A review of all things Pro Wrestling. WWE Raw, Smackdown, NXT, TNA Impact, PWG, WCW, ECW, CZW, IWP, NWA, ROH and much more.
Features, reviews. Greatest matches and promos, worst matches and characters. Predictions and opinions.
Can you smell what the Sock is cooking?
With 2010 now behind us, we can look back and pick our favourite moments of the year. May I introduce to you, the Socko’s – wrestling’s most coveted awards ceremony. Unlike the Slammies, the Socko’s will include such obscure categories as Match of the Year and Promo of the Year. Let’s do this.
Breakout star: Bryan Danielson, WWE.
Runner up: Magnus, TNA.
Stinker of the year: Team 3D versus Nasty Boyz. TNA: Against All Odds.
Runner up: Madison Rayne versus Tara. TNA: Sacrifice.
Best commentary: CM Punk, WWE.
Runner up: Jim Ross, WWE.
Move of the Year: Douglas Williams – Chaos Theory
Runner up: Candice LeRae – BALLPLEX!
Promo of the year: Jay Lethal and Ric Flair, TNA Impact.
Runner up: CM Punk during WWE Royal Rumble match.
Worst Promo:
Michael McGillicutty, NXT. "This will be the moment..."
Runner up: Eli Cottonwood, NXT. "Moustache..."
Most overrated wrestler: Jeff Hardy, TNA.
Runner up: Randy Orton, WWE.
Most Underrated wrestler: Robert Roode, TNA.
Runner up: Kaval, WWE.
Best Heel: CM Punk, WWE.
Runner up: Jeff Jarrett, TNA.
Best Babyface: Kurt Angle, TNA
Runner up: Rey Mysterio, WWE.
Rivalry of the Year: Motor City Machine Guns versus Beer Money, TNA
Runner up: El Generico versus Kevin Steen, ROH.
Worst rivalry: Immortals versus Dixie Carter
Runner up: Kane versus Edge.
Worst Angle: “They”, TNA.
Runner up: Cena being “fired”, WWE.
Pay-per-view of the year: Kurt Russell Mania, PWG
Runner up: Royal Rumble, WWE.
Hottest lady Becky Bayless
Runner up: Christy Hemme
Women’s match Daizee Haze versus Jamilia Craft. ROH (July).
Runner up: Tara versus Mickey James (Steel Cage match). TNA Impact (Dec)
Best Stable Foutune, TNA
Runner up: Straight Edge Society, WWE
Worst Stable The Embassy, ROH
Runner up: Legacy, WWE.
Best Tag Team Motor City Machine Guns
Runner up: Beer Money
Worst Tag Team: Matt Morgan, TNA
Runner up: John Cena and David Otunga
Moment of the year: Nexus debut, WWE.
Runner up: Hulk Hogan gets his hall of fame ring shoved down his throat.
Retarded moment of the year: Jeff Hardy turning heel
Runner up: Edge killing Paul Bearer
Worst gimmick Abyssamania
Runner up: LayCool
Match of the year: Undertaker versus Shawn Michaels (Career versus Streak). WWE Wrestlemania 26.
Runner up: Beer Money versus Motor City Machine Guns (best 2/3 falls). TNA Impact (August)
Other notable mentions: Douglas Williams versus AJ Styles (Iron Man match) – TNA Impact (December) Tyler Black versus Roderick Strong. ROH Supercard of Honor. Kurt Angle versus AJ Styles – TNA Impact (January). Danielson versus Dolph Ziggler – WWE Bragging Rights. Douglas Williams versus Kazarian – TNA Destination X. Brian Kendrick and Paul London versus the Young Bucks. PWG Kurt Russell Mania. Bryan Danielson versus Low-Ki. FCW. El Generico versus Roderick Stong - ROH Pick Your Poison. Daizee Haze versus Hamada – Shimmer 30 Kurt Angle versus Mr Anderson (cage match) – TNA
As Survivor Series is almost upon us, I figured I’d do some predictions. This is probably most rushed PPV card ever, so it is obvious the WWE haven’t done a great job at building it up. Let’s do this...
- WWE Championship - Orton (c) vs. Barrett w/Cena as ref. I’m hoping for a Cena heel turn and Barrett to take home the strap. I can’t stand Orton, the guy is as wooden as, erm, some wood and looks like one of the muppets (Beaker?). I can see a lot of bullshit going down in this match, maybe even a good few swerves, but I hope not. Barrett to win. (then Miz will cash in his Money in the Bank case)
- World Heavyweight Championship Match - Kane (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Edge Who cares, will probably be less painful to watch the Kane/Taker... hope Edge wins. Edge to win.
- Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio - Rey Mysterio, The Big Show, Kofi Kingston, M.V.P & Chris Masters vs. Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, "Dashing" Cody Rhodes & Tyler Reks. Don’t watch Smackdown, so don’t care... flip a coin... Del rio to win.
- John Morrison vs. Sheamus This match is stupid. Sheamus has been going after Santino for weeks, so he’s having a match with Morrison... who gives a fuck. Potential to be a half-decent match though. Morrison to win.
- 2 on 1 Handicap Match for WWE Unified Diva's Championship Team Laycool (Michelle McCool & Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix Don’t care about Divas... The first one to win.
- WWE United States Championship Match Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase (w/Maryse) This could be pretty good, but can see bullshit with Maryse. I’d like to see Danielson keep the strap. Danielson to win.
- WWE Intercontinental Championship Match Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval This could be the best match of the night, Kaval (Low-ki/Senshi) has been floundering a bit of late, so would like to see him win and have some matches with Danielson. Low-ki to win
- WWE Tag Team Championship Match Nexus (Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov
Really? Is this the best they could come up with? TNA gives you Guns/Beer Money/Gen Me... WWE charges you to see Santino and the generic Russian guy versus the ones without personality who stand in a line with Wade Barrett wearing the same T-shirts. WWE tag team division is a complete joke, it really is.
I suppose half of the matches I want to see, which will give me time to go the bar while some of the Socko writers go to watch the event at a bar...
With one of the worst build-ups to a PPV in recent memory, I really don't care about any of these matches. But let's go over my predictions:
Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne
I predict Velvet will win. There will be some interference by Tara, but this will be stopped by Angelina, giving Velvet the win and reigniting the Tara/Angelina feud.
Rhino vs. Abyss
This has the postential to be a pretty nasty match. No DQ, falls count anywhere, could be messy. Abyss to win.
Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu
This match seems to have come from nowhere. I like Doug and Sabu in equal measures (actually, I prefer Sabu from about 13 years ago), but I think Sabu will win.
Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe
Who cares? I mean, what's going to happen? What's a stake? Who are the good guys and bad guys? What are they fighting about? Joe and Jarrett to win.
A.J. Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer
Where has an I quit match come from? You don't do an I quit match on their first PPV, way to kill off a feud. The I quit match is like a last resort match after a feud has been running over a few PPVs, for fuck's sake. AJ to win, please.
The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. London Brawling
Guns will probably win this, but I'd quite like to see London Brawling get the gold only for the Guns to get it back at Bound for Glory after a vicious and nasty feud over the next few weeks... this won't happen though, so I'll say Guns.
Mr. Anderson vs. D'Angelo Dinero
Anderson will win, just to get him versus Angle at BFG.
Coming into Summerslam, there weren’t really any matches which I was particularly excited about seeing. I was interested to see how the Nexsus angle would pan out during this one, but wasn’t particularly excited about seeing Bret Hart in the ring again. Let’s get to it.
