Things are looking up!

A few months ago I made the conscious decision to stop writing about wrestling until TNA got better. I was pretty down on the product and didn’t want to turn into one of those ‘smart marks’ who pick apart and highlight all the problems that a wrestling show has, thereby sapping the joy out of something which is meant to be entertaining. TNA has been great over the past month or so, so as my first dip back into writing after a few months hiatus here are my 10 reasons why TNA is great.
1) Austin Aries. I could just leave it there. I’ve been a fan of Aries for a few years now and I cannot for the life of me figure out why WWE rejected him for Tough Enough. Aries has great presence, he carries himself like a star, he’s great on the mic and he’s capable of pulling a five star match out of his ass (Aries vs Angle feud = awesomeness).
2) Beer Money are now main eventers. It is high time that some TNA originals were put in the top spot again. They are young and fresh, and it’s great to see the exposure and push they are getting.
3) Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is an amazing heel; I want to see him on TV more.
4) Abyss. Abyss hasn’t been on TV much of late, this is a good thing.
5) Karen Jarrett. Like Jeff, she is a great heel. I hope that the knockouts storylines move beyond ‘she thinks you are a whore/skank/bitch’, etc.
6) AJ vs Daniels. Daniels is one of the most under-rated guys in TNA. His matches with AJ have been great, even though the I quit match wasn’t.
7) Bully Ray. What a prick, what a horrible example of human... I love it! Bubba knows his character better than anyone on the roster. Obnoxious and cowardly, the perfect combination for a heel.
8) Ric Flair. It’s obvious that Garrett Bischoff is not ready for TV and is only being pushed because he’s Bischoff’s son. When Ric Flair laid into him backstage a few weeks back on Impact it was one of the best promos I’ve seen all year. It reminded me of when Flair laid into Carlito in about 2005. He might be a crazy old man, but he’s the best crazy old man in wrestling.
9) Filming on the road. TNA have been doing more tapings on the road. This is great. New crowds and new venues make it seem fresher and make the stars seem bigger.
10) Raw has been so God-awful of late that TNA is objectively a much stronger product. The roster is stronger and the storylines seem to be building nicely.

I feel quite optimistic about TNA at the moment. Let’s see how it pans out, or whether putting on a good wrestling show is actually a swerve...a

For blog's sake...

Where to begin? TNA is capable of so much, that goes for shit and genius. One minute it produces some of the greatest matches I've ever seen, some of the worst swerves too. I thought it was a true spectacle to see AJ Styles drop onto Bully Ray from on basically top of building only for Bully Ray (I cringe when I type that name) to somehow pull the match out of the bag by knocking AJ through a wall and standing up for about a second. The sad part though is that I was half expecting the wall to be Vince Russo all along.

Sting - What the fuck? TNA have now decided that Heath Ledger was so amazing as the Joker (I have to say that he was good despite being shite because the fucker's dead) that they've basically made him as the next incarnation. I've heard that he's going to be having a match against Jack Nicholson with the reanimated ashes of Cesar Romero as special guest referee.

WWE - R Truth. Genius - He's a good R Truth! They should do the same with John Fucking Cena. They've really started to piss me off lately with Super-Cena Man - A man who can be dominated for 99% of a match and will still always win. Poor CM Punk doesn't stand a chance - if he isn't victim to a monumental WWE screwjob in his hometown he'll be tapping to Cena after delivering between 4 and 8 GTS's. I'm getting really bored of the rivalry between Randy Orton and Christian, both are capable of some great matches but enough is enough. Christian has had enough goes, I think it's time for a new face to step up - I'm thinking it could be Wade Barrett's turn.

Sticking with Smackdown, for once I was glad to see Daniel Bryanson lose what was another great match with Cody Rhodes - this one has got some mileage left in it yet. It was also good to see little Daniel to finally get some mic time. He's no CM Punk on the mic but he's pretty good - much better than Randy Orton.

I've never been good at closing articles, so long.

Paul Heyman is on the money...

Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Podcast - Episode 3

At long last, we bring you episode 3 of Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Podcast. In this episode we look at recent goings on in TNA, WWE and have a laugh about Summerslam 91 and the underused back rake...

Direct download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?6bl38zwt8t56bx5

Take care, get hit with a chair

TNA Sacrifice - predictions

TNA has been pretty horrible of late... the whole network angle was so dumb that Mick Foley left the company FOR REAL. We're basically at the same point in the 'they' angle that we were in October of last year. Hogan and Bischoff are in charge, and it's like watching WCW. Anyway, here are my predictions for the PPV.

* World Title Match: Sting © vs. Mr. Anderson

This match will be awful - the build-up has sucked and Mr Anderson is terrible. Both guys lost to undercard wrestlers - Anderson to EY, and Sting to Gunner. I was glad to see EY get a win, but this basically means that we know that both guys in the match are undeserving of the title.
Sting to win.

* #1 Contender's Match (Kurt Angle's Olympic Medals On The Line): Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

Match of the night. Looking forward to this... hopefully it will be free from bullshit... I'm not sure why a normal match is the blow-off match for a feud, but I'm just looking forward to the in-ring stuff... I lost interest in a lot of the story-lines in TNA quite a few months back.
Angle to win

* Tag Team Title Match: British Invasion vs. James Storm and Alex Shelley ©

I like the British Invasion, but they haven't been on TNA for ages. Why are they number on contenders? Why not. It seems that Shelley and Storm are together in a tag team because Roode is 'injured'. And what is the name of this new team? Why, Gun Money of course... because JAMES STORM'S GIMMICK IS THAT HE'S A MONEY GUY... Such lazy writing it's not even funny. As for the finish? I smell bullshit, a swerve, something horrible... in-ring should be fun, though.
Brits to win

* Last Man Standing Match: Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

I'm looking forward to seeing Bubba get his face kicked off by AJ.
AJ to win.


* Knockouts Title Match: Angelina Love vs. Mickie James ©
A drugged-up zombie in a championship match? TNA should have learnt from their mistakes with Hardy/Sting...
MJ to win.

* TNA X-Division Title Match: Abyss © vs. Kazarian vs. Kendrick
I hate this angle so much, it's not even funny.
Abyss will retain.

* Crimson vs. Samoa Joe
Poor Joe, jobbing to Crimson. This match needs to be short and sweet, otherwise it's going to suck.
Goldberg will win.

* Matt Morgan vs. Scott Steiner
A throwaway match that's going to be dull.
Steiner to win.

Mr Socko's Wrestling Show - Episode 2

With over 100 downloads of our last podcast, we have decided to continue on our quest to scrape the barrel with wrestling-related chat. Here we have episode two of the Mr Socko’s Pro Wrestling Review radio show with The Colin and the “Rumbling” Jonny Jay. In this episode we talk about Over the Limit, Raw, Smackdown and TNA. As well as a tongue-in-cheek look at the world of pro-wrestling there is music, laughter and lots of cups of tea...

Click the link to download, let us know what you think!

http://www.mediafire.com/?d9ln43d6k994d93

Smackdown time :)

LETS DO THIS

- Randy Orton v Mark Henry tonight! Fucking yay, match of the year

- Starting with Christian in the ring...nice. A lot of wrestling shows could stand to actually start with a match

- Christian v Sheamus? Could be pretty decent

- Orton interrupting the post match beatdown again

- Did they really put Big Show v HHH from god knows when in the middle of Smackdown, or is the guy who uploaded the show playing silly buggers?

- Maybe someone got hurt, or did a shoot or something in that spot and they put the match there to fill the time?

- Including the 'Vault' thingie, and the Cena promo, that was like 20 minutes of nothing relevant whatsoever...better than 75 minutes + over at TNA, but still WTF

- And then a rundown of the PPV matches...this is like 25 minutes now, a quarter of the fucking show

- I've never been more happy to see Todd Grisham

- OH LOOK ANOTHER FUCKING REPLAY (but this time it's Kong so it's ok)

- Divas FUCK YES ANOTHER FUCKING KONG RUN IN ON THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS

- No Kong? WHAT THE FUCK

- Zeke promo...what

- Clearly went to the same promo school as Matt Morgan

- Kane, Show and Zeke v Corre...I knew it was only a matter of time

- Chavo talking shit about Sin Cara again...I think he's serious this time

- Chavo v Daniel Bryan, Chavo promising to beat him in under 5 minutes...I was really hoping Bryan would do better on Smackdown, but they seem to have him as a generic jobber :/

- Not a bad match actually.

- Ted DiBiase coming out with Cody Rhodes? Weren't they feuding last week?

- Weird promo...DiBiase with a bag on his head, talking in a Mexican accent, no explanation whatsoever

- Trent Baretta...kinda digging his music tbh

- Destroyed in about a minute or so

- Pointless Khali match

Pretty boring Smackdown too :/ Hopefully there'll be a ton of drama at the PPV to liven things up a little...

