Edge - A tribute

Monday, April 11th 2011 was a very sad day for the WWE - Adam "Edge" Copeland has announced his retirement at the tender age of 37 due to a serious bone disease which basically means that his spine is growing narrower.

After an brief and unremarkable tenure in WCW, Edge made his WWE debut in 1998 as a singles star before becoming one half of one of the finest tag teams along with his friend Christian, they held the tag titles on numerous occasions and were pioneers in the now legendary TLC (Tables, Ladders and Chairs) matches where they won the titles twice.



As a singles competitor he won the singles titles on numerous occasions and is one of few grand slam winners. He also won the TLC match on his own several times.

One of the best matches I saw was versus Mick Foley in a hardcore match - brutal!


His wrestling accomplishments are vast, too many to list here so take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Copeland#Championships_and_accomplishments

Great rivalries include legends like Ric Flair, Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle.

I hope he continues with the WWE as the guy is a legend on the mic.

I have left out significant details of his career so that anyone who reads this might want to add their own memories of the Rated R Superstar.

Edge, I salute you.

Review: TNA Hardcore Justice

I had my doubts; I thought that Hardcore Justice was probably going to be a Botchamania special. I thought you’d have a bunch of washed-up guys trying to recapture something that had long evaporated... but shit me, I was wrong.

I was never into ECW in the 90s. I was introduced to it by Socko writer That Clown from Outta Town in October 2000. We had some crazy times back then, and watching this PPV brought back a lot of long forgotten memories of kicking the shit with a great friend. Back then I firmly believed that wrestling was fake... all of it. I believed that it was all bullshit, but then Clown played me some of his ECW tapes. Crazy shit with Sandman, Rhino and Kid Kash stick in my head. I’d never seen anything like it – it opened my eyes. Clown’s room smelt of wet dog, we made bongs out of Pringles tubes, ate our bodyweights in microwave popcorn, debated whether Fred Durst was a complete cunt or an absolute cunt, lived days by the whim of a dice-roll and played the Brake Fast Bends level on Micro Machines until our thumbs bled. Fuck, we didn’t know how lucky we were to have that time on our hands. This PPV was meant to be a piece of nostalgia, and God damn it, it worked.

With the event opening we had ECW, sorry, EV2.0 (?!) announcer Stephen DeAngelis introduce the human suplex machine Taz – this guy can still wrestle on the mic, let me tell thee.

We’re living in an age when history is someone’s intellectual property. Can you imagine if Germany were to sue Britain every time someone mentioned Adolph Hitler or the Nazi Party? Or maybe if the French sued whenever the word Napoleon came up on a history show? ECW occurred, and it is part of history... the changing of names, and letters is so fucking redundant... but I digress...

So the first match was a six-man tag match: Full Blooded Italians versus Kid Kash, Johnny Swinger & Simon Diamond. This was pretty entertaining, it had a dance off in the middle, but at least the crowd were chanting ‘where’s my pizza’. Tracy Smothers looked incredibly droopy. If you can imagine a latter-day Terry Funk being sucked into a vertical wind tunnel, you might just get the look. Simon Diamond has also, ahem, put on a few pounds – even Taz remarked that he’d been ‘blown up’. The match wasn’t great, but it was entertaining. The dance off confused the fuck out of me, but Kid Kash did a crazy-ass dive onto the floor and Guido got the win with a Killswitch (I’m pretty sure it was, there was some debate).

Next up we had some crazy-ass promo with some old ECW people who couldn’t be arsed to be there. One such person was the Blue Meanie, who for some reason, they replaced in the actual show with some random fat guy. What the fuck? The backstage sequence with the (semi-fake) bWo and Al Snow saying "You can't even use the shirts! We're so sued..." nearly made me poo my pants off.

The we had some bullshit ‘I remember’ segments from TNA stars who were, like, totally into ECW, but never really got to see it, because they were, like, five years old. Saying that, knowing that Madison Rayne and Angelina Love really liked ECW gives me a nice warm feeling... Rayne was thirteen when ECW folded...

The second match of the night was CW Anderson versus Too Cold Scorpio. I’ll be honest, I have no fucking idea who CW Anderson was or is... I’m sure Clown will enlighten me (maybe even mark out) but I really didn’t know/remember this guy at all. He looked something like Arn/Mr/Ole Anderson, but that was it... Scorpio botched a few spots, but the match was pretty decent. A couple of superkicks and a moonsault-legdrop combo by Scorpio for the win. Not a bad match, but not great... still better than what WWE are doing these days.

