WWE Extreme Rules: Predictions

It’s time for my WWE Extreme Rules predictions:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)

I’m not sure what makes an Extreme Rules match any different from a no-DQ match, and as no one on TV has explained what exactly an Extreme Rules match entails, I’m pretty sure that most casual fans will have no idea what this means.

There is only one way that this match can go, and that is with a convincing win for Brock Lesnar. Of course, they could give the win to Cena, but this would be incredibly short-sighted. Based on WWE’s track-record over the last few years however, this is a distinct possibility.

I am working on the theory that Cena is going to be on a losing streak in order for his character to become more serious while still remaining a babyface. Though everything is currently pointing to a double turn by Cena and Brock, I just can’t see this happening. I can see another big match that Cena will lose, perhaps against another outsider like Batista or JBL (though I can’t see the latter returning any time soon).

Brock to win.


World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)
This is a very difficult one to call because I’m sure that the audience’s reaction to Bryan since Mania has damaged the push of Sheamus. Are WWE going to run with it in the way that they did Jeff Hardy, or are they going to be in the mindset of letting the audience know how wrong they are, as they did with Ryder?

I find it amusing that WWE went for the record-breaking win with these two (a move which would have added more to the Cody/Big Show feud), only for it to backfire. I’m sure that the writers thought that it would be the perfect way to elevate Sheamus – it didn’t work and the fans turned. I know that personally I was pretty pissed off. Last year I’d paid for the match, only for it to be demoted to the dark match, only to be screwed again. To say I felt a little ripped off is an understatement.

I’m hoping that we’ll get a long, 4 star plus match out of this one. I hope they don’t do two quick pins with Sheamus retaining. Although I can’t see it happening, Bryan was a great champion and I’d love to see him get another run. Of course, this is WWE in 2012, so Sheamus is clearly going to win.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)
The premise of the whole feud has been lame. I’m not interested in the feud at all, even though the match has the potential to be pretty decent.

If I’ve learnt one thing about sports through this feud, if you want to get a shot at a championship, the best thing to do is to lose clean at the biggest show of the year and then pour alcohol on your opponent. Junior Dos Santos should take heed, if someone pours Bourbon on you, that title shot is as good as signed.
Jericho to win.

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)
Poor Randy Orton. Has Kane ever been in a decent feud? Think about it... he hasn’t, has he? Match should be okay, Orton should be feuding with Bryan at the moment (not Jinder Mahal as they are hinting).
Orton to win.


Intercontinental Champion Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Based on the booking, logic would say that Cody has no chance of winning. This is WWE in 2012, so based on his losing streak, Cody will win.

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. The Miz
Poor Miz. The burial continues. Even if he wins, who gives a shit about the US title?
Miz to win.

Divas Champion Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix
The match made on Twitter. Nikki will retain.

Final thoughts
This has the potential for three decent matches. I really want to see Danielson regain the title, after a gruelling back-and-forth match that elevates both guys. I wish Kane would just retire.

Wrestlemania 28 predictions

With an underwhelming go-home show for this year’s Wrestlemania in the bag, it is time to put my hat into the ring and choose my predictions for this year’s show.
Compared to the last two years, Wrestlemania 28 is by far a much stronger bill up and down the card. I still find it odd that they are billing the show as having FOUR main events, but who cares? I’m past trying to think through WWE’s bizarre logic.
Anyway, let’s take a look at the card (which will probably be tweaked come Sunday):

Randy Orton vs. Kane
This match has had almost zero build. Kane was feuding with Zack Ryder and Cena, getting Cena to embrace the hate, then Kane realised that he’d shook Rany Orton’s hand last summer and so build a match from that. This feud (if you can even call it that) feels more like an after-thought than anything to get excited about. The match should be fine, and Orton will win.

Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres
This will be when I get some beers and put on some hotdogs. The token celebrity match (though Menounos is pretty much unheard of outside of the US). I hope it’s short, because it will certainly be a dud by anyone’s standards. Faces to win.

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show for the Intercontinental Title
Cody Rhodes is very good, so this match has potential to be pretty entertaining. Cody has been humiliating Show for weeks, so the build has been really strong. I predict a win for Cody, with the Big Show probably snapping after the match and destroying Cody. Show will get his revenge, but Cody will keep the title.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
The geek match. It’s really hard to care about the result of this match because Teddy Long is so unlikable and Otunga and Johnny are so entertaining as a double-act (just please don’t put Otunga in the ring). I think it’s obvious that Teddy Long’s team is losing, and there should be some pretty decent spots in the match. I predict that Drew MacIntyre (of all people) will get the pin in order to rebuild his character... but I’m not holding my breath.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title
Main Event time! This was the match I paid for last year but never got, so it’s good to see that it is now the main event and not a dark match. This match has the potential to elevate both Sheamus and Danielson to the next level. I just hope they are given a decent amount of time to show what they can do. The only thing which might work against this match is the lack of heat between Danielson and Sheamus. For months Danielson had heat with Henry, Cole, Show, even AJ, but there’s not been much with Sheamus. I think the build has made it quite obvious that Sheamus will win (even though Sheamus, and not the champ was pinned on Raw).