The first match was Kofi Kingston versus Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental title. The match wasn’t bad, Kofi and Dolph work pretty well together. We had a Suicide Dive from Kofi straight into the guard rail as Ziggle was pulled out of the way by Vicky Guerrero. Kofi hit a shockingly bad Thesz Press, and did some pretty lame spots. Just as Ziggler got Kofi into a sleeper hold, Nexus ran in and the match was over. With Ziggler making a sharp exit, Kofi was left to receive a beat down from the Nexus. Barrett cut a promo over the squirming Kofi, suggesting that this was just a taste of what’s to come.
Rating: **
After the Divas match was the Big Show versus the Straight Edge Society. This match was pretty lame. Show came out and removed the tape from his hands, thus invalidating the injury angle (this guy must heal incredibly fast – scientists should do some research on him). There were some pretty cool spots in the match, there was a double Bulldog on Show at one point (which was described as a double DDT by Michael Cole – it clearly wasn’t a DDT). Punk makes a hasty retreat which allows Show to Choke Slam Mercury onto Gallows for a clean win.
Rating: *½
After a pretty decent promo by the Miz, we have the match between Randy Orton and Sheamus for the WWE Championship. I don’t know why, but I really can’t stand Randy Orton. There are much better in-ring technicians than he, and much better people on the mic... but anyway, the match wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t memorable by any stretch of the imagination. The story of this match was that Sheamus was working on Orton’s right shoulder. There seemed to be a lot of basic moves which were given new names (such as the Celtic Hammer, which is actually just a double Axe Handle), which seemed kind of pointless to me. There was a bit of a confusing spot where Sheamus (apparently) reversed an RKO, even though it looked as though Orton hit it. After getting the Irish Curse (AKA the Celtic Cross, AKA the High Cross, AKA The Razor’s Edge) for the two count; Sheamus picked up a chair and accidently bumped the ref. The ref then called for a DQ and therefore Sheamus keeps the title. With the stipulation that if Orton lost he would be sent to the back of the queue, we have a technical win on Orton’s part, but he doesn’t get the title (yet, no doubt).
Rating: **½
Next up was the World Heavyweight Championship with heavyweight Rey Mysterio versus Kane (why Kane is still holding the strap I’ll never know). I wasn’t feeling this one, and I don’t think that the crowd were either. Kane came down to the ring with a casket even though it wasn’t a casket match. The commentary for this match was piss poor. Striker at one point noted that Rey Mysterio’s “Luche Libreness” had come into play, he also noted that the crowd was so subdued because of the gravity of this match, hmm. Kane got the clean win with a Chokeslam and after the count did a few more Chokeslams and a Tombstone. Kane then the opened the casket to reveal... The Undertaker. Wow, nobody saw that one coming, right? Kane put Taker in a Chokeslam and made him look very weak... but he has been in a vegetative state, right? So, wow, we’re going to have another fucking feud between Kane and Undertaker... for the love of God...
Rating: *½
And onto the main event: Nexus versus Team WWE. I didn’t have high hopes for this one, but I’ve got to admit that it was excellently done. John Cena came out with his new colour scheme (shit, that means my orange Cena t-shirt is now out of date, we’ll have to buy the new ones). With Miz bragging that he was the final member of Team WWE, it was up to Cena to reveal who it was: Bryan Danielson. I did not see this coming, I said only a few days ago that “I think that the Bryan Danielson thing could be good if they bring him back as a babyface” – it seems that that’s what WWE have done; though it seems that WWE have kept Danielson’s ‘slave name’. There were some great spots throughout this one, Danielson dominated from the off getting Darren Young to tap to a Crossface variation in less than a minute. There were chants for we want Bret, which struck me as a bit odd: what the fuck is Bret Hart going to do? This guy’s hurting, he’s had a stroke and it’s just a bit sad to see him make a tit of himself the way he did a few months back at Wrestlemania. Luckily, Bret didn’t look too bad, he probably looked better than his WCW days in all honesty, but he’s not “the best there is” anymore. When Bret came back in a few minutes later, Michael Cole said something along the lines of “Bret Hart’s had some big Summerslam moments in his career, but if Team WWE can pull this off, this will be the biggest”... Are you fucking kidding me? Is this bigger than Wembley? Don’t fucking patronise me, Cole. Bret was DQed for using a chair, and to be honest, I think this was possibly the best that Bret has been booked since his return. He didn’t take any bumps, he kind of looked cool and he was dominant throughout his slot. Jericho got in an awesome Lionsault in on this one, he was a babyface during this one, and it was great. He even brought out his line of “you are a stupid man, you are stupid man to Cena” – this was comic genius, not sure if it was meant to be, but it gets me every time. Danielson came back in and kick some more ass. The Miz came out and hit Danielson with MitB case which knocked Bryan out for the pin. Finally, we had Cena versus Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett. Cena did his, ahem, Five Knuckle Shuffle. For those not familiar with British idioms, a Five Knuckle Shuffle is the same a wank (masturbation, taking your cock in your hand and pumping it until happy milk pops out of the little guy). Blah blah. Cena ended up getting the STF on Barrett who tapped out (remember that contrary to MMA, tapping out is the worst/most humiliating thing a person can do when one of their limbs is about to be snapped off). Against all the odds, Cena got the win and everyone was happy. “We win, we win” Striker was saying. Lovely stuff.
Rating: ****
On the whole, this was a very well-booked PPV. A few of the matches were pretty shit, but the last match made up for it. There were some surprises (some more expected than others), but most importantly they’ve got Danielson back (hopefully he’ll be jobbing ob Raw this time next week). Necause of the win, Nexus is pretty much done. It would have worked better had they made Cena tap, but hey, it's all soap opera...
I don't care what all the smark critics say, I really enjoyed TNA Hardcore Justice. This week's promo of the week award goes to Joel Gertner for his hilarious promo at the aforementioned PPV.
The video's not on YouTube, so I've uploaded it exclusively on here. Enjoy!
Though ROH's TV show can be pretty inconsistant, when they put on a good match, you know it's a classic. One such match was for the ROH TV title from back in April between Davey Richards (who has had an excellent year) and Eddie Edwards.
The WWE has decided that all of its non-‘big four’ PPVs should now be named after lame gimmicks, it would seem. We’ve had TLC, Elimination Chamber, Extreme Rules, Fatal Four Way and now we have Money in the Bank.
The Money in the Bank gimmick came in to WWE in about 2005 (I’m sure someone will correct me on this), and has done no end of damage to the integrity of the championship titles. Indeed, not only did the WWE decide to have two championship belts, they also decided that any mid-carder who needs a quick push can win the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania. What has made the Money in the Bank gimmick so interesting in the past, however, is that it brings together the wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown, and allows the winner to cash in on either brand (as Jack Swagger did with his move over to Smackdown). With two (yes two) MiB matches (one for each brand) the value of the gimmick and the value of the belts has been further diluted.
At the beginning of MiB, we were shown one of the most dangerous things in professional wrestling. No, I’m not talking about Hell in a Cell or the Elimination Chamber, and I’m not talking about barbed wire ropes or exploding turn buckles: I’m referring, of course, to the Spanish announce table. I think I’ve said before that WWE has lost any sense of subtlety in its storytelling and in its matches, if I haven’t, I’ve certainly thought it. It’s almost as if WWE management went: “Right, we need to do a spot where someone goes through the Spanish announce table,” the board members look on blankly, another one chirps up: “I’m not sure our demographic know what a Spanish announce table is, and I’m not sure they could picture such a thing.” And so they show, for those fans who can’t picture what an announce table looks like with people commentating in Spanish rather than English.
