WWE Extreme Rules: Predictions

It’s time for my WWE Extreme Rules predictions:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)

I’m not sure what makes an Extreme Rules match any different from a no-DQ match, and as no one on TV has explained what exactly an Extreme Rules match entails, I’m pretty sure that most casual fans will have no idea what this means.

There is only one way that this match can go, and that is with a convincing win for Brock Lesnar. Of course, they could give the win to Cena, but this would be incredibly short-sighted. Based on WWE’s track-record over the last few years however, this is a distinct possibility.

I am working on the theory that Cena is going to be on a losing streak in order for his character to become more serious while still remaining a babyface. Though everything is currently pointing to a double turn by Cena and Brock, I just can’t see this happening. I can see another big match that Cena will lose, perhaps against another outsider like Batista or JBL (though I can’t see the latter returning any time soon).

Brock to win.


World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)
This is a very difficult one to call because I’m sure that the audience’s reaction to Bryan since Mania has damaged the push of Sheamus. Are WWE going to run with it in the way that they did Jeff Hardy, or are they going to be in the mindset of letting the audience know how wrong they are, as they did with Ryder?

I find it amusing that WWE went for the record-breaking win with these two (a move which would have added more to the Cody/Big Show feud), only for it to backfire. I’m sure that the writers thought that it would be the perfect way to elevate Sheamus – it didn’t work and the fans turned. I know that personally I was pretty pissed off. Last year I’d paid for the match, only for it to be demoted to the dark match, only to be screwed again. To say I felt a little ripped off is an understatement.

I’m hoping that we’ll get a long, 4 star plus match out of this one. I hope they don’t do two quick pins with Sheamus retaining. Although I can’t see it happening, Bryan was a great champion and I’d love to see him get another run. Of course, this is WWE in 2012, so Sheamus is clearly going to win.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)
The premise of the whole feud has been lame. I’m not interested in the feud at all, even though the match has the potential to be pretty decent.

If I’ve learnt one thing about sports through this feud, if you want to get a shot at a championship, the best thing to do is to lose clean at the biggest show of the year and then pour alcohol on your opponent. Junior Dos Santos should take heed, if someone pours Bourbon on you, that title shot is as good as signed.
Jericho to win.

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)
Poor Randy Orton. Has Kane ever been in a decent feud? Think about it... he hasn’t, has he? Match should be okay, Orton should be feuding with Bryan at the moment (not Jinder Mahal as they are hinting).
Orton to win.


Intercontinental Champion Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Based on the booking, logic would say that Cody has no chance of winning. This is WWE in 2012, so based on his losing streak, Cody will win.

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. The Miz
Poor Miz. The burial continues. Even if he wins, who gives a shit about the US title?
Miz to win.

Divas Champion Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix
The match made on Twitter. Nikki will retain.

Final thoughts
This has the potential for three decent matches. I really want to see Danielson regain the title, after a gruelling back-and-forth match that elevates both guys. I wish Kane would just retire.

Extreme Rules 2011

I really need to remember not to go on Reddit the day after wrestling...three matches spoiler'd :/ Still, should be a good show so