The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a Hell in a Cell Match
Main Event time! This match will be awesome and I can’t wait. I predict that Undertaker will win, probably after kicking out of a Sweet Chin Music at some point. They’ve done a hell of a job building this match up, some of the promos have told really intriguing stories. I think they missed a trick by not having Shawn out on the last Raw doing a promo with ambiguous wording as way to add more intrigue to the match, but hey, we had to see the same Rock/Cena promo again. I predict lots of blood, and a good slow-paced match with lots of drama.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho for the WWE Title
Main Event time! I’ve really enjoyed the way they’ve built up this match. It’s nice to see that Jericho has got to Punk and that feud has moved beyond a simple “I’m the best”, “No, I’m the best” feud to something with more dimensions. I think they’ll have a hell of match, maybe the best of the night. I can see Jericho winning the title, with Punk winning it back at the next PPV.

John Cena vs. The Rock
WWE can’t win with this match. If Rock wins, Cena’s going to still be around to hold up the company, while Rock’s off doing films. If Cena wins, nothing will be gained and everyone who hates Cena going in will continue to hate Cena. A lot of the interest in the match has gone down for me. I’ve found Rock to be unlikable, relying on catchphrases and very out-of-date cultural references (Mark E Mark hasn’t been around for about 20 years, the Tellytubbies had their day about 15 years ago). Cena’s character came off well for a few weeks, but when he came out to do his Dr of Thugonomics gimmick, you knew that Cena, in any guise, is simply playing a role. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed the promos, they’ve been entertaining, but have they built up the match any more than they did a year ago? My feeling is not. Cena looks set to win, but it’s in Rock’s hometown so I can’t really see the 50/50 split that the WWE were hoping for.

Jon and Colin meet Maffew from Botchamania

Jon and Colin interview Maffew of Botchamania in his first ever face-to-face interview!

We talk about wrestling, video games, and Michael Barrymore.

In association with:

http://socksreview.blogspot.com
http://www.artfist.org
http://www.botchamania.com

Approx length: 1h45m, 128kbps mp3

Jon and Colin's Quintessentially English Wrestling Show

ere is Jon and Colin's Quintessentially English Wrestling Show.

It's a wrestling show with some comedy and stupidity from two English pro wrestling fans.
In the show:

Tribute to DPW
$5 Wrestling
TNA Live in UK reviews
TNA Against All Odds
WWE bullshit
Ring Ka King

Royal Rumble 2012

I think we all know Sheamus is gonna win this thing. Still, Punk v Dolph should be pretty interesting, someone's getting screwed but no idea who or how.

LET'S DO THIS

Nice, Bryan's up first...he's gonna get battered though

Michael Cole hates conceited people, apparently

Did Booker just say "This is fucking dangerous"

Holy shit, Bryan not only won, but won clean...awesome

And since he's a heel now, there's a good chance Punk might actually pull it off too

Kane v Cena...tempted to fast forward because I really don't give a shit

Cena can lift Big Show but not Kane...what

Pretty dull match...this should have gone first

Oh god, this is painful...the suffocation move looks terrible

I wonder what happened to the guy who won Tough Enough. Haven't heard from him in ages.

It's turned into a backstage brawl...boring as fuck

Kane v Ryder in a wheelchair is actually pretty funny...that should have been the actual match

That got a lot better after the match finished

Drew McIntyre gets a match? Why?. Literally nobody gives a fuck about him

OH SHIT ITS THE FUNKASAURUS

You'd think this'd get old.,,Nope.

Another quick win. I'm curious to see what'll happen when he gets a serious opponent

Punk time...Gonna grab some snacks and a beer, and enjoy the show.

Powebomb from Punk...don't think I've seen that before

FUCKING REF BUMP, NOT NOW WWE, DO THIS SHIT TO CENA OR ORTON OR WHOEVER THE FUCK BUT NOT DURING AN ACTUALLY DECENT MATCH

Very nice GTS reversal by Ziggler

Good match, the ref bump added nothing and it would have worked much better with no shenanigans...but still tied for match of the night with the cage match

RUMBLE TIME MOTHERFUCKER

So, Sheamus is going to win, but I'm hoping for Foley. Or THE MOTHERFUCKING FUNKASAURUS

Miz is number 1. This is good because he won't win, but bad because he's on my screen right now

Miz v Alex Riley...flashbacks to when the WWE was shit

FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY

Ricardo Rodriguez best entrance so far

Cobra v Socko is my favourite moment of the show so far

Foley's gone...it's all up to Brodus now. If he's even in it.