Next up was Stevie Richards (accompanied by the fake Blue Meanie and Hollywood Nova) versus Justin Credible. This match took a bit to get going, but we did get Richards posting Justin... ouch! There’s a few suplexes, a few powerbombs, nothing too extreme. Then Stevie comes out with ‘enough of this shit’ and gets a Steviekick in for the win. Richards and Credible were out of sync throughout and the match was nothing to write home about. After losing, Credible started hitting Stevie with a kendo stick. In true Sting fashion, the lights went out and came back on to reveal the Sandman with a cane.

Back in the day there is no fucking way that the next match would been on a PPV: Spike Dudley versus Al Snow (with Head) versus Rhino in a three-way dance. Earlier on Snow had made some comments to (Doctor) Stevie Richards, asking if he knew a therapist, hilarious stuff. All I could think throughout this match was about how shit Al Snow is and how he’s the butt of every other joke in Foley’s first autobiography. The match itself was pretty shit, luckily it only lasted about 6 minutes. A lot of brawling, a nice Sliced Bread by Spike and Rhino got the win with a Gore.

Next up was Balls Mahoney & Axl Rotten versus Team 3D. 3D were accompanied to the ring by Joel Gertner who probably got the biggest crowd reaction of the night with his poetic reference to Lady Gaga. Funny shit. With the Dudley’s back in their old ring-gear they declared that it would be a street fight (I thought this was already meant to be extreme?) Most of this match was pretty poor, throughout most of it they had this fucking annoying split-screen thing going on. Directors take note: split screen is shit. In fact, not only was the split screen shit, the graphics for the whole show looked really amateurish. Once the match went to one screen it was pretty funny. There was a hilarious bit with toy light sabres which I am sure smark fans will hate, but I thought it was hilarious. The match culminated with the Dudley’s doing a Wassup Drop to get the pin. They then get a table, set it on fire and Powerbomb Balls through it. Classic Dudleys. On the whole, this was a bad match which was saved by a lot of old school references, comedy bits and after the match... New Jack! The Gangstas came in and interrupted 3D’s celebration with an impromptu match. Bins, staple guns, hockey sticks, and crutches all came into play. Gertner got smacked by a guitar... then there’s a stare-down... and a hug. How lovely.

Next up was Tommy Dreamer versus Raven with Mick Foley as special referee. This was a long match (about 17 minutes). In the most part, it wasn’t great but there were some awesome moments, mainly to do with creative use of barbed-wire: a cross-face using the stuff and Mr Socko wrapped in the stuff (even though Socko never appeared in ECW). Holy shit, there was some juice flowing in this one. The match ended with Raven getting the win with his Raven Effect DDT onto a chair.

There was a backstage vignette with the Gangstas, JB and SoCal Val. Mustafa grabbed Val by the hair and drags her off screen, what the fuck? Is the insinuation rape here? Is this what ECW was about. New Jack then scares JB. Pretty lame.

Finally, we have the main event RVD (with Fonzie) versus Sabu (with Fonzie). Sabu was bald and looked a bit like a Victorian strong-man, very odd. I have to say I really enjoyed this match, though I think Fonzie put on the best performances of the night, this guy’s great. The match was pretty much a best of Sabu versus RVD with them doing all of their best spots. Arabian Facebuster, Rolling Thunder with a steel chair, Van Assassin, and crazy dives over the guard rail were all in here. It was a bit sloppy around the edges, but the fact that these two guys can go like this says a lot. I was also reminded how good RVD can be when he can be arsed. RVD won with the Five Star Frog Splash and they hugged at the end.

At the end Dreamer and the rest of the ECW guys came out to thank the crowd (Dreamer now sporting a rather nasty looking black-eye). Dixie was brought into the ring and it was all lovely. Then the chants of ‘fuck you Vince’ finished it off nicely.

Joel Gertner and Fonzie proved something which I have thought for a good while: there are no decent wrestling managers anymore. TNA need some good managers to big up wrestlers who might not be the best on the mic but are awesome in the ring. This was attempted with Amazing Red and Dom West, but Red was pushed aside, ooh, around January time.