LETS DO THIS

- Starting with Punk v Orton? I would have thought that was way further up the card
- Nexus kicked out of ringside...this match ought to be fucking awesome
- That beard has to mean a heel turn for Orton
- "Revenge is the ultimate payback" - fantastic commentary, Booker
- "...on that hard steel floor; on that hard concrete..." Booker's on fire tonight
- Very cool match, Orton won with a top rope RKO...he seems to have won every single match in this feud :/
- Sheamus v Kofi in a tables match
- Pretty decent...nothing special considering it was a table match though
- Country Whipping match time...I still don't know what that means
- Cole coming out wrapped in bubble wrap
- Cole won with a roll-up...THE FEUD THAT REFUSED TO DIE
- Cody Rhodes is so fucking awesome...best gimmick in wrestling today
- Cody v Rey...this should be awesome
- The crowd seem pretty flat tonight
- Mysterio is doing the green mist now??
- Decent enough match...faces win every single match in the WWE though, better than constant screwjobs but still predictable as fuck
- Divas...I don't give a shit about the match, but I do know that Kong shows up and presumably wrecks everybody's shit so there's that to look forward to
- Layla does the Diamond Dust? Impressed.
- More 2-counts than Taker v HHH
- Pretty decent match, better than I was expecting
- FUCK YEAH AWESOME KONG YOU GONNA DIE BLONDIE
- Lays out McCool, cuts to the Divas watching on a monitor, all look like 'oh shit', fucking awesome...she could stop doing that stupid laugh and I wouldn't complain, though
- Ladder match time :D I know Christian wins, but I still want to watch the whole thing. Does that make it just him and Angle who have been both TNA and WWE champs? In terms of the main belt, at least? Obv the Dudleys were tag champs in both etc etc
- Biggest chant of the night so far, and it's for Christian :)
- Christian doing the Spear :) I fucking knew he'd do it
- Christian got busted open...didn't see it happen, looked like it may be from struggling during the cross arm breaker through the ladder
- Edge shows up in a jeep, Brodus Clay is bleeding like crazy, a huge pool of blood on the mat where he fell...looks like most of the blood on Christian might actually be from Clay...CHRISTIAN IS THE FUCKING CHAMPION FUCK YEAH
- Great match, easily match of the night so far
- Saying he won because of Edge is bollocks...he was seconds from winning when Clay got involved, so if there were no run-ins he would have won anyway...all Edge did was even the odds.
- Shit Miz promo is shit
- Lumberjack tag match? What is this shit...
- Who actually likes lumberjack matches, seriously? There's never been a good lumberjack match, ever
- Barrett and Jackson are an unbelievably dull tag team
- That was pretty shit, but thankfully also pretty short
- Lumberjacks are brawling...ffs
- Main event time
- Bad landing for Miz
- Morrison totally deserves to win this, he's miles better than the other two
- Fucked up landing on that monkey flip...Morrison was bouncing around like he was doing The Worm
- FFS Morrison could have won the match, but did a Starship Pain off the top of the cage instead...it was cool and all, but it looked so fucking stupid when he could have just won the thing
- YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME R TRUTH FUCK YOU YOU CUNT
- This is bullshit, it's like I'm watching TNA or something
- Cena wins...I'm glad they took the belt off the Miz, but I'm pissed off that Morrison got so close only to get screwed...if he'd just got battered and been nowhere close I wouldn't have minded, but to have him basically win the match and then get screwed is fucking stupid. I really hope Cena doesn't keep the belt for the next 11 months just for his one match with The Rock.

An okay PPV, Christian v Del Rio was the highlight followed by the Divas match...everything else ranged somewhere between decent and mediocre.

WWE - Extreme Rules - predictions

It's Extreme Rules time again... and we know that it won't live up to its name. Judging from the card the matches seem quite thin on the ground, so predictions shouldn't take too long:

John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison - WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match

This could be quite a good match. I hope Morrison wins, I hope Cena doesn't. Based on that I'm sure Miz will retain.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match)

Christian will win this one. I really can't see both titles going to Raw, but I've been wrong on stuff like this before.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk (Last Man Standing Match)

This will probably be the best match of the night, I can see Punk losing again and taking a long holiday afterwards.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

Not sure why they need a falls count anwhere match, but hey, why not? I'm thinking that Rhodes won at Mania, Mysterio won on Smackdown... Mysterio to win.

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole & Jack Swagger (Country Whipping Match)

Ah, a good ol' country whipping match... whatever that means. This will be shit, but Cole will probably win.

Layla vs. Michelle McCool (Loser Leaves WWE Match)

This seems to have come from nowhere, maybe it's because I don't really pay attention to Divas. Layla to win...

The Clown from Outta Town, WWE Extreme Rules.

3:49 - Triple H in the opening match? What?
5:39 - shortest hardcore match ever.
7:43 - The greatest tag team in WWE history? The Dudleys are back?!
7:45 - Oh no, it's just a mediocre tag team with aspirations of adequacy.
12:45 - Why is Morrison being wasted as one of the first tag team in a tag gauntlet in the first proper match of the night? FFS. WWE needs a rip-off X-Division, they bury most of their best guys instead of elevating them.
16:03 - The commentary is truly awful.
19:45 - Why does anyone like MVP?
23:10 - Finally, a match I actually want to see - only took them the better part of half an hour. Way to go.
26:18 - 'Our fans in Europe, watching from places like the United Kingdom, Canada and Australia...'
43:39 - Match over. Nothing noteworthy occured.
45:19 - Strap match? Seriously? What fucking century are we in?
52:10 - Another match where nothing interesting happened.
53:00 - Attacking someone so they're injured and can't compete is a 'moral victory'? God, this commentary sucks.
58:29 - Here comes Orton - can't wait to see one of his sweet headlocks.
75:09 - Swagger beat Orton? Didn't expect that. One of the worst 'extreme' matches I've ever seen. Not worst I guess - just dullest.
80:51 - Shamus and Triple H are wearing almost exactly the same ring gear.
89:35 - I give up. I'm not watching the rest of this. They've had an hour and a half and not a single decent thing has happened.