Holy shit, Kofi walking on his hands to avoid elimination...amazing

Dolph's in it...so Brodus might be...LETS GO FUNKASAURUS

Hacksaw Jim Duggan :D

FUCK YEAH KHARMA'S BACK WIN THIS THING KONG

Goddamit shes gone

Fuck, Booker said Sheamus is his number one pick, so he cant possibly win...gotta be a heel then...please don't be Miz

No Funkasaurus :(

Ok so down to Sheamus and Y2J...but Booker said Sheamus was gonna win, so it has to be Jericho, right?

Nope, I was right all along...Booker just threw me off

Back?

So I got a nice new flatscreen, meaning I can watch wrestling from my couch...meaning i can't watch and type at the same time.

Except now I have a smartphone so I can do Socko's Review again.

Expect biased, pro-Funkasaurus posts soon.

Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Podcast - Episode 3

At long last, we bring you episode 3 of Mr Socko's Pro Wrestling Podcast. In this episode we look at recent goings on in TNA, WWE and have a laugh about Summerslam 91 and the underused back rake...

Direct download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?6bl38zwt8t56bx5

Take care, get hit with a chair

Mr Socko's Wrestling Show - Episode 2

With over 100 downloads of our last podcast, we have decided to continue on our quest to scrape the barrel with wrestling-related chat. Here we have episode two of the Mr Socko’s Pro Wrestling Review radio show with The Colin and the “Rumbling” Jonny Jay. In this episode we talk about Over the Limit, Raw, Smackdown and TNA. As well as a tongue-in-cheek look at the world of pro-wrestling there is music, laughter and lots of cups of tea...

Click the link to download, let us know what you think!

http://www.mediafire.com/?d9ln43d6k994d93

Smackdown time :)

LETS DO THIS

- Randy Orton v Mark Henry tonight! Fucking yay, match of the year

- Starting with Christian in the ring...nice. A lot of wrestling shows could stand to actually start with a match

- Christian v Sheamus? Could be pretty decent

- Orton interrupting the post match beatdown again

- Did they really put Big Show v HHH from god knows when in the middle of Smackdown, or is the guy who uploaded the show playing silly buggers?

- Maybe someone got hurt, or did a shoot or something in that spot and they put the match there to fill the time?

- Including the 'Vault' thingie, and the Cena promo, that was like 20 minutes of nothing relevant whatsoever...better than 75 minutes + over at TNA, but still WTF

- And then a rundown of the PPV matches...this is like 25 minutes now, a quarter of the fucking show

- I've never been more happy to see Todd Grisham

- OH LOOK ANOTHER FUCKING REPLAY (but this time it's Kong so it's ok)

- Divas FUCK YES ANOTHER FUCKING KONG RUN IN ON THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS

- No Kong? WHAT THE FUCK

- Zeke promo...what

- Clearly went to the same promo school as Matt Morgan

- Kane, Show and Zeke v Corre...I knew it was only a matter of time

- Chavo talking shit about Sin Cara again...I think he's serious this time

- Chavo v Daniel Bryan, Chavo promising to beat him in under 5 minutes...I was really hoping Bryan would do better on Smackdown, but they seem to have him as a generic jobber :/

- Not a bad match actually.

- Ted DiBiase coming out with Cody Rhodes? Weren't they feuding last week?

- Weird promo...DiBiase with a bag on his head, talking in a Mexican accent, no explanation whatsoever

- Trent Baretta...kinda digging his music tbh

- Destroyed in about a minute or so

- Pointless Khali match

Pretty boring Smackdown too :/ Hopefully there'll be a ton of drama at the PPV to liven things up a little...

RAW 16th May 2011

I should be playing L.A. Noire right about now, but it's not out here till Thursday at the earliest...that means it's RAW time.

