That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT, March 18

Before I get into iMPACT, I'd just like to point out that, as predicted, Victory Road got its own Botchamania:




I'm really only watching to see the fallout of the Jeff Hardy incident at the PPV, I don't really care about anything else. It's bad news for a wrestling company when fans care more about backstage shenanigans than the actual product, but TNA doesn't seem to be focusing on being a decent wrestling company so I doubt anyone there cares.

LET'S DO THIS

00:11 - Here comes Sting
01:14 - New belt :) Looks much better
6:04 - Hogan is saying Hardy's drug problems are because he wasn't good enough to live in Hogan's shadow? What in the fuck is he talking about?
08:09 - Bubba's coming to the ring? If they put Bubba in Jeff's spot, it'll be fucking hilarious
11:45 - Fortune also coming to the ring - I wish they'd have their meetings before the show starts, this is boring.
12:11 - This promo is now in its second quater hour...for fucks sake, TNA stands for Total Nonstop Action, WHERE IS THE FUCKING ACTION
14:48 - Oh FFS, here comes fucking Anderson
16:06 - Every week it's the same shit...change the fucking record
18:29 - Anderson v RVD v Bubba v AJ for the number 1 contenders spot as the main event...Sadly, no way is AJ winning :(
20:19 - Knockouts open challenge time
20:35 - Alyssa Flash :)
21:12 - That was fucking stupid, over in less than a minute...don't fucking bother having a match if you're not going to have a match
21:59 - "I've watched you week after week" (it's been 2 weeks plus whatever the hell that shit just now was)
23:30 - Mickie v Madison in a belt vs hair match at the PPV...The promo was longer than the match (and shit)
24:02 - What in the name of fuck is that thing Pope is talking to? Fucking hell...presumably it's human, but it looks like a sofa with limbs
24:54 - Anderson again, doing the same promo again, on the same subject again. He is so fucking boring.
26:31 - The promo hasn't started yet and it's already fucking terrible. I hope Joe puts Pope through the wheelchair, otherwise this is just a waste of time
29:27 - What the fuck is this shit
30:26 - Congrats TNA, you've reached a new low. Quite an achievement for you guys.
31:21 - JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE
32:13 - Pope pulled a knife on Joe's sidekick...I hope Joe gets that fuck off machete he used to run around with a couple of years ago
33:55 - Pope has turned the backstage area into some kind of S&M dungeon...TNA's sent a camera crew, but no security. I mean, he's only kidnapped and tied up a TNA wrestler, and is in the process of torturing him in TNA's own arena...that's not something that the company needs to concern itself with, right?
35:54 - TNA just literally and unironically aired a 3-minute torture scene
39:58 - Seriously, we're 40 mins in and there's been less than a minute of wrestling so far...and they're starting another bullshit promo...Jarrett shit again...this is supposed to be a wrestling show ffs
42:05 - Jarrett: "I want to stop the misery, tonight" - THEN FUCKING RETIRE YOU PRICK
43:37 - I can't believe Jarrett's wearing a 'total nonstop action' shirt to do a promo...what a fucking idiot
45:32 - Angle just brained Jarrett with a guitar...first decent thing to happen all night
45:49 - Fucking hell, Jarrett's cut pretty bad where Kurt hit him
46:09 - I'm semi convinced that Angle switched the stunt guitar for a real one full of razors...I'd love this to be a shoot
47:31 - Bischoff briefs the job squad
48:44 - Mixed six-person streetfight...Morgan and Beautiful people vs Hernandez, Sarita and...er...the other one. What a terrible, terrible idea for a match. Who sat down, looked at the roster, and decided that the best use of limited airtime was this shit? WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
49:59 - There's going to be a 3-way match with Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy for the TV title...another terrible match...it's like they're actually trying to drive away their fans
52:47 - Cops show up for Angle
54:14 - Shit match, Gunner won...which means I now actually know which one is Gunner and which is Murphy.
55:15 - Terrible promo by AJ
55:46 - Flair just got knocked the fuck out by AJ
56:58 - Time for the tag match from hell
58:00 - Christ, they gave Hernandez the mic again...
1:00:52 - That was terrible...and like 2 minutes long. Highlight was a spinning backbreaker thingie by Winter...not seen it before, it's an awesome move.
1:01:41 - Hernandez's new buddy reminds me of a Mexican X-Pac
1:03:41 - Main event time with over 20 mins of the show left? There must be a bullshit ending or something, otherwise this will be the first decent-length match TNA have put on iMPACT for months
1:12:38 - Oh for fucks sake. That was actually a really good match, but then Anderson and RVD both got laid out in the ring, while Bubba and AJ were outside. The ref counted 3 DESPITE NOBODY MAKING A FUCKING PIN, then went for the mic to announce the winner but Bubba knocked him out. Fucking TNA.
1:15 :08 - Bubba just powerbombed AJ off the stage through two tables...that was pretty cool
1:16:50 - There were several crash mats under the tables, on the replay you can see them very clearly...suddenly a much less impressive move
1:17:49 - John Cena got a bunch of homophobia complaints for telling The Rock 'your mountain is Brokeback'...I wonder how many Bubba will get for screaming "I'll bust your ass, you fag"?
1:18:29 - All this shit with putting AJ in a neckbrace and on a stretcher is bollocks...YOU SHOWED THE REPLAY OF THE FUCKING CRASH MATS LIKE 3 TIMES YOU FUCKING IDIOTS...AND IF IT WAS REAL YOU'D FUCKING CUT AWAY TO BACKSTAGE

That was fucking terrible...Until the main event there were maybe 5-10 decent seconds (Angle's guitar shot, Winter's finisher, AJ knocking Flair out cold), then the match was decent and way above TNA's usual standards, but then they decided to have a bullshit ending to the match, AND a bullshit fake injury to AJ. Fuck TNA, seriously...this is so much worse than WWE it's hard to believe they're in the same genre...let alone the fact that TNA is the number two English speaking wrestling company in the world.

After the shambles of a PPV, they really should have made this a great iMPACT, but it was possibly one of the worst episodes I've ever seen. Just, absolutely terrible.