Mr Socko's Wrestling Show - Episode 1

Introducing the brand new podcast from Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Review. In our first episode we talk about Randy Savage's death, recent WWE and the new improved TNA/iMPACT. We also share our predictions for the next WWE pay-per-view, Over the Limit. This show's not suitable for the weak of heart or those offended by naughty words... but if you like a tongue-in-cheek look at the world of wrestling, you might enjoy it... check it out, tell your friends and feel free to let us know what you think!

Just click on the Mediafire link to download:


http://www.mediafire.com/?yra24an8juq8qkd

http://www.mediafire.com/?yra24an8juq8qkd

Macho Man Randy Savage: 1952 - 2011

It is with regret that today I heard about the passing of a true legend of Wrestling, as the title suggests, the Macho Man has died at the age of 58.

My main memories of this great wrestler stem from seeing him as the Macho King and the feud he had with the Ultimate Warrior which was punctuated with one of the greatest ever matches at Wrestlemania VII where Randy lost his career match to the Warrior.

After this he became a commentator alongside Vince McMahon for a few months before feuding with Jake the Snake Robert after he was tied to the ring ropes and had a Cobra set on him. At this point he was reinstated as a wrestler and finished off his feud with Jake before launching an assault on Ric Flair at Wrestlemania VIII where he regained the World Championship.

I'm not going to go into the stuff with Miss Elizabeth as it's just not necessary but what I will say is that despite several years in WCW and a brief stint in TNA he never really recaptured his former glory but regardless he will remain a great figure and will be sorely missed by his fans of all generations.

Rest In Peace Randall.

TNA Sacrfice predictions revisited

It's time to look at the results for TNA's latest PPV and see how I did in the predictions game:

TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

“Eugh, I remember how bad their last one-on-one match was. Sting and RVD are both ‘veterans’ which means they are both clunky in the ring. Their styles don’t work well together, and I predict that this match will suck. Sting to win.”

Sting won, thus I win. No one won really though, as this match was pretty dull. As noted above, both these guys are pretty limited in what they can do, so this saw RVD taking a few stupid bumps on the concrete floor and smash his leg off a steel barricade. During the match Anderson was on commentary and boy did he suck. He chewed gum loudly and whined like a bitch – he added nothing to this match. Next PPV we have Sting versus Anderson – I’m already feeling sleepy.

Match rating: *


TNA World Tag Team Championship
Matt Hardy & Chris Harris vs. Beer Money

“Not sure how this one’s going to pan out – Beer Money are awesome and both Hardy and Harris have been awesome... but that was a few years ago... so who knows? Beer Money should win.”

This match was average. Beer Money were great, but Harris was by no means in ring-shape. Hardy worked really hard at the start of the match, but the crowd weren’t into it. I think TNA went into this one assuming that the crowd would be all over the AMW/Beer Money angle; but without much of a build and due to the fact that most of the audience probably weren’t watching TNA when AMW were rocking the set, there was no heat - even ending the match with AMW’s finish failed to stir the crowd. Perhaps if this match had occurred 3 years ago it would have worked... at least Beer Money won, which means I’m 2-0 up.
Match rating: **


TNA Knockouts Championship
Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

“The stip in this match makes little sense if, like I, you try and follow a storyline. Essentially, Tara was fired from TNA, she was working as a toilet cleaner (or something equally menial), so Madison Rayne employed her as a personal assistant/bodyguard. Months went by and Tara ended up costing Mickie James a title, which Tera then gave to Rayne in a finger poke of death style pin... Mickie James is now saying that if she beats Rayne, she will give Tera her old job back... how? Since when does Mickie have to power to hire people? And why would Mickie want to help Tera anyway? It just doesn’t make sense.... Mickie to win.”

It was weird to see that Tera had been replaced by a Jerry Springer transvestite in this one – she looked really bad. The match was what it was, bloody awful. The match has been built on the premise that Tera wants to be free at last, free at last... but, in the promo before that match, Tera was torn, seemingly just so Russo could write in a swerve. The match ended with Tera getting Madison’s loaded glove and standing in the ring after a second ref bump... for a long time... she was torn as to what to do, just in case you didn’t realise. For a moment it looked like she was going to hit Mickie... but bang! Swerve city, she turns and hits Madison. Mickie retained and Tera’s no longer a white slave. 3-0 to me!

Rating: *


TNA X-Division Championship
Max Buck vs. Kazarian

“Kaz to win and Bucks to reform... should be one hell of match.”
This was a decent enough match, lots of crazy spots and one of the stupidest moves I’ve ever seen. Kaz nearly killed Buck by doing a Sunset Flip Powerbomb from the apron to the floor. This move is dangerous enough at the best of times, but Max Buck’s head smacked off of the concrete. This looked really bad, and, fair play to him he kept working and even kicked out of a pin... just a few months after the concussion storyline, I might add... Kaz got the win and finished with the Shining Wizard, which is always a fun move. One the whole this was a pretty decent match, which felt a bit too choreographed at points. 4-0, I’m hating that I’m thinking like Russo.

Match rating: ***

Kurt Angle & Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett

“Who cares anymore? Chyna came out looking like Michael Jackson, Kurt Angle’s been beaten by Jarrett over and over since last year... I presume that Chyna get the pin on Karen for the victory. It will be a decent match whilst Kurt and Jarrett are in the ring, but then it will suck when the women tag in...”

I thought that the booking of this match was surprisingly good. Jeff and Kurt worked most of this one. Chyna looked like Michael Jackson and, luckily, her and Karen were only in the match for the finish. There was a bit of dumb moment in this match where Angle tagged Chyna, the announcers noted that it was a mixed tag match, so if one person tagged out, both sides had to switch. This didn’t happen. Chyna came in the ring, Karen didn’t and then Jeff and Kurt carried on. The announcers then explained that Jeff was the legal man, so that was fine... erm, no he wasn’t. The finish came with Chyna giving the worst slam I’ve ever seen to Jeff and then putting Karen in the ankle lock. Angle held Karen’s hand so she couldn’t tap, because in order to submit in a match now you have to physically tap (so stupid)... aside from some stupidity, this was a great mixed tag match. I even guessed who got the win. 5-0

Match rating: ***


AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

“This could be a decent enough match... I’m predicting a win by Dreamer, but due to interference from Bubba... that makes logical sense to me, so it’s very unlikely to happen.”

Yes and yes. I’m reaching Goldberg levels of streakery here. This match was pretty dull. AJ looked pretty good, but Dreamer kind of hobbled around a bit and finished with the worst looking Piledriver ever after Bubba interfered and hit AJ with a chain. Bubba’s promo before this match was truly awesome, Bubba is the best heel in mainstream wrestling bar none. 6-0

Match rating: **

Mexican America vs. Ink, Inc.

“This will probably be an okay match, I quite like some of the stuff Ink Inc do, but Shannon Moore is nothing without the rest of 3 Count. I presume that Mexicool, or whatever they’re called will get the win.”

This match sucked. Shannon Moore did some cool stuff in this, but it wasn’t enough. Mex-Pac isn’t ready to be on TV, and Hernadez is nothing without Homicide. But, I picked the winner... thus I win. 7-0
Match rating: ½


Abyss vs. Crimson

“Crimson’s going to kill you... if Crimson doesn’t fuck Abyss up... well...”
This would have been a great match if it went on for 3-4 minutes rather than 10. The match was pretty dull. The best part about this was actually Abyss’s (babyface) promo he gave before the match, really intense. 8-0... this is getting awkward now.

Match rating: *½

Robbie E. vs. Brian Kendrick

“Wow, this feud has been building up for months, I can’t wait to see these guys finally get in the ring together... okay, where has this match come from, and why should anybody PAY for this match? No build whatsoever... I’m sure Kendrick will do some pretty cool spots, but Robbie E is awful... I want Kendrick to win, but that’s very unlikely... screw it, Kendrick to win...”

Kendrick’s robe makes him look like he’s in the KKK. Robbie E = bad Zack Ryder. This match is a great example of a clash of styles. Kendrick was all over the top ropes, lots of high-flying moves; Robbie was doing his kick kick punch punch thing. What was strange about this match is the fact the Kendrick’s first strike was a dropkick, and so was his finisher. 9-0.
Match rating: *½

On the whole this was a sub-par PPV. There were a couple of half-decent matches punctuated by bad ones.
I predicted the results of all of these matches, which probably makes me some kind of psychic master. I have the ability to see through logic ... I am Vince Russo.*

*disclaimer - I am not Vince Russo.

RAW 16th May 2011

I should be playing L.A. Noire right about now, but it's not out here till Thursday at the earliest...that means it's RAW time.