LETS DO THIS

- Watching on Youtube, don't look at the comments, don't look at the comments...
- Looked at the comments...Goldberg, talented? These people are fucking morons.
- Cena
- Alex Riley with the interruption before he even opens his mouth...nice
- Miz :/ Miz v Cena is a really dull feud
- 'Boo this fool' sign in the audience...I agree with that guy
- Cena trying to do 'funny'...it's the worst part of his gimmick by far. He's really good at 'intense', he should just stick to that
- Kofi v Punk :) Nice
- Could have been better, Punk got dominated but won with a Go To Sleep
- Just realised that's the first time I've seen Punk win in ages
- Cole v Lawler contract signing coming up :/
- DIVAS FUCK YES KONG'S GONNA FUCK YOU ALL UP
- L.A. Noire advert...rubbing it in >:(
- MITB is it's own PPV now??
- Not the greatest match tbh...it's gotta be Kong time soon
- HERE SHE FUCKING COMES KONGS GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR SISTERS HEAD
- Kong (sorry, Kharma) is one of the highlights of WWE right now
- Mysterio...hope Crackhead Truth shows up
- Mysterio called out Truth, and Truth actually didn't come out? Don't know that I've ever seen anyone ignore a callout before
- Del Rio v Mysterio
- Was going OK, but Truth interrupted
- AN INTERRUPTION WITH NO BEARING ON THE MATCH WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT
- Truth with a mic again...he's on meth
- Contract signing time...Someone's going through that table
- KISS THEM YOU PEASANT
- Nobody went through the table :(
- Show & Kane v Nexus...they're feuding two very similar factions in two different shows, it's weird
- "Another Zack Ryder Sign" sign
- Am I the only one who's more excited about the Christian v Orton match than the actual main event for the PPV?
- Zack Ryder chilling with Cena again :)
- Cena v Swagger :)
- Actually more boring than I was expecting

Kinda boring RAW, especially going into a PPV. I actually prefer Smackdown tbh. Maybe I'll check out some TNA so I start appreciating it again...

May 13th Smackdown

This Smackdown is all about Kong and the Christian angle for me.

LETS DO THIS

- Here comes Christian :)
- Rematch at the PPV...if last week's match was anything to go by, it could be the match of the night.
- Sheamus coming out to interrupt Christian...I'd rather see Danielson tbh
- "...the Dubyaubya universe..." Good work, Sheamus
- Sheamus v Christian :D This could be fucking awesome
- And Mark Henry comes out again :/
- Mark Henry & Sheamus in a handicap match v Christian...Orton with the save...What is going on
- Main event is gonna be a tag match with those 4...could be pretty decent, 3/4 of them are great.
- Chavo starting shit with Sin Cara again...Sin Cara is fucking awesome...his music is a bit 'world music'-y, could use a bit more energy, but in the ring he's great
- FUCK YEAH SIN CARA v DANIEL FUCKING BRYAN IF BRYAN WASN'T CLEARLY GONNA JUST JOB TO HIM THIS WOULD BE AWESOME
- Pretty good match actually, less one-sided than I was expecting...Chavo completely ruined it on the commentary though. I'd love it to lead to an awesome PPV match...and I still love that Aeon Flux
- Sin Cara pushes Chavo after the match for the interference...a feud is clearly brewing, I kinda wish they'd just get into it
- I completely forgot about the Corre
- DIVAS OH FUCK YES KONG IS GOING TO SMASH YOUR FUCKING SKULL INTO THE MAT
- COLE INTERRUPTING THE DIVAS KONG IS GOING TO DECAPITATE COLE AND PUNT HIS HEAD INTO THE CROWD FUCK YEAH
- LESS TALK MORE KONG
- "...crawl back into your glass house like a little puppy..." What does that even mean...Puppies don't live in glass houses, or crawl...what in the fuck is she talking about
- FUCK YES ITS FUCKING KONG TIME NOW MOTHERFUCKERS COLE YOU ARE DEAD
- WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING LAYLA COLE IS RIGHT THERE KILL HIM FOR FUCKS SAKE
- NOW ITS ON COLE YOUR PLASTIC BOX WONT SAVE YOU
- Cole survived...but he looks like he's about to start crying
- Wade Barrett v Kane...I'm sure Zeke'll batter the entire Corre at some point, probably team up with Show and Kane for a 6 man tag at the PPV or something
- Beatdowns are so fucking boing
- Zeke comes out, takes out the 2 little guys whose names I can't remember, Barrett fluffs a big boot, Zeke sells it anyway, gets up, batters them all again, gets battered, left lying in the middle of the ring...one of the most pointless run-ins I've ever seen
- The Khali kiss cam is back...fast forwarding
- Ted DiBiase...I'd completely forgotten about him
- CODY FUCKING RHODES WITH A MICROPHONE FUCK YEAH
- Standard Cody promo. So, fucking awesome, then
- "Let's go and 'make some more statements'" - What you three get up to in the locker room is your business, Wade
- Main event time
- Pretty decent match, Christian got battered for most of it but came away with the pin

Decent Smackdown, I was disappointed Cole escaped from Kong (I really ought to get used to calling her Kharma, but Kong sounds so much better), but apart from that and the kiss cam, good stuff all round.

Smackdown May 5th

After this week's RAW, I hope we get a decent Smackdown at least. Christian's the champ and Kong might show up, so how bad can it be?

