WWE, but Kaz left because he wasn’t happy. Dreamer said Kazarian would not have had a career or met his wife had he not come back to TNA.

He said Matt Morgan was supposed to be the next Undertaker or Kane in WWE. Now, the next big guy in WWE will be called “the next Matt Morgan.” He said he offered Robert Roode a contract in the WWE, but Roode turned it down to stay in TNA. Roode is truly a mixture of Curt Hennig and Rick Rude.He moved onto to Flair and began to tear up. He said “thank you” to Flair. He said Flair wasn’t into hardcore wrestling, but he was the most hardcore of all wrestlers. He called Flair the dirtiest player in the business but corrected himself and said Flair was the business. He said when Flair called it quits, it would be the saddest day.Dreamer said Styles made Dreamer say something he had never said before, because he was the best in ring performer in the business today. He wanted to shake A.J.’s hand. Styles asked for the mic instead. He said it was commendable for Dreamer to come out and say the things he said about Fortune.

Styles called Dreamer “all heart.” The crowd agreed and chanted for Dreamer. He put over ECW without mentioning it by name. He said Dreamer never asked for respect but always seemed to get it. Styles then shook Dreamer’s hand and said Dreamer earned his respect.Styles reminded Dreamer he was the only one to make him say “I quit.” He then said he did not need Dreamer’s respect or praise. He then attacked Dreamer. The rest of Fortune did not want to attack Dreamer, but they did when A.J. yelled at them to.Brian Kendrick came out to protect Dreamer, but he took a beating as well. He was disposed of to the floor and Styles continued the attack on Dreamer. Security came down but did not want to enter the ring. Styles then said Dreamer had his truce.Kendrick took the mic and challenged one member of Fortune to fight him right now. This segment was so long, I had no idea what Brian Kendrick was saying and Dreamer constantly mentioned the WWE and ECW. But he did a good job of putting Fourtune over, that’s all that matters.... a 4 out of 5.

(Matt Morgan vs. Brian Kendrick)

Back from the commercial, The match was already in progress. Morgan wrestled in his suit. Yes, that is a purple shirt. Morgan destroyed Kendrick and got cocky. He turned his back and Kendrick hit a kick for the surprise win. Afterward, Morgan said he wasn’t ready and wrestled in a $7,500 suit. He said he wanted the loss removed from the record books. He kept saying, “Kendrick.” He then put his head in his hands. I like the Fourtune/EV2.0 feud, but Brian Kendrick really?? I definitely dub this bad booking and having Morgan lose is even worse. I give the booking of this match a 1 out of 5.

(Pope Backstage 2)

Backstage, Pope finally made it Bischoff’s office. What, did he stop and take a nap on the way there? Bischoff wasn’t there but Miss Tessmacher was. True to form, Pope sexually harassed her.
Looks like the Pope’s going to turn heel again. I’m all for it.... a 3 out of 5.

(Abyss Backstage 2)

Abyss had two people hanging around in what looked like a dungeon. He had Janice, and introduced Bob, a branding iron with “10-10-10.” He branded one of the two guys. Oh god another weapon made by Abyss....hes gone totally monster heel for sure. For Abyss’s sake “THEY” better be someone meaningful.....I give the booking of this segment a 3 out of 5.

(Rob Van Dam Speaks Segment)

Tenay and Taz interviewed Rob Van Dam on the phone. RVD said he would be back and better than ever.RVD said he still considered himself the World Champion as did the fans of the “TNA Universe.” RVD said he would be in the Impact Zone next week. Umm.... so now RVD is going to be back before BFG....booooooo!!!!! a 3 out of 5.

(Generation ME Promo)

Generation Me came to the ring. They put over how they put Alex Shelley out of action. They were not there to pay dues. They called out Chris Sabin to hand over the TNA Tag Team Championships. Sabin beat the crap out of G-Me, but the two on one advantage was too much. They double DDTed Sabin while he was hanging from the top rope. Sabin held his neck. I’ve got to say Gen ME are pretty bad heels, they just aren’t edgy enough. Just because you attack people every week doesn’t make you a good heel....Those to are terrible on the mic. I give this promo a 2 out of 5.

(Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy/ Post Match Segment)

Slow pacing early on. Hardy had half of his face painted earlier in the show and all of it now. Taz said, “You don’t want Kurt Angle behind you because he will suplex the crap out of you.” Hardy’s focus was the right shoulder of Angle. He slammed it into the ring post. Angle also had dislocated ribs from the PPV. Angle whipped Hardy to the floor and then hit a slingshot high cross body. Mr. Anderson came out and headed to the announce table. Huge double closeline immediately coming back from the break. Angle scored a nearfall with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate (sort of) for a two count. Angle came back and hit what can only be described as a moonsault high cross body for a two count.


