9/5 RAW

I've decided I'm finally going to complete Xcom, after 15 or more years. It's going pretty well...but only thanks to shocking amounts of savescumming. Although, I guess it's not so bad by today's standards, quicksave/quickload is pretty much standard.

But anyway, the point is I've been so wrapped up in that I haven't checked out the week's wrestling yet...so LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Del Rio...no ‘last time on Raw’ thingie since last week was shit and nothing happened
- Del Rio v Mysterio...battle of the Mexicans
- Miz :/ It was starting to get interesting, too
- What in the fuck is this R-Truth promo? It’s awful...he must be trolling
- I really think he’s lost his mind
- Truth doesn’t get in the triple threat...
- Ricardo Rodriguez pulled off a dropkick? Impressive for a guy his size...actually that's a lie, it was sloppy as fuck.
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONGS GONNA FUCKING EAT YOU
- Lame match...it's gotta be Kong time soon
- HERE IT FUCKING COMES YOU GONNA DIE
- 3/4 Divas ran away, the one that didn't got completely destroyed :) Can't wait for her to get a proper match
- CM PUNK FUCK YEAH
- Oh, he's cornering Mason Ryan :/
- Against Kane :/
- Mason Ryan is like a competent Rob Terry
- Zack Ryder sign :)
- Santino v Ziggler
- Not much of a match...Ziggler just battered him...his tan is fucking ridiculous, by the way...
- Another Truth promo...he's mental...I think his new gimmick is, he's actually a crackhead
- Cena fistpumping with Zack Ryder
- Alex Riley calling out Cena...wat
- I'd love it if Riley won and became champ...like a reverse Christian or something
- Cole time
- Swagger v Kofi for the US title...I like them both, but I hope Swagger wins. He's awesome, but he's been tied up with the Cole feud for like 3 months now
- Ok match, not even close to potential
- Cole's face when Lawler had his tie is the best thing so far on RAW this week
- ECW's Little Guido is a ref now? Awesome :)
- Promo for Orton's new movie...an anti-bullying movie...YAWN
- Skipping to the main event...
- 3 Signs...1 USA sign and 2 for Zack Ryder :D
- Pretty good main event actually...Mysterio looked great, Del Rio had moments where he looked fucking brilliant, Miz...looked like Miz. The wrong guy won, for sure.
- Miz v Cena in an I Quit match at the PPV...boring main event, hope the rest of the show makes up for it
- Watching part of this on Youtube...accidentally looked at the comments section...fucking hell people are stupid

Not a bad RAW, not a great RAW. Just a RAW.

Smackdown May 5th

After this week's RAW, I hope we get a decent Smackdown at least. Christian's the champ and Kong might show up, so how bad can it be?

LET'S DO THIS

- 'Push Zack Ryder' sign in the audience
- Sharks circling in the water already...Mark Henry coming out to interrupt Christian...you know that belt's not staying with him for long...
- Khali coming out too...this is starting to look like a very weird episode of Oz
- Did Khali just call Christian 'Kitchen'?
- Randy Orton...I think that's checkmate for Christian :/
- Teddy Long...he's so...fucking annoying...he pauses...every two...words. I wish...he'd just...talk normally.
- Teddy just called Christian 'Kristen'...nobody can say his fucking name
- Christian v Orton tonight :( I guess a one-week title reign is better than no title reign, right? Shame he didn't get to keep hold of it till the PPV though
- SHEAMUS v DANIEL BRYAN FUCK YEAH KILL HIM BRYAN
- I hope this match is revenge for Daniel Bryan, the last two matches they've had Sheamus dominated
- Sheamus dominating again...I hope this'll mean a miracle comeback
- Ridiculous missile dropkick from Daniel Bryan
- Sheamus countered a suicide dive with a big boot...it's all over :( Still, closest match yet...Bryan nearly had him with a submission...
- CODY FUCKING RHODES FUCK YEAH
- "I forced Rey Mysterio to expose himself"...let's just stick to talking about wrestling, eh?
- Standard Cody promo...but a standard Cody promo is fucking awesome so I'm not complaining
- Big Show v Ezekiel Jackson...first Zeke singles match I've seen...don't see him getting through Show though
- He not only beat him, but he actually looked pretty impressive doing it
- 7 minute replay of Rock's birthday on RAW...that was a lot of fast forwarding
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONG'S GONNA KILL YOU
- HERE COMES KONG YOU FUCKING DEAD NOW
- Sin Cara v Tyson Kidd...who the fuck is Tyson Kidd? His hair is fucking awful
- Oh I remember, he's one of the Hard Dynasty guys
- Sin Cara wins with the Aeon Flux...I fucking LOVE that move...He's quickly becoming one of my favourite guys in WWE, I love the luchadore style
- WWE promoting anti-bullying, after the way they treated that 'Skidmarks' guy on Tough Enough? They called him 'Skidmarks' from day one, they were constantly berating him for minor things, they prevented him from training because he stumbled stepping into the ring, and Booker assaulted him in front of all the other contestants...fucking hypocrites, for real
- Main event time...LETS GO CHRISTIAN (even though you're obviously going to lose)
- New champ :( I like Orton, but it sucks for Christian to lose the belt so soon. Really good match though.