LET'S DO THIS

- 'Push Zack Ryder' sign in the audience
- Sharks circling in the water already...Mark Henry coming out to interrupt Christian...you know that belt's not staying with him for long...
- Khali coming out too...this is starting to look like a very weird episode of Oz
- Did Khali just call Christian 'Kitchen'?
- Randy Orton...I think that's checkmate for Christian :/
- Teddy Long...he's so...fucking annoying...he pauses...every two...words. I wish...he'd just...talk normally.
- Teddy just called Christian 'Kristen'...nobody can say his fucking name
- Christian v Orton tonight :( I guess a one-week title reign is better than no title reign, right? Shame he didn't get to keep hold of it till the PPV though
- SHEAMUS v DANIEL BRYAN FUCK YEAH KILL HIM BRYAN
- I hope this match is revenge for Daniel Bryan, the last two matches they've had Sheamus dominated
- Sheamus dominating again...I hope this'll mean a miracle comeback
- Ridiculous missile dropkick from Daniel Bryan
- Sheamus countered a suicide dive with a big boot...it's all over :( Still, closest match yet...Bryan nearly had him with a submission...
- CODY FUCKING RHODES FUCK YEAH
- "I forced Rey Mysterio to expose himself"...let's just stick to talking about wrestling, eh?
- Standard Cody promo...but a standard Cody promo is fucking awesome so I'm not complaining
- Big Show v Ezekiel Jackson...first Zeke singles match I've seen...don't see him getting through Show though
- He not only beat him, but he actually looked pretty impressive doing it
- 7 minute replay of Rock's birthday on RAW...that was a lot of fast forwarding
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONG'S GONNA KILL YOU
- HERE COMES KONG YOU FUCKING DEAD NOW
- Sin Cara v Tyson Kidd...who the fuck is Tyson Kidd? His hair is fucking awful
- Oh I remember, he's one of the Hard Dynasty guys
- Sin Cara wins with the Aeon Flux...I fucking LOVE that move...He's quickly becoming one of my favourite guys in WWE, I love the luchadore style
- WWE promoting anti-bullying, after the way they treated that 'Skidmarks' guy on Tough Enough? They called him 'Skidmarks' from day one, they were constantly berating him for minor things, they prevented him from training because he stumbled stepping into the ring, and Booker assaulted him in front of all the other contestants...fucking hypocrites, for real
- Main event time...LETS GO CHRISTIAN (even though you're obviously going to lose)
- New champ :( I like Orton, but it sucks for Christian to lose the belt so soon. Really good match though.

Pretty cool Smackdown, way better than RAW

Worst Raw Ever!

I'm not going to say too much here, but I do have one question: which segment was worst on this show? Was it when the woman came out and sang? Was it when the guy came out and sang? Was it when that other woman came out and sang? Was it when Rock did the pledge of alegience? Was it the Morrison/Truth match? The ending of the Cena/Miz match? Was it the crap comedy that saw Khali in a tutu? Was it the soundbites of 'celebrities' - most of whom I had new idea who they were? Was it when Vince came out an stuck his nose so far up the Rock's ass that you could make out his face through his stomach?
Awful, awful show. I hope that Rock never dies, retires or ages another year again... I also hope that the US army never kill an old guy again... this show was horrible.

RAW, May 2nd 2011

Not too sure about tonight's RAW, it's a 'Rock's Birthday Special'...doesn't sound too interesting, but there's a decent chance Kong will kill another Diva so I'm watching anyway.

LETS DO THIS

- I'm already sick of hearing about Osama, he's only been dead two days...I don't want to hear about this shit on a wrestling show..FUCK OFF
- National Anthem? You are fucking kidding me
- Right, fast forwarded 5 minutes of shit I don't care about LETS START THE FUCKING SHOW
- Miz v Cena rematch...as if Miz has the remotest of fucking chances
- HERE COMES ROCKY
- Now Rock's going on about this shit...FFS, if I wanted to watch people going on and on about shit I don't care about I'd watch TNA
- God damn this is a boring promo from The Rock...I thought it'd be a lame-ass special episode, but I didn't realise it'd be this bad
- Rock just battered Cole...I thought it was the end of a terrible segment, but he's STILL FUCKING TALKING
- Oh my god, some bald cunt is singing a terrible, terrible pop song...I WANT TO SEE SOME FUCKING WRESTLING WHAT IS THIS SHIT
- Right, after a bit of fast forwarding it's Morrison v Truth...normally I'd be happy to see this match, but I'm still pissed off about the screwjob at the PPV...tempted to give up on RAW and just wait for Smackdown...but Kong'll probably be here at some point
- Looks like the match is getting called off because of a pre-match beating by Truth :/
- Divas...KONG TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
- Lol, one move into the match and Kong shows up...YOU ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE
- Cena v Miz...fast forwarding because I don't give a shit
- Cena retained what a fucking surprise
- JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE GOING ON ABOUT FUCKING OSAMA AGAIN
- Swagger & McIntryre v Rey Mysterio and Kofi

The stream's died so I can't watch the rest for now, given how bad the rest of it was I don't think I'll bother tbh.