Angle applied the ankle lock. Hardy missed a mule kick but ended up spinning onto his back to kick out of it.Hardy went for the Twist of Fate and it looked like Angle got his knees up, but Hardy still covered him for a two count. Hardy hit the Whisper in the Wind on the referee.
Angle hit an Angle slam and another referee counted to two. He hit a second one and Hardy kicked out again. The show went off the air, but picked up immediately on Reaction, which starts right now…Hardy scored a long two count with the delayed dropkick in the corner. Hardy beat on Angle on the floor for awhile. Angle got it back in the ring and hit many German suplexes. Hardy kicked out. Angle tried and missed a frog splash.Angle applied an ankle lock. We now have two referees. They locked in dueling ankle locks and laid on their backs. Both referees counted to three.Eric Bischoff headed out to the ring as Dixie Carter looked on from her ringside seat.

After a commercial, Bischoff and Dixie spoke at ringside. Eric took the mic in the center of the ring. He said neither man had anything more to prove. He booked Anderson vs. Angle vs. Hardy again. The match is set. Angle and Hardy hugged to end the show.. Okay the ending was pretty interesting, glad they found a way besides a double countout to have it end in a draw. Only problem that I have with the results is that the tournament that they hyped up seems useless now. Good booking...on another exciting match a 4 out of 5.
A decent Impact, for some reason I feel like TNA is rushing alot of things. We will see where all these Angles take us on the way to Bound For Glory.

That Clown from Outta Town - TNA iMPACT September 16th 2010

We haven't seen any new TNA for two weeks as they didn't want to go head-to-head with the start of the American Football season. I've half forgotten what happened at the PPV except there's going to be some Hardy/Angle shenanigans, a Gen Me v Guns feud, and the Sting/Nash angle is still intriguing but ultimately makes no sense.

Since the next four iMPACTs were taped, Nash had a mini-meltdown online and is going to leave TNA...not sure if they'll edit him out of this and upcoming shows, or what they'll do, but either way Nash is leaving :(

ON WITH THE SHOW

2:25 - Oh awesome, they're starting with talking. Just what I want from a WRESTLING show.
2:42 - Bischoff. Even better.
5:34 - 3-way at the PPV. We all know Angle will win, but given the Angle v Anderson ladder match and the Angle v Hardy match at the last PPV, it should be fucking awesome anyway.
7:33 - Dixie reversed Bischoff's decision...3way is a no-go, rematch tonight, no time limit. What was the point of announcing a 3-way then reversing it two minutes later? Just announce the rematch, and give the TV time to a WRESTLER not backstage staff...
8:43 - Kevin Nash...this'll be one of his last matches in TNA...it sucks, he's been great in TNA. I remember when he was a non-wrestling coach for the X-division guys, and just did comedy sketches and stuff...good times.
9:57 - That said...FUCK HIM UP JOE
10:12 - JOE JOE JOE JOE
13:14 - FFS TNA...double count-out due to brawling on the outside on the first match of the night? Not to mention a Joe match? Can't we just get one decent match out of the way before you start fucking around? Just one. It's not much to ask for from a wrestling show.
14:44 - Just remembered AJ with the fork in the I Quit match...we saw Dreamer a few minutes ago, looks fine...you'd think something that graphic would have some kind of follow up.
15:08 - Lacey's back :) If it weren't for the fact that I've just had to sit through several minutes of shitty brawling, I doubt I'd care...but I have just had to do that, so it's good to see her
15:53 - HOLY SHIT AN X-DIVISION MATCH ON iMPACT...I thought they'd scrapped it altogether. Lethal v Douggie :)
16:44 - I'm half convinced Lethal will win this...he deserves another title run, but I'd hate to see Doug's reign end on a no-build-up, nothing match on iMPACT. He's been a good champ.
22:52 - Yup, Lethal's champ. That could easily have happened at the next PPV and actually meant something. Instead, the title changed hands...for what, exactly?
24:04 - Not that it's undeserved on Lethal's part. It's not just what happens that is important, though, but how it happens...and this was a bad way to give him the belt.
25:48 - Knockouts. It's not really a division when they only have four wrestlers, and they're factioned up so it's 2-on-2.
26:42 - Wait, Taylor Wilde is still in it?
26:55 - Wait, Taylor and Hamada are knockout tag champs? When the fuck did that happen? Awesome, no fast forwarding tonight
29:59 - Perfect moonsault by Hamada
32:06 - Wilde and Hamada retain...Lacey still looks inexperienced, but she's definitely improved since she started in TNA
34:47 - Tommy Dreamer in a suit??
35:28 - Not a scratch on that eye
39:54 - Christ, the X-Division title match was 7 minutes, all this fucking talking is already 5 and it's only just getting started
44:28 - He's never going to stop talking
48:49 - 14 minutes, 2 soliloquies, and they're going to end the segment with a pointless and unprovoked beatdown. FFS TNA. That's as long as 2 X-Division title matches...
51:09 - Jesus Christ, that segment was nearly 20 minutes...what a waste of time
52:14 - They follow that utterly shit segment with Kendrick vs Morgan?? FFS. It's like they don't want viewers.
54:50 - Morgan should change his finisher to a powerbomb...it fits his moveset and it'd look awesome
57:48 - RVD speaks. Bet there's not a scratch on him.
58:8 - What a fucking stupid promo...Abyss has kidnapped 2 crew members, set up a torture dungeon backstage, and they've got a cameraman on the scene, they're broadcasting 'live', and they're not going to send any security or anything...how is that even remotely plausible?
5:38 - And now he's branding people - this is fucking ridiculous
60:53 - RVD's on the phone...way to swerve his non-injury
61:54 - They're showing pics of RVD with the belt...Hogan is in every single one, except the last one which is a closeup...FFS TNA
63:47 - RVD's in the iMPACT Zone next week...wonder how he'll look
63:10 - Finally, something I actually give a fuck about...Gen Me v Guns :)
68:09 - That promo was highlight of the show so far, sadly
72:03 - So, the last match was 20 mins + 2 x 5 mins overtime = 30 mins with no winner...this is a no-time limit match, there must be a winner, and they give it 10 mins. Unless this match concludes on Reaction, FUCK THIS SHIT
78:23 - COMMERCIAL BREAK? COMMERCIAL FUCKING BREAK? YOU GIVE TOMMY DREAMER'S SHITTY FORTUNE PROMO NEARLY 20 UNINTERRUPTED MINUTES, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE THE REMATCH TO THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR PPV 10 WITHOUT PUTTING AN ADVERT IN THERE? FUCK THIS SHIT
80:30 - I don't know what that move was, I don't know what it was meant to be, but it looked fucking cool
82:17 - Ref bump. Can't TNA do anything right?

