That Clown from Outta Town - August 5th iMPACT

Another week, another iMPACT.

I'm looking forward to the MCMG v Beer Money match. Kinda curious about the Jay Lethal v Ric Flair street fight too. Let's hope they actually start with wrestling today. Also, announcing the matches for Hardcore Justice would be nice.

2:49 - Dreamer's on his way to the ring...but dressed to chat, not wrestle. Please don't cry again, Tommy.
6:14 - Best Raven promo ever.
7:19 - FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY
7:44 - Special ref? He's not going to wrestle :'(
9:21 - Knockouts, fast forwarding
10:58 - Oh wait, Hamada...watching.
15:46 - Ref bump...ffs TNA stop with the ref bumps
16:24 - Not the greatest match - Lacey is improving, but she's still too green for TV. Still, new champs so we'll be seeing more of Hamada - the best Knockout.
17:17 - AJ v Rob Terry again - after Rob destroyed Kaz last week in under 30 seconds, we might be seeing two championship changes in as many matches...
18:13 - And as soon as I hear AJ's music, anything seems possible. I love that tune. I was Audiosurf world champion for AJ's theme tune - true story. AJ to retain.
22:42 - AJ got battered, but pulled it out in the end. I love that 450 splash.
24:35 - Angle v AJ - Can't fucking wait
26:02 - Woop woop, Ultimate X coming up :D
27:35 - FFS, TNA - you say Ultimate X is up next, then cut to the Beautiful People scrapping backstage...NOBODY CARES
27:44 - "Trust my ass"...great promo, Velvet.
28:13 - IT'S TIME
32:26 - Bell finally rings...
39:57 - 2nd best huricarana ever.
41:36 - Sliced Bread on the apron...fucking hell
42:26 - Awesome, awesome match. TNA can really pull it out when they want to.
43:00 - What better way to follow that great match than a Bischoff promo? FFS
45:20 - Wow, Hogan looks tired
46:05 - Oh FFS, Bischoff is special ref in the Janice on a pole match
46:41 - Looks like Hard justice is just going to be the special iMPACT next week...so I'm guessing no TNA matches whatsoever at Hardcore Justice :D
51:30 - Sting and Nash kicking ass...finally, the one guy who was kicking the shit out of Bischoff on a regular basis is back :D
53:52 - Pope v Jordan...this could be good.
55:53 - What the fuck.
62:38 - Streetfight time :)
64:24 - It's weird how the Angle angle has gone from Angle saying 'If I lose, it may be my last match' to 'If Angle loses, he MUST RETIRE'...
70:56 - Ridiculous match - it ended up with Flair wearing one sock, one shoe and pants...nothing else. He even got his arse out. FFS. Aside from that, not a bad match though.
73:24 - RVD v Jerry Lynn is the Hardcore Justice main event :D
76:33 - So...you've got RVD, Tommy Dreamer, Raven and Abyss in one match...and they don't book it as a hardcore match. FFS TNA.
81:36 - FUCK YEAH SANDMAN

Awesome iMPACT, main event was a bit shit but apart for that great. MCMG v Beer Money was the highlight, for the 4th week running. Can't wait for PPV.

They only announced 2 matches for Hardcore Justice, I think most of the people showing up are going to be a surprise...I'd love to see Tajiri v Super Crazy, but that's probably the least likely match possible. This is going to be awesome.

That Clown from Outta Town: TNA iMPACT, May 20th

Pretty much the only thing I'm interested in going into iMPACT is what the backlash for the Sting match is going to be. As always, I hope they start with wrestling, not talking!