First up was the Smackdown MiB match. We had Dolph Ziggler, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Kane, The Big Show, Matt Hardy and Drew McIntyre in what was actually a well-booked match... until the end that is. Unlike most recent WWE PPVs, the crowd were really into this one, and the crowd were hot for this match in particular. The match started with most of the guys beating on Show, even though when he tried to climb a ladder it broke. Christian and Hardy did some great stuff on top the ladders, reminiscent of some of their matches back in their tag team days. Kofi did a really cool Leg Drop from the top of ladder, onto Drew McIntyre who was spread out on... the Spanish announce table, woo! With Show unable to climb a regular ladder, he went under the ring to pull out a big ladder made of ‘reinforced steel’ – this thing looked heavy, this thing looked so heavy in fact that Show could hardly lift it into the ring, if you missed it I’m sure it will be on the next Botchamania. Indeed, the Big Show’s frustration was clearly evidenced when the words ‘fuck me’ left his lips. Naughty Big Show, that’s not very PG now, is it? Then came what was probably the highlight of the match for me, Show got thrown out of the ring and the rest of the wrestlers came over and buried him in a pile of ladders. I’m not sure if it was meant to be funny, but I was pissing myself. It reminded me of that ECW thing were the crowd were throwing the chairs. Awesome. Then came the ending... Kane won. Fucking Kane. Easily the worst guy possible to win this won. What the fuck?
Next up was the Divas. Don’t care. Enough time to put the kettle on.
The next match was the Hart Dynasty versus the Uzos for the tag titles. To be honest, I’m not sold on either team in this one and really didn’t care what the result was, it seemed the crowd agreed with this sentiment. The match ended with Davey Hart Smith doing the Sharpshooter (why not a Bulldog?) for the win. Pretty dull match, but luckily it was only 6 minutes long.
Next up was Rey Mysterio versus Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Title. Hang on, Kurt Angle? Lets work this out carefully: Amateur style ring attire? Check. Ankle Lock? Check. All-American gimmick? Check. That sounds like Kurt Angle to me! But wait, it’s Jack Swagger, not Kurt Angle... my mistake. Anyway, this match was pretty decent. Rey was selling an injured ankle throughout the match, which made him change his style. There were some pretty cool spots in the one like Rey getting Swagger with the Lou Thez Press of the top rope and Rey countering a superplex into a DDT for a near fall. The match culminated in Angle, sorry, Swagger getting Mysterio into an Ankle Lock. After squirming for a few moments, Rey shimmied out of his boot and took Swagger down with a Hurricianrama for the pin. This was not the end for Swagger though, he went back to work on Rey’s ankle, and Kane ran in for the save and chased Swagger to the locker-room. With Mysterio still reeling in the ring, who should return the ring but Kane, MiB briefcase in hand and cashed it in. Kane quickly worked on Rey’s ankle, put him in a Tombstone and got the pin. For fuck’s sake. That’s right, Kane, yes Kane, is now the World Heavyweight Champion. I predict, hmm, Undertaker getting the title, hmm, at Summerslam, hmm, 12 year old feud gets reignited, hmm, fans don’t care. I would care if they brought back Paul Bearer to fuck around with the Undertakers head a bit though. So let’s get this straight: rather than using this opportunity to get a young guy over, they use it to reignite a feud which has been done, four, maybe five times before, which doesn’t even need a title to establish a match... for fuck’s sake.
Another Divas match, but this time I made the mistake of watching it. Oh dear, this was bad. This was Rob Terry doing Lucha Libre bad. This was Warrior verus Hercules bad. Kelly Kelly versus Layla could go down in history as the worst thing to ever appear on a PPV. Now don’t get me wrong, Layla is hot, but God damn it, this is a wrestling show. If I wanted to watch hot girls wrestle I’d... anyway...
Next up was the Raw MiB match with Randy Orton, Miz, Mark Henry, John Morrison, Jericho, Ted Dibiase, Edge and Evan Bourne. This was actually an excellent match, and the ending was so much better than the Smackdown MiB match. There were some really good spots during this match, probably too many to go into. There was one where two guys were each on a ladder and Mark Henry came in between them and sent them flying. The commentator said something dumb along the lines of “It’s Hercules parting the Red Sea!” Because Hercules and Moses are the same, you fucking moron. Everyone seemed to get in their signature moves and Morrison did some great acrobatics between ladders before getting socked by the Miz and Edge. The worst bit of the match came when DiBiase’s lady Virgil, Maryse came in to try and grab the case for DiBiase. Morrison then fireman’s lifted her away. The ending came with a battle on the ladder between Orton and Miz with Miz unhooking the case and giving a pretty decent promo afterwards. I really wanted Miz to win this, the MiB suits an up and coming heel, but I want Miz to be the first person to cash in his case and not get the belt.
Finally, the main event was Cena versus Seamus in a cage match for the WWE title. This match had some really dumb moments. There was one where Seamus put Cena into a Sleeper Hold, with his last few breaths, Cena started Hulking up, brother. With the Sleeper Hold still tightly in place, Cena started to climb out of the cage with Seamus on his back. For fuck’s sake. Like a lot of cage matches, this one also had a number of opportunities when either competitor could get a clean win and simply escape the cage, but would rather do some spots instead. For fuck’s sake. The match went on, both did their finishers and then the NXTWo came in, bolt cutters in hand, no doubt to break into the cage and mess up the match. A little old referee came over to try and stop them and snatched the bolt cutters and made a hasty exit. Remember that this group had beaten up most of the roster, had beaten up management and had beat up legends, but it was a little referee who got the better of them. For fuck’s sake. The NXTWo then demanded that a referee gave them the key to the cage. Obviously having watched the Angle versus Anderson cage match on TNA, the ref threw the key into the crowd, and again a little ref got the better of the NXTWo. The climax to the match came when the ref in the ring got bumped and Cena got Seamus to tap out to the STF. With the ref out, Cena attempted to climb out, but Justin Gabriel of the NXTWo climbed the outside and started fighting with Cena. Meanwhile, that sneaky Irish heel managed to climb out and get the win. Seamus then legged it into the crowd.
Overall, this was a pretty good PPV. Both of the MiB matches were very good, the Swagger versus Mysterio match was also pretty decent, the Divas match I saw was bad as they come, and the main event was also pretty good. This is probably the best PPV WWE have put on this year.
This week’s Ring of Honor started out with a pretty poor, non-title match between the Dark City Fight Club and the Kings of Wrestling. The Kings of Wrestling have been in some great matches, but this was not one of them.
The Dark City Fight Club are what you would get if Mark Henry tagged with his spastic brother. The timings were way off, they sold injuries worse than Hogan, and, well, they just sucked anus.
The match went nowhere, the KoW did some of their usual spots and then the Briscoes turned up in revenge for insulting their daddy at the last PPV.
This is where it went a bit stupid. With the Briscoes set for revenge, ROH security and most of the locker room came out to stop them. The KoW made a quick escape and the Briscoes went at it with security.
This was a shit end to a shit match. I wouldn’t even give it one star. It was probably because the match was so bad that the Briscoes got the biggest pop of the night.
Next up was a women’s match between Daizee Haze verus Jamilia Craft. This really surprised me as to just how good it was, and might actually be one of the best women’s wrestling matches I think I’ve seen. A lot of really strong technical wrestling and completely wipes the floor with WWE at the moment: men and women. Also this match shows what the Knockout division could be capable of if TNA gave it a bit more time and got in some better wrestlers. You know it’s a bad state of affairs when the penile reactions of teenage boys have a direct effect upon the women we tend to see in the ring.
