Another week another iMPACT. My only hopes going in is that this is not as much of a piece of shit as the last two weeks. We're due a decent episode...0:36 - They're bigging up this tag match as if it's something to look forward to...who gives a fuck, it's going to be like 1/10 as good as any of the established tag teams going at it.
1:54 - Oh for fuck's sake. Starting the show with Hogan and Bischoff coming to the ring? I only hope that Sting shows up and brains them both with his bat. If Abyss went after these two with Janice, you would not hear any complaints from this direction.
3:15 - Hogan is actually terrible on the mic
3:54 - Are we actually going to see any wrestling tonight? They're doing five entrances before there's even a match. Plus whoever is in the match, so that'll be at least seven.
4:49 - Fuck this, fast forwarding
7:20 - I wish Hogan and Bischoff didn't say anything that impacted the storylines...I'd love to be able to fast forward their shitty promos and still follow the show
8:10 - KILL THEM ALL ABYSS
9:42 - He just wants to talk :( At least they've ret-conned 'They' being Fortune...that was just fucking stupid
10:33 - Abyss is absolutely owning Hogan on the mic
11:43 - Brilliantly timed advert - right in the middle of a promo. Good job TNA.
13:25 - Wait, they didn't even finish that promo? Just cut straight to the Knockouts? Oh my fuck, it just keeps getting worse
20:51 - Oh, Tara's taken her mask off. Did anyone actually not know it was her?
21:58 - 22 minutes in and I've actually watched about 8 minutes of this...I'm fast forwarding huge chunks. It actually makes the show a lot better.
24:04 - Abyss v Stevie. This will be over real fast. Poor Stevie.
26:54 - You Suck chant for Abyss? Is it 'morons get in free' night or something? Just because someone has a heel turn doesn't mean they automatically stop being decent wrestlers you fucking retards
27:24 - Stevie Richards won? What the hell? I'm guessing he'll get Janiced later
28:27 - Foley's got some kind of ankle injury
29:10 - Brian Kendrick makes the save?? TNA just makes less sense as time goes on
30:25 - If Angle loses the tag match, will he quit wrestling? Who am I kidding, no way will Angle lose the tag match
31:49 - Jeff v Sting. I hope it's a replay of their last match.
32:07 - God more ECW v Flair shit.
33:26 - 'You suck' chants for AJ. Christ, this crowd is awful.
35:51 - Tommy Dreamer tells Fortune they suck. Seconds later, he opens his mouth and he's eating a cough sweet. Who sucks now, Tommy. Who sucks now.
38:59 - Sting has the red face paint on? He was talking with Nash a moment ago in his white face paint. And Nash has changed his outfit too. FFS TNA, you've had nearly a week to redo this so it makes sense.
39:53 - Damn, looks like they're actually going to have a match...I was hoping for a quick beatdown and pin again
43:01 - Some decent work done, but overall it was a crap match with a crap finish
43:31 - Oh Cool, Hulk Hogan, Just What This Show Needs, More Hogan
43:56 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE
44:31 - Looks like Joe might actually be getting an angle...about fucking time TNA
46:15 - Wolfe :D
46:53 - Why is Magnus wearing a beret? Fucking frog
47:59 - 'Shut the hell up' chant...this crowd is really pissing me off. It's 'Shut the fuck up' you bunch of cunts.
51:02 - This promo is awful
52:11 - Wolfe sounds a bit like Roland Rat for some reason
52:41 - Chelsea's gone back to being American again...I wish she'd make her mind up
56:29 - "Tonight, we have two of the top two wrestlers"
57:04 - I hope Fortune win this. AJ is awesome, Kaz is awesome, Beer Money are awesome. Dreamer was awesome, Rhino has his moments, Sabu is awesome, Kendrick is pretty good. Fortune are clearly the better team overall.
60:03 - Dropkick by Rhino? You see something new every day...
61:01 - Wait, this is elimination? They could have mentioned it...it is kinda important. And why did Sabu get eliminated so easily?
62:15 - Nice reversal on that cross body by Kaz
63:52 - What? Kaz got pinned from a dropkick? What is this?
64:50 - They're timing the adverts so badly tonight
66:10 - FUCK YEAH JOE GETS A MATCH AT THE PPV
67:40 - Abyss comes to ringside to attack Rhino...ref starts counting Rhino out
69:45 - Dreamer just beat Beer Money single handedly. Fuck this shit.
72:57 - AJ wins, thank fuck for that...I thought Dreamer was going to go over Beer Money and AJ on his own.
78:05 - Main event, tag match with four of the biggest names in the company. TNA gives it six minutes, including post match celebrations and shenanigans. Fuck this shit.
82:41 - Angle got pinned? So...he's leaving TNA, right?
84:22 - Ffs, they always end on a brawl nowadays. Ever since Reaction started, they need something to get people to watch it, which makes iMPACT end on a bad note.
Overall...better than the last two weeks but still not as good as RAW. Which is shameful if you compare the rosters of the two shows. Actually, it might have been as bad as the last two weeks, I fast forwarded a lot of it so I don't know.
I might as well do my No Surrender predictions here instead of doing a separate post. The only match I'm looking forward to is Williams v Sabu.
Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne
I didn't realise this was actually happening. Madison to win, probably due to Tara getting involved.
Rhino vs. Abyss
This could be a decent match. It'll basically just be a big brawl, but Abyss tends to do some kind of big stunt at PPVs so I'll be looking for someone to get thrown off a stage or set on fire or something.
Abyss to win. 'They' aren't going to reveal themselves just for their guy to lose the same night.
Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu
Should be an interesting match, two very different styles so it could be anything from brilliant to shite.
Sabu to win. ECW doesn't have any gold, they're getting their asses kicked all over iMPACT, they need something like this to make them look relevant/viable. Also, I think Doug's push ended when he joined Fourtune, he just stands about looking pissed off. Doug is to Fourtune as Kiyoshi was to World Elite.
Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe
Hard to say with this one, really depends what direction they're going to go with the angle.
There's a voice in my head saying Sting to win, I don't really know why but I'm going to go with it.
A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer
Again, tough to say. Leader of ECW v main guy in Fourtune. I seem to remember I Quit matches as being No-DQ in TNA, which would favour Dreamer...but on the other hand, AJ is phenomenal so who knows.
I want AJ to win, so let's go with that.
The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling
Guns, obviously.
Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero
After the Anderson v Angle cage match earlier this year (still MOTY so far), I'm sure TNA will want to put those guys in the ring again. Anderson to win.
Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy
Angle. This shouldn't even count as a prediction, really. It's just definitely going to happen.
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