2:03 - FUCK YEAH ANGLE'S BACK!
2:30 - "Let's not waste another minute, let's bring out Eric Bischoff" - Er, what? Those two things are mutually exclusive...also, START WITH FUCKING WRESTLING, NOT FUCKING TALKING!
5:02 - Joe at fucking number 10?! Are you fucking mad? He should be top 5 easily, if not top 3...ffs!
5:07 - Here he comes...Muscle Buster on Bischoff please!
5:37 - ROB FUCKING TERRY IS ABOVE JOE IN THE RANKINGS? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
6:26 - Wolfe only at 8? This is fucking bullshit. Fuck you, Bischoff.
7:08 - Pope at 7...that's probably about right tbh.
7:47 - Abyss at 6...I can live with that one too.
8:29 - Anderson at 5. With Joe at 10. Bollocks to that.
9:12 - Jeff Hardy at 4. That's too high imo, he's hardly set TNA on fire since showing up.
10:10 - AJ at number 3...probably about right.
10:56 - Kurt Angle at number 2? That's only right if Joe is number 1. Who the fuck is at #1? If it's Sting I won't be amused.
12:26 - It's Sting. What. I hope he does to RVD what he did to Jarrett.
13:27 - I agree with the fans who are chanting "We want recount"
14:07 - Sting vs Hardy. WON'T THAT BE FUN
16:05 - Here comes RVD to save the day...something interesting almost happened on iMPACT, luckily RVD was there to break it up.
16:53 - That was briefly awesome...Bischoff getting battered, Hardy about to get battered. Sting is actually becoming one of my favourite guys on TNA after decades of indifference towards the guy. But Joe still deserves a title match more.
19:00 - Knockouts - fast forwarding.
25:35 - Actually - why is Angle even on the #1 contenders list? He can't have another title match for the rest of the year, according to the stipulations for the last match he had against AJ...
26:22 - Here he comes :D It wasn't the same without Kurt.
27:49 - 'You still are' chant :3
30:22 - Angle to fight the entire top ten, starting at ten...ANGLE vs JOE MOTHERFUCKERS FUCK YEAH
30:57 - "He doesn't want it handed to him...Kurt Angle wants to earn it" - That's why Angle is the greatest wrestler in the word. Unlike the current champion, who is quite happy to have it handed to him.
31:34 - Beer Money vs Jay Lethal & Mystery Partner...glad to see Lethal back in the ring :)
34:24 - Orlando Jordan coming down from the rafters again - I wonder if him and Sting hang out up there?
38:04 - Hahaha DDT on his leg
43:13 - Jesse Neal vs 3D feud could be interesting...I like both teams.
45:03 - I think I'd rather see a handicap match with Lethal vs Beer Money than Lethal & RVD tagging against them. And I say that as a Jay Lethal fan.
47:59 - 8 man X-Division Battle Royale for the #10 contender spot? Could be great, could be shite. Battle Royales are tough to make interesting. I hope Red wins it. Red or Williams. I suspect Kaz will get it though, which would be cool too.
50:05 - Pretty good tag match. Might be my favourite RVD TNA match; he was hardly in it and Lethal is awesome.
52:12 - YES YES FUCK HIM UP STINGER
55:30 - The handover of Chelsea...this ought to be...interesting.
60:45 - Nothing like a good old fashioned bottling :) <3 England! That cut looks nasty...
61:21 - Raeptime for Chelsea
62:01 - The Band :) After seeing a few episodes of Last Call with Scott Hall I actually quite like him now.
62:23 - Haha, Eric goes 'I understand the boos' to the people booing. 'Boos' sounds like 'booze'. And he's standing next to Scott Hall. Well, I thought it was funny anyway.
70:47 - a Band vs 3D vs Ink 3-way feud would be awesome.
71:06 - X Division Battle Royale - fuck em up, Red
71:26 - And Red is first out. Ffs. Go Generation Me!
71:58 - And Max is out. I'm fucking cursed.
72:20 - And Jeremy is out. Go Sabin. Even though Kaz is blatantly going to win.
52:50 - And Sabin's out. The curse continues.
73:45 - Kaz wins. A 2 minute 8 man Battle Royale. 2 fucking minutes. Still, Angle vs Kaz should be fun.
74:35 - Sting vs Hardy. Fuck him up Sting.
79:08 - Sting seems to have turned into Superman - nobody can touch him. He's fucking Hardy up.
82:07 - That ref bump'll be on Botchamania.
83:41 - FUCK THEM BOTH UP STING

Fairly decent iMPACT this week. The Sting angle is building nicely (I still have no idea what it's about), the 3D/Ink feud is heating up, Jay Lethal back in the ring after way too long. No Destructo-Joe though T_T

Clown's Sacrifice predictions revisited...

