What the hell is going on with Ric Flair's forehead? Seriously, this guy can bleed on command and it's starting to creep me out. I had a dream last night where my dog Watson was actually a robot and for no reason Ric Flair kept bleeding everywhere. Now, I'm sure that Freud would have a field day with this dream, but Ric Flair needs to stop.
I used to know this guy whose dad was in the police and he told me about this rent boy they once took in. When they searched him they realised that he had a tampon stuffed in his arse. Police being police, they made the guy throw it away, much against the guy's protests. The cell the next morning looked like a magical chocolate factory, but instead of the floor being covered in chocolate... well you can guess the rest. Apparently, the rent boy didn't do this as a dirty protest, but had had his anus pounded so much over the previous years that he no longer had the capacity to control his bowels. There's a point to this, trust me.
With Ric Flair busting open his forehead every week, I worry that one he's going to be like the rent boy and no longer be able to control his explosive bleeding. Picture the scene, Ric Flair's in a bar with his wrestling buddies, probably bitching on someone for being gay until they leave the company, and suddenly his head explodes. There is blood everywhere and people start slipping on it. Fights break out, glasses and bottles are brken and shards of glass scatter across the floor and everyone is rolling around getting covered in Ric Flair's blood and getting ripped up by the glass. All the king's horses and all the king's men wouldn't be able to fix Ric and would have spend his life with a tampon sticking out of his forehead.
Take care Ric, it's only a matter of time.
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