So, it didn’t quite look right being in the Impact Zone, and didn’t sound without Joey Styles on the announce table, and TNA couldn’t use the letters ECW in the order I’ve just written them, oh, and some of the names were a bit wrong... but fuck it, it was it was, and they put on a great show. Smarks will no doubt piss all over this because from a pure wrestling standpoint they weren’t great matches, but that wasn’t the fucking point. E C fuckin’ W.

That Clown from Outta Town - August 5th iMPACT

Another week, another iMPACT.

I'm looking forward to the MCMG v Beer Money match. Kinda curious about the Jay Lethal v Ric Flair street fight too. Let's hope they actually start with wrestling today. Also, announcing the matches for Hardcore Justice would be nice.

2:49 - Dreamer's on his way to the ring...but dressed to chat, not wrestle. Please don't cry again, Tommy.
6:14 - Best Raven promo ever.
7:19 - FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY
7:44 - Special ref? He's not going to wrestle :'(
9:21 - Knockouts, fast forwarding
10:58 - Oh wait, Hamada...watching.
15:46 - Ref bump...ffs TNA stop with the ref bumps
16:24 - Not the greatest match - Lacey is improving, but she's still too green for TV. Still, new champs so we'll be seeing more of Hamada - the best Knockout.
17:17 - AJ v Rob Terry again - after Rob destroyed Kaz last week in under 30 seconds, we might be seeing two championship changes in as many matches...
18:13 - And as soon as I hear AJ's music, anything seems possible. I love that tune. I was Audiosurf world champion for AJ's theme tune - true story. AJ to retain.
22:42 - AJ got battered, but pulled it out in the end. I love that 450 splash.
24:35 - Angle v AJ - Can't fucking wait
26:02 - Woop woop, Ultimate X coming up :D
27:35 - FFS, TNA - you say Ultimate X is up next, then cut to the Beautiful People scrapping backstage...NOBODY CARES
27:44 - "Trust my ass"...great promo, Velvet.
28:13 - IT'S TIME
32:26 - Bell finally rings...
39:57 - 2nd best huricarana ever.
41:36 - Sliced Bread on the apron...fucking hell
42:26 - Awesome, awesome match. TNA can really pull it out when they want to.
43:00 - What better way to follow that great match than a Bischoff promo? FFS
45:20 - Wow, Hogan looks tired
46:05 - Oh FFS, Bischoff is special ref in the Janice on a pole match
46:41 - Looks like Hard justice is just going to be the special iMPACT next week...so I'm guessing no TNA matches whatsoever at Hardcore Justice :D
51:30 - Sting and Nash kicking ass...finally, the one guy who was kicking the shit out of Bischoff on a regular basis is back :D
53:52 - Pope v Jordan...this could be good.
55:53 - What the fuck.
62:38 - Streetfight time :)
64:24 - It's weird how the Angle angle has gone from Angle saying 'If I lose, it may be my last match' to 'If Angle loses, he MUST RETIRE'...
70:56 - Ridiculous match - it ended up with Flair wearing one sock, one shoe and pants...nothing else. He even got his arse out. FFS. Aside from that, not a bad match though.
73:24 - RVD v Jerry Lynn is the Hardcore Justice main event :D
76:33 - So...you've got RVD, Tommy Dreamer, Raven and Abyss in one match...and they don't book it as a hardcore match. FFS TNA.
81:36 - FUCK YEAH SANDMAN

Awesome iMPACT, main event was a bit shit but apart for that great. MCMG v Beer Money was the highlight, for the 4th week running. Can't wait for PPV.

They only announced 2 matches for Hardcore Justice, I think most of the people showing up are going to be a surprise...I'd love to see Tajiri v Super Crazy, but that's probably the least likely match possible. This is going to be awesome.

That Clown from Outta Town - July 15th 2010 iMPACT

I'm looking forward to this one - the PPV was, for me, a complete overachiever and much more fun than it looked on paper. I'm actually interested in the fallout from some of the matches this month.

Looking forward to finding out what happens next, primarily with the Lethal/Flair situation as well as the 3D angle. Lethal v Flair was much better than I expected (I was expecting it to be about as good as Orlando Jordan v Ultimate Warrior...). I'm also looking forward to the new rankings, since they actually have an impact on the next PPV - at least, they have an impact on the main event. I'm expecting either Joe or Abyss to be #1 contender, but TNA likes throwing curveballs so who knows.

As always, I hope they start with wrestling. But if they start with the rankings, I'll let them off.

00:30 - They mentioned the Joe/Wolfe thing...a feud looks slightly more likely now than 30 secs ago :)
1:25 - Settle the controversy over the tag titles? What controversy, MCMG clearly won, despite the ridiculous finish and restart which really didn't improve the match one bit...unless that's the controversy. But did anyone actually want Beer Money to beat MCMG? I'd be surprised to find out they did.
1:28 - Ladies streetfight - I won't be fast forwarding that one.
1:55 - Rankings
2:30 - Yup, Abyss at #1...the only real surprises are that Joe is only at #4, Lethal has made it up to #5, and Rob Terry is back in the top 10. I don't get why Angle goes up one place per match, while the rest of the roster fly up and down the ladder seemingly at random. Probably best not to think about it (which is the TNA fan's mantra, as we all know)
2:48 - Haha, Abyss is about to beat up a leg of beef...I'd love to see the meeting where they came up with that one
4:58 - Abyss has named his 'girl' Janice
5:39 - Hahaha, Abyss was hitting the beef and snapped Janice in half...hahaha
6:43 - Abyss is now making out with the beef...
7:07 - Looks like the streetfight's just gonna be a backstage brawl
7:57 - How come they know there's a fight going on, they managed to get a cameraman there to film it, but didn't get any security or anything to break it up? Probably best not to think about it.
10:50 - MCMG and Beer Money are going to have a best of 5 series?? Christ...TNA needs more tag teams.
12:58 - This streetfight is bad, and I want it to end.
13:17 - Cool, it's over...
14:31 - God, Bischoff's secretary...Bischoff can't be far away...
14:55 - Everyone cheering when Nash came in makes it look like a fucking sitcom
15:57 - Non-title I Quit match...so Kendrick's gonna win, obviously.
19:38 - Never seen that Monkey-Flip-into-Boston-Crab before...fucking awesome.
22:25 - Good match while Doug had momentum, but a terrible ending - how come Kendrick is suddenly able to submit Doug in like 30 seconds?
24:54 - Jarret's stopping a beatdown D: Fucking Jarrett
25:14 - Or maybe he'll batter Jarrett instead.
28:37 - Chelsea still exists :(
28:50 - Christ, now Wolfe gets to job to Rob Terry...they must really hate him backstage to lumber him with this shit and ignore his obvious talent
29:25 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE - I guess it's a 3-way?
29:38 - KILL THEM BOTH JOE THEN START ON THE AUDIENCE - KILL EVERYTHING THAT MOVES
30:34 - Wow, Brutus Magnus is back...maybe to team with Wolfe? I hope not, I want Wolfe v Joe at the PPV
31:37 - Is it me, or has Magnus stolen Christian's look?
34:04 - That kick by Terry wasn't even close
34:11 - Joe's kick landed though :D
34:20 - AND JOE FUCKING WINS FUCK YEAH
35:29 - Ladder match up next...maybe this best of 5 thing might turn out ok.
35:59 - I'm 90% sure Flair is going to try and recruit Lethal as the first member of Fortune.
43:03 - Sabin just failed to run up a ladder...that'll be on Botchamania
43:10 - Holy shit, what an awesome clothesline
45:55 - This match is awesome
47:34 - That was actually a pretty decent screwjob...
48:21 - Abyss has a new Janice...
48:36 - Matt Morgan v Pope. Who knows if it'll be any good or not?
52:28 - Angle v Hernandez? I hope they Wolfe it and don't take it to PPV...
51:29 - Pope beats Morgan in under 3 minutes...what the fuck. I've seen highlight reels which were longer than that match.
53:17 - Anderson coming in for the save on Pope...that's a pretty smart way of having the two make up, didn't see that coming...and explains why the match was so short.
56:21 - Warning, Knockout on the mic...
57:52 - Madison is threatening to sue TNA if she doesn't get her belt back...I hope she sues, I'd rather watch a long, boring and complicated court case than another Madison Rayne match.
63:27 - There's too many mystery people in TNA...the mystery biker (looks like it could be Alyssa Flash), and Abyss' 'Them'...one is enough.
64:59 - Lethal v Hardy, should be good :)
65:13 - Lethal's still wearing his 'I love Hogan' red and yellow outfit...looks more ridiculous that the Black Machismo outfits, except this time it's not on purpose.
66:02 - Admittedly, it looks better without the robe...I guess it's just the robe I don't like.
68:28 - Fans chanting ECW again...sigh
70:50 - MCMG v Beer Money in a street fight next week :)
71:12 - Cool, Hernandez v Angle on iMPACT...they're gonna Wolfe it :D
71:34 - An ok match, nothing hugely inspiring...shame Jay didn't get the win.
72:16 - Fortune announcement...AJ and Kaz first members...but here comes Wolfe
73:31 - And here comes Abyss...the last ten minutes are going to be a clusterfuck, apparently.
79:40 - FUCK YEAH FOLEY IS BACK
79:57 - ECW INVASION :D
82:18 - This is mental
83:54 - Dixie invited the ECW guys...that makes no sense, if she's in charge why didn't she tell anyone so that this exact thing didn't happen? Probably best not to think about it.