Match didn't finish, it's going to end on Reaction.

I really don't want to watch Reaction, and I resent TNA for trying to trick me into watching it.

Fuck it, I'm just gonna google video search for the match...

5:56 - 2 refs in the ring, I smell yet more shenanigans
6:29 - Double pin. This is so fucking stupid.
7:27 - Hardy's shoulders weren't even down...Angle's foot was under him. That makes this whole thing even more stupid and pointless.
7:35 - Bischoff. Oh my god you suck TNA.

3-way is back on. The whole thing was a totally pointless ruse to get people to watch Reaction. The main event of the main show was nothing more than a bait-and-switch for their 'C' show. It's like they hate having fans.

If they'd just make Reaction worth watching, people would watch it. Making a quality show will get you better ratings than all the tricks and gimmicks in the world.

Pretty boring iMPACT, the highlight was the Gen Me promo even though it was nothing particularly interesting, best match was the Knockouts which is crazy, and the way the main event played out actually insulted the fans' intelligence. I'd be outraged, but the show as a whole was too boring for me to give a fuck about it.

I actually don't care any more. I expect a disaster every week and they never disappoint. I ought to switch to RAW as the wrestling's much better, but for some reason I can't get into it. Maybe because all the wrestlers look more like Action Man dolls than human beings, maybe because the promos are so staged and wooden...maybe it's because TNA's roster is far better and if they booked it properly it'd blow RAW out of the water (imo). I dunno.

DPW - Harehills WMC

What can I say? This was an awesome occasion.

Myself and Socko were present at the August event at Morley town hall and this time we were joined by a chap who occasionally goes by the name of Duke Punchingham - a great time was had by all.

Dynamic Pro Wrestling (DPW) is a small company based in Yorkshire and they have been going for around 30 months now and it's not exactly big but the wrestlers always seem to put on a great show and don't care that they are playing in front of a few dozen people as long as the banter is flowing and cheers are to be heard - This, This is wrestling.

I'm still wrestling (no pun intended) with the names of many of their stars, but here follows an account of the main event - The Juice CJ Banks defending his DPW British Heavyweight Title against the Mexican sensation, El Ligero.

The match started at a sizzling pace with El Ligero leading the way showing off some of his blistering speed and high flying moves. The Juice however showed that he's indeed no slouch by not allowing this torrent of abuse to stop him from getting up and fighting back. It wasn't long before The Juice had to regroup by taking a little time-out outside the ring - this was a perfect way to take the pace out of the bout, or so you would think...

El Ligero managed to get onto the apron and managed to hit a very impressive suicide dive onto the hard concrete floor. The bout then continued outside the ring as the ref fought long and hard to keep some sort of order by following them outside as El Ligero was happy to use anything to hand to get the advantage, ranging from boxes to children's inflatables and bin lids as the fight escalated towards the back of the room and in front of the bar. Shortly after that, Ligero asserted his dominance of the match by hitting a very impressive high cross body from the room's DJ booth!

Shortly after this, the bout returned to the ring where The Juice was able to reverse an attack from Ligero and finally show why he is the champ - he was able to slowly break down Ligero with a series of suplexes and holds that demonstrated that the art of technical wrestling is alive and well.

Ligero then started to get back into the fight and got things back to a pace that suits him by hitting Juice with a series of fast attacks but something got in his way - the ref...

While the ref was down Ligero was able to hit back with a super kick followed by a top rope splash for what should have been a very impressive three count, but Ligero didn't realise that the ref was still down...

Juice was down and seemingly out but so was the ref. Ligero knew that he couldn't win the title with an out cold ref so he attempted to help him - at the point Juice was back on his feet and had his title belt in hand and... you guessed it, nailed him with it. Juice wasn't finished, he went up to the top rope and hit a great frog splash then covered Ligero to get a (slow) 1-2-3.

This was a great match and showed just what the wrestlers of DPW can do, I would urge anyone to give them the support that they both need and deserve.