LETS DO THIS

- Watching on Youtube, don't look at the comments, don't look at the comments...
- Looked at the comments...Goldberg, talented? These people are fucking morons.
- Cena
- Alex Riley with the interruption before he even opens his mouth...nice
- Miz :/ Miz v Cena is a really dull feud
- 'Boo this fool' sign in the audience...I agree with that guy
- Cena trying to do 'funny'...it's the worst part of his gimmick by far. He's really good at 'intense', he should just stick to that
- Kofi v Punk :) Nice
- Could have been better, Punk got dominated but won with a Go To Sleep
- Just realised that's the first time I've seen Punk win in ages
- Cole v Lawler contract signing coming up :/
- DIVAS FUCK YES KONG'S GONNA FUCK YOU ALL UP
- L.A. Noire advert...rubbing it in >:(
- MITB is it's own PPV now??
- Not the greatest match tbh...it's gotta be Kong time soon
- HERE SHE FUCKING COMES KONGS GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR SISTERS HEAD
- Kong (sorry, Kharma) is one of the highlights of WWE right now
- Mysterio...hope Crackhead Truth shows up
- Mysterio called out Truth, and Truth actually didn't come out? Don't know that I've ever seen anyone ignore a callout before
- Del Rio v Mysterio
- Was going OK, but Truth interrupted
- AN INTERRUPTION WITH NO BEARING ON THE MATCH WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT
- Truth with a mic again...he's on meth
- Contract signing time...Someone's going through that table
- KISS THEM YOU PEASANT
- Nobody went through the table :(
- Show & Kane v Nexus...they're feuding two very similar factions in two different shows, it's weird
- "Another Zack Ryder Sign" sign
- Am I the only one who's more excited about the Christian v Orton match than the actual main event for the PPV?
- Zack Ryder chilling with Cena again :)
- Cena v Swagger :)
- Actually more boring than I was expecting

Kinda boring RAW, especially going into a PPV. I actually prefer Smackdown tbh. Maybe I'll check out some TNA so I start appreciating it again...

TNA Sacrifice predictions

So, we’re in a new era; big changes in TNA... we’re now in an era ‘where wrestling matters’ and TNA is now called Impact Wrestling... let’s see how this pans out. Let’s have a look at my predictions for this year’s Sacrifice... and hope that TNA really start to improve thier game.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Eugh, I remember how bad their last one-on-one match was. Sting and RVD are both ‘veterans’ which means they are both clunky in the ring. Their styles don’t work well together, and I predict that this match will suck. Sting to win.

TNA World Tag Team Championship
Matt Hardy & Chris Harris vs. Beer Money

Not sure how this one’s going to pan out – Beer Money are awesome and both Hardy and Harris have been awesome... but that was a few years ago... so who knows? Beer Money should win.

TNA Knockouts Championship
Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

The stip in this match makes little sense if, like I, you try and follow a storyline. Essentially, Tara was fired from TNA, she was working as a toilet cleaner (or something equally menial), so Madison Rayne employed her as a personal assistant/bodyguard. Months went by and Tara ended up costing Mickie James a title, which Tera then gave to Rayne in a finger poke of death style pin... Mickie James is now saying that if she beats Rayne, she will give Tera her old job back... how? Since when does Mickie have to power to hire people? And why would Mickie want to help Tera anyway? It just doesn’t make sense.... Mickie to win.

TNA X-Division Championship
Max Buck vs. Kazarian

Kaz to win and Bucks to reform... should be one hell of match.

Kurt Angle & Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett

Who cares anymore? Chyna came out looking like Michael Jackson, Kurt Angle’s been beaten by Jarrett over and over since last year... I presume that Chyna get the pin on Karen for the victory. It will be a decent match whilst Kurt and Jarrett are in the ring, but then it will suck when the women tag in...

AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

This could be a decent enough match... I’m predicting a win by Dreamer, but due to interference from Bubba... that makes logical sense to me, so it’s very unlikely to happen.

Mexican America vs. Ink, Inc.

This will probably be an okay match, I quite like some of the stuff Ink Inc do, but Shannon Moore is nothing without the rest of 3 Count. I presume that Mexicool, or whatever they’re called will get the win.

Abyss vs. Crimson

Crimson’s going to kill you... if Crimson doesn’t fuck Abyss up... well...

Robbie E. vs. Brian Kendrick

Wow, this feud has been building up for months, I can’t wait to see these guys finally get in the ring together... okay, where has this match come from, and why should anybody PAY for this match? No build whatsoever... I’m sure Kendrick will do some pretty cool spots, but Robbie E is awful... I want Kendrick to win, but that’s very unlikely... screw it, Kendrick to win...

May 13th Smackdown

This Smackdown is all about Kong and the Christian angle for me.

LETS DO THIS

- Here comes Christian :)
- Rematch at the PPV...if last week's match was anything to go by, it could be the match of the night.
- Sheamus coming out to interrupt Christian...I'd rather see Danielson tbh
- "...the Dubyaubya universe..." Good work, Sheamus
- Sheamus v Christian :D This could be fucking awesome
- And Mark Henry comes out again :/
- Mark Henry & Sheamus in a handicap match v Christian...Orton with the save...What is going on
- Main event is gonna be a tag match with those 4...could be pretty decent, 3/4 of them are great.
- Chavo starting shit with Sin Cara again...Sin Cara is fucking awesome...his music is a bit 'world music'-y, could use a bit more energy, but in the ring he's great
- FUCK YEAH SIN CARA v DANIEL FUCKING BRYAN IF BRYAN WASN'T CLEARLY GONNA JUST JOB TO HIM THIS WOULD BE AWESOME
- Pretty good match actually, less one-sided than I was expecting...Chavo completely ruined it on the commentary though. I'd love it to lead to an awesome PPV match...and I still love that Aeon Flux
- Sin Cara pushes Chavo after the match for the interference...a feud is clearly brewing, I kinda wish they'd just get into it
- I completely forgot about the Corre
- DIVAS OH FUCK YES KONG IS GOING TO SMASH YOUR FUCKING SKULL INTO THE MAT
- COLE INTERRUPTING THE DIVAS KONG IS GOING TO DECAPITATE COLE AND PUNT HIS HEAD INTO THE CROWD FUCK YEAH
- LESS TALK MORE KONG
- "...crawl back into your glass house like a little puppy..." What does that even mean...Puppies don't live in glass houses, or crawl...what in the fuck is she talking about
- FUCK YES ITS FUCKING KONG TIME NOW MOTHERFUCKERS COLE YOU ARE DEAD
- WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING LAYLA COLE IS RIGHT THERE KILL HIM FOR FUCKS SAKE
- NOW ITS ON COLE YOUR PLASTIC BOX WONT SAVE YOU
- Cole survived...but he looks like he's about to start crying
- Wade Barrett v Kane...I'm sure Zeke'll batter the entire Corre at some point, probably team up with Show and Kane for a 6 man tag at the PPV or something
- Beatdowns are so fucking boing
- Zeke comes out, takes out the 2 little guys whose names I can't remember, Barrett fluffs a big boot, Zeke sells it anyway, gets up, batters them all again, gets battered, left lying in the middle of the ring...one of the most pointless run-ins I've ever seen
- The Khali kiss cam is back...fast forwarding
- Ted DiBiase...I'd completely forgotten about him
- CODY FUCKING RHODES WITH A MICROPHONE FUCK YEAH
- Standard Cody promo. So, fucking awesome, then
- "Let's go and 'make some more statements'" - What you three get up to in the locker room is your business, Wade
- Main event time
- Pretty decent match, Christian got battered for most of it but came away with the pin

Decent Smackdown, I was disappointed Cole escaped from Kong (I really ought to get used to calling her Kharma, but Kong sounds so much better), but apart from that and the kiss cam, good stuff all round.

9/5 RAW

I've decided I'm finally going to complete Xcom, after 15 or more years. It's going pretty well...but only thanks to shocking amounts of savescumming. Although, I guess it's not so bad by today's standards, quicksave/quickload is pretty much standard.