Extreme Rules 2011

I really need to remember not to go on Reddit the day after wrestling...three matches spoiler'd :/ Still, should be a good show so

LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Punk v Orton? I would have thought that was way further up the card
- Nexus kicked out of ringside...this match ought to be fucking awesome
- That beard has to mean a heel turn for Orton
- "Revenge is the ultimate payback" - fantastic commentary, Booker
- "...on that hard steel floor; on that hard concrete..." Booker's on fire tonight
- Very cool match, Orton won with a top rope RKO...he seems to have won every single match in this feud :/
- Sheamus v Kofi in a tables match
- Pretty decent...nothing special considering it was a table match though
- Country Whipping match time...I still don't know what that means
- Cole coming out wrapped in bubble wrap
- Cole won with a roll-up...THE FEUD THAT REFUSED TO DIE
- Cody Rhodes is so fucking awesome...best gimmick in wrestling today
- Cody v Rey...this should be awesome
- The crowd seem pretty flat tonight
- Mysterio is doing the green mist now??
- Decent enough match...faces win every single match in the WWE though, better than constant screwjobs but still predictable as fuck
- Divas...I don't give a shit about the match, but I do know that Kong shows up and presumably wrecks everybody's shit so there's that to look forward to
- Layla does the Diamond Dust? Impressed.
- More 2-counts than Taker v HHH
- Pretty decent match, better than I was expecting
- FUCK YEAH AWESOME KONG YOU GONNA DIE BLONDIE
- Lays out McCool, cuts to the Divas watching on a monitor, all look like 'oh shit', fucking awesome...she could stop doing that stupid laugh and I wouldn't complain, though
- Ladder match time :D I know Christian wins, but I still want to watch the whole thing. Does that make it just him and Angle who have been both TNA and WWE champs? In terms of the main belt, at least? Obv the Dudleys were tag champs in both etc etc
- Biggest chant of the night so far, and it's for Christian :)
- Christian doing the Spear :) I fucking knew he'd do it
- Christian got busted open...didn't see it happen, looked like it may be from struggling during the cross arm breaker through the ladder
- Edge shows up in a jeep, Brodus Clay is bleeding like crazy, a huge pool of blood on the mat where he fell...looks like most of the blood on Christian might actually be from Clay...CHRISTIAN IS THE FUCKING CHAMPION FUCK YEAH
- Great match, easily match of the night so far
- Saying he won because of Edge is bollocks...he was seconds from winning when Clay got involved, so if there were no run-ins he would have won anyway...all Edge did was even the odds.
- Shit Miz promo is shit
- Lumberjack tag match? What is this shit...
- Who actually likes lumberjack matches, seriously? There's never been a good lumberjack match, ever
- Barrett and Jackson are an unbelievably dull tag team
- That was pretty shit, but thankfully also pretty short
- Lumberjacks are brawling...ffs
- Main event time
- Bad landing for Miz
- Morrison totally deserves to win this, he's miles better than the other two
- Fucked up landing on that monkey flip...Morrison was bouncing around like he was doing The Worm
- FFS Morrison could have won the match, but did a Starship Pain off the top of the cage instead...it was cool and all, but it looked so fucking stupid when he could have just won the thing
- YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME R TRUTH FUCK YOU YOU CUNT
- This is bullshit, it's like I'm watching TNA or something
- Cena wins...I'm glad they took the belt off the Miz, but I'm pissed off that Morrison got so close only to get screwed...if he'd just got battered and been nowhere close I wouldn't have minded, but to have him basically win the match and then get screwed is fucking stupid. I really hope Cena doesn't keep the belt for the next 11 months just for his one match with The Rock.

An okay PPV, Christian v Del Rio was the highlight followed by the Divas match...everything else ranged somewhere between decent and mediocre.

WWE - Extreme Rules - predictions

It's Extreme Rules time again... and we know that it won't live up to its name. Judging from the card the matches seem quite thin on the ground, so predictions shouldn't take too long:

John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison - WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match

This could be quite a good match. I hope Morrison wins, I hope Cena doesn't. Based on that I'm sure Miz will retain.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match)

Christian will win this one. I really can't see both titles going to Raw, but I've been wrong on stuff like this before.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk (Last Man Standing Match)

This will probably be the best match of the night, I can see Punk losing again and taking a long holiday afterwards.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

Not sure why they need a falls count anwhere match, but hey, why not? I'm thinking that Rhodes won at Mania, Mysterio won on Smackdown... Mysterio to win.

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole & Jack Swagger (Country Whipping Match)

Ah, a good ol' country whipping match... whatever that means. This will be shit, but Cole will probably win.