TNA/WWE management: “Well there’s a choice between this really good technical wrestler who is just amazing in the ring, or there’s this bleach-blonde stick with bolt-on tits who will make even the most basic of moves look shit...”
Teenage boy: “Tits.”
Grotty little bastards.
Anyway, the match was won by Daizee Haze with a German Suplex to pin. I’d give this match four and a half stars, and could probably be the best women’s match we’ll see for a good while.
Next up was an interview segment with Christopher Daniels. With him being pushed down the card and eventually let go by TNA, it’s easy to forget what a great promo this guy can give when he’s on form. This also goes for Davari, who was also in TNA. He hasn’t dropped the ‘hard-done-by-victim-of-racism’ type of thing he’s been doing since his WWE days, but still, he’s great on the mic.
Next up was the main event: The American Wolves versus Roderick Strong and Christopher Daniels. This was another fantastic match, probably one of the best tag matches I’ve seen in a while. These guys aren’t a bunch of spot monkeys like you get with the WWE, but have a real ring presence and excellent ring psychology. Each move seemed to have a purpose and didn’t seem to be done for the sake of doing a move that looks cool but doesn’t really fit in with the match. For such a good match, the crowd didn’t seem to be into as much as I would have expected, but what do I know, I just know what I like and what I don’t.
This match was 20 minutes long, this wasn’t a PPV or a championship match, it was just a good-length match that felt right and worked so much better than the four minutes of wrestling-lite you get with the WWE. The match was given time to evolve and develop and it really showed.
For the last minute of the match I was on the edge of my seat. Daniels tried to get the BME and Davey Richard ran up and hit Daniels with a German superplex from the top rope for a quick pin. I’d give this match four stars.
On the whole, this wasn’t a bad episode, the first match was awful, but the last two matches saved it. With no build up or hype, it’s fair to say that women’s match stole the show.
I have to say that I really like the way ROH structures its shows. They are heavy on the wrestling and there is hardly any in-ring rambling for 15 minutes. The matches are a decent length and are punctuated by old-style promos and vignettes. This gives opportunity to develop a storyline, but doesn’t turn a wrestling show into a talk show.
Here are my predictions for the next TNA PPV 'Victory Road' which I will review, and no doubt eat my words, next week.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss vs. (c) Rob Van Dam
I'm hoping that Anderson will get the chapionship, however, I can see RVD retaining the title until Kurt Angle has worked his way up through the rankings. I've never liked four-way matches. Three-ways or tag matches are great, but any more than that and things just get confusing. Isn't odd that the last WWE PPV was called Fatal Four Way, and now TNA are doing one. Will they do a Money in the Bank ladder match at their next PPV?
CHALLENGE MATCH Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal
I can predict a Flair win, but this will be with a lot of interference from his stable. :ethal will probably get a pin, but the ref will be out or distracted or something equally lame. This match will be a stinker
CONTENDERS BATTLE #10 Kurt Angle VS #8 “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero
No boubt that this will be at least a four-star match. Pope's great in the ring and on the mic, but I really can't see Kurt Angle losing any matches whilst working up the rankings
STEEL CAGE MATCH Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
I'm a bit bored of this storyline now, and if Morgan and Hernandez have proved anything, it is that they are inconsistant in the ring. This could be an awesome match, or it could be a stinker. I can see Morgan winning.
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X CHAMPIONSHIP (Win by either Submission or claiming the Ultimate X) Kendrick vs. (c) Douglas Williams.
I really like this angle, I really like Brian Kendrick and I really like Doug Williams. This has the potential to be an awesome match. I can see a ref bump with Williams getting put into a cobra clutch, Williams taps, but the ref is out. I then see Williams doing some kind of high-risk move of Kendrick then retaining the belt by climbing the ultimate x.
TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machineguns Hail Sabin, Motor City have to win this, it's just retarded if they don't... Oh wait, we've gor Russo and Bischoff in creative, damn it, I'll have to go with Beer Money then... but I really want the Guns to win, Alex Shelley is underrated as hell.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP Angelina Love vs. (c) Madison Rayne
Wonder if it will be a career match, but then Angelina wins. I hope she does because at least she can wrestle. Not that there are any decent female wrestlers left in the KO division apart from Sarita and Taylor Wilde. This match will be piss-poor.
EDIT: Ray vs Devon vs Jesse I'm guessing that Devon will get the pin on Jesse... TNA can't split up 3D, it's stupid if they do.
AJ and Kaz vs Mystery tag team. Well the build up to this between AJ/Kaz and the mystery tag team make this worth watching, gonna guess the AJ/Kaz will (flips a coin) lose.
This has to be the funniest promo in TNA history, I nearly wet my pants I was laughing so much. Nature Boy Jay Lethal and Flair in a war of words, it doesn't come any better than this!
Watch it once, then play it back with your eyes closed, the impression really is quite uncanny.
The birth of Anderson's Assholes has to get the nomination for on of best promo of the year thus far. This was on the cusp of Anderson's face turn at Sacrifice, I alluded to it in my original review, but could not get hold of a video, so here it is:
After 23 days in the wilderness, I’m back. So let’s not waste time and get to the review of TNA’s Slammiversary VIII. Before watching the PPV I caught up on the Impacts from the past three weeks and was surprised by the low key build-up for many of the matches, oh apart from Hardy/Anderson teaming up and the ‘Why Sting, why?’ angle still being as funny as hell. Why Sting, why?
The first match of the evening was a welcome surprise, but one, which upon reflection, fits in perfectly with Angle starting at the bottom (well, number 11) of the TNA top 10 rankings. TNA and consistent storylines don’t usually happen, so I’m interested to see how this one pans out. Anyway, in the opening match we had Kazarian and Kurt Angle. This is how a PPV or an episode of Impact should open, with a decent match. Of course, the match was so good that it probably made the rest of the show not look as good. The crowd intensity peaked during this match, so the rest of the event was just a little bit quieter (but thank God, throughout the first match one shrill scream could be heard throughout the match, which was most disconcerting, whoever that screaming woman was, would you please shut the fuck up in future?). What made me laugh was when the fans were chanting ‘USA USA USA’; who was that for exactly? Angle, who’s American or Kaz, who also happens to be an American? Give yourselves a pat on the back for that one.
There were some pretty awesome moves during this one, with Kaz having the upperhand early on even getting Angle with the Ulmari driver (that reverse tombstone thing), which with Angle’s neck the way it is, was pretty nasty. Angle beat Kaz with the ankle lock and moved up in the rankings.
Next up was Brian Kendrick versus Doug Williams for the X Division title. This match had been set up with Williams being against the high-flying style of the X-Division. Which is why Kendrick (also a heel, I might add) spent most of the match brawling in the ring with Douglas. Douglas then finished the match with one of the most uncomfortable and least graceful Tornado DDTs I think I’ve ever seen. With Kendrick grounded, the storyline just didn’t make a lot of sense, and with Kendrick avoiding the mic like someone’s offering him a poo to smell the match had little build-up. The only thing I learnt through Impact is that Kendrick is a psycho.... just like Nailz... Instead of Kendrick, they should have had Amazing Red, at least the disparity in styles would have been more pronounced and the crowd would have given a shit. Overall though, not a bad match
Next we had a bit with Eric Bischoff asking ‘Why Sting, why?’ Yawn. He then went on to talk about how great Rob Van Dam is. Yawn. Bischoff makes a great heel, but when he’s a babyface he is completely boring. If TNA need to have Eric Bischoff (which they don’t), then bring back Sleazy E, at least that way he’ll be vaguely entertaining.