So, I just watched Sacrifice and it wasn't the best PPV I've seen.
Worst moments: Rob Terry selling like a spastic to Jordan.
Highlight: Mr Kenderson's promo.
Realisations: Hardy is not a great wrestler, but has good moments. RVD is doing my head in and should fuck off back to the indies so he can point at himself and people to chant his initials.

And why did Abyss drool all over Chelsea?
Anyway, onto the Clown's predictions:


Clown's Sacrifice Predictions

MATT MORGAN vs SAMOA JOE

Didn't happen, but would have been better than RVD vs AJ...

3D vs BEER MONEY vs MCMG

Flair's boys (Beer Money) will get the 1-2-3. - Nope, went to MCMG - maybe they'll get a title at last?

THE BAND vs INK INC.

The Band. No way would they win the belts on Thursday only to lose them on Sunday...and why bother abruptly ending the Morgan/Ink feud so they can get the belts from The Band instead of Morgan? That is, of course, unless 3D interferes in which case the belts will go to their boy Jesse Neal.

So close with the prediction... Bubba Ray took out Neal, Band won.

MADISON RAYNE vs TARA

Who gives a fuck? (Madison to win, Tara's contract is up, but I really don't care...bring back Kong, give Alyssa Flash and Hamada a big push, and I might actually start watching the knockouts again...Wylde is good, but she's not so good she can carry an entire division on her back - nobody is.) - yup

ROB TERRY vs ORLANDO JORDAN

Tough to call...Jordan has laid out Terry on iMPACT the last two weeks with no comeback, which would usually point to a Terry win...but I have a feeling in my gut that this one will run a while longer. It's a coin toss...I'm gonna go Jordan I think. -
Terry won, but Jordan is so much better in the ring than Rob Roidy

WOLFE vs ABYSS

I hope I'm wrong, but Abyss to win. I only hope it's a decent match, and not a one-sided squash like I suspect it'll be. If Wolfe wins, it won't be clean.

EDIT: Just remembered the Chelsea vs Ring stipulation...I can't see Abyss and Chelsea together after this week's iMPACT, but I can see Wolfe going 'Hahaha I got the ring'. Wolfe to win.

- wrong... this storyline is fucking retarded.

2ND EDIT: I just found out that the 'Chelsea becomes Abyss's manager' stipulation is only for 30 days, not permanant. Abyss to win.

- yup

KAZ vs DOUG

Kaz to win. They wouldn't have stripped Doug of the belt and given it to Kaz if he wasn't going to win the 3-way at Lockdown anyway. Joe to do a run-in and batter the winner if he doesn't fight Morgan.

- Williams won, but I'm sure Kaz will cash in his rematch and get the title...

ANDERSON vs HARDY

Anderson to win by screwjob. I have a feeling that Pope might show up and prove me wrong, but if Pope's not there I can see this feud running a little longer.

- nope, pretty dull match, Hardy won. Hardy looked a mess. Anderson gave promo of the year.

RVD vs AJ

RVD to win :(

- this match pwas bullshit. Kurt Angle is Mr TNA, not this stoner prick who was good a decade ago. Oh look he's doing that arm thing again and getting people to chant his initials... yeaaaaahhhh!!!! ...wish I was mates with Hogan....


STING vs JEFF JARRETT

Hard to say, neither one of them was on iMPACT this week so tough to know where they're going with this angle...the booking for this so far has been a mess. Another cointoss...I'm gonna say Sting. No, Jarrett. No...I honestly don't know.
- Sting, and the match was a joke.