But anyway, the point is I've been so wrapped up in that I haven't checked out the week's wrestling yet...so LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Del Rio...no ‘last time on Raw’ thingie since last week was shit and nothing happened
- Del Rio v Mysterio...battle of the Mexicans
- Miz :/ It was starting to get interesting, too
- What in the fuck is this R-Truth promo? It’s awful...he must be trolling
- I really think he’s lost his mind
- Truth doesn’t get in the triple threat...
- Ricardo Rodriguez pulled off a dropkick? Impressive for a guy his size...actually that's a lie, it was sloppy as fuck.
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONGS GONNA FUCKING EAT YOU
- Lame match...it's gotta be Kong time soon
- HERE IT FUCKING COMES YOU GONNA DIE
- 3/4 Divas ran away, the one that didn't got completely destroyed :) Can't wait for her to get a proper match
- CM PUNK FUCK YEAH
- Oh, he's cornering Mason Ryan :/
- Against Kane :/
- Mason Ryan is like a competent Rob Terry
- Zack Ryder sign :)
- Santino v Ziggler
- Not much of a match...Ziggler just battered him...his tan is fucking ridiculous, by the way...
- Another Truth promo...he's mental...I think his new gimmick is, he's actually a crackhead
- Cena fistpumping with Zack Ryder
- Alex Riley calling out Cena...wat
- I'd love it if Riley won and became champ...like a reverse Christian or something
- Cole time
- Swagger v Kofi for the US title...I like them both, but I hope Swagger wins. He's awesome, but he's been tied up with the Cole feud for like 3 months now
- Ok match, not even close to potential
- Cole's face when Lawler had his tie is the best thing so far on RAW this week
- ECW's Little Guido is a ref now? Awesome :)
- Promo for Orton's new movie...an anti-bullying movie...YAWN
- Skipping to the main event...
- 3 Signs...1 USA sign and 2 for Zack Ryder :D
- Pretty good main event actually...Mysterio looked great, Del Rio had moments where he looked fucking brilliant, Miz...looked like Miz. The wrong guy won, for sure.
- Miz v Cena in an I Quit match at the PPV...boring main event, hope the rest of the show makes up for it
- Watching part of this on Youtube...accidentally looked at the comments section...fucking hell people are stupid

Not a bad RAW, not a great RAW. Just a RAW.

Smackdown May 5th

After this week's RAW, I hope we get a decent Smackdown at least. Christian's the champ and Kong might show up, so how bad can it be?

LET'S DO THIS

- 'Push Zack Ryder' sign in the audience
- Sharks circling in the water already...Mark Henry coming out to interrupt Christian...you know that belt's not staying with him for long...
- Khali coming out too...this is starting to look like a very weird episode of Oz
- Did Khali just call Christian 'Kitchen'?
- Randy Orton...I think that's checkmate for Christian :/
- Teddy Long...he's so...fucking annoying...he pauses...every two...words. I wish...he'd just...talk normally.
- Teddy just called Christian 'Kristen'...nobody can say his fucking name
- Christian v Orton tonight :( I guess a one-week title reign is better than no title reign, right? Shame he didn't get to keep hold of it till the PPV though
- SHEAMUS v DANIEL BRYAN FUCK YEAH KILL HIM BRYAN
- I hope this match is revenge for Daniel Bryan, the last two matches they've had Sheamus dominated
- Sheamus dominating again...I hope this'll mean a miracle comeback
- Ridiculous missile dropkick from Daniel Bryan
- Sheamus countered a suicide dive with a big boot...it's all over :( Still, closest match yet...Bryan nearly had him with a submission...
- CODY FUCKING RHODES FUCK YEAH
- "I forced Rey Mysterio to expose himself"...let's just stick to talking about wrestling, eh?
- Standard Cody promo...but a standard Cody promo is fucking awesome so I'm not complaining
- Big Show v Ezekiel Jackson...first Zeke singles match I've seen...don't see him getting through Show though
- He not only beat him, but he actually looked pretty impressive doing it
- 7 minute replay of Rock's birthday on RAW...that was a lot of fast forwarding
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONG'S GONNA KILL YOU
- HERE COMES KONG YOU FUCKING DEAD NOW
- Sin Cara v Tyson Kidd...who the fuck is Tyson Kidd? His hair is fucking awful
- Oh I remember, he's one of the Hard Dynasty guys
- Sin Cara wins with the Aeon Flux...I fucking LOVE that move...He's quickly becoming one of my favourite guys in WWE, I love the luchadore style
- WWE promoting anti-bullying, after the way they treated that 'Skidmarks' guy on Tough Enough? They called him 'Skidmarks' from day one, they were constantly berating him for minor things, they prevented him from training because he stumbled stepping into the ring, and Booker assaulted him in front of all the other contestants...fucking hypocrites, for real
- Main event time...LETS GO CHRISTIAN (even though you're obviously going to lose)
- New champ :( I like Orton, but it sucks for Christian to lose the belt so soon. Really good match though.

Pretty cool Smackdown, way better than RAW

Worst Raw Ever!

I'm not going to say too much here, but I do have one question: which segment was worst on this show? Was it when the woman came out and sang? Was it when the guy came out and sang? Was it when that other woman came out and sang? Was it when Rock did the pledge of alegience? Was it the Morrison/Truth match? The ending of the Cena/Miz match? Was it the crap comedy that saw Khali in a tutu? Was it the soundbites of 'celebrities' - most of whom I had new idea who they were? Was it when Vince came out an stuck his nose so far up the Rock's ass that you could make out his face through his stomach?
Awful, awful show. I hope that Rock never dies, retires or ages another year again... I also hope that the US army never kill an old guy again... this show was horrible.

RAW, May 2nd 2011

Not too sure about tonight's RAW, it's a 'Rock's Birthday Special'...doesn't sound too interesting, but there's a decent chance Kong will kill another Diva so I'm watching anyway.

LETS DO THIS

- I'm already sick of hearing about Osama, he's only been dead two days...I don't want to hear about this shit on a wrestling show..FUCK OFF
- National Anthem? You are fucking kidding me
- Right, fast forwarded 5 minutes of shit I don't care about LETS START THE FUCKING SHOW
- Miz v Cena rematch...as if Miz has the remotest of fucking chances
- HERE COMES ROCKY
- Now Rock's going on about this shit...FFS, if I wanted to watch people going on and on about shit I don't care about I'd watch TNA
- God damn this is a boring promo from The Rock...I thought it'd be a lame-ass special episode, but I didn't realise it'd be this bad
- Rock just battered Cole...I thought it was the end of a terrible segment, but he's STILL FUCKING TALKING
- Oh my god, some bald cunt is singing a terrible, terrible pop song...I WANT TO SEE SOME FUCKING WRESTLING WHAT IS THIS SHIT
- Right, after a bit of fast forwarding it's Morrison v Truth...normally I'd be happy to see this match, but I'm still pissed off about the screwjob at the PPV...tempted to give up on RAW and just wait for Smackdown...but Kong'll probably be here at some point
- Looks like the match is getting called off because of a pre-match beating by Truth :/
- Divas...KONG TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
- Lol, one move into the match and Kong shows up...YOU ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE
- Cena v Miz...fast forwarding because I don't give a shit
- Cena retained what a fucking surprise
- JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE GOING ON ABOUT FUCKING OSAMA AGAIN
- Swagger & McIntryre v Rey Mysterio and Kofi

The stream's died so I can't watch the rest for now, given how bad the rest of it was I don't think I'll bother tbh.

Extreme Rules 2011

I really need to remember not to go on Reddit the day after wrestling...three matches spoiler'd :/ Still, should be a good show so

LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Punk v Orton? I would have thought that was way further up the card
- Nexus kicked out of ringside...this match ought to be fucking awesome
- That beard has to mean a heel turn for Orton
- "Revenge is the ultimate payback" - fantastic commentary, Booker
- "...on that hard steel floor; on that hard concrete..." Booker's on fire tonight
- Very cool match, Orton won with a top rope RKO...he seems to have won every single match in this feud :/
- Sheamus v Kofi in a tables match
- Pretty decent...nothing special considering it was a table match though
- Country Whipping match time...I still don't know what that means
- Cole coming out wrapped in bubble wrap
- Cole won with a roll-up...THE FEUD THAT REFUSED TO DIE
- Cody Rhodes is so fucking awesome...best gimmick in wrestling today
- Cody v Rey...this should be awesome
- The crowd seem pretty flat tonight
- Mysterio is doing the green mist now??
- Decent enough match...faces win every single match in the WWE though, better than constant screwjobs but still predictable as fuck
- Divas...I don't give a shit about the match, but I do know that Kong shows up and presumably wrecks everybody's shit so there's that to look forward to
- Layla does the Diamond Dust? Impressed.
- More 2-counts than Taker v HHH
- Pretty decent match, better than I was expecting
- FUCK YEAH AWESOME KONG YOU GONNA DIE BLONDIE
- Lays out McCool, cuts to the Divas watching on a monitor, all look like 'oh shit', fucking awesome...she could stop doing that stupid laugh and I wouldn't complain, though
- Ladder match time :D I know Christian wins, but I still want to watch the whole thing. Does that make it just him and Angle who have been both TNA and WWE champs? In terms of the main belt, at least? Obv the Dudleys were tag champs in both etc etc
- Biggest chant of the night so far, and it's for Christian :)
- Christian doing the Spear :) I fucking knew he'd do it
- Christian got busted open...didn't see it happen, looked like it may be from struggling during the cross arm breaker through the ladder
- Edge shows up in a jeep, Brodus Clay is bleeding like crazy, a huge pool of blood on the mat where he fell...looks like most of the blood on Christian might actually be from Clay...CHRISTIAN IS THE FUCKING CHAMPION FUCK YEAH
- Great match, easily match of the night so far
- Saying he won because of Edge is bollocks...he was seconds from winning when Clay got involved, so if there were no run-ins he would have won anyway...all Edge did was even the odds.
- Shit Miz promo is shit
- Lumberjack tag match? What is this shit...
- Who actually likes lumberjack matches, seriously? There's never been a good lumberjack match, ever
- Barrett and Jackson are an unbelievably dull tag team
- That was pretty shit, but thankfully also pretty short
- Lumberjacks are brawling...ffs
- Main event time
- Bad landing for Miz
- Morrison totally deserves to win this, he's miles better than the other two
- Fucked up landing on that monkey flip...Morrison was bouncing around like he was doing The Worm
- FFS Morrison could have won the match, but did a Starship Pain off the top of the cage instead...it was cool and all, but it looked so fucking stupid when he could have just won the thing
- YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME R TRUTH FUCK YOU YOU CUNT
- This is bullshit, it's like I'm watching TNA or something
- Cena wins...I'm glad they took the belt off the Miz, but I'm pissed off that Morrison got so close only to get screwed...if he'd just got battered and been nowhere close I wouldn't have minded, but to have him basically win the match and then get screwed is fucking stupid. I really hope Cena doesn't keep the belt for the next 11 months just for his one match with The Rock.