Next up was Roxxi versus Madison Rayne for the Knockouts title. I must have been in the mood for self-flagellation because I knew this was going to be a stinker, but watched it anyway to see how bad it would be. The match began with Madison coming to the ring and takes the mic, she starts moaning to Roxxi that she has everything to lost and Roxxi has everything to gain, clearly not realising defending a title is meant to work. The match becomes a title versus career match, and as Roxxi was agreeing, Madion smacked her in the head with the mic and busted he wide open. It looked like a blade job, but it wasn’t. What it confirmed was that Roxxi is actually the daughter of Ric Flair, because no one else bleeds like that. Madison won, but when it comes to it, the Knockouts division is a joke now (they bring in a fat stripper, but ignore Hamada and Sarita, what the fuck?) and when it comes to it Roxxi’s been in about three matches this year, so she hadn’t exactly made waves on TNA. Not quite the stinker I thought it would be, but still a pretty poor match.
Next up was Brother Ray versus Jesse Neal in a Teacher versus Student match. This storyline from the beginning struck me a being weak and made Brother Ray look like a bit of a dick. Anyway, the match began with Brother Ray taking to the mic and apologising for being an arse candle and there were hugs all round. Just in case you forgot, this is a PPV, use the build up to cut promos... for fuck’s sake... but wait! Shock upon shock! It was all a ruse. Brother Ray socked Jesse on the head and threw him about 10 foot to the other side of the ring... much better, can we have some wrestling now please? The match played out like a squash match with Brother Ray beating on Jesse throughout. But then, I think we had the earth-shattering arrival of... Tommy Dreamer? Now don’t get me wrong, Tommy Dreamer was great, but that was over a decade ago. Also, he was retired by Zack Ryder (yes, the Raw jobber who’s still yet to win a match on Raw), which doesn’t exactly make him look like the most dominant of wrestlers. Hopefully his role will be similar to what Shane Douglas’s was back in the early days of TNA, or maybe he’ll bring Taz out of retirement. But honestly, I can’t see where he would fit in an already top-heavy roster. Anyway, with the distraction of Dreamer appearing in the crowd, Jesse took Brother Ray down with a spear for the pin. Pretty mediocre match.
Next up was Hernandez versus Matt Morgan, which was one of the few matches on this PPV I was excited about. The match began with Morgan coming out in his normal clothes, wearing a neck brace and selling a neck injury. He comes to the ring and, because this is a PPV, takes the mic to cut a promo. He handed the ref a doctor’s note which said he could not ‘perform’ (don’t say that, people will find out that wrestling’s fake!). As he walked away from the ring Hernandez arrived and threw him into the ring. Two matches in a row and two attempted swerves... don’t use the same gimmick two matches running. Anyway, the match was pretty evenly matched most of the way through with Hernandez working on Morgan’s neck and then Morgan going to work on Supermex’s shoulder. With months of aggression building up in Hernandez in his bid to get revenge over Morgan, how did the match end? With Supermex getting DQed for throwing the ref, I’m not even kidding. The brawling continued until the referee tried to stand in front of a kick and go smacked in the chest. This match was pretty disappointing and had a pointless ending. Let’s hope that Supermex reforms LAX again.
Next up was an interview with Hulk Hogan who was asking ‘Why Sting, why?’ Complaining that Sting had crossed the line (which is what I thought TNA was all about: their tagline is ‘Cross the Line’ for fuck’s sake, but of course Hogan wouldn’t know that because he’s only in it for his own ego). Hogan then went on to talk about ‘the code of ethics’ wrestlers have and that they shouldn’t destroy other wrestler’s careers. Now I’m not one to split hairs here, but hasn’t Hogan been cited by numerous sources as one of the main reasons for the fall of WCW and why many young wrestlers in WCW did not get a push? Anyway...
Next up was Abyss versus Desmond Wolfe in a Monster’s Ball match. Though you might to know it, Desmond Wolfe is one of the best technical wrestlers in TNA, if not the industry (watch some of his matches with Kurt Angle or Bryan Danielson on YouTube to see what I mean), so what do TNA do with such a gifted talent? They get him to hit Abyss over the head with a kendo stick a few times. These type of matches had their place about 10-15 years ago, but they just piss me off now. Why TNA still insists on these is beyond me. Abyss took some pretty hard shots with bin lids and a kendo stick and gets cut up with a board wrapped in barbed wire. It seemed odd that TNA would couple a hardcore match with a goofy ‘Beauty and the Beast’ style storyline. I’ve got to admit that I nearly pissed myself laughing when Desmond Wolfe pulled a teddy bear, wrapped in barbed wire, out of one of the bins. Hardcore! The match came to a climax and Wolfe wanted his brass knuckles from Chelsea (not realising that the ring was scattered with other potential sources of injury for Abyss). But... Shock upon shock! Chelsea gave the knuckles to Abyss who socked Wolfe and put him in a Black Hole Slam and getting the pin. Chelsea was stood, barbed-wired teddy bear in hand, aww... At this point I was expecting an anthropomorphic teapot to start a chorus with the teddy bear, singing a song about beauty being more than skin-deep or something. This match was just stupid... though I’m looking forward to the Match made in Heaven between Abyss and Chelsea booked for the next PPV... maybe...
Next up was, for me, one of the highlights of the PPV, Jay Lethal versus AJ. I’m really glad to see Lethal getting a push, he’s still got his comedy stuff, but now he’s himself which is great. I thought his entrance theme sucked donkey anus. I know they’ve dropped the Black Machismo gimmick, but they really needn’t have given him some generic rock music. Would have been funnier, even if it was for the short-term, for Lethal to come out to Flair’s theme, or at least a reworking of it, but what do I know?
The match was really good, and saw Lethal and AJ at their best. For some reason though, the crowd was a bit flat, maybe they’d yawned themselves to sleep with the Beauty and the Beast match? Lots of Flair-style chops and figure-four leg locks throughout. AJ even gave a nod to one of the other Horsemen, Arn Anderson, with a pretty nasty looking brain buster on Lethal. Wrestlers should watch this match to learn how to sell. With Lethal working on AJ’s knee we had AJ limping around a bit, then when it looked like AJ was going to suddenly forget about his injury and go up-top, his knee went from under him on the second rope. This is such a small detail, but one which certain wrestlers could learn from *cough* ROB VAN DAM *cough*. Lethal won with the pin... a very good match.
At the end of the match we saw a bit of a dressing down on AJ by Flair, and Kaz came out to calm him down. Flair reminded of the character Pop from League of Gentlemen when he finds out that his son was robbed:
I was hoping at this point in the match that Kaz would start kicking the shit out of AJ, but alas, he took Flair away and we are left with hints of a feud between Kaz and AJ which could be pretty cool.
Next up was the match between Hardy/Anderson, sorry, the Enigmatic Assholes, and Beer Money. Even though they’d spent far too much time hyping this match up on Impact, I had completely forgotten about it by the time it came on. On the whole, this wasn’t a bad match; it was just a bit dull. Beer Money lost, and nobody cared.
Finally, we had the main event Rob van Dam versus Sting. I really wanted to see RVD get beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat, but it wasn’t my night. Unsurprisingly RVD won. Unsurprisingly RVD didn’t sell or display any in-ring psychology. Unsurprisingly, Rob Van Dam did that thing with his arms to get people to chant his initials at every available opportunity. Unsurprisingly, Van Dam did the same spots he was doing over a decade ago. Unsurprisingly, there was a ref bump and a run-in by Jarrett. Unsurprisingly, the match was unsurprising. The amount of times I groaned and tutted during this match made me sound like I was speaking some weird African dialect.
I’m now officially sick of RVD. He got handed the championship and he’s a boring egomaniac. TNA have always bumped ex-WWE wrestlers to the top of their roster without realising that it is damaging for them in the long-run. TNA are doing the right thing with Jay Lethal, letting him find his feet then putting him over when he was ready. Rob Van Dam is not Mr TNA, at the moment, that would go to AJ, or Lethal, or Kaz, or whoever really. If TNA ever want to compete with WWE on a serious level, they need to put their own home grown talent above the ex-WWEers, otherwise they’ll always be seen as the company that repackages the WWE rejects. One of the reasons that WCW failed was because they didn’t spend enough time building up their own talent. The WWE spends time building characters up. Look at Steve Austin, who was the Ring Master when he came to WWE, or Reverend Batista, or Johnny Nitro, or Rocky Maivia, or Hunter Hirst Helmsley... you get the picture.
Ahh, it’s good to be back at the helm of the good ship Socko...
So, with my drunken and incoherent ramble over The Clown’s predictions late last night, I figured it was time to write a more considered review.
The first thing I need to say about Sacrifice is that two things completely sucked: the crowd and Tazz’s announcing. I’m usually a fan of Tazz’s commentaries, but, man, he was seriously off his game this time. For most of the PPV, the crowd were flat; they didn’t seem to give a shit about the matches. Maybe this is because the PPV was in the Impact Zone, or maybe it’s because TNA management hadn’t spent much time building up any of the matches for people to really give a shit about who wins or loses. Also, it seems that JB has been promoted to ring announcer...
First up we had the number one contenders’ match for the tag team titles between Motor City Machine Guns, Beer Money and 3D. It wasn’t the greatest match I’ve seen these guys in, the Dudleys were kept out of it for most the match so it seemed like MCMG versus Beer Money. The crowd were flat until the final moment of the match when Sabin got the pin on Brother Ray.
Next up was the Global Championship between Roid Terry and Orlando Jordan. The build up to this match was centred around that bi-sexual gimmick, which as The Clown pointed out, is just daft. What came out of this match was the real feeling that Terry really can’t wrestle for shit and that Jordan is actually a decent performer and doesn’t need to go for the Goldust angle. Terry won with what Tazz described as “a spine-buster like move” – looked like a choke slam to me. Considering Terry is basically a crapper version of Batista, this match wasn’t that bad. Jordan’s move-set is pretty old-skool and it’s nice to see a good old fashioned leg-drop every now and again. TNA really need to get rid of Rob Terry; the guy’s a fucking joke. It’s probably for the best that TNA did away with the ‘gay’ angle, but if you’re going to build up a storyline into a match you should at least carry it on. Knowing TNA, the O-Zone will be back on Thursday and Jordan will come out looking like he’s been the spunk mop in a brothel.
After the match, we cut to a backstage promo which shows the Dudleys in their locker room licking their wounds. Ink Inc. (eugh, that name) go in and the Dudleys wish them luck and warn them that the Band might take their gripe with the Dudleys out on them. Neal say that they don’t need luck and they’ll take care of the Band for them. This pisses of Bubba, and after Ink Inc. leaves he rants to Devon about lack of respect, blah blah.
The third match of the evening was Kazarian versus Doug Williams for the X-Division title. I love the fact that this angle was written by an Icelandic volcano, but it was a pretty decent angle nonetheless. I was looking forward to this match because not only are Kazarian and Williams two of TNA’s most underrated stars, they also have two of the best finishers in the company. The match was pretty decent but was spoilt by a flat crowd and poor commentary; Tazz’s piss-poor announcing was saved by Taney’s wit, when he said something like “Kaz took a year out of the business and everyone thought it would be career suicide” – geddit? Suicide? Kaz was Suicide, he didn’t really leave. Geddit? The match worked really well with the angle of Williams hating the high-risk style of the X-Division and saw Kazarian going to work with some good, solid, technical wrestling. It was Williams who resorted to a high-risk move, going of the top rope and smacking Kaz’s face into the entrance ramp. I don’t know if this was done on purpose, but this was a nice subtle tough which added some complexity and hypocrisy to Williams’ character. There were some pretty cool moves in the match including a brain-buster variation and of course his Chaos Theory for the win. I would have liked to have seen Kaz’s fucked up backwards piledriver thing, but no such luck. I think Kazarian may be the only X-Division title holder to not actually have possession of the belt.
Next up was for the Knockout’s Championship between Tara and Madison Rayne, with Tara putting her career on the line if she didn’t win. It was no secret that her contract was up, so it was a bit of a pointless match. The Knockout division used to be pretty interesting as far as women’s wrestling goes. With characters like Hamada, Roxxi, Awesome Kong, Alisa Flash, etc. The Knockouts Division wasn’t the joke it is today. To my reckoning, this may have been Madison’s first one-on-one match on TV in TNA (which is a good feat for a single’s title holder!) The match stunk, and you could see that Tara was trying to make it look like a good match. Poor Tara. The crowd were in particularly bad form, especially for a career match; they didn’t seem to give a shit when she was pinned. It was only when Tara was being escorted away by security that a few chants of “thank you Tara” started up. Poor Tara; her last match and it was awful.
Next we had a short promo of Eric Young with Band. It seems that Eric Young may have his tongue firmly embedded into his cheek in this promo. He says something along the lines of “look at the players in TNA, nothing but wannabes and has-beens. I am the only one cool enough to hang out with the Band.” This made me laugh so hard I nearly popped a shit. Eric Young sounds like some geeky kid in primary school who’s been allowed to hang out with the cool kids... hahahaha! Because Hall and Nash are pretty old and can either, hardly walk, or are too fat to do much cardio-vascular stuff, Nash announced that the Band held the title, not just Hall and Nash. So, like the Fabulous Freebirds, any combination could defend the title at any given time. I glad that go cleared up.
So onto the tag team title match between the Band and Ink Inc. Contrary to what Nash had hinted at only moments before, it was actually Hall and Nash who waddled and limped to the ring, leaving EY backstage presumably to look after Hall and Nash’s grandkids or something. Unsurprisingly, this match was another stinker. Both Nash and Hall look so slow and bumbly in the ring, it’s not even funny anymore. The ref got knocked out, EY came out with a kendo stick. There was a bit of a kerfuffle. Brother Ray came out and interfered, beating on Jesse Neal. The Band retained the titles. Yawn.
Next we had the Ring vs Chelsea match between Abyssmal (geddit?) and Desmond Wolfe. Now, I didn’t realise that TNA condone white slavery, but clearly they do, as the stipulation if Wolfe lost was that Chelsea would become Abyss’s slave for 30 days in a boring Beauty and the Beast style set-up. Abyss looked pretty funny waddling around the ring with Wolfe. It must have been difficult for Wolfe going up against such a lame competitor. The match began with Wolfe being attacked on the ramp by Abyss while Chelsea sat watching from a throne (don’t ask, I don’t know). Again Tazz was coming out this some lame lines, though I nearly wet myself when he said that Chelsea “probably wants to throw up in her own mouth” – seriously, Tazz, what the fuck? So with Chelsea tasting bile in the back of her throat, Abyss choke slams Wolfe. Chelsea distracted Abyss and threw some brass knuckles into the ring. Wolfe smacked Abyss in the head and he goes down quicker than your mother for a can of cider. Wolfe goes in for the pin and Abyss gets up. This is where the match got fucking stupid. Abyss started Hulking up, Wolfe kept hitting Abyss, but for some reason he was immune to its effects. Abyss took Wolfe up for a Black Hole Slam for the pin. Victorious, Abyss spoke to Chelsea and spit went flying from his mouth onto her face and onto the camera lens; it was fucking disgusting. Poor Chelsea.
Next up we have Anderson and Hardy. I can’t actually remember what these guys are feuding about, but Anderson cut one of the best promos I’ve seen all year. I was literally laughing out loud, lol. I love it when small things in promos catch on. Getting the crowd chanting “I’m an asshole” was brilliant. I’m looking forward to seeing how this will work on TV. Will Spike censor the crowd every time this chant starts? I hope so, it will be like listing to the audio equivalent of a strobe light. This was probably the first time in the evening that the crowd started to get into the show, which made for better viewing and made for better in-ring performances. The match started with Anderson grounding Hardy for the first few minutes; there’s some pretty decent wrestling going on, but nothing even close to the level of Anderson and Angle at Lockdown. The match starts to step up when Hardy uses a chair to catapult himself towards Anderson in a textbook Sabu style dive over the top rope. Both competitors pulled out their usual signature moves, with Hardy doing a Swanton Bomb from the top rope for the win. The match ended with what could possibly be a double turn: Anderson held offered a handshake to Hardy, who refused and left him standing in centre of the ring.
We then cut to a promo with AJ Styles, who tells Christie that “these are dark times for TNA” – indeed they are, indeed they are. Poignantly we are now ready for one of the most pointless matches of the evening. I didn’t give a shit about this match, TNA hadn’t even bothered to build it up and the announcing was just awful throughout. “Why Sting? Why?” The match itself lasted for less than a minute and was really just a pre-match brawl in which Jarrett showed us his best Ric Flair impression by bleeding everywhere with that crazy bright red blood that only wrestlers seem to have running through their veins. Once they finally get in the ring, Sting does a Scorpion Death Drop and gets the pin-fall. Why Sting? Why? Sting continues his beat down and puts Jarrett’s shoulders between the ring steps and a baseball bat and stomps a couple of times. It is at this point that Hogan rushes out and, erm, does fuck all, but this ends the beat down. Why Sting? Why? Why didn’t Sting end on a high at Bound for Glory? Why Sting? Why?
Finally, we come to the main event. On paper, this is a dream match for me: AJ Styles versus Rob Van Dam. This match had some great moments, but I found it quite boring on the whole. The match was very slow to start with lots of posturing and stalling by both parties. At every opportunity during the match, RVD stood in the ring doing that arm thing in time with his name. Enough already! Flair came down to ringside only to be flanked by Lethal who gets him with some chops and a Figure Four Leglock. This was the best bit of the match. RVD did his Frog Splash and won, retaining the title and being a boring champion for at least another month... good to see Lethal in a main event though!
So, I just watched Sacrifice and it wasn't the best PPV I've seen. Worst moments: Rob Terry selling like a spastic to Jordan. Highlight: Mr Kenderson's promo. Realisations: Hardy is not a great wrestler, but has good moments. RVD is doing my head in and should fuck off back to the indies so he can point at himself and people to chant his initials.
And why did Abyss drool all over Chelsea? Anyway, onto the Clown's predictions:
Clown's Sacrifice Predictions
MATT MORGAN vs SAMOA JOE
Didn't happen, but would have been better than RVD vs AJ...
3D vs BEER MONEY vs MCMG
Flair's boys (Beer Money) will get the 1-2-3. - Nope, went to MCMG - maybe they'll get a title at last?
THE BAND vs INK INC.
The Band. No way would they win the belts on Thursday only to lose them on Sunday...and why bother abruptly ending the Morgan/Ink feud so they can get the belts from The Band instead of Morgan? That is, of course, unless 3D interferes in which case the belts will go to their boy Jesse Neal.
So close with the prediction... Bubba Ray took out Neal, Band won.
MADISON RAYNE vs TARA
Who gives a fuck? (Madison to win, Tara's contract is up, but I really don't care...bring back Kong, give Alyssa Flash and Hamada a big push, and I might actually start watching the knockouts again...Wylde is good, but she's not so good she can carry an entire division on her back - nobody is.) - yup
ROB TERRY vs ORLANDO JORDAN
Tough to call...Jordan has laid out Terry on iMPACT the last two weeks with no comeback, which would usually point to a Terry win...but I have a feeling in my gut that this one will run a while longer. It's a coin toss...I'm gonna go Jordan I think. - Terry won, but Jordan is so much better in the ring than Rob Roidy
WOLFE vs ABYSS
I hope I'm wrong, but Abyss to win. I only hope it's a decent match, and not a one-sided squash like I suspect it'll be. If Wolfe wins, it won't be clean.
EDIT: Just remembered the Chelsea vs Ring stipulation...I can't see Abyss and Chelsea together after this week's iMPACT, but I can see Wolfe going 'Hahaha I got the ring'. Wolfe to win.
- wrong... this storyline is fucking retarded.
2ND EDIT: I just found out that the 'Chelsea becomes Abyss's manager' stipulation is only for 30 days, not permanant. Abyss to win.
- yup
KAZ vs DOUG
Kaz to win. They wouldn't have stripped Doug of the belt and given it to Kaz if he wasn't going to win the 3-way at Lockdown anyway. Joe to do a run-in and batter the winner if he doesn't fight Morgan.
- Williams won, but I'm sure Kaz will cash in his rematch and get the title...
ANDERSON vs HARDY
Anderson to win by screwjob. I have a feeling that Pope might show up and prove me wrong, but if Pope's not there I can see this feud running a little longer.
- nope, pretty dull match, Hardy won. Hardy looked a mess. Anderson gave promo of the year.
RVD vs AJ
RVD to win :(
- this match pwas bullshit. Kurt Angle is Mr TNA, not this stoner prick who was good a decade ago. Oh look he's doing that arm thing again and getting people to chant his initials... yeaaaaahhhh!!!! ...wish I was mates with Hogan....
STING vs JEFF JARRETT
Hard to say, neither one of them was on iMPACT this week so tough to know where they're going with this angle...the booking for this so far has been a mess. Another cointoss...I'm gonna say Sting. No, Jarrett. No...I honestly don't know. - Sting, and the match was a joke.
Summary: Bullshit PPV, RVD can fuck off. Wolfe, AJ and Anderson shouldn't be jobbing... Orlando Jordan is underrated... Doug Williams should kick Rob Terry's face off and get two belts... Kevin Nash looks like a disabled old tramp... Ramone looks like a rapist... Let's go asshole
Ok, let's see how badly I embarrass myself here ;)
MATT MORGAN vs SAMOA JOE
I'm not sure if this is happening or not - it's listed on the Sacrifice 2010 Wikipedia article but not on the TNA website. If it does happen, Joe all the way.
3D vs BEER MONEY vs MCMG
Team 3D - they're already feuding with The Band, so I'm pretty sure they'll get the nod to go after their newly acquired titles. That is, of course, unless The Band interferes in which case Flair's boys (Beer Money) will get the 1-2-3.
THE BAND vs INK INC.
The Band. No way would they win the belts on Thursday only to lose them on Sunday...and why bother abruptly ending the Morgan/Ink feud so they can get the belts from The Band instead of Morgan? That is, of course, unless 3D interferes in which case the belts will go to their boy Jesse Neal.