Layla vs. Michelle McCool (Loser Leaves WWE Match)

This seems to have come from nowhere, maybe it's because I don't really pay attention to Divas. Layla to win...

Smackdown April 29th 2011

Watching this with my girlfriend who doesn't watch wrestling, so this should either be the funniest or the most annoying Smackdown ever...we'll see.

LETS DO THIS

- Mark Henry v Rey...it'll be like watching a gorilla fight a stickman
- I still think Orton's stubble might mean a heel turn
- Drew McIntyre interrupting Randy Orton? It's like he wants his teeth pushed down his throat
- This promo is awesome...every time Orton tries to talk, someone comes to the ring to get battered...I'm cracking up
- Del Rio not making the rookie mistake of getting in the ring with him
- Only 3-on-one? This is Orton ffs
- Sheamus v Kofi
- Oh my god, JR really did a number on Michael Cole...his face looks awful
- I like Swagger's music
- Sin Cara v Swagger? They're actually giving him a real opponent? This is interesting
- This match is awesome
- Sin Cara won...despite the fact that one of Swagger's flailing legs hit the bottom rop while he was being pinned...cool match though
- More Kong teasers...JUST PUT HER ON THE FUCKING SHOW ALREADY
- Time for Corre's rematch...guessing they might actually get the belts what with Show going to Raw
- Nope, Show and Kane retain
- Khali on the screen...girlfriend goes 'What's that?'
- Rey v Mark Henry time...this is gonna be ridiculous
- Cool match...Henry was destroying Rey, but Rey has Luchador Invincibility and he didn't seem to give a shit...but then Cody came out to batter Rey and got the DQ
- Cody paper bagging people like he's the Beautiful People from 3 or 4 years ago
- Lay v Cool...
- Double count out in about 15 seconds
- Main event time
- Pretty standard tag match with no real surprises...but executed flawlessly.

Pretty decent Smackdown...Sin Cara and Swagger stole the show. No sign of Danielson :( Maybe after the PPV...

Zack Ryder - I'm a mark... woo woo woo!

There are few truly awesome wrestlers on the WWE roster: Danielson is up there, Morrison is getting there, Taker, Triple H, Alberto Del Rio... but none of these guys have entertained me nearly as much as Zack Ryder.

Judging by the way he is represented in WWE, we see him maybe once every couple of months doing some backstage skit, if we are lucky (only if we are lucky), we get to see him job to the likes of the Great Khali, it is easy to dismiss Ryder as a jobber, undercard at best... not so.

Check out his Youtube channel LongIslandIcedZ, it is brilliant. If the WWE are interested in entertainment, then, gosh darn it, this guy needs more exposure. Ask yourself this: what would I rather see: Randy Orton delivering a slow monotone promo about hurting someone, or watch Zack Ryder beat the Rock with his wrestling figures? (It's the second one, dummy).

The fact is that Zack Ryder is developing a strong fan base because he is making an effort to connect with the fans - much to the chagrin of the WWE it seems. He keeps in character, he's entertaining, he even keeps Kayfabe... but he's still on Superstars (a show which gets less viewers than his Youtube channel). There're a lot of wrestlers who use social media to destroy their images as performers (Matt Hardy and Hulk Hogan come to mind), but Ryder has taken the initiative and bolstered his gimmick.

I heard recently that at a recent taping of Raw in the UK, a fan had a 'Ryder = Ratings' sign confiscated by security. A guy gets over on his own, his shirts sell on wweshop.com almost immediately, but instead of capitalising on this unforseen success, WWE seem to have attitude of: 'we didn't put you over, so you are not over'. Maybe it harks back to the criticism of Danielson and Lo-Ki in that they are both seen as 'internet stars', meaning that if you have worked your ass off in the indies, wrestled in Japan and Mexico, you are somehow inferior to a model/bodybuilder who has spent six months in development in FCW.

I hope that Zack gets a bit of push, wins a few matches on Raw, gets a little bit more TV time, because he's certainly doing positive things for the company. I can see him in TNA in a bad tag team with Robbie E within six months though :( - don't let this happen WWE!

The Draft 2011 - let's take a look

In the first instance we have the main draft. This had some surprises and a TNA style swerve... probably to get Twitter going crazy. Here we go:

1. John Cena to Smackdown.
2. Rey Mysterio to Raw.
3. Randy Orton to Smackdown.
4. Mark Henry to Smackdown.
5. Sin Cara to Smackdown.
6. Big Show to Raw.
7. Alberto Del Rio to Raw.
8. John Cena drafted back to Raw.