This was a pretty ok iMPACT, they seemed to forget about all of the plot threads they left hanging at the PPV but there were some pretty decent matches. MCMG v Beer Money stole the show, I'm glad to see Foley back (and I'm sure Socko is too), Joe won (after losing 2 matches in a row...that's a long streak of losses for Joe), Abyss beating up a cow's leg was funny as fuck...nothing else hugely significant happened.

Most of the matches were a decent length for once (or at least seemed to be), which was nice to see. TNA really needs to work on storytelling though - their angles just aren't captivating at all right now. If they get the storytelling right, they have easily enough talent to be fucking awesome. A lot of the problem is inconsistency - they'll leave an angle on a cliffhanger, then not mention it for a few weeks by which point nobody cares any more. If they followed up straight away, then people would be more interested. But still, a definite improvement on the last few weeks.

Greatest Matches Ever! WWF The Rock versus Mankind, Royal Rumble 1999

I was discussing the recent 'I Quit' match at WWE's Over the Limit with Ric Flair's Bleeding Forehead earlier today and we both came to conclusion that it was not a great 'I Quit' match and made both Batista and Cena look like pussies.

If anyone has ever seen Beyond the Mat, you will be familiar with how far Foley pushed his body in this match, and what a match it was.

Damn, this is what an 'I Quit; match should be like, this is what a good crowd sounds like and this is what Jerry Lawler should sound like.

WWE has waned in popularity in reent years as they have toned down the violence and adult themes of the show, meanwhile, older fans have turned to MMA (UFC 111 had more buys than Wrestlemania 26 which were shown on the same weekend). The fact is that there aren't that many people over the age of 25 who are convinced by Cena, and damn it, they want to see violence. Anyway, lets take a look at this great match between the Rock and Mankind, and then compare with Cena versus Batista....

Greatest Promos Ever! ECW: "Dewey Foley is a three year old boy... you sick sons of bitches!"

I've realised this isn't the first time Mr Foley has appeared in the greatest promos section. Maybe this is because Micky boy is one of my favourite wrestlers of all time, or maybe it's simply because the guy can cut a great promo.
After my last post I was thinking about how great the Cactus Jack character was and how Mick would bring a real sense of intensity, frustration and craziness to his promos. I saw an interview a while back where Foley said that for a lot of his Cactus Jack promos he would be as honest as possible whilst pulling his delivery from "some dark place".
It seems that Foley was pissed off with some fans who had bought a "Cane Dewey" sign to a match. Well if you insist on naming your kid after a character from Ducktales...

Greatest Matches Ever! WWE: Cactus Jack vs Triple H

Mick Foley in one of his many guises had some pretty intense matches with Mr Helmsley during his time in WWE/F. The Hell in a Cell and Boiler Room Brawl matches spring to mind. Perhaps my favourite bout between themm was the Street Fight at Royal Rumble 2000. The match is awesome and it was when JR was announcing with Jerry Lawler (before Lawler went shit). Here's the promo just to get you in the mood....






They don't make 'em like that no more!

Greatest Promos Ever! WWE: "I've got you some female entertainment, and I think you know what I mean..."

A lot of people bitch about Russo, but when he was at his peak he wrote some hilarious promos for WWF/E. I'd not seen this promo in years and remembered how funny it was when I saw it back in the day.
In this promo, Mankind pays Vince McMahon a visit in the hospital afte Vince had been injured at the hands of Stone Cold Steve Austin. Mankind tries to cheer Vince up and chaos ensues. I don't know which bit is funniest, the bit which is meant to be funny, or the bit that follows...
...oh and this promo (I think) is the premier of Mr Socko. Bang bang.