MADISON RAYNE vs TARA
Who gives a fuck? (Madison to win, Tara's contract is up, but I really don't care...bring back Kong, give Alyssa Flash and Hamada a big push, and I might actually start watching the knockouts again...Wylde is good, but she's not so good she can carry an entire division on her back - nobody is.)
ROB TERRY vs ORLANDO JORDAN
Tough to call...Jordan has laid out Terry on iMPACT the last two weeks with no comeback, which would usually point to a Terry win...but I have a feeling in my gut that this one will run a while longer. It's a coin toss...I'm gonna go Jordan I think.
WOLFE vs ABYSS
I hope I'm wrong, but Abyss to win. I only hope it's a decent match, and not a one-sided squash like I suspect it'll be. If Wolfe wins, it won't be clean.
EDIT: Just remembered the Chelsea vs Ring stipulation...I can't see Abyss and Chelsea together after this week's iMPACT, but I can see Wolfe going 'Hahaha I got the ring'. Wolfe to win.
2ND EDIT: I just found out that the 'Chelsea becomes Abyss's manager' stipulation is only for 30 days, not permanant. Abyss to win.
KAZ vs DOUG
Kaz to win. They wouldn't have stripped Doug of the belt and given it to Kaz if he wasn't going to win the 3-way at Lockdown anyway. Joe to do a run-in and batter the winner if he doesn't fight Morgan.
ANDERSON vs HARDY
Anderson to win by screwjob. I have a feeling that Pope might show up and prove me wrong, but if Pope's not there I can see this feud running a little longer.
RVD vs AJ
RVD to win :(
STING vs JEFF JARRETT
Hard to say, neither one of them was on iMPACT this week so tough to know where they're going with this angle...the booking for this so far has been a mess. Another cointoss...I'm gonna say Sting. No, Jarrett. No...I honestly don't know.
At the start of Smackdown, Jeff Hardy came out looking like he'd put on a few pounds, especially around his face, maybe he's bloated through the drugs or maybe he just couldn't stop when the Pringles popped. Oh wait, that's Matt isn't it? Jeff's fat older brother, that makes sense. So Matt Hardy's out and he is cutting a promo about Drew McIntyre, and how Drew McIntyre was really mean to him. This is where the drama begins to unfold: Drew McIntyre enters, with a, wait for it, real life microphone. Just in case you didn't know that McIntyre is the heel, the bad guy, the one we're meant to boo, he's wearing a suit. That's how you know that a wrestler is a heel: he will come out wearing a suit. They talk for a while, threats are made, the story arcs are set up and then Drew makes his way to the ring. 8 minutes into Smackdown we see our first bit of in-ring action, it's more of a beat down than a match, but it sure is moving along quicker than last week's episode of Raw. The drama continues to unfold as Fat Matt and McIntyre are joined in the ring by officials trying to pull them apart. Old Drew is relentless, and with the blurry and shaky camera work, you can almost see him hit fat Matt. As the officials pull Drew away, who should make an entrance but Smackdown general manager Teddy Long. Instead of setting up a match between Hardy and McIntyre, Teddy lays down the law: he suspends McIntyre. Holy shit! Now the drama really is begining to unfurl. As you can imagine, Drew McIntyre is the not the king of guy to take this lightly, on the contrary, he takes it, erm, heavily and runs back to fat Matt to give him another beating. Now this was the final straw for Mr Long who declared the Drew McIntyre was to be stripped of his Intercontinental title. Holy shit! The drama is really unravelling now. Something like that will really put McIntyre in his place. Something like that will stop McIntyre wanting to beat on fat Matt. Wrong! McIntyre takes the stripping of his title heavier than the fat around fat Matt's fat neck. Like an autisic child, McIntyre doesn't make the link between cause and effect, doesn't make the link between action and consiquence; this guy's never even heard of Newton. So he goes again and beats on fat Matt. What else has the guy got to lose? He may as well get a few punches in before they drag his ass out of the building. Mistake. Teddy Long really lays the law down now and fires Drew McIntyre! Holy shit, now the drama has just gone mental in a dustbin, this is just nuts. Of course, there is not a possible chance in the world that Vince McMahonn will come out next week and overturn T-Lo's ruling, is there?
So, 15 minutes in we have our first match, a pretty uneventful affair between MVP and Luke Gallows, yawn. As I thought, this match was a set up for Rey Mysterio and CM Punk to have a microphone wrestle. The feud between Rey Mysterio and CM Punk has been going on since the road to Wrestlemania and they are still dragging this one out after 3 months. Let's recap: at Wrestlemania, if Mysterio lost he would have to join the Straight Edge Society; at Exteme Rules, if Punk lost he would have to have his hair shaved. How do you raise the stakes for Punk and Mysterio's rubber match at Over the Limit? What crazy stipulations will be pulled out of the bag for this one? Holy shit! If Mysterio lose he has to join the Straight Edge Society, if Punk loses he has to have his head shaved. With the stipulations combined, the WWE Universe are assured that this match will be as good as, or better than, the two previous matches. With a big chunk already cut out of Punk's hair, it's obvious that Mysterio will win. Okay, I know I said before that it was against the laws of physics and logic for Mysterio to lose against Punk, only to lose against Punk at Extreme Rules, but I'm a humble man, I can admit when I was wrong. But, when things are at stake for Mysterio, he has to win, he just has to.
With McIntyre out of the picture, what now for the Intercontinental title? Well, let me tell you. Mr Long sets up a tournament of the top four contenders to get the belt. This got me thinking, if Hardy and McIntyre hadn't had a fight and McIntyre hadn't been suspended, then stripped of his title, then fired, then this week's Smackdown would be coming to its main event at this point, making it a very short Smackdown indeed, it's almost as if this shit is planned or scripted, but that can't be, right?
Match one in the IC tournament was between Kofi Kingston and Dolph Zigler. When I saw Smackdown live a few months ago, one of best chants of the night was for Dolph Ziggler "he's Jeff Jarrett" *clap clap clap clap clap*. Again, we have another mediocre match, with Kofi Kingston moving on to the IC final next week.
Match two saw Cody Rhodes taking on Christian. This wasn't a bad match, a lot of energy and some pretty decent moves. Christian went on to win, and I predict will win the IC belt then have to defend it at over the limit against McIntyre.
The final match of the evening was Jack Swagger versus Kane in a non-title bout. Kane in a main event? Kane? Maybe over a decade ago, but I thought that Kane's role was to take out jobbers to fill in some time between the proper matches. Swagger entered the ring and began telling us more of his achievements. What a great guy, he's so smart and athletic. Oh wait, he's a heel, "boooooo". The match begins and who should join the announcers but Big Show. There's no way he's going to sit at the side of the ring is he? The match lasts for a little over 5 minutes and Swagger is DQed for not releasing a hold in time. At the end of the match the Big Show enters the ring and beats down on Swagger. The Big Show, in an act of defiance, takes the world title and holds it aloft as if he were the champion. Does Teddy Long come out and suspend the Big Show? He doesn't? I'm beginning to sense some anti-British rhetoric going on here.
In summary: I really don't know why I still bother watching Smackdown.
With 2010 now behind us, we can look back and pick our favourite moments of the year. May I introduce to you, the Socko’s – wrestling’s most coveted awards ceremony. Unlike the Slammies, the Socko’s will include such obscure categories as Match of the Year and Promo of the Year. Let’s do this. 
