WWE Extreme Rules: Predictions

It’s time for my WWE Extreme Rules predictions:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)

I’m not sure what makes an Extreme Rules match any different from a no-DQ match, and as no one on TV has explained what exactly an Extreme Rules match entails, I’m pretty sure that most casual fans will have no idea what this means.

There is only one way that this match can go, and that is with a convincing win for Brock Lesnar. Of course, they could give the win to Cena, but this would be incredibly short-sighted. Based on WWE’s track-record over the last few years however, this is a distinct possibility.

I am working on the theory that Cena is going to be on a losing streak in order for his character to become more serious while still remaining a babyface. Though everything is currently pointing to a double turn by Cena and Brock, I just can’t see this happening. I can see another big match that Cena will lose, perhaps against another outsider like Batista or JBL (though I can’t see