Dynamic Pro Wrestling really is the future of British wrestling and I wouldn't be surprised if some of these people go on to bigger if not better things on the other side of the pond.

That Clown from Outta Town - TNA No Surrender 2010

In non-TNA news, I just found out Senshi won NXT - awesome. I kinda wish I'd watched it now. I hope he ends up on RAW.

I'm only really watching this to see the Doug v Sabu match, and Rhino v Abyss.

4:40 - No London Brawling :(
4:50 - FUCK YEAH GEN ME v GUNS AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IT'S PPV FUCK YES THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME
7:44 - Pretty good technical wrestling...didn't expect that tbh
17:32 - The match is pretty good. Feels a little...disjointed, can't put my finger on it. I don't know the deal with London Brawling but I'm guessing they prepared this at short notice.
19:40 - Guns win, no surprises there. The more I think about it, the more I think they just wrestled the match they were going to do with London Brawling, and added a bunch of Gen Me spots. Think about it, starting with technical wrestling is Wolfe's calling card...and then isolating a body part and working it over? Couldn't be more Wolfe if you tried.
21:35 - And that DDT off the apron is Wolfe's move, except he does it off the turnbuckle...they kept the exact same match, kept the exact same shenanigans, but just switched out the teams. It couldn't be more obvious. Decent match though, but that explains why it felt so weird to watch...it's like watching one wrestler do another's move set, it just looks weird.
26:17 - Sabu v Doug already. Talk about peaking early.
31:20 - It's No-DQ?
32:37 - Botchamania special from Sabu
33:14 - Oh, it's not No-DQ...nobody told Sabu
35:58 - Sabu fucks up again
38:03 - And fucks up the springboard
39:06 - Wow, Douggie won :) I'm guessing this'll be the start of a feud though, that was enough of a weapons match to justify a proper No-DQ
41:40 - Knockouts, fast forwarding
48:50 - Wow, Velvet won...I guess my predictions are totally fucked, I'm like 0 for 2 so far
50:19 - Now it's Rhino v Abyss...after this, it's only shit I don't care about.
50:58 - Oh yeah, we find out who 'They' are tonight...I bet it's someone shit.
52:30 - Oh wait, I got the dates wrong, we don't find out about 'They' till Bound For Glory...Rhino might win this then.
53:48 - This match is clearly going back to the ring...they wouldn't have filled it with weapons just to not use them
54:14 - Back in the iMPACT zone, surprise surprise
1:01:04 - Janice time
1:01:54 - This is way less extreme than I was expecting
1:03:43 - Game over, Abyss wins...really tame match, I was expecting blood, fire, stage dives, barbed wire, glass, thumbtacks...I got balsa wood, a tin foil dustbin and a security barrier. Kinda anti-climactic.
1:05:55 - JOE JOE JOE JOE
1:07:38 - "I think they're playing back office politics, if you know what I mean. And it's not healthy..." I really hope you're not saying what I think you're saying, Jeff
1:09:14 - I really hope Joe heel turns on Jarrett. I'm enjoying this angle, it makes no sense and I've got no idea what's going on, but for some reason I'm loving it. I guess any time you have a lot of Sting and Nash on the mic, good things are gonna happen. Joe, Sting and Nash sounds like a pretty decent faction to me.
1:10:23 - I like Jarrett's music. One of my favourite TNA themes
1:11:09 - JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE
1:11:23 - TNA doesn't have a roster, it just has a list of wrestlers Joe hasn't killed yet.
1:13:35 - FUCK HIM UP JOE
1:13:55 - Jarrett fucks up the punch...this event is gonna get its own Botchamania at this rate
1:14:33 - No iMPACT for 2 weeks :(
1:19:03 - Joe killed Sting...I still hope Nash and Sting recruit him though
1:20:10 - AJ v Tommy...I'm not sure how this is going to go down...I hope AJ wins, although if it's not a title match that basically means Dreamer will definitely win
1:32:14 - This is actually a pretty good match
1:39:58 - What the fuck is Dreamer wearing?
1:41:40 - Fucking hell that was brutal...what a fucking awesome match though, I wasn't really looking forward to this one, but wow...both guys were great
1:43:48 - Over an hour for the last 2 matches?
1:44:08 - Angle v Hardy isn't the main event? Eh?
1:49:10 - Why bother even chanting for Hardy? You're setting yourself up for a fall.
1:50:15 - Whoa, you don't see Angle pull off a powerbomb very often...he should do it more, it looked like he actually hurt him
1:52:57 - Even Hardy's fucking up tonight...
1:55:28 - The elevation on that Angle Slam was awesome
1:57:48 - Swanton from the top turnbuckle to the floor - fucking hell
2:01:39 - Kurt is kicking out of death tonight
2:07:37 - Shenanigans :(
2:08:16 - Oh god, Bischoff...why did they have to screw up this awesome match? Why not pull this shit when the Knockouts are on?
2:10:44 - Yeah, don't bother selling that leg injury Jeff
2:14:58 - This match is brilliant. Not even Bischoff getting involved can fuck it up. How the hell is Pope v Anderson going to top this? Hint: It won't
2:20:12 - 30 minute match and still no winner
2:22:14 - You have to be shitting me...Fucking Bishchoff
2:23:19 - That was absolutely fucking shocking. What an awesome match, and no winner. Fucking disgraceful, TNA.
2:26:03 - Crap promo, Pope.
2:29:21 - I feel bad for Jeff and Angle...they both put on outstanding performances, and the match will be forgotten as a Bischoff bullshit shenanigans match. FFS TNA
2:30:52 - I wouldn't be surprised if they make it a 3-way with the winner of this match, Hardy wins but doesn't pin Kurt, Kurt doesn't quit because he wasn't beaten.
2:32:55 - How can anyone care about this match after the travesty we just witnessed? Can anyone honestly say they give a fuck what happens here?
2:35:35 - Anderson stealing moves from Amazing Red...that was pretty cool
2:39:51 - Pretty boring match so far
2:45:59 - Anderson: "Block this...block it" *Pope blocks*....man this PPV has been one fuckup after another
2:46:47 - Anderson gets a title shot. Sigh.
2:47:34 - Not the greatest main event...match of the night was probably Kurt v Hardy, with AJ v Dreamer second.

