I’ve finished watching Derren now, so it’s time to catch up with iMPACT…3 iMPACTs in a row…fuck.
LETS DO THIS
01:26 - Starting with an Anderson promo…again
05:33 - Sting interrupting one of the dumbest starts to an iMPACT…possibly ever
06:35 - FUCK YEAH I FUCKING LOVE BRAWLING
07:11 - But wait, there’s more! Here comes RVD!
08:10 - Here come Hogan and Bisch…WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THEY’D GET INVOLVED
09:50 - Guaranteed screw job for the main event…great fucking news, eh?
12:44 - Shannon v Steiner…FUCK HIM UP SCOTTY…LITERALLY RIP HIS FACE OFF
14:09 - TNA…Total Nonstop Promos
15:50 - Jarrett trying to get out of his Angle match like a fucking baby
16:23 - Eric Young and OJ on guest commentary…I’d rather they got a match tbh
18:37 - I wish they’d commentate the match instead of making gay innuendos
20:43 - I haven’t bothered mentioning this before because it’s so fucking obvious, but Shannon and Jesse are going to split up and feud because of Shannon’s ‘disrespect’.
22:14 - FRANKENSTEINER…not the greatest match, but the FRANKENSTEINER made up for it
23:21 - What the fuck is OJ wearing…I thought he’d toned down his gimmick a little, but that’s just…fucking weird
23:31 - Magnus and Williams are back together…does this mean Wolfe is getting a solo push? Probably not, he’d only show up the main eventers
24:33 - Anderson is a terrible comedian.
25:24 - This ‘The Jarretts’ soap opera they shoehorn into iMPACT is terrible
26:36 - Gen Me are gonna feud…THIS SHOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME
27:41 - Straight into a match…no buildup, no feud, no reason to care. FFS TNA
28:30 - Fucking nice so far
30:49 - This is awesome…this is old TNA…please put these guys in a cage at Lockdown
31:26 - Max wins with some kind of Diamond Dust variant…that was brilliant, the best iMPACT match in months…maybe the best TNA match
32:41 - Angelina and Winter in a hypnotism angle…in fucking 2011.
35:04 - Velvet v Winter…I’m actually gonna check this one out
40:08 - Actually a fairly decent match…the hypnotism thing is fucking stupid though
40:41 - ANOTHER FUCKING ANDERSON PROMO WTF TNA
41:38 - I wonder if the wrestlers in TNA watch WWE…do they know just how bad this show is compared to the competition?
42:55 - They have to be trolling. There is no fucking way anyone could think this would make for a decent show. There’s just no way.
44:41 - Total Nonstop Anderson
45:49 - Immortal have come out to batter Anderson and Sting…RVD’s gonna come out and make the save, guaran-fucking-teed
46:31 - I FUCKING TOLD YOU
48:25 - The Jarretts again…terrible
53:30 - Angle time :D I think he’s fighting Rob ‘Steroid Monster’ Terry
57:03 - Angle destroyed him in like 2-3 minutes…the only 3 minute match that actually makes sense
1:00:14 - Up next…a fucking screwjob…er, I mean, the main event!
1:00:53 - Main event with 25 minutes left? This is gonna be as stupid as last week, I can feel it in my bones
1:03:50 - The bullshit started before the match did
1:06:58 - Hogan’s coming out…because the match wasn’t fucked enough already
1:16:30 - DANIELS IS BACK FUCK YEAH
1:16:40 - And takes out all of Immortal from the top of the cage
1:22:04 - These post-main event reactions are a terrible idea…the point is to have a fucking cliffhanger…if you carry on from the cliffhanger it’s not a fucking cliffhanger
That was terrible. Gen Me put on an awesome match, the Knockouts match was pretty decent, everything else was fucking awful.
WHERE WAS JOE?
Ok, next one.
01:39 - Here comes Daniels :) He appears to be the leader of Fortune now, after being back 5 minutes...
09:29 - The Network can hire wrestlers now??
13:12 - Well, that was a waste of 13 minutes...that's about 3 matches on TNA
15:38 - Hernandez & Mex Pac on their way to the ring
16:52 - Dreamer & Devon are now a tag team, apparently
19:12 - That was roughly 2 minutes...what the fuck was the point?
21:48 - FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHHH SAMOA JOE
22:13 - Joe v Murphy? if Murphy wins, I'm gonna be pissed. Even if it's a screwjob
23:49 - That was less than a minute, I'm sure...I'm gonna go back and time it
23:52 - 49 seconds bell-to-bell. 49 seconds of Joe in 2 weeks is not enough
26:10 - Knockouts...looks like the hypnotism angle is still going on
29:09 - What is with all the short matches this week...3 matches, lasting roughly 5 minutes total...in the meantime, a promo got 13 minutes
35:07 - This is all Anderson...boring as fuck
47:59 - Six man X-division tag match...I didn't realise they still had the X-Division
53:59 - This is boring as fuck...lame show
57:53 - Daniels v Ray lumberjack match...I don't give a fuck about it
69:20 - Terrible Jarrett promo that makes no fucking sense whatsoever
71:15 - Angle just flew into the ring on a zipline, like an angry Batman...that was fucking awesome
72:49 - The main event will be nowhere near as good as the zipline
77:10 - Main event starting, less than 7 minutes left...including the obligatory post match bullshit/interviews
82:52 - Oh for fucks sake, Anderson in Immortal
84:03 - And he's out...
Boring as fuck. Only good bit was the zipline.
One more, and then I can rest...
01:59 - Starting with Immortal...FFS
06:39 - Fuck this is awful
07:52 - What in the fuck is a mammajamma
17:06 - Not the greatest 4-way I've ever seen...the in-ring action took second place to all the storyline bullshit on the outside
19:06 - Matt v Kaz...not hugely optimistic about this to be honest
26:51 - Decent length match...that's all it had going for it.
34:26 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE FUCK EM UP JOE EAT THEIR FUCKING HEARTS
41:44 - Joe loses by screwjob...fucking TNA. Maybe I'll switch to Smackdown instead
43:31 - I'm so fucking sick of the Immortal music
50:30 - I'm pretty sure TNA are pumping in crowd sound effects...I can hear boos, but the crowd all look like this (click to enlarge):
Which is exactly how I feel watching it.
52:21 - WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO ABYSS' MUSIC FFS TNA THAT IS TERRIBLE AND THE OLD MUSIC WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT
58:29 - I've been watching the crowd and listening for a while, and I'm pretty sure they're pumping in crowd music...this'll probably be my last iMPACT just because of that. I'll still check out the PPV's, but I'll give Smackdown a try now...
61:15 - "...as of lately..."
61:47 - The hypnotism angle is terrible...why are they doing this in 2011? It would fit just fine in the late 80's early 90's...here, it just looks fucking stupid
66:12 - Fucking Anderson again
That was terrible.
Fuck.
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