Pretty cool Smackdown, way better than RAW

Worst Raw Ever!

I'm not going to say too much here, but I do have one question: which segment was worst on this show? Was it when the woman came out and sang? Was it when the guy came out and sang? Was it when that other woman came out and sang? Was it when Rock did the pledge of alegience? Was it the Morrison/Truth match? The ending of the Cena/Miz match? Was it the crap comedy that saw Khali in a tutu? Was it the soundbites of 'celebrities' - most of whom I had new idea who they were? Was it when Vince came out an stuck his nose so far up the Rock's ass that you could make out his face through his stomach?
Awful, awful show. I hope that Rock never dies, retires or ages another year again... I also hope that the US army never kill an old guy again... this show was horrible.

RAW, May 2nd 2011

Not too sure about tonight's RAW, it's a 'Rock's Birthday Special'...doesn't sound too interesting, but there's a decent chance Kong will kill another Diva so I'm watching anyway.

LETS DO THIS

- I'm already sick of hearing about Osama, he's only been dead two days...I don't want to hear about this shit on a wrestling show..FUCK OFF
- National Anthem? You are fucking kidding me
- Right, fast forwarded 5 minutes of shit I don't care about LETS START THE FUCKING SHOW
- Miz v Cena rematch...as if Miz has the remotest of fucking chances
- HERE COMES ROCKY
- Now Rock's going on about this shit...FFS, if I wanted to watch people going on and on about shit I don't care about I'd watch TNA
- God damn this is a boring promo from The Rock...I thought it'd be a lame-ass special episode, but I didn't realise it'd be this bad
- Rock just battered Cole...I thought it was the end of a terrible segment, but he's STILL FUCKING TALKING
- Oh my god, some bald cunt is singing a terrible, terrible pop song...I WANT TO SEE SOME FUCKING WRESTLING WHAT IS THIS SHIT
- Right, after a bit of fast forwarding it's Morrison v Truth...normally I'd be happy to see this match, but I'm still pissed off about the screwjob at the PPV...tempted to give up on RAW and just wait for Smackdown...but Kong'll probably be here at some point
- Looks like the match is getting called off because of a pre-match beating by Truth :/
- Divas...KONG TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
- Lol, one move into the match and Kong shows up...YOU ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE
- Cena v Miz...fast forwarding because I don't give a shit
- Cena retained what a fucking surprise
- JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE GOING ON ABOUT FUCKING OSAMA AGAIN
- Swagger & McIntryre v Rey Mysterio and Kofi

The stream's died so I can't watch the rest for now, given how bad the rest of it was I don't think I'll bother tbh.

Extreme Rules 2011

I really need to remember not to go on Reddit the day after wrestling...three matches spoiler'd :/ Still, should be a good show so

LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Punk v Orton? I would have thought that was way further up the card
- Nexus kicked out of ringside...this match ought to be fucking awesome
- That beard has to mean a heel turn for Orton
- "Revenge is the ultimate payback" - fantastic commentary, Booker
- "...on that hard steel floor; on that hard concrete..." Booker's on fire tonight
- Very cool match, Orton won with a top rope RKO...he seems to have won every single match in this feud :/
- Sheamus v Kofi in a tables match
- Pretty decent...nothing special considering it was a table match though
- Country Whipping match time...I still don't know what that means
- Cole coming out wrapped in bubble wrap
- Cole won with a roll-up...THE FEUD THAT REFUSED TO DIE
- Cody Rhodes is so fucking awesome...best gimmick in wrestling today
- Cody v Rey...this should be awesome
- The crowd seem pretty flat tonight
- Mysterio is doing the green mist now??
- Decent enough match...faces win every single match in the WWE though, better than constant screwjobs but still predictable as fuck
- Divas...I don't give a shit about the match, but I do know that Kong shows up and presumably wrecks everybody's shit so there's that to look forward to
- Layla does the Diamond Dust? Impressed.
- More 2-counts than Taker v HHH
- Pretty decent match, better than I was expecting
- FUCK YEAH AWESOME KONG YOU GONNA DIE BLONDIE
- Lays out McCool, cuts to the Divas watching on a monitor, all look like 'oh shit', fucking awesome...she could stop doing that stupid laugh and I wouldn't complain, though
- Ladder match time :D I know Christian wins, but I still want to watch the whole thing. Does that make it just him and Angle who have been both TNA and WWE champs? In terms of the main belt, at least? Obv the Dudleys were tag champs in both etc etc
- Biggest chant of the night so far, and it's for Christian :)
- Christian doing the Spear :) I fucking knew he'd do it
- Christian got busted open...didn't see it happen, looked like it may be from struggling during the cross arm breaker through the ladder
- Edge shows up in a jeep, Brodus Clay is bleeding like crazy, a huge pool of blood on the mat where he fell...looks like most of the blood on Christian might actually be from Clay...CHRISTIAN IS THE FUCKING CHAMPION FUCK YEAH
- Great match, easily match of the night so far
- Saying he won because of Edge is bollocks...he was seconds from winning when Clay got involved, so if there were no run-ins he would have won anyway...all Edge did was even the odds.
- Shit Miz promo is shit
- Lumberjack tag match? What is this shit...
- Who actually likes lumberjack matches, seriously? There's never been a good lumberjack match, ever
- Barrett and Jackson are an unbelievably dull tag team
- That was pretty shit, but thankfully also pretty short
- Lumberjacks are brawling...ffs
- Main event time
- Bad landing for Miz
- Morrison totally deserves to win this, he's miles better than the other two
- Fucked up landing on that monkey flip...Morrison was bouncing around like he was doing The Worm
- FFS Morrison could have won the match, but did a Starship Pain off the top of the cage instead...it was cool and all, but it looked so fucking stupid when he could have just won the thing
- YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME R TRUTH FUCK YOU YOU CUNT
- This is bullshit, it's like I'm watching TNA or something
- Cena wins...I'm glad they took the belt off the Miz, but I'm pissed off that Morrison got so close only to get screwed...if he'd just got battered and been nowhere close I wouldn't have minded, but to have him basically win the match and then get screwed is fucking stupid. I really hope Cena doesn't keep the belt for the next 11 months just for his one match with The Rock.

An okay PPV, Christian v Del Rio was the highlight followed by the Divas match...everything else ranged somewhere between decent and mediocre.

WWE - Extreme Rules - predictions

It's Extreme Rules time again... and we know that it won't live up to its name. Judging from the card the matches seem quite thin on the ground, so predictions shouldn't take too long:

John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison - WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match

This could be quite a good match. I hope Morrison wins, I hope Cena doesn't. Based on that I'm sure Miz will retain.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match)

Christian will win this one. I really can't see both titles going to Raw, but I've been wrong on stuff like this before.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk (Last Man Standing Match)

This will probably be the best match of the night, I can see Punk losing again and taking a long holiday afterwards.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

Not sure why they need a falls count anwhere match, but hey, why not? I'm thinking that Rhodes won at Mania, Mysterio won on Smackdown... Mysterio to win.

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole & Jack Swagger (Country Whipping Match)

Ah, a good ol' country whipping match... whatever that means. This will be shit, but Cole will probably win.

Layla vs. Michelle McCool (Loser Leaves WWE Match)

This seems to have come from nowhere, maybe it's because I don't really pay attention to Divas. Layla to win...

Just watch this

The first 1:20 or so...I actually can't believe this is real, and completely unironic.



THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED