Socko Awards - 2010

With 2010 now behind us, we can look back and pick our favourite moments of the year. May I introduce to you, the Socko’s – wrestling’s most coveted awards ceremony. Unlike the Slammies, the Socko’s will include such obscure categories as Match of the Year and Promo of the Year. Let’s do this.

Breakout star:
Bryan Danielson, WWE.



Runner up:
Magnus, TNA.




Stinker of the year:
Team 3D versus Nasty Boyz. TNA: Against All Odds.



Runner up:
Madison Rayne versus Tara. TNA: Sacrifice.




Best commentary:
CM Punk, WWE.



Runner up:
Jim Ross, WWE.




Move of the Year:
Douglas Williams – Chaos Theory



Runner up:
Candice LeRae – BALLPLEX!


Promo of the year:
Jay Lethal and Ric Flair, TNA Impact.



Runner up:
CM Punk during WWE Royal Rumble match.


Worst Promo:

Michael McGillicutty, NXT. "This will be the moment..."



Runner up:
Eli Cottonwood, NXT. "Moustache..."






Most overrated wrestler:
Jeff Hardy, TNA.

Runner up:
Randy Orton, WWE.


Most Underrated wrestler:
Robert Roode, TNA.

Runner up:
Kaval, WWE.


Best Heel:
CM Punk, WWE.



Runner up:
Jeff Jarrett, TNA.


Best Babyface:
Kurt Angle, TNA



Runner up:
Rey Mysterio, WWE.


Rivalry of the Year:
Motor City Machine Guns versus Beer Money, TNA



Runner up:
El Generico versus Kevin Steen, ROH.


Worst rivalry:
Immortals versus Dixie Carter



Runner up:
Kane versus Edge.




Worst Angle:
“They”, TNA.



Runner up:
Cena being “fired”, WWE.


Pay-per-view of the year:
Kurt Russell Mania, PWG

Runner up:
Royal Rumble, WWE.


Hottest lady
Becky Bayless





Runner up:
Christy Hemme






Women’s match
Daizee Haze versus Jamilia Craft. ROH (July).



Runner up:
Tara versus Mickey James (Steel Cage match). TNA Impact (Dec)




Best Stable
Foutune, TNA

Runner up:
Straight Edge Society, WWE


Worst Stable
The Embassy, ROH

Runner up:
Legacy, WWE.


Best Tag Team
Motor City Machine Guns

Runner up:
Beer Money


Worst Tag Team:
Matt Morgan, TNA

Runner up:
John Cena and David Otunga


Moment of the year:
Nexus debut, WWE.



Runner up:
Hulk Hogan gets his hall of fame ring shoved down his throat.


Retarded moment of the year:
Jeff Hardy turning heel

Runner up:
Edge killing Paul Bearer


Worst gimmick
Abyssamania

Runner up:
LayCool


Match of the year:
Undertaker versus Shawn Michaels (Career versus Streak). WWE Wrestlemania 26.



Runner up:
Beer Money versus Motor City Machine Guns (best 2/3 falls). TNA Impact (August)

Other notable mentions:
Douglas Williams versus AJ Styles (Iron Man match) – TNA Impact (December)
Tyler Black versus Roderick Strong. ROH Supercard of Honor.
Kurt Angle versus AJ Styles – TNA Impact (January).
Danielson versus Dolph Ziggler – WWE Bragging Rights.
Douglas Williams versus Kazarian – TNA Destination X.
Brian Kendrick and Paul London versus the Young Bucks. PWG Kurt Russell Mania.
Bryan Danielson versus Low-Ki. FCW.
El Generico versus Roderick Stong - ROH Pick Your Poison.
Daizee Haze versus Hamada – Shimmer 30
Kurt Angle versus Mr Anderson (cage match) – TNA


Worst Wrestler of the year:
Rob Terry, TNA.



Runner up:
Drew McIntyre, WWE.


Wrestler of the Year:
Douglas Williams

Jeff and Matt Hardy shoot on CM Punk - An analysis

I came across this video on YouTube and decided to share it and add a bit of analysis. The video show Jeff and Matt Hardy shouting off about CM Punk. They both appear to be off their mash on ecstasy pipes... let’s take a look:



JH: What’s straight edge mean again? The first straight edge world heavyweight champion. I think Christian said it best... erm... CM Punk, I think you’re a nerd.

Ooh, big scary Jeff Hardy calling Punk a nerd! This is like when Michael Cole calls Danielson a nerd, it just comes across as really kiddie. I wonder if CM Punk is crying huge tears into his glass of Pepsi Raw? Crying until his tear-ducts burn because a drug-wreck called him a nerd... Crying like a child who’s been left in a supermarket... you can play by the escalators all you want kid, but your mum’s never coming back...

JH: I get cocky every now and then, say you pay to see me, you pay to see me, but... I made CM Punk a motherfucking superstar... and that’s a fact, Jack... and I went in like this {raises middle finger]... baaaaannng!

At this point Hardy has laid it all on the line, he made Punk into a superstar, a superstar who seems to have gained his fame from copulating with his mother. Hardy then makes reference to that time when he “went in like this” and all the sycophants that surround the Hardy’s went “ooooh” like they were eleven and someone said a swear near a teacher... “oooh... you’re naughty.” On a serious note, I’m not how one would go in like that, but it seems pretty creepy to me. “Baannng!”

JH: You can’t do that shit in your company anymore, but in this world [makes a triangle with hands], you can do it all we want to. You should follow me, you should listen to my preaching because it’s gonna get you through life; it’ll make you live life the right way.

From this, it would seem that Jeff Hardy believes that triangles are banned from the WWE. The reasons for this are not explained by Hardy, but one must assume that WWE fear lawsuits for the use of triangles (though they do have the rights to use the logically impossible square-circle). I think what Hardy is saying here is that if you follow Hardy, you will transcend geometry.

JH: Your way’s not the right way, brother. That’s what’s cool about planet Earth; we’re all different. If we were all like you, man, I would rather live on Pluto.

If we were all like CM Punk, then Jeff Hardy would rather live on a fictional cartoon dog? Now, I don’t want to come across as preachy, but if you’d rather live on a cartoon dog than in a world without drugs, then maybe it’s time to consider going straight. I’m not preaching, it’s just a suggestion.

JH: You [points to the cameraman], my friend, are way too cocky; inside and outside of the ring.

At this point I would like to know who is behind the camera? And why is the cameraman so cock inside the ring as well as outside? These questions are never answered.

JH: It’s kinda strange when you go up and see your homeboys at a show... you got guys like Undertaker coming up and saying “hey Jeff, how’re you doin’, man?” all these other guys going “hey Jeff, how’s it going for you, man, you alright?” [incomprehensible] CM never even say hello to me, never did, walk away [mumbles] I just leave [mumbles] fuck that guy.

Wow, Jeff Hardy is pissed off because someone who doesn’t like him at his old work place didn’t go over to him and pretend to like him. How insecure is this guy? I’ve worked at places and have hated people, that’s part of working in a place with other people in. He then descends into the mumbling grumpiness of an old wino, no doubt reaching down to can of Special Brew for a dirty swig once the camera cuts.

JH: I just have one message for CM Punk [raises both middle fingers], fuck you.

The way Hardy delivers his swears here reminds me of someone who has just learnt a naughty word and feels assured with himself that by its mere utterance, the recipient of said swear will not be able to fathom, nigh, comprehend a word of such power and magnitude.

JH: I made you the straight edge superstar that you are, and I still don’t believe that because I think you take Ambien to go to sleep motherfucker [laughs], that’s a prescription if you didn’t know it, so hey-woah.

So hey-woah, Mr Punk, you’ve been hey-woahed, baby. Whatcha gonna do now? I feel sorry for Punk: he’s been accused of having sex with his mother, of being banned from triangles, of making Jeff want to live on a cartoon dog, of taking prescription drugs; he’s been told to fuck him, and now, with the final nail, the final barb of poison, he’s been hey-woahed... Jeff, you’ve crossed a line.

We then cut to Mr Sleepy, AKA Fat “Matt” Hardy, who somehow manages to piece together these words of wisdom in the same way a retarded kid would piece together the entrails of dead bird, believing them to be a jigsaw puzzle.

MH: I have no idea what CM Punk’s deal is with Amy Dumas.

It’s pronounced dumb ass, dumb ass.

MH: But I do know [falls asleep......wakes up] he’s a very dramatic and very emotional. Anytime she finds herself in a tough spot, I’m the guy she calls.

... and this is why CM Punk is better than you.

Socko's week in wrestling

As the blog seems to have gone a bit by the wayside recently, I’ve decided to summarise the weeks highlights in my own wrestling experience.

TNA Turning Point.

I thought that this was a very strong PPV which seemed to dip in quality near the end. I really enjoyed the Guns/Dudleys match. The Lethal Robbie match was pretty dull, there was some good spots, but Robbie E’s style is very WWE. Tara versus Mickie James was pretty decent for a Knockouts match, and really showed how much better the style of women’s wrestling is in TNA compared to WWE. The RVD/Dreamer match was an absolute car-wreck and should have been stopped after Dreamer’s wrist was clearly dislocated. Dreamer has this old-school mentality that the show must go on, and ended up doing some crazy shit (like a jumping piledriver and getting crotched with a ladder) with his hand half hanging off. It was nasty to watch. The Fourtune/EV2 had some pretty good moments, but wasn’t a great match, Raven looked an absolute mess and did nothing for the whole match. Sabu ended up getting pinned and then fired as a result. Flair gave a classic Flair promo to Sabu about him hating the Sheik, really funny. The Abyss/Pope match was pointless and dull. The Hardy/Morgan match showed that Morgan is mid-card at best and really can’t perform at the top level. That should have been Joe or Angle in the ring, not Morgan.
As expected the Immortals swept the board at this one, and I’m pretty sure that all of their matches had at least some NWO-style shenanigans.

The Shore.

Though I’m still not convinced by Robbie E’s in-ring ability, The Shore’s gimmick is pretty strong. In a week when TNA had a guest appearance from someone from one of the hottest (albeit shittest) shows in America, WWE had Peewee Herman (wonder if he had a wank in the audience of this one?). As a gimmick, the casting is great, both Becky Bayliss and Robbie E are convincing as annoying Jersey Shore types, and the mini-feud between Cookie and J-Wow from the Jersey Shore show only served to cement that. Though they are annoying, at least TNA are trying to be relevant to a modern audience.

Impact

If you can get past the first half hour of Bischoff et al talking themselves up, this wasn’t a bad Impact. A lot of the matches were screw-job matches or handicap matches which favoured Fourtune (Joe versus Gunner and Murphy had a run-in by Jeff Jarrett.) Stevie Richard versus AJ was surprisingly good, the others matches weren’t bad, they just stunk of NWO.
Putting Jeff Hardy over as a heel is clearly not working, but at least he came out wearing a suit this week (that’s how you know he’s a bad guy).

WWE Raw

I only watch Raw now, I can’t be bothered with Smackdown, and I certainly can’t be bothered with NXT or Superstars. I was in the audience for the last Raw (filmed in Manchester) and my experience of it is a little mixed. It was fun to be there, bu when there were commercials breaks, the matches would literally stop as the wrestlers stood and waited for the programme to air again.
WWE aren’t making anywhere near as much money as they used to and Linda McMahon didn’t win her election, so shouldn’t WWE take stock and sort their shit out? The PG thing clearly isn’t meeting the financial projections and come next Wrestlemania, what is going to be WWE’s draw for the event? Taker is hurting and is in and out of surgery every few months, Shaun Michaels has retired... what are we going to have? Wade Barrett versus Cena?

UFC 121 – Lesnar versus Velasques

I’ve never been arsed about MMA, but I ended up watching the last UFC this week with a mate. One the whole, the fights were pretty dull, but the main event with Lesnar was stunning. Both the fighters were relentless and Lesnar got beat by TKO. I’m still not convinced by UFC, but I really did enjoy that last match.

WCW Nitro – October/November 1996

It’s amazing how quick I can get through an episode of Nitro when I fast forward past the crap. I only watch the Cruiserweight matches and have been intrigued by the NWO stuff. I’ve read all about the NWO stuff before, but thought I needed to watch it for myself, and I have to say that the way it has built up was very well-executed, and I’m sure that, for a while at least, the angle was believable. I’m at the point now where Bischoff has just joined the NWO, and a main event has been signed for Hogan versus Piper. WCW’s main events were shit. Hogan/Macho Man/Lex Luger/The Giant... but the undercard was excellent and I don’t think it has been equalled. The Cruiserweight division had a real international feel to it, and some of the matches were fantastic. Dean Malenko/Ultimo Dragon/Psychosis/Rey Mysterio/Jushin Liger/Chris Jericho/Juventud Guerrera/Eddie Guerrero are just some of the regulars and there is nothing like it today.

Worst Characters Ever!: Loch Ness

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been watching WCW Nitro, I'm into early-96 and the Cruiserweight division is starting to take shape with the introduction of a dedicated title.

Anyway, the character I want to talk about today is Loch Ness, older fans may recognise him as Giant Haystacks; but this isn't about the man, it is about the gimmick.

As part of the Dungeon of Doom stable (which contained other members such as The Giant, Zodiac, the Yeti, the aforementioned Kamala, and Kevin Sullivan), Loch Ness dominated most of his matches. He stood in the ring, turning slowly and not selling moves until he could either fall on his opponent or drop the elbow. Now I say elbow, it was more like getting a face full of back fat, if you've ever seen a stunt man jump off a building onto one of those massive inflatable pillow things, that's the kind of effect I mean.

So Loch Ness's in-ring skills makes Rob Terroid look like Chris Jericho, his promos were conducted by Mullet of the South Jimmy Hart, when he did speak his accent was clearly English, and his character was English and name after a lake.

I know what you're thinking: what about the Loch Ness Monster? I hate to be pedantic but the lake and the monster are not the same thing. It's like Frankenstein and his monster, they are two different things. This being put aside, even if the name of the monster is Loch Ness, he's certainly not English. For our American readers who aren't the best a geography, Scotland is not part of England - they are separate countries which fall under the rule of the United Kingdom (the clue's in the name).

Logic aside, Loch Ness left WCW quite abruptly due to illness, he then died of fat.

Worst Characters Ever!: Disco Inferno

“He’s so cocky, he’s so cool, he’s just a disco dancing fool”

I’ve not mentioned it until now, but to mark the 15th anniversary of the start of WCW Nitro earlier this month, I decided to watch it from the beginning (I'm up to Januaey 1996). I’ve read a few books on WCW, and some wrestling biographies, so had a sense of all the backstage bullshit, but I realised that I hadn’t watched it until it had gone past saving.

I’ve been watching it with an open mind and, comparing it with Raw in ’95, WCW were actually putting out a half-decent show. The main-events were mostly bullshit, with the belt being passed every other episode between Hogan, Flair, Savage and Luger, but some of the mid-card stuff was genuinely excellent. With stars like Sabu, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Jushin Liger, Dean Malenko, Psychosis, Alex Wright, Konan and (the very underrated) Johnny B. Badd, appearing most weeks and putting on some stellar matches, it is actually worth watching. This is WCW pre-nWo, pre-Outsiders, pre-Bischoff as character; the show had momentum and energy and the formula can still be seen today in the better episodes of Impact. The commentary was pretty dire. Bobby Heenan made for an obvious heel colour commentator, Bischoff was the play-by-play guy and Steve “Mongo” McMichael also as a colour commentator. Steve McMichael is plain awful; during every show he sits with some ugly dog called Pepe and bickers with Bobby the Brain. In a match between Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, Eddie hits a Tornado DDT, Mongo comes out with the line: “Wow that move has never been done on this planet and if you think you've seen it before you have more rocks in your head than Heenan.” Hmm...

Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. WCW also had some terrible characters, and the one I want to share with you today is Disco Inferno. Disco Inferno is basically a wrestler based on John Travolta’s character in Saturday Night Fever, well, kind of. Mr Inferno would come to the ring dressed in disco garb, and do a weird wiggly dance whist pointing his hands and the most lacklustre way imaginable. Was he meant to be shit? Was that his gimmick? I would have loved to have been at the meeting when someone came up with this character. “How about a wrestler who’s a disco dancer?”, “I love it, let’s put him on TV”. Take a look at the clips and try and understand how the hell this guy lasted for 6 years in WCW, and won a few titles? The mind boggles, it really does.

Greatest matches ever!: WWE Kurt Angle and Chris Benoi versus Edge and Rey Mysterio

No Mercy, 2002, had some pretty impressive matches. There was Brock Lesnar versus Undertaker in Hell in a Cell, and the match I want to share with you today for the, then new, WWE Tag Team Championship.

If this match proves anything, it is not only that all of these guys are tremendous talents, but also that Benoit's wrestling career is something that should be celebrated rather than brushed under the carpet because of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding his death.

Anyways, enjoy!





It's weird to hear Taz not talking about "yam bags" at every opportunity.

Promo of the week: "the quintessential stud muffin..."

I don't care what all the smark critics say, I really enjoyed TNA Hardcore Justice. This week's promo of the week award goes to Joel Gertner for his hilarious promo at the aforementioned PPV.

The video's not on YouTube, so I've uploaded it exclusively on here. Enjoy!

Review: TNA Xplosion 4th August

I’ve enjoyed TNA Xplosion over the past few weeks; there have been some pretty decent matches. Over the past few weeks we’ve seen the return of Homicide, Suicide (who has lost about 60 pounds and shrunk a few inches since he was last on Impact) and Amazing Red (back in his old ring-gear, I might add). There’s also been some matches with Generation Me and the new tag team of Wolfe and Magnus.

In the latest episode we have the first two matches for the tag-team title number one contendership. First, we have a promo with Hernandez and Rob Terroid who have been pushed together as some kind of powerhouse tag team. What I found a little odd is that Herndandez was illustrating his tag team credentials by going on about LAX, and what great chemistry they had (why the fuck are TNA not putting them back together?) In his way, Hernandez cuts a pretty decent promo, but when the mic was passed to Terroid and you had his Welsh drawl saying he would give Magnus and Wolfe the beating of their lives, you realise how green Big Rob is.

Next up we had Socko’s own promo of the week with Magnus, Wolfe and his white slave Chelsea (I wish they’d either do something with the storyline or just get rid of her.) This was pretty amusing promo and you can watch it in my previous post. My favourite part of the promo has to be Chelsea acting like she’s uncomfortable: she looks like she’s trying not to fart.

With promo number two over, we cut to another promo, this time with Ink Inc., the tag team named after countless tattoo shops throughout the world. People at TNA should do a little bit of work on licensing, idiots. Anyway, if anyone is interested in what a contradiction is , then this is the promo to watch. Shannon Moore talks about how they both think outside of the box and are individuals and unique, whist both members simultaneously adopt all the signifiers of ‘rebellion’: the Mohawk (that haircut that’s been the individual’s choice of haircut for the past 30 years, very outside of the box), tattoos and leather jackets. I bet they ride around on motorcycles and listen to rock music as well. The rebellious sods. And then, if you weren’t promo’d out enough. Gen Me give a pretty poor promo about taking out Ink Inc. Yawn.

After almost ten minutes, the first match begins. Herndandoid versus the Wankers (at least that’s what I think they should be called). On announcing Rob Terry, we hear SoCal Val botching her lines, almost announcing him as the Global Champion, haha! The match started off pretty slow with Terroid doing a few power moves on Wolfe. Wolfe is made to look like a complete tit, as he’s trying arm-based submissions with Terroid not even flinching. With Hernandez and Magnus being tagged in, the pace picks up a bit, but only a bit. The match went on like this and the Wankers won using the traditional heel cheat ending.

Next up was Ink Inc. versus Gen Me. This was pretty much as I expected it to be some very fluid moves, some innovations by Gen Me, some great double team and aerial moves. Jesse Neal is really starting to get into the groove, I never used to rate him, but tagging with Moore he’s starting to show some potential. Ink Inc. got the pin with the Boregasm. A pretty good match in all.

So next week is the finals, I predict Ink Inc. will get the number one contendership, but we shall see. Would actually be nice to Magnus and Wolfe win some matches and actually do something on Impact.

Promo of the week: "London Calling, wankers..."

It's been a bit quiet on here of late, you can blame summer and real-life bullshit for that. I should have my Hardcore Justice review up in the next day or so, so keep with us. For now, I'm adding a new feature to Socko's Review: Promo of the Week. It's open to all our writers, you basically choose your favourite promo of the week and share it.

In the first, we have Wolfe and Magnus speaking on Xplosion. This could be a great way for Wolfe to get some momentum back in TNA. This promo is pretty stupid, but entertaining nonetheless.



Enjoy!

Review: ROH, 7th July 2010

This week’s Ring of Honor started out with a pretty poor, non-title match between the Dark City Fight Club and the Kings of Wrestling. The Kings of Wrestling have been in some great matches, but this was not one of them.

The Dark City Fight Club are what you would get if Mark Henry tagged with his spastic brother. The timings were way off, they sold injuries worse than Hogan, and, well, they just sucked anus.

The match went nowhere, the KoW did some of their usual spots and then the Briscoes turned up in revenge for insulting their daddy at the last PPV.


This is where it went a bit stupid. With the Briscoes set for revenge, ROH security and most of the locker room came out to stop them. The KoW made a quick escape and the Briscoes went at it with security.

This was a shit end to a shit match. I wouldn’t even give it one star. It was probably because the match was so bad that the Briscoes got the biggest pop of the night.

Next up was a women’s match between Daizee Haze verus Jamilia Craft. This really surprised me as to just how good it was, and might actually be one of the best women’s wrestling matches I think I’ve seen. A lot of really strong technical wrestling and completely wipes the floor with WWE at the moment: men and women. Also this match shows what the Knockout division could be capable of if TNA gave it a bit more time and got in some better wrestlers. You know it’s a bad state of affairs when the penile reactions of teenage boys have a direct effect upon the women we tend to see in the ring.

TNA/WWE management: “Well there’s a choice between this really good technical wrestler who is just amazing in the ring, or there’s this bleach-blonde stick with bolt-on tits who will make even the most basic of moves look shit...”

Teenage boy: “Tits.”

Grotty little bastards.

Anyway, the match was won by Daizee Haze with a German Suplex to pin. I’d give this match four and a half stars, and could probably be the best women’s match we’ll see for a good while.

Next up was an interview segment with Christopher Daniels. With him being pushed down the card and eventually let go by TNA, it’s easy to forget what a great promo this guy can give when he’s on form. This also goes for Davari, who was also in TNA. He hasn’t dropped the ‘hard-done-by-victim-of-racism’ type of thing he’s been doing since his WWE days, but still, he’s great on the mic.

Next up was the main event: The American Wolves versus Roderick Strong and Christopher Daniels. This was another fantastic match, probably one of the best tag matches I’ve seen in a while. These guys aren’t a bunch of spot monkeys like you get with the WWE, but have a real ring presence and excellent ring psychology. Each move seemed to have a purpose and didn’t seem to be done for the sake of doing a move that looks cool but doesn’t really fit in with the match. For such a good match, the crowd didn’t seem to be into as much as I would have expected, but what do I know, I just know what I like and what I don’t.

This match was 20 minutes long, this wasn’t a PPV or a championship match, it was just a good-length match that felt right and worked so much better than the four minutes of wrestling-lite you get with the WWE. The match was given time to evolve and develop and it really showed.

For the last minute of the match I was on the edge of my seat. Daniels tried to get the BME and Davey Richard ran up and hit Daniels with a German superplex from the top rope for a quick pin. I’d give this match four stars.

On the whole, this wasn’t a bad episode, the first match was awful, but the last two matches saved it. With no build up or hype, it’s fair to say that women’s match stole the show.