An okay PPV, Christian v Del Rio was the highlight followed by the Divas match...everything else ranged somewhere between decent and mediocre.

WWE - Extreme Rules - predictions

It's Extreme Rules time again... and we know that it won't live up to its name. Judging from the card the matches seem quite thin on the ground, so predictions shouldn't take too long:

John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison - WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match

This could be quite a good match. I hope Morrison wins, I hope Cena doesn't. Based on that I'm sure Miz will retain.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match)

Christian will win this one. I really can't see both titles going to Raw, but I've been wrong on stuff like this before.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk (Last Man Standing Match)

This will probably be the best match of the night, I can see Punk losing again and taking a long holiday afterwards.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

Not sure why they need a falls count anwhere match, but hey, why not? I'm thinking that Rhodes won at Mania, Mysterio won on Smackdown... Mysterio to win.

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole & Jack Swagger (Country Whipping Match)

Ah, a good ol' country whipping match... whatever that means. This will be shit, but Cole will probably win.

Layla vs. Michelle McCool (Loser Leaves WWE Match)

This seems to have come from nowhere, maybe it's because I don't really pay attention to Divas. Layla to win...

Just watch this

The first 1:20 or so...I actually can't believe this is real, and completely unironic.



THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED

Smackdown April 29th 2011

Watching this with my girlfriend who doesn't watch wrestling, so this should either be the funniest or the most annoying Smackdown ever...we'll see.

LETS DO THIS

- Mark Henry v Rey...it'll be like watching a gorilla fight a stickman
- I still think Orton's stubble might mean a heel turn
- Drew McIntyre interrupting Randy Orton? It's like he wants his teeth pushed down his throat
- This promo is awesome...every time Orton tries to talk, someone comes to the ring to get battered...I'm cracking up
- Del Rio not making the rookie mistake of getting in the ring with him
- Only 3-on-one? This is Orton ffs
- Sheamus v Kofi
- Oh my god, JR really did a number on Michael Cole...his face looks awful
- I like Swagger's music
- Sin Cara v Swagger? They're actually giving him a real opponent? This is interesting
- This match is awesome
- Sin Cara won...despite the fact that one of Swagger's flailing legs hit the bottom rop while he was being pinned...cool match though
- More Kong teasers...JUST PUT HER ON THE FUCKING SHOW ALREADY
- Time for Corre's rematch...guessing they might actually get the belts what with Show going to Raw
- Nope, Show and Kane retain
- Khali on the screen...girlfriend goes 'What's that?'
- Rey v Mark Henry time...this is gonna be ridiculous
- Cool match...Henry was destroying Rey, but Rey has Luchador Invincibility and he didn't seem to give a shit...but then Cody came out to batter Rey and got the DQ
- Cody paper bagging people like he's the Beautiful People from 3 or 4 years ago
- Lay v Cool...
- Double count out in about 15 seconds
- Main event time
- Pretty standard tag match with no real surprises...but executed flawlessly.

Pretty decent Smackdown...Sin Cara and Swagger stole the show. No sign of Danielson :( Maybe after the PPV...

Zack Ryder - I'm a mark... woo woo woo!

There are few truly awesome wrestlers on the WWE roster: Danielson is up there, Morrison is getting there, Taker, Triple H, Alberto Del Rio... but none of these guys have entertained me nearly as much as Zack Ryder.

Judging by the way he is represented in WWE, we see him maybe once every couple of months doing some backstage skit, if we are lucky (only if we are lucky), we get to see him job to the likes of the Great Khali, it is easy to dismiss Ryder as a jobber, undercard at best... not so.

Check out his Youtube channel LongIslandIcedZ, it is brilliant. If the WWE are interested in entertainment, then, gosh darn it, this guy needs more exposure. Ask yourself this: what would I rather see: Randy Orton delivering a slow monotone promo about hurting someone, or watch Zack Ryder beat the Rock with his wrestling figures? (It's the second one, dummy).

The fact is that Zack Ryder is developing a strong fan base because he is making an effort to connect with the fans - much to the chagrin of the WWE it seems. He keeps in character, he's entertaining, he even keeps Kayfabe... but he's still on Superstars (a show which gets less viewers than his Youtube channel). There're a lot of wrestlers who use social media to destroy their images as performers (Matt Hardy and Hulk Hogan come to mind), but Ryder has taken the initiative and bolstered his gimmick.

I heard recently that at a recent taping of Raw in the UK, a fan had a 'Ryder = Ratings' sign confiscated by security. A guy gets over on his own, his shirts sell on wweshop.com almost immediately, but instead of capitalising on this unforseen success, WWE seem to have attitude of: 'we didn't put you over, so you are not over'. Maybe it harks back to the criticism of Danielson and Lo-Ki in that they are both seen as 'internet stars', meaning that if you have worked your ass off in the indies, wrestled in Japan and Mexico, you are somehow inferior to a model/bodybuilder who has spent six months in development in FCW.

I hope that Zack gets a bit of push, wins a few matches on Raw, gets a little bit more TV time, because he's certainly doing positive things for the company. I can see him in TNA in a bad tag team with Robbie E within six months though :( - don't let this happen WWE!

The Draft 2011 - let's take a look

In the first instance we have the main draft. This had some surprises and a TNA style swerve... probably to get Twitter going crazy. Here we go:

1. John Cena to Smackdown.
2. Rey Mysterio to Raw.
3. Randy Orton to Smackdown.
4. Mark Henry to Smackdown.
5. Sin Cara to Smackdown.
6. Big Show to Raw.
7. Alberto Del Rio to Raw.
8. John Cena drafted back to Raw.

John Cena on Smackdown would have been great... but wasn't to be. Switching Rey with Cara is a sensible move, a few smarks are giving Cara stick for 'botching' a few spots... not considering that no-one else on the roster could do what he does, fucking twats. Randy Orton as top babyface on SD could be good, Orton and Cena on the same show is always too much for me. Mark Henry will go job on Smackdown. Big Show on Raw? I find him boring, but the kids love him. Del Rio over to Raw is obvious, and great... this of course means that Christian will certainly win at Extreme Rules.

And the supplimental draft:


9th Pick

Smackdown chooses Daniel Bryan

I felt quite sad when I watched Raw and he wasn't switched. Smackdown has longer matches and hopefully this will give him chance to shine in the ring. DON'T DROP THE BALL WITH THIS ONE!

10th Pick

Raw chooses Jack Swagger

Swagger's been on Raw a lot recently, but I worry that he still can't cut a decent promo... he's decent enough in the ring, so who knows?

11TH Pick

Smackdown chooses

The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh to Smackdown

Draft Khali to Superstars damn it (yes I know it's cancelled).

12th Pick

Smackdown Chooses Jimmy Uso

I assumed he'd been future endevoured

13th Pick

Raw chooses Kelly Kelly

I'm surprised that shw was the only lady to switch brands... can't wait to see Kong squach her...

14th Pick

Raw chooses JTG

See Mark Henry above.

On the whole, a decent draft. Good mix-up with a few surprises. My predictions were pretty off. Let's hope that the draft gets some new interesting feuds going. Punk and Del Rio for a start... even if it means turning Punk face.

That Clown from Outta Town - WWE Draft 2011

Draft time. I don't think I've ever actually seen a draft before, so this should be interesting.

I actually saw a spoiler online by accident, so I know Cena and Orton are heading to Smackdown, but I stopped reading so I don't know the rest...not sure why they're sending two of their biggest stars to the 'b' show, but there we go.