Decent PPV, better than recent iMPACTs. A couple of great matches in there, no really bad ones. A few overachievers, a few underachievers. TNA once again shows that if the booking were as good as the in-ring talent, TNA would be one of the best wrestling companies of all time.

Ok, let's take a look at those predictions.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Nope, Velvet managed to beat the woman who single handedly retired Tara and Roxxi. WTF.

0:1

Rhino vs. Abyss

This match was a bit of a letdown. I was expecting it to be way, way more extreme - there wasn't even any blood. And when was the last time Abyss was in a No-DQ type match where he didn't use either thumbtacks, glass, or both? He did get the win, though.

1:1

Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu

This match was a weird one...it's like they wanted it to be No-DQ, but it wasn't...but they still used a bunch of weapons anyway. It didn't really make sense...but Douggie won, that's the main thing :)

1:2

Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

This was a pretty decent match, Joe and Sting were particularly good. I always used to see Sting as an over-the-hill guy who was only in TNA to get a paycheck and draw a crowd with his name, but he's actually brilliant. I care about his angles even if they make no sense and I have no idea what's going on, or even who is the good guy and the bad guy. He makes it seem like it matters what happens, even when (like tonight) it really doesn't. He didn't win though...

1:3

A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

Much better match than I expected, both guys were great, the match was brutal. I think the ending was probably the most graphic thing I've ever seen in wrestling, and I've watched no-rope barbed wire exploding ring matches. Hugely impressed with both guys. AJ won too, which is nice.

2:3

The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling

Didn't happen. Rumour has it Wolfe picked up an injury and couldn't compete. The replacement match was pretty weird, it seemed like Gen Me were trying to wrestle the same match that London Brawling would have wrestled, even seeming to copy their wrestling style...seemed a bit off because of it. Anyway, doesn't count towards the predictions.

2:3

Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero

Match was decent enough, nothing special though. Anderson got the win.

3:3

Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy

Angle didn't win. It was a no-contest draw. It's a surprising result, but given how amazing the match was it's a slap in the face. Angle suffered a dislocated rib during the match when Hardy did the swanton to the floor, which makes it an even more amazing performance.

I've also found out that Hardy's next court date is this week - so we might not be seeing him for a while after this. This match was a good sendoff if he does get put away.

I'm not counting this towards the predictions, because of the stupid ending to the match. Besides, 3.5:3.5 looks ridiculous.

3:3

Overall, I was about as good at predicting this PPV as flipping a coin.

Socko's TNA No Surrender predictions revisited

It's that time again, let's see how I did:

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

I predict Velvet will win. There will be some interference by Tara, but this will be stopped by Angelina, giving Velvet the win and reigniting the Tara/Angelina feud.

1/1 - On the money on this one. This wasn't a bad match for these two and I quite like Madison Rayne's new ring gear. Also good to see original BP back together, Velvet and Angelina are pretty witty when they're bouncing off each other in promos.

Rhino vs. Abyss

This has the postential to be a pretty nasty match. No DQ, falls count anywhere, could be messy. Abyss to win.

This match supassed my expectations. When it began, I found the backstage brawling to be a bit dull, but the rest of the match was pretty decent. I particularly enjoyed seeing Rhino run into a guard rail. Ouch!

Abyss won, that's 2/2

Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu

This match seems to have come from nowhere. I like Doug and Sabu in equal measures (actually, I prefer Sabu from about 13 years ago), but I think Sabu will win.

I got this one wrong, but I'm glad I was, Doug Williams is one of my favourites in TNA at the moment. This match was pretty good, some cool stuff with tables and chairs as you'd expect from Sabu, good to see this with Doug's style.

2/3

Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

Who cares? I mean, what's going to happen? What's a stake? Who are the good guys and bad guys? What are they fighting about? Joe and Jarrett to win.