I have to say that I really like the way ROH structures its shows. They are heavy on the wrestling and there is hardly any in-ring rambling for 15 minutes. The matches are a decent length and are punctuated by old-style promos and vignettes. This gives opportunity to develop a storyline, but doesn’t turn a wrestling show into a talk show.

Greatest Promos Ever!: "The numbers don't lie..."

Well, the Sock is back again after more time away, hopefully I won’t need to do that again.

Scott Steiner’s promos in TNA were some of the strangest I think I’ve ever seen. The guy’s grasp of the English language is just beautiful.



This has made me realise that I miss Scott Steiner and I miss Petey Williams in TNA.

Greatest Promos Ever! "Oldest ride, longest line..."

This has to be the funniest promo in TNA history, I nearly wet my pants I was laughing so much. Nature Boy Jay Lethal and Flair in a war of words, it doesn't come any better than this!

Watch it once, then play it back with your eyes closed, the impression really is quite uncanny.





Fortune is a shite name for a stable though...

Greatest Moves Ever! Kevin Steen: Package Piledriver

We all know that piledrivers are nasty; hell, Stone Cold and Chyna both had their careers cut short because of them. When it comes to the nastiest looking piledriver of them all, it has to be Kevin Steen's Package Piledriver. Not sure whether this counts as one of the greatest moves, but it's certainly one of the most brutal.



Sick stuff

Greatest Moves Ever! Douglas Williams: Chaos Theory

There have been some pretty good suplexes as finishers over the years, Mr. Perfect's Perfect plex is one of them for instance. However, the best suplex I have seen for a long time belongs to Douglas Williams - The Chaos Theory. This is a rolling German Suplex which just looks better every time I see it!

Greatest Moves Ever! Jack Evans: Moonsault DDT

Back in the Eighties, Moonsaults and DDTs were seen as pretty intense moves, now they are ten-a-penny. This being said, check out Jack Evan's Moonsault DDT, this move is awesome.

Greatest Moves Ever! Petey Williams: The Canadian Destroyer

I've been thinking about those moves in wrestling which just make you gasp and say a swear. And fuck me, this is one of them. Petey Williams' Canadian Destroyer was probably the first move that came to mind when I thought about this set of features. Would love to see what some of the other writers make of this and some of their own favourites (hint hint) and maybe compile a greatest wrestling moves ever list... anyway, here it is.



As you can see, it is a kind of fucked up flip into a pile-driver. It's the type of move that if done wrong could probably kill someone. Especially if said move was done, say, through a ladder...



Now repeat after me: 'Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!'

Greatest Matches Ever!: AJ Styles vs. Abyss, TNA Lockdown, April 2005

I've made no secret of the fact that I think that Abyss is a waddling fat fuck who doesn't deserve to be given the push that he is at the moment. But, there was a time when Abyss was in shape and put on a decent match. The match I want to share with you today is a great cage match with one of the most brutal ref bumps I think I've ever seen. It just goes to show how bad Abyss is today. Maybe its because he's a face, or maybe because he's now 'in excess' of 350 pounds, who knows?
Anyway, enjoy:




I miss 6 sides of steel :(

NXT: The end of Daniel Bryan

Not that anyone has been watching, but Daniel Bryan has been voted off of NXT.



Classic Danielson. I hope that WWE put him on Smackdown and build him up to take a few belts, then in a year or two move him across to Raw. If he goes to Raw now, he'll be lost in the mix. Danielson is the perfect candidate for a Smackdown push.

The American Dragon returns? Lets hope so!

Review: WWE Smackdown, 14th May

This week’s Smackdown opened with a title match for the Intercontinental Championship. If evidence were ever needed that this was a mid-belt and a mid-card show, the fact that a title shot was the first match only seems to support this. The match wasn’t bad, the momentum kept slipping, but by the end of the match it was starting to look up. With some pretty mediocre high-flying cross-body moves from both guys, the match ended with a win by pin-fall, with Kofi Kingston winning. I think the thing that surprised me the most about this match was the fact that it actually lasted for 10 minutes. I can’t remember the last time I watched an episode of Smackdown where the first fifteen minutes of the show weren’t taken up by some half-arsed in-ring promo. This is good, it’s like watching wrestling again!