LETS DO THIS

-Starting with a Battle Royale, my least favourite type of match...
- Daniel Bryan to win (yeah right)
- He was 5th from last to go to be fair
- Smackdown wins the first pick
- Cena...but I knew that already
- Cole v JR is the main event? I hope it's not the actual main event
- Here comes Truth
- 'Y'all gon stop with that What' 'WHAT'
- 'Y'all pissin me the hell off' Awesome promo, dude
- 'You know what?' 'WHAT'
- They keep letting him say 'pissed' but beeping the 'off'...makes no sense
- This promo is fucking weird...mainly because nobody is listening and just going 'WHAT' the whole time
- SARANARA ARIBADERCHY
- I wish Morrison had ambushed him 5 or 6 minutes earlier...that was terrible
- More Kong...can't wait
- Or Kharma as she now seems to be known
- Divas
- Cole interrupting the match on the mic...awesome
- Weird fucking brawl...the little brunette battering the big blonde, crying the whole time
- Rey's heading to RAW
- Lol, Zack Ryder...
- Rey's music is awesome. But, crap at the same time.
- Cody :D
- Cody's promos are awesome
- Kofi Kingston v Sheamus...interesting
- Woo Woo Woo sign in the audience...wonder if it'll get confiscated
- Kofi won...didn't see that coming
- Orton...so we're up to the point I already saw, the rest should be a proper surprise
- Cole v JR...Cole's probably going to win, but I'm sure it'll be a mess
- Best troll heel ever
- Cole just stomped on JR's hat...it's on now
- Looks like JR busted Cole's lip...didn't think they were allowed to bleed on WWE any more
- Flogging JR with his own belt...fucking hell
- Started as comedy, but it turned fucking nasty at the end
- The main event is gonna be a 'country whipping' match...what the fuck does that even mean
- Orton v Dolph...poor Dolph
- Actually...what the fuck kind of name is Dolph? Never occurred to me before, but what the fuck even is that
- Orton still with that Angle Slam
- Another pick for Smackdown
- Punk interrupting the draft pick
- Punk v Orton is gonna be a last man standing match :) No hail-mary RKOs, how can Orton possibly win?
- Orton's got stubble...I predict a heel turn once he gets to Smackdown
- Mark Henry and Sin Cara heading to Smackdown
- Wade Barrett v Rey Mysterio
- Rey wins, short match
- Big Show heading to RAW...but he's tag champ with Kane...
- Alberto Del Rio going to RAW also...more reason to believe Christian's gonna get that belt :D
- Teddy Long...I really don't like him on the mic
- Punk, Del Rio and Miz v Christian, Mark Henry and Cena...the entrances alone are gonna take about 10 mins
- Awesome Tornado DDT by Christian
- Mark Henry heel turns and takes out Cena
- And Christian
- Lol, Cena's been drafted back to RAW

Pretty cool RAW, it was basically all wrestling, (almost) no bullshit. The Cena thing was a waste of time, though.

I don't really see the draft picks as a big deal, if you watch both shows it doesn't really change anything significant...and half the time you get guys from one show appearing on the other anyway.

WWE Draft 2011 - predictions

It's draft time, and I have with Smackdown losing Edge, there really needs to a major shake-up.

Here's my suggestions:

John Cena to Smackdown

Bryan Danielson to Smackdown

Alberto Del Rio to Raw

Cody Rhodes to Raw

I'm predicting that Cena and Del Rio will win at the PPV and then the titles will switch brands... could be a great move.

Danielson is pretty much dead on Raw, a move to Smackdown to become a top babyface will be great for him.

Cody Rhodes' new gimmick is great, I'd love to see him on Raw.

Of course, the draft isn't such a big deal as it has been in the past due to a lot of cross-branded stuff on Raw.

That Clown from Outta Town - April 22nd Smackdown

Waiting for the videogame shop to get a delivery so I can play Portal 2...should be just enough time for Smackdown.

LETS DO THIS

- Corre stand to lose all the belts tonight...just in time for the draft
- Michael Cole trolling the fuck out of England
- Cody Rhodes :)
- Handing out paper bags to the crowd to cover their faces...I don't really get this promo, but it's awesome
- Rhodes and Mysterio keep putting on great matches...I'd kinda like to see a best of 5 series like the with MCMG v Beer Money
- Even the post-match brawl is good
- The couple's therapy promos are like the worst sitcom ever...worse than Gimme Gimme Gimme...worse than Two Pints...worse than My Family...
- But, to be fair, not as bad as a Mr Anderson promo
- Cole at it again
- KISS IT YOU PEASANT
- I wonder how many people around the world think that was really the Queen? I sure as fuck wouldn't recognise any world leaders apart from the Queen, Cameron, and Obama
- Who the fuck is Trent Barreta?
- Show and Kane about to batter a ginger and a dude with the most unrecognisable accent I've ever heard
- New champs...how the fuck is anyone ever going to get the belts off those two?
- Drew MacIntyre's music is still the worst song in all of wrestling
- Who the fuck is Chris Masters
- McIntyre is definitely a lot better than I remember him
- Literally 7 minutes of replays from RAW and earlier in the show...what
- IC title time
- Kofi didn't win :( Pretty decent match though
- Del Rio's retirement party for Edge...I'm guessing a lot of people are going to be pissed off about this one
- Fake Lita is awesome...but she does look like a sofa with legs. It might actually be the same fatty Pope had a month or so ago
- Del Rio's presents for Edge are awesome...adult diapers, a zimmerframe and a mobility scooter...Christian is about to come batter Del Rio, clearly
- I'm sure that promo sounded a lot funnier when they were writing it than it actually turned out to be
- Edge comes out with a mic :)
- Christian batters Brodus and Del Rio with a ladder, then climbs it and grabs the belt :) I really hope he wins it at the PPV

Decent show...Rhodes and Mysterio was the highlight, but the whole thing was great. I'm so glad I switched from iMPACT to Smackdown. I'm sure I'll get bored of all-WWE all the time though, so I might check out some ROH or something.

Anyway, Portal time :D

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW April 18th

I'm watching this week's RAW online as an experiment...the video's split into 10 parts, so I'm not even going to bother trying to keep track of the time.

I can't remember anything that happened last week apart from Edge, and the Cole/Swagger thing, so there's nothing I'm hugely looking forward to...

LET'S DO THIS

- They're in London :)
- R Truth
- 'Austen 3:16'...FFS, England
- Here comes Morrison
- Straight into a match for Truth's spot at the PPV
- The crowd do not give a fuck
- The sound's a second out of synch...really distracting
- FUCK YES MORRISON GETS A MOTHERFUCKING TITLE SHOT...this PPV is getting interesting
- Truth with some brutal looking knees after the match
- Truth smoking indoors...that'll be a £1000 fine iirc
- 'That's illegal' chant :)
- 'Think of the children R-Truth!'
- That was a really weird segment...the crowd were pretty funny though
- Evan Bourne :)
- Dolph's got a new haircut...looks...generic
- Quick win for Dolph
- Michael Cole to be knighted by the queen, apparently...I'm sure he'll just be taking the piss
- Miz taking over the ring and refusing to leave...not even slightly original
- Sin Cara about to batter Miz
- How the fuck does he jump over the top rope? He must have a springboard or something at ringside
- Pretty neat match
- Orton v Punk rematch :)
- New Kong teaser :)
- I cannot fucking wait until she shows up
- Divas
- Their queen is ridiculous...it's just an old woman...and she's tiny
- KISS THEM YOU PEASANT
- Santino time...I still can't decide if he's funny or if he makes me cringe
- Santino v Sheamus...should be over pretty quickly
- Orton v Punk time
- Orton with the Angle Slam again...kinda weird to see two guys communicating through wrestling moves
- SUPERPLEX
- Fucking hell, reversed the RKO into a kick to the head
- Really good match, shame the ending was a roll-up...that one match was better than the whole of Lockdown
- Obligatory Nexus run-in

Pretty cool Raw...and the main event was brilliant. Shame TNA can't put a show together this well to be honest...the talent over there is amazing but they're given fuck all to work with. In WWE, even the mediocre wrestlers look good because the show is so well made.

What happened to Daniel Bryan? Feels like I haven't seen him in ages.

TNA predictions revisited

I've watched Lockdown, and it was a mixed bag, but overall quite enjoyable.
"
LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains."

Short and sweet, mediocre match. Sting retained. Most of the stuff in the this match seemed to be double finishers... double Mic Check... double Scorpion Death Drop... double Scorpion Death Lock (this was possibly the gayest looking move ever).


"LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win."

This was a decent Lethal Lockdown, really entertaining, AJ returned, all good.
Daniels did a crazy jump from the cage that was captured beautifully... Matt Hardy did the same just as the camera was cutting away. Let's hope he's not injured...


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass."

Jarrett won, but it was great match. Angle is nuts, he took some crazy bumps in this and look like he nearly killed himself when getting powerbombed from the top rope and over rolling. Scary shit. Also, I'm pretty sure that Angle hit Jarrett with an RKO - probably because Orton did an Angle Slam at Mania.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win"

The entrance music was longer than the match. Mickie won, but her arm looked pretty fucked.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much."