As expected, Joe and Jarrett won AND NOTHING WAS EXPLAINED OR ELABORATED UPON. Joe was on fire and stopped this one from being a stinker. Good one, Joe. My theory about this whole Sting/Jarrett feud is actually going to come to a head at Bound for Glory - I hope I'm wrong about what I think's going to happen. Hogan will come out, donning his black beard look and say that the nWo have taken over TNA, that it was all a big deception, blah blah. BFG is going to be at Dayyona Beach, the same place that Hogan turned heel and the nWo was born... I really hope I'm wrong.

3/4

A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

Where has an I quit match come from? You don't do an I quit match on their first PPV, way to kill off a feud. The I quit match is like a last resort match after a feud has been running over a few PPVs, for fuck's sake. AJ to win, please.

Really enjoyed this match, didn't get the thing with the fork, but it was still decent. Tommy Dreamer actually seemed like a force to be reckoned with in this one and did some great submission moves with a steel chair.

AJ won, therefore 4/5

The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling

Guns will probably win this, but I'd quite like to see London Brawling get the gold only for the Guns to get it back at Bound for Glory after a vicious and nasty feud over the next few weeks... this won't happen though, so I'll say Guns.

I couldn't have been more wrong. The match ended up being the Young Bucks versus MCMG. There were some crazy moves going on, and bodies were flying all over the place. My only criticism is that it wasn't as good as some of their matches in PWG.

4/6

Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy

Hmmm, I wonder...

This was a great match. They managed to give the match drama even though it was always going to be a squash match... or was it? In the long-run it will be, but the match was declared a no contest, me predicts some more matches over the next few week, hopefully a best of 3. I really don't want to see a 3-way for BFG.

This was the best match of the evening and should have been at the end.

This had the potential to be TNA's match of the year, quite easily, were it not for the retarded booking. Firstly, I don't recall them saying that there would be a 20 minute time limit at the start of this match. Secondly, if there NEEDS TO BE A WINNER THEN DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TIME LIMIT. After the first overtime, Bischoff adds another 5 mins (fucking pointless) then they got to the end of the time limit. Angle had been busted wide open, brother, and the medics declared that he was too injured to carry on. Bare in mind that only a few matches before a match wasn't stopped when AJ went Abdulla the Butcher on Dreamer with a fork. This is where it gets interesting. If Kurt Angle CAN'T GO ON, then in any other fighting sport (boxing/MMA/fuckning curling) Angle would lose. Fair enough, this isn't a real sport, so let's look at pro wrestling history, in Wrestlemania 4 (might be 5, one of the early ones) there was a no contest and BOTH competitors lost. Obviously you can't take away what Hardy and Angle were doing because it was awesome, but the booking was terrible. Rant over.

4/7

Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero

Anderson will win, just to get him versus Angle at BFG.

As predicted. The match wasn't bad, just didn't compare to the previous match. Again TNA blew its load too early.

5/8 - not bad. Fourtune swept the board.


PPV rating: ****

So, we're now on the road to Bound for Glory. I predict injuries preventing Hardy and Angle from competing for the final position, therefore, the main event will be Hardy/Anderson/Angle. This could be a smart move, here's why: Anderson could turn heel, fuck around with Angle/Hardy, say he was just being an asshole, blah blah. Then during the match, Anderson will get the pin on Hardy, but only by cheating. Angle getting the belt being the most obvious thing in the worl is swerved, and Kurt Angle wouldn't lose, he would just not win. Angle is so pissed by the screwjob/cheating that he doesn't retire. So we have Anderson getting the belt and a great feud reemerging between Angle and Anderson.

Promo of the week: "Stone Cold..."

This was the highlight of the wrestling promos in the last week. CM Punk really knows how to piss off a crowd. Luckily the clip cuts before Big Show came in and ruined it. Enjoy!

Socko's TNA No Surrender predictions

With one of the worst build-ups to a PPV in recent memory, I really don't care about any of these matches. But let's go over my predictions:

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

I predict Velvet will win. There will be some interference by Tara, but this will be stopped by Angelina, giving Velvet the win and reigniting the Tara/Angelina feud.

Rhino vs. Abyss

This has the postential to be a pretty nasty match. No DQ, falls count anywhere, could be messy. Abyss to win.

Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu

This match seems to have come from nowhere. I like Doug and Sabu in equal measures (actually, I prefer Sabu from about 13 years ago), but I think Sabu will win.

Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

Who cares? I mean, what's going to happen? What's a stake? Who are the good guys and bad guys? What are they fighting about? Joe and Jarrett to win.

A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

Where has an I quit match come from? You don't do an I quit match on their first PPV, way to kill off a feud. The I quit match is like a last resort match after a feud has been running over a few PPVs, for fuck's sake. AJ to win, please.

The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling

Guns will probably win this, but I'd quite like to see London Brawling get the gold only for the Guns to get it back at Bound for Glory after a vicious and nasty feud over the next few weeks... this won't happen though, so I'll say Guns.


Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero

Anderson will win, just to get him versus Angle at BFG.


Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy

Hmmm, I wonder...

That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT September 2nd

Another week another iMPACT. My only hopes going in is that this is not as much of a piece of shit as the last two weeks. We're due a decent episode...