In a shocking, sorry, predictable turn of events, Kingston’s celebration was cut short. Who should arrive at the ring but the ‘fired’ Drew McIntyre? I know that the McIntyre getting fire is just an angle, but why did the WWE play his entrance music? This might sound obvious, but surely if you want to give the impression that someone really has been fired and has turned up to the ring unannounced, it would make sense for the sound guys not to have the fired star’s entrance theme cued. Anyway, judging by the way McIntyre was dress, a more suitable entrance theme would have been Saturday Night Fever by the Bee Gees; a medallion and some chest hair would have finished the look beautifully.

We all know that one of the most dramatic things to watch on screen is someone standing there reading something that we are not privy to, right? McIntyre handed Teddy Long a note, which I assumed was a note from McIntyre’s mother excusing him from wrestling because he is going to a disco-themed murder mystery for his her birthday. And, alas! Kofi is stripped of his title. Hahahaha! Now this is wrestling! Like a bad boy who’s had his bottom smacked, Long hands the title back to McIntyre. Hahahaha! With chants of ‘you suck’ and more boos than outside of a paedophile’s trial, Drew left with his title (the title he won and didn’t lose, boooooo – the fans on Smackdown are ‘children and ideots’). I must be a master of predicting the complexities of the Smackdown story arcs, as last week I said: “Of course, there is not a possible chance in the world that Vince McMahonn will come out next week and overturn T-Lo's ruling, is there?” I am a genius.



Next we have a small promo of World Heavyweight Champion of the world, the All-American American American, Jack Swagger overseeing some guys unloading a truck... this is wrestling.

Next up was a match between Shad Gaspard, a guy with possibly the worst name in wrestling, against Jesse Guyver. As a teenager I used to be a big fan of the anime cartoon The Guyver and was hoping that the jobber would suddenly ‘bio-boost’ and become super-powerful because of some alien bio-armour... but as the guy was already in the ring and didn’t get an entrance theme, the word jobber came to mind and my desire for some manga style battle soon came crashing back down to reality. This was basically a squash match to make Shad look dominant – it was over quite quickly and there were no surprises.

Next up we had a match which saw MVP and JTG combine their initials in a tag match against a tag team with one of the worst names in WWE history: The Dude Busters. There might be a chance that WWE is starting to push its tag team division again, let’s see how this pans out. This was actually a pretty decent match, but the result was pretty obvious (MVPJTG won).

After a short promo with Punk forgiving Gallows and Sarina for having their minds poisoned by Mysterio, the show cuts to show a bunch of trophies being set up by the ring. You know what’s coming, right? Jack Bragger... Dull, dull, dull. I can’t wait for Big Show to win the title so we don’t have to listen to this bullshit, week in, week out. Who should come in and interrupt Swagger’s little monologue? Why, of course, it’s the Big Show and he’s breaking stuff.

After some Divas stuff, Kane comes out. I was bored of Kane over a decade ago and he’s still boring. Joining him in the ring was Chavvo Guerrero. In Kane’s usual fashion, we won by utilising the Undertaker’s move-set. Dull, dull, dull.

In the main event we see Punk go against Mysterio, again. The match was run of the mill and ended with a run-in by the Straight Edge Society – including that mysterious hooded member. Over the Limit looks to be a pretty dull PPV. Punk really needs to get some more interesting angles.

Greatest Matches Ever! TNA: Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle (Genesis, 2006)

To my reckoning, there have been five notable matches between Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle; this one was the first, and in my opinion the best. The match had it all: great drama, great build-up, great moves. Coming into the match the result wasn't obvious. On Impact a few weeks before, Angle had just made his TNA debut and went straight for Joe. At that point Joe had been undefeated for 18 months; he was the top guy and Angle went for him. The energy going into this match is insane and Joe and Angle put on one of the greatest matches of their careers.

New wrestlers could learn a lot from this. How to structure a match, how to sell, how to be a face - it's all here. This is fucking awesome:



It's about time Joe and Angle get back into the ring together and TNA stop pissing about.