Summary: Bullshit PPV, RVD can fuck off. Wolfe, AJ and Anderson shouldn't be jobbing... Orlando Jordan is underrated... Doug Williams should kick Rob Terry's face off and get two belts... Kevin Nash looks like a disabled old tramp... Ramone looks like a rapist... Let's go asshole

Bad Boy Martin's Commentaries: Jay Lethal vs Orlando Jordan

A midlands-based wrestling fan, Bad Boy Martin has got in touch and sent us this video. It is his own unique take on a TNA Xplosion match between Jay Lethal and Orlando Jordan from before Russo started to recycle the Goldust angle... Enjoy.
This is a Socko's Review exclusive! He'd love to hear your comments.

Tell me why I don't like Mondays...

Raw wasn't great this week but there was a couple of impressive debut matches from some of the 'rookies', especially Brian Danielson. He was never going to win, but looked good none the less.

Then there's Sheamus, the angry Irishman. He ticks a few of the stereotypical boxes such as calling people 'Fella', Christian imagery on his outfit, pasty complexion and ginger hair - I guess he has much to be angry about, all things considered. Watching him run in on a weekly basis, kick someone in the head, look smug and then exit again is just getting a little tedious.

I watched Raw this week in the company of Mr Socko of Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Review fame and we both came to the conclusion that Smackdown is turning into a bit of a dumping ground for shite stars (Jack Swagger, Undertaker, Kane, Big Show etc.) and that WWE in general is just getting somewhat... tame.

Onwards and upwards then, TNA impact on the same day. TNA has been on the up again for a while now so surely nothing could stop this train from coming off the track, could it? The show for me started with great work from Jay Lethal and the very convincing Ric Flair impersonation he did (obviously only if you keep your eyes closed) who has started to make a bit of a name for himself lately, but when he had flair where he should have been the typically boring free for all started which was a good moment for Hogan to come in and steal the spotlight as usual. One of the biggest surprises for me regarding flair this week is the fact that he didn't bleed at all; has he finally bled himself dry?

Knockouts - Fast forward time. However, at the end of this match, Tara (or is it Tera?) pretty much announced that she's off, so that's a bonus.

Mr. Anderson was pretty amusing as always, Jeff Hardy looked bloated, drugs taking their toll perchance.

The band... Embarrassing as always and now they have a new member to change their incontinence pants and wipe the dribble from their mouths, Eric Young. If you include Sean Waltman, they have a combined age of 170 - scrape that barrel baby.

Orlando Jordan and the O-Zone - hmm, don't ask.

Desmond Wolfe challenging RVD was simply disappointing, it could have been a classic if Hulk didn't need to steal the spotlight one more time with Sting.

I'd give it maybe 5/10, but I'm feeling generous - I agree with Clown - good in the middle, but shite elsewhere.

Review: TNA Impact! 3rd May

I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet because the clown from outta town, if that is his real name, summed the show up pretty perfect.

Some points:

1) Desmond Wolfe versus RVD was a big anti-climax. It seems that the number one contender poll is just a vote as to who will be RVD's next jobber.
2) Joe was awesome, why the hell isn't he being pushed?
3) Orlando Jordan is apparently being sued by Goldust for plagiarism.
4) Who's that old guy who came in who looks like Kevin Nash?
5) Who's that old guy who came in who looks like Razor Ramone?
6) TNA listens to its fans, which is why they are going back to Thursdays.
7) With Tara's contract up, I wonder if she'll win her career match?
8) Lacey von Eric might be a post-op transexual.
9) With EY joining the Band and Nash holding the feast or fire case, the Band are more likely to get a push as tag title holders than get booted of the air.
10) Jay Lethal makes a good Nature Boy.

Listen to this fan. No one cares about WCW. No one cares about feuds from 15 years ago. Raw and TNA are both turning into 'wrestling lite'.