0:36 - They're bigging up this tag match as if it's something to look forward to...who gives a fuck, it's going to be like 1/10 as good as any of the established tag teams going at it.
1:54 - Oh for fuck's sake. Starting the show with Hogan and Bischoff coming to the ring? I only hope that Sting shows up and brains them both with his bat. If Abyss went after these two with Janice, you would not hear any complaints from this direction.
3:15 - Hogan is actually terrible on the mic
3:54 - Are we actually going to see any wrestling tonight? They're doing five entrances before there's even a match. Plus whoever is in the match, so that'll be at least seven.
4:49 - Fuck this, fast forwarding
7:20 - I wish Hogan and Bischoff didn't say anything that impacted the storylines...I'd love to be able to fast forward their shitty promos and still follow the show
8:10 - KILL THEM ALL ABYSS
9:42 - He just wants to talk :( At least they've ret-conned 'They' being Fortune...that was just fucking stupid
10:33 - Abyss is absolutely owning Hogan on the mic
11:43 - Brilliantly timed advert - right in the middle of a promo. Good job TNA.
13:25 - Wait, they didn't even finish that promo? Just cut straight to the Knockouts? Oh my fuck, it just keeps getting worse
20:51 - Oh, Tara's taken her mask off. Did anyone actually not know it was her?
21:58 - 22 minutes in and I've actually watched about 8 minutes of this...I'm fast forwarding huge chunks. It actually makes the show a lot better.
24:04 - Abyss v Stevie. This will be over real fast. Poor Stevie.
26:54 - You Suck chant for Abyss? Is it 'morons get in free' night or something? Just because someone has a heel turn doesn't mean they automatically stop being decent wrestlers you fucking retards
27:24 - Stevie Richards won? What the hell? I'm guessing he'll get Janiced later
28:27 - Foley's got some kind of ankle injury
29:10 - Brian Kendrick makes the save?? TNA just makes less sense as time goes on
30:25 - If Angle loses the tag match, will he quit wrestling? Who am I kidding, no way will Angle lose the tag match
31:49 - Jeff v Sting. I hope it's a replay of their last match.
32:07 - God more ECW v Flair shit.
33:26 - 'You suck' chants for AJ. Christ, this crowd is awful.
35:51 - Tommy Dreamer tells Fortune they suck. Seconds later, he opens his mouth and he's eating a cough sweet. Who sucks now, Tommy. Who sucks now.
38:59 - Sting has the red face paint on? He was talking with Nash a moment ago in his white face paint. And Nash has changed his outfit too. FFS TNA, you've had nearly a week to redo this so it makes sense.
39:53 - Damn, looks like they're actually going to have a match...I was hoping for a quick beatdown and pin again
43:01 - Some decent work done, but overall it was a crap match with a crap finish
43:31 - Oh Cool, Hulk Hogan, Just What This Show Needs, More Hogan
43:56 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE
44:31 - Looks like Joe might actually be getting an angle...about fucking time TNA
46:15 - Wolfe :D
46:53 - Why is Magnus wearing a beret? Fucking frog
47:59 - 'Shut the hell up' chant...this crowd is really pissing me off. It's 'Shut the fuck up' you bunch of cunts.
51:02 - This promo is awful
52:11 - Wolfe sounds a bit like Roland Rat for some reason
52:41 - Chelsea's gone back to being American again...I wish she'd make her mind up
56:29 - "Tonight, we have two of the top two wrestlers"
57:04 - I hope Fortune win this. AJ is awesome, Kaz is awesome, Beer Money are awesome. Dreamer was awesome, Rhino has his moments, Sabu is awesome, Kendrick is pretty good. Fortune are clearly the better team overall.
60:03 - Dropkick by Rhino? You see something new every day...
61:01 - Wait, this is elimination? They could have mentioned it...it is kinda important. And why did Sabu get eliminated so easily?
62:15 - Nice reversal on that cross body by Kaz
63:52 - What? Kaz got pinned from a dropkick? What is this?
64:50 - They're timing the adverts so badly tonight
66:10 - FUCK YEAH JOE GETS A MATCH AT THE PPV
67:40 - Abyss comes to ringside to attack Rhino...ref starts counting Rhino out
69:45 - Dreamer just beat Beer Money single handedly. Fuck this shit.
72:57 - AJ wins, thank fuck for that...I thought Dreamer was going to go over Beer Money and AJ on his own.
78:05 - Main event, tag match with four of the biggest names in the company. TNA gives it six minutes, including post match celebrations and shenanigans. Fuck this shit.
82:41 - Angle got pinned? So...he's leaving TNA, right?
84:22 - Ffs, they always end on a brawl nowadays. Ever since Reaction started, they need something to get people to watch it, which makes iMPACT end on a bad note.

Overall...better than the last two weeks but still not as good as RAW. Which is shameful if you compare the rosters of the two shows. Actually, it might have been as bad as the last two weeks, I fast forwarded a lot of it so I don't know.

I might as well do my No Surrender predictions here instead of doing a separate post. The only match I'm looking forward to is Williams v Sabu.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

I didn't realise this was actually happening. Madison to win, probably due to Tara getting involved.