- The Clown

WWE Extreme Rules 2010

With irs somewhat misleading title, Extreme Rules was anything but extreme. Maybe its because i've been watching Mick Foley's Greatest Hits and Misses, but watching Extreme Rules reminded me how tame WWE has got over the past few years.
The event opened with what was meant to be Sheamus versus Triple H in a street fight. Triple H was attacked from behind on the way to the ring, then an injured Triple H was sent to the trainers office to receive medical attention. Initially I thought that WWE didn't really have time/want to do the match, but when you have an announcer talking about the grave condition of the wrestler, you know that against all odds, the match will happen later on... and it did, and it sucked. Triple H storming out of the medical ofice was about as unexpected as R-Truth asking the crowd 'Wassup?'. The match was flat and Sheamus won.
So with the match between Sheamus and Triple H being postponed, Show Miz entered to cut a promo about being the greatest tag-team. Teddy Long came out put them in a gauntlet match against three other tag teams for a title shot. By this point we were over 10 minutes into the PPV and still hadn't seen any in-ring wrestling. It felt more like an expisode of Smackdown than a PPV, poor show.
So first we have R Truth and John Morrison. I really can't stand either of these two, so I was glad to see them get their asses kicked (although they did lose due to a DQ rather than a pin). R Truth annoys me for a number of reasons, apart from being a recycled Booker T, his rap is just rubbish and he always gets a cheap pop of the crowd. I know I've already mentioned Mick Foley, but remember when he was the commissioner on Raw and he always used to get a cheap pop by mentioning the place name and sticking his thumb up, knowing full well that it was an ironic cheap pop. R Truth does the same thing, but doesn't get the joke. John Morrison is just a pretty boy pouty prick, he's not bad in the ring, but he's not great. He looks like Val Kilmer when he played Jim Morrison and dresses like a bad Ric Flair parody.
Next up was the most boring fat fuck of a wrestler Mark Henry accompanied by MVP. I seem to remember that MVP was pretty good a few years ago, but Mark Henry has never been good, he's fet and he shouldn't wear that tight disgusting leotard. They were quickly beaten.
Next we have the Hart Dynasty. I always think it's a bit sad when you see the kids of wrestlers becoming wrestlers; it's like they've allowed a choice that their father/grandfather made before they were born to determine the path of their own lives. This being said, they're pretty good in the ring and they are obviously set to be the next tag team champions (something was probably written into Bret Hart's contract to give them a push). They obviously won. The one thing that disturbs me about the Hart Dynasty is Reinhart's daughter. She looks like she has been transported from the late 80s with her big hair and camel toe leggings. There's being nostalgic and just being dated.
Throughout the three matches, the commentary was really stilted and arkward. I remember when Jerry Lawler was a great commentator, what happened with that?
Next we had the Punk/Mysterio hair cut match. Again this match was nothing special. Punk was set up for a few 619s, most of which didn't connect - like all of their other matches. The only interesting part of the match was when a hooded figure appeared from beneath the ring to take out Mysterio. Contrary to the laws of logic and physics, CM Punk actually won the match, which actually suprised me. Punk's the best heel that WWE has had for a long time, and when he say smuggly in the barber shop chair at the the end of the match, that was pretty cool.
The next match was Swagger versus Orton. This match was, on the whole, pretty entertaining. Although Orton ruined a Shakira video for me, he's got great ring psychology (there's bit in the She Wolf video where Shakira does that weird shoulder thing that Orton does, didn't really want to be reminded of that while enjoying Shakira).
For a no DQ match, most of the match was pretty standard in-ring grappling. The highlight was when Orton stomped on Swagger's head; it almost looked like he really him as well! Orton then sets up a chair in the ring to RKO Swagger though it, Swagger counters and Powerbombs Orton to win. I was hoping the Orton would win because he's feuded with pretty much everyone on Raw, would have been good to see him move to Smackdown.
The main event was for the WWE Championship, a Last Man Standing match between Cena and Batista. The match, again, wasn't great, but did have some pretty good moments: Cena using the Attitude Adjustment to put Batista through the announce table; Batista using a Spine Buster on Cena to put him through a table; Batista trying to tap out of the STF and then passing out... only to get up at 9. The highlight was at the end of the match when Cena taped Batistas legs around a ring post so he couldn't get up. This was an innovative and smart way to end the match and was the high point of a pretty mediocre PPV without any real upsets or title changes (think the Divas title might have changed, but I was making some food when the match was on).