John Cena on Smackdown would have been great... but wasn't to be. Switching Rey with Cara is a sensible move, a few smarks are giving Cara stick for 'botching' a few spots... not considering that no-one else on the roster could do what he does, fucking twats. Randy Orton as top babyface on SD could be good, Orton and Cena on the same show is always too much for me. Mark Henry will go job on Smackdown. Big Show on Raw? I find him boring, but the kids love him. Del Rio over to Raw is obvious, and great... this of course means that Christian will certainly win at Extreme Rules.

And the supplimental draft:


9th Pick

Smackdown chooses Daniel Bryan

I felt quite sad when I watched Raw and he wasn't switched. Smackdown has longer matches and hopefully this will give him chance to shine in the ring. DON'T DROP THE BALL WITH THIS ONE!

10th Pick

Raw chooses Jack Swagger

Swagger's been on Raw a lot recently, but I worry that he still can't cut a decent promo... he's decent enough in the ring, so who knows?

11TH Pick

Smackdown chooses

The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh to Smackdown

Draft Khali to Superstars damn it (yes I know it's cancelled).

12th Pick

Smackdown Chooses Jimmy Uso

I assumed he'd been future endevoured

13th Pick

Raw chooses Kelly Kelly

I'm surprised that shw was the only lady to switch brands... can't wait to see Kong squach her...

14th Pick

Raw chooses JTG

See Mark Henry above.

On the whole, a decent draft. Good mix-up with a few surprises. My predictions were pretty off. Let's hope that the draft gets some new interesting feuds going. Punk and Del Rio for a start... even if it means turning Punk face.

That Clown from Outta Town - WWE Draft 2011

Draft time. I don't think I've ever actually seen a draft before, so this should be interesting.

I actually saw a spoiler online by accident, so I know Cena and Orton are heading to Smackdown, but I stopped reading so I don't know the rest...not sure why they're sending two of their biggest stars to the 'b' show, but there we go.

LETS DO THIS

-Starting with a Battle Royale, my least favourite type of match...
- Daniel Bryan to win (yeah right)
- He was 5th from last to go to be fair
- Smackdown wins the first pick
- Cena...but I knew that already
- Cole v JR is the main event? I hope it's not the actual main event
- Here comes Truth
- 'Y'all gon stop with that What' 'WHAT'
- 'Y'all pissin me the hell off' Awesome promo, dude
- 'You know what?' 'WHAT'
- They keep letting him say 'pissed' but beeping the 'off'...makes no sense
- This promo is fucking weird...mainly because nobody is listening and just going 'WHAT' the whole time
- SARANARA ARIBADERCHY
- I wish Morrison had ambushed him 5 or 6 minutes earlier...that was terrible
- More Kong...can't wait
- Or Kharma as she now seems to be known
- Divas
- Cole interrupting the match on the mic...awesome
- Weird fucking brawl...the little brunette battering the big blonde, crying the whole time
- Rey's heading to RAW
- Lol, Zack Ryder...
- Rey's music is awesome. But, crap at the same time.
- Cody :D
- Cody's promos are awesome
- Kofi Kingston v Sheamus...interesting
- Woo Woo Woo sign in the audience...wonder if it'll get confiscated
- Kofi won...didn't see that coming
- Orton...so we're up to the point I already saw, the rest should be a proper surprise
- Cole v JR...Cole's probably going to win, but I'm sure it'll be a mess
- Best troll heel ever
- Cole just stomped on JR's hat...it's on now
- Looks like JR busted Cole's lip...didn't think they were allowed to bleed on WWE any more
- Flogging JR with his own belt...fucking hell
- Started as comedy, but it turned fucking nasty at the end
- The main event is gonna be a 'country whipping' match...what the fuck does that even mean
- Orton v Dolph...poor Dolph
- Actually...what the fuck kind of name is Dolph? Never occurred to me before, but what the fuck even is that
- Orton still with that Angle Slam
- Another pick for Smackdown
- Punk interrupting the draft pick
- Punk v Orton is gonna be a last man standing match :) No hail-mary RKOs, how can Orton possibly win?
- Orton's got stubble...I predict a heel turn once he gets to Smackdown
- Mark Henry and Sin Cara heading to Smackdown
- Wade Barrett v Rey Mysterio
- Rey wins, short match
- Big Show heading to RAW...but he's tag champ with Kane...
- Alberto Del Rio going to RAW also...more reason to believe Christian's gonna get that belt :D
- Teddy Long...I really don't like him on the mic
- Punk, Del Rio and Miz v Christian, Mark Henry and Cena...the entrances alone are gonna take about 10 mins
- Awesome Tornado DDT by Christian
- Mark Henry heel turns and takes out Cena
- And Christian
- Lol, Cena's been drafted back to RAW

Pretty cool RAW, it was basically all wrestling, (almost) no bullshit. The Cena thing was a waste of time, though.

I don't really see the draft picks as a big deal, if you watch both shows it doesn't really change anything significant...and half the time you get guys from one show appearing on the other anyway.