Morgan won, and for a match between these two, it wasn't totally awful.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win."

Pretty decent match, loved seeing Pope getting a couple of muscle-busters... didn't like seeing Pope's bare ass... AND JOE WON CLEAN.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win."

This was a pretty confusing match, lots of spots, Bucks look great, little Buck won.

"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!"

Steiner made this match pretty deent by a whole bunch of suplexes, apart from that, it was pretty forgettable. Ink Inc won.


This wasn't a bad PPV, a couple of matches stood out, but there was a real disconnect with the crowd, not sure whether is was poor acoustics or something, but they sounded dead.

That Clown from Outta Town - Lockdown 2011

It's late, but I'm gonna be fast forwarding at least 2 of the matches so I'm gonna give Lockdown a watch.

LET'S DO THIS

04:31 - Ultimate Escape match...this should be awesome. Shame there's nothing on the line...Kaz is champ and he's in Lethal Lockdown.
5:12 - Robbie fucking E
08:14 - Sabin or Red to win
08:28 - Wait, it's tag style, not just a massive brawl?
11:09 - Suicide eliminated by Robbie E, didn't even use his finisher...FFS TNA
11:47 - I'm not sure who Suicide is now...Daniels and Kaz are both wrestling as themselves...is one of them doing double shifts, or is there a new Suicide?
12:20 - A Sabin v Lethal feud would be fucking awesome
14:17 - Red out to Sabin...Sabin to win
15:49 - Max Buck eliminates Sabin...uh...either Buck to win
19:57 - Robbie E eliminated, biggest cheer of the night so far
21:59 - Good match, but I feel like it could have been so much better
23:56 - Fucking Bischoff...it's a fucking PPV FFS just fuck off
26:38 - I think Bischoff actually thinks the fans are booing him solely because he's a heel...and not because he's shit on the mic...and his name is synonymous with utter failure and terrible wrestling shows
27:55 - 'We want wrestling' chant...totally agree
28:42 - TNA is a fucking shambles...if Immortal not having the belt is such a big deal, strip Sting of the title and give it to whoever...for fucks sake, we put up with all that bullshit for them to take control, and now they have control they don't use it...WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT...a FUCKING LAPTOP in WWE has more power than these fucking clowns
31:44 - Tag time...Crimson and Steiner to win
34:43 - A cage match where you're not allowed to escape the cage...TN fucking A
37:39 - This commentary is terrible...2 old men making gay jokes directed at Orlando Jordan...it's a sad state of affairs when Michael Cole is preferable to anything
41:41 - Just realised OJ & Eric are wearing Jimmy Snuka pants...someone's coming off the top of the cage :)
43:45 - Young escaped but didn't win (I DO NOT UNDERSTAND), dressed as Jimmy Snuka but didn't jump off the top of cage...FFS TNA
47:02 - Knockouts
52:37 - over in less than a minute...I'm guessing they cut it short so they can add a whole bunch of bullshit to the main event
55:14 - JOE v POPE FUCK YEAH JOE EAT HIS BRAIN AND PUKE IT DOWN HIS THROAT
57:20 - FUCK YEAH JOE'S BACK AT PPV MOTHERFUCKERS ABOUT FUCKING TIME
66:43 - COME ON JOE FUCKING KILL HIM
67:10 - Pope hanging off the cage with his arse hanging out
68:42 - Joe gets the win...was a bit more even than I was hoping for, Joe should be dominating the pope with ease
70:15 - Hernandez v Morgan...fast forwarding
87:24 - Karen interview...is it Kurt time already?
91:33 - This should be the main event...I might cut my losses after the match and just stop watching
93:10 - How awesome would it be if Angle locked the cage from the inside, and beat the living shit out of Jarrett for real
95:25 - Just remembered it best of 3 falls :D
96:32 - 1st fall is submission only...referee does a pinfall when Kurt has his shoulders on the mat. Typical fucking TNA
99:36 - Angle just reversed an armbar into an ankle lock...fucking hell
99:47 - First fall already??
104:10 - Jarrett's kicking out of angle slams now? When the fuck did that happen?
108:43 - 5 consecutive German suplexes by Angle
111:21 - Holy shit that was a bad landing...looked like Angle was going for a top rope hurracarana, but Jarrett thought it was supposed to be a powerbomb...Kurt landed right on his head
112:15 - Phew, he's ok...top rope Angle slam :)
113:58 - Top of cage moonsault...wasn't even close
117:28 - Screwjob. Piece of shit...there were 2 matches on the whole card that looked any good, and this one was ruined. And it means the Angle Jarrett feud will continue.
123:51 - The title match isn't even the main event.
125:14 - Actually, I don't give a shit about this match, fast forwarding to the screwjob
138:04 - Sting retains, no thanks to a bullshit ending
144:36 - Don't give a fuck about Lethal Lockdown either, fastforwarding to the screwjob again
168:24 - AJ's back Fortune won, their name now makes no sense because there's 5 of them

That was shit. I might actually not even bother watching the PPVs. The last 3 matches were all screwjobs. WWE is so much better it's not even funny any more.

That Clown from Outta Town - Smackdown, April 15th

I don't even like Smackdown, but it's gotta be better than iMPACT, right?

LET'S DO THIS

0:29 - Ricardo Rodriguez is a fucking weird looking dude...like a frog with a toupe
1:52 - Cole's on Smackdown too??
5:36 - Teddy Long's still in it?
7:04 - 20-man battle royale to face Del Rio for the vacant title...battle royales suck
9:51 - Kofi Kingston vs a brick wall
17:49 - Cody Rhodes...his gimmick is fucking awesome
21:23 - Kong teaser again...still fucking awesome
22:23 - Drew McIntyre...his music is terrible...possibly the worst music in pro wrestling today...worse even that the old MCMG music...
32:46 - That was actually pretty good. I always thought McIntyre was a bit bland and boring, but he was good in that one.
35:34 - Edge coming out to surrender the belt...it does all seem sudden as fuck
50:14 - Divas
61:12 - 40 mins left and already going to the Battle Royale?
64:37 - Christian or Cody to win
67:28 - Christian to win
69:54 - Mysterio pretending to be a turnbuckle...best camouflage ever
75:06 - FINAL 2 COME THE FUCK ON CHRISTIAN
78:22 - FUCK YEAH CHRISTIAN GETS A FUCKING TITLE SHOT bet he'll win it too cos of Edge
81:37 - One last 5 second pose :)
82:01 - And the entire locker room comes out to applaud edge

That was an awesome Smackdown...better than RAW, even. Although, the whole Edge thing probably had a lot to do with it.

I'm struggling to remember why I used to prefer TNA to WWE...

Socko Swerve Spoiler

TNA continues to baffle on Challenge TV. I've decided I can't fight it, its time to go along with the madness, become one with the madness, and enjoy the ride.

Now I understand where its going. I understand why Ric Flair claims to be God yet spends his time in a wrestling promotion and why Hulk Hogan can have 100% of the company but still have to follow the mysterious instructions of The Network.

Mental Illness.

I think The Network is all in Hulk Hogans mind. I think when he speaks to them on the phone it doesn't even have batteries in, like Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead when he find the only way to cope with the trauma, grief and guilt of his situation is to talk to his dead wife using a broken phone. The pile drivers, the powerslams and the kind of detachment from reality that leads a man to star in "Santa With Muscles" all indicate that the man is ill. This might explain why he thinks the bandana fools us into thinking he has a full head of hair; this might explain why he posted a Twitter video of him having a shit.

Is Eric Bischoff even real? Is he an “A Beautiful Mind” type flight of fancy? I don’t know if we ever see people talk to Bischoff as if he wasn’t there, partly because he’s always in Hogans shadow, partly because, as I say, I’ve become one with the madness.

TNA might just turn into Fight Club but you know, without the fights.

That Clown from Outta Town - 3 FUCKING iMPACTs

I’ve finished watching Derren now, so it’s time to catch up with iMPACT…3 iMPACTs in a row…fuck.