Rhino vs. Abyss

This could be a decent match. It'll basically just be a big brawl, but Abyss tends to do some kind of big stunt at PPVs so I'll be looking for someone to get thrown off a stage or set on fire or something.

Abyss to win. 'They' aren't going to reveal themselves just for their guy to lose the same night.

Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu

Should be an interesting match, two very different styles so it could be anything from brilliant to shite.

Sabu to win. ECW doesn't have any gold, they're getting their asses kicked all over iMPACT, they need something like this to make them look relevant/viable. Also, I think Doug's push ended when he joined Fourtune, he just stands about looking pissed off. Doug is to Fourtune as Kiyoshi was to World Elite.

Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

Hard to say with this one, really depends what direction they're going to go with the angle.

There's a voice in my head saying Sting to win, I don't really know why but I'm going to go with it.

A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

Again, tough to say. Leader of ECW v main guy in Fourtune. I seem to remember I Quit matches as being No-DQ in TNA, which would favour Dreamer...but on the other hand, AJ is phenomenal so who knows.

I want AJ to win, so let's go with that.

The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling

Guns, obviously.

Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero

After the Anderson v Angle cage match earlier this year (still MOTY so far), I'm sure TNA will want to put those guys in the ring again. Anderson to win.

Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy

Angle. This shouldn't even count as a prediction, really. It's just definitely going to happen.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW 900

Last week's RAW was pretty good, so I figured I'd check it out again.

I have a terrifying paranoia that if this continues, I'll wake up one day wearing nothing but John Cena merchandise...

ON WITH THE SHOW

0:17 - The intro still reminds me of Botchamania
0:33 - God, I miss Austin and The Rock :(
1:27 - 900 episodes...that's 1350 hours not including ads...christ, that's over 56 full days of RAW
2:58 - I saw 10 man tag and was like :( Then I saw the word 'elimination' and I was like :D
3:49 - Brett looks so tired
4:44 - Damn, his voice is all fucked too...maybe he smokes like 2 packs a day now or something
5:48 - RAW, I'm happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but The Wire is the best weekly episodic TV show of all time. OF ALL TIME
7:12 - Kane is surprisingly eloquent nowadays...I can't be the only guy who still thinks he looks weird without the mask.
9:00 - This promo is pretty boring...waiting for the obligatory Taker music
10:14 - Was expecting Taker, got Hart Dynasty...Sigh
10:31 - WHOOMP THERE IT IS
12:18 - Brett Hart v Undertaker main event. No way is iMPACT topping this.
14:55 - Micheal McGillicutty? Any relation to Beulah?
15:09 - Holy shit, Senshi and Danielson are a tag team? Fuck yeah :)
15:17 - Who the fuck is Alex Riley?
18:33 - That was one awesome submission move from Senshi
19:01 - Senshi is probably my favourite person in the ring
19:25 - Brutal foot stomp :)
19:35 - Robbed.
20:56 - Cole's commentary is a new level of shite...I thought Don West was bad, but this is...There are no words
22:17 - Divas...fast forwarding
27:20 - Why are Nexus standing in a line, shoulder to shoulder, and having a conversation...that makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Even TNA's wobbly camera shite is better than this. WWE promos really are the worst.
32:54 - As much as I like Morrison...he really needs to lose that beard, it doesn't suit him in the least
33:53 - Truth's theme tune is still shite
35:14 - Wow, Drew McIntyre is still in it...I figured he was way to boring to be around for long
38:01 - I don't know what you call that, but I don't think 'match' is the right word. The entrances took longer than the in-ring stuff.
40:04 - As awesome as it sounds on paper, I'm not sure Brett Hart v Undertaker is going to be up to scratch. I really hope it's good, for their sakes
45:30 - This thing with the Taker music and the lights is silly
46:41 - Oh ffs, again?
46:59 - Wade Barrett has the worst finisher I've seen in a long time
47:54 - Nexus are all lined up next to each other again...it makes no sense whatsoever for them to do that
48:20 - They're just staring at him...
48:51 - That was a pretty confusing segment
50:27 - Jack Swagger :) I like Swagger
51:39 - FUCK YEAH EVAN BOURNE
53:01 - What the fuck is this shit?
55:01 - Who is this guy, is he a wrestler or is he some kind of celebrity? I have no idea
55:51 - Do you know who this guy reminds me of, when he talks? "It's-a me, Mario!"
61:37 - Sweet, CM Punk :)
62:12 - I wish Cole would just shut the fuck up
63:04 - I wouldn't go that far
68:22 - FUCK YEAH AUSTIN
68:55 - Epic trolling from CM
74:23 - Punk's promo is the best thing on the show so far (Till Big Show's interruption)
77:11 - I still can't get over Sheamus as champ
84:39 - I can't see this match ending without shenanigans
85:19 - Christ, the match couldn't even start without shenanigans
90:04 - This match is all punch punch kick kick, no real wrestling so far
95:10 - That really is a terrible finisher
95:35 - Barrett is good, it's just his finisher

Not as good as last week, but then it was a glorified clips show. Highlight was a promo, which is always a bad sign. And still better than the last 2 iMPACTs.

I'm thinking this week's iMPACT will be awesome...two shitty ones in a row usually means things will improve.