LETS DO THIS

01:26 - Starting with an Anderson promo…again
05:33 - Sting interrupting one of the dumbest starts to an iMPACT…possibly ever
06:35 - FUCK YEAH I FUCKING LOVE BRAWLING
07:11 - But wait, there’s more! Here comes RVD!
08:10 - Here come Hogan and Bisch…WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THEY’D GET INVOLVED
09:50 - Guaranteed screw job for the main event…great fucking news, eh?
12:44 - Shannon v Steiner…FUCK HIM UP SCOTTY…LITERALLY RIP HIS FACE OFF
14:09 - TNA…Total Nonstop Promos
15:50 - Jarrett trying to get out of his Angle match like a fucking baby
16:23 - Eric Young and OJ on guest commentary…I’d rather they got a match tbh
18:37 - I wish they’d commentate the match instead of making gay innuendos
20:43 - I haven’t bothered mentioning this before because it’s so fucking obvious, but Shannon and Jesse are going to split up and feud because of Shannon’s ‘disrespect’.
22:14 - FRANKENSTEINER…not the greatest match, but the FRANKENSTEINER made up for it
23:21 - What the fuck is OJ wearing…I thought he’d toned down his gimmick a little, but that’s just…fucking weird
23:31 - Magnus and Williams are back together…does this mean Wolfe is getting a solo push? Probably not, he’d only show up the main eventers
24:33 - Anderson is a terrible comedian.
25:24 - This ‘The Jarretts’ soap opera they shoehorn into iMPACT is terrible
26:36 - Gen Me are gonna feud…THIS SHOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME
27:41 - Straight into a match…no buildup, no feud, no reason to care. FFS TNA
28:30 - Fucking nice so far
30:49 - This is awesome…this is old TNA…please put these guys in a cage at Lockdown
31:26 - Max wins with some kind of Diamond Dust variant…that was brilliant, the best iMPACT match in months…maybe the best TNA match
32:41 - Angelina and Winter in a hypnotism angle…in fucking 2011.
35:04 - Velvet v Winter…I’m actually gonna check this one out
40:08 - Actually a fairly decent match…the hypnotism thing is fucking stupid though
40:41 - ANOTHER FUCKING ANDERSON PROMO WTF TNA
41:38 - I wonder if the wrestlers in TNA watch WWE…do they know just how bad this show is compared to the competition?
42:55 - They have to be trolling. There is no fucking way anyone could think this would make for a decent show. There’s just no way.
44:41 - Total Nonstop Anderson
45:49 - Immortal have come out to batter Anderson and Sting…RVD’s gonna come out and make the save, guaran-fucking-teed
46:31 - I FUCKING TOLD YOU
48:25 - The Jarretts again…terrible
53:30 - Angle time :D I think he’s fighting Rob ‘Steroid Monster’ Terry
57:03 - Angle destroyed him in like 2-3 minutes…the only 3 minute match that actually makes sense
1:00:14 - Up next…a fucking screwjob…er, I mean, the main event!
1:00:53 - Main event with 25 minutes left? This is gonna be as stupid as last week, I can feel it in my bones
1:03:50 - The bullshit started before the match did
1:06:58 - Hogan’s coming out…because the match wasn’t fucked enough already
1:16:30 - DANIELS IS BACK FUCK YEAH
1:16:40 - And takes out all of Immortal from the top of the cage
1:22:04 - These post-main event reactions are a terrible idea…the point is to have a fucking cliffhanger…if you carry on from the cliffhanger it’s not a fucking cliffhanger

That was terrible. Gen Me put on an awesome match, the Knockouts match was pretty decent, everything else was fucking awful.

WHERE WAS JOE?

Ok, next one.

01:39 - Here comes Daniels :) He appears to be the leader of Fortune now, after being back 5 minutes...
09:29 - The Network can hire wrestlers now??
13:12 - Well, that was a waste of 13 minutes...that's about 3 matches on TNA
15:38 - Hernandez & Mex Pac on their way to the ring
16:52 - Dreamer & Devon are now a tag team, apparently
19:12 - That was roughly 2 minutes...what the fuck was the point?
21:48 - FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHHH SAMOA JOE
22:13 - Joe v Murphy? if Murphy wins, I'm gonna be pissed. Even if it's a screwjob
23:49 - That was less than a minute, I'm sure...I'm gonna go back and time it
23:52 - 49 seconds bell-to-bell. 49 seconds of Joe in 2 weeks is not enough
26:10 - Knockouts...looks like the hypnotism angle is still going on
29:09 - What is with all the short matches this week...3 matches, lasting roughly 5 minutes total...in the meantime, a promo got 13 minutes
35:07 - This is all Anderson...boring as fuck
47:59 - Six man X-division tag match...I didn't realise they still had the X-Division
53:59 - This is boring as fuck...lame show
57:53 - Daniels v Ray lumberjack match...I don't give a fuck about it
69:20 - Terrible Jarrett promo that makes no fucking sense whatsoever
71:15 - Angle just flew into the ring on a zipline, like an angry Batman...that was fucking awesome
72:49 - The main event will be nowhere near as good as the zipline
77:10 - Main event starting, less than 7 minutes left...including the obligatory post match bullshit/interviews
82:52 - Oh for fucks sake, Anderson in Immortal
84:03 - And he's out...

Boring as fuck. Only good bit was the zipline.

One more, and then I can rest...

01:59 - Starting with Immortal...FFS
06:39 - Fuck this is awful
07:52 - What in the fuck is a mammajamma
17:06 - Not the greatest 4-way I've ever seen...the in-ring action took second place to all the storyline bullshit on the outside
19:06 - Matt v Kaz...not hugely optimistic about this to be honest
26:51 - Decent length match...that's all it had going for it.
34:26 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE FUCK EM UP JOE EAT THEIR FUCKING HEARTS
41:44 - Joe loses by screwjob...fucking TNA. Maybe I'll switch to Smackdown instead
43:31 - I'm so fucking sick of the Immortal music
50:30 - I'm pretty sure TNA are pumping in crowd sound effects...I can hear boos, but the crowd all look like this (click to enlarge):













Which is exactly how I feel watching it.
52:21 - WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO ABYSS' MUSIC FFS TNA THAT IS TERRIBLE AND THE OLD MUSIC WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT
58:29 - I've been watching the crowd and listening for a while, and I'm pretty sure they're pumping in crowd music...this'll probably be my last iMPACT just because of that. I'll still check out the PPV's, but I'll give Smackdown a try now...
61:15 - "...as of lately..."
61:47 - The hypnotism angle is terrible...why are they doing this in 2011? It would fit just fine in the late 80's early 90's...here, it just looks fucking stupid
66:12 - Fucking Anderson again

That was terrible.

Fuck.

TNA Lockdown - predictions

Hmm, I forgot about this one, even after watching the go home show on Impact.
Anyways, lets have look at my Lockdown predictions...

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains.


LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win.

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!

Not pumped for this at all. I usually look forward to Lockdown, but the booking on TNa of late has been pretty terrible.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, April 11th

I've been watching the complete Derren Brown over the last week or two, so I haven't seen too much wrestling...I heard about the Edge thing though so I'm taking a break from having my mind fucked with to check it out.

LET'S DO THIS

01:34 - Here comes Cena...
04:50 - Cena's claiming the Rock/Cena match will be for the belt...how in the fuck can you predict something like that...and what about the Rumble?
5:30 - Cena calls out Miz, Orton comes to the ring...
7:24 - John Morrison's coming out :) I'd love to see him get a title run
08:30 - And Vickie/Dolph...this is starting to seem like something that should have happened backstage
10:06 - R-Truth now? What?
12:38 - 5-man gauntlet...I reckon Cena is one of the first 2, pins the fuck out of everyone, Orton is last, Cena wins...
13:47 - Awesome Kong promo...FUCK YES
15:33 - Divas
19:13 - Not the greatest match...stupid screwjob as well. The twins switch places, so Eve marks their hands so they can't switch...so they switch anyway...one gets kicked out...and the other one gets the win anyway
21:09 - Sin Cara...he's got his debut already. I figured he'd do run-ins for a few weeks first.
21:47 - Sin Cara vs literally a jobber
22:20 - My bad, that guy actually is somebody apparently
23:36 - Sin Cara looks damn good...again
26:42 - Sin Cara's finisher is Kaz's old one...one of my favourite moves of all time
29:29 - Oh yay, a Corre promo
31:27 - Interrupted...thank fuck for that
32:47 - That was terrible
35:40 - Santino completely whiffed a spinning backfist...ginger fella sold it, everyone carried on as if nothing happened
37:09 - Swagger v King
39:53 - Cole is actually more annoying than Fonzie at ringside...I had no idea that was possible
51:33 - Edge time
63:11 - Fucking hell...I feel bad for the guy...wonder what's happening with the belt?
65:37 - Miz on commentary for the main event
66:15 - Orton's the first guy to the ring...I was way out
67:40 - Ziggler's number 2...guy has no chance
70:52 - Orton got screwd by Nexus...didn't see that coming, Ziggler actually made it to round 2
71:59 - R Truth up next
76:30 - Ziggler out, Morrison in...fuck 'em up, John
81:47 - Morrison out...Truth v Cena
89:33 - What in the fuck is is a double disqualification

Pretty average RAW except for Edge...Nothing really memorable except Sin Cara wrestling-wise.

The main event wasn't great, and the ending to the main event was terrible. There's no decent feuds going on at the moment. Although, it's still better than the 6 hour iMPACT marathon I'll have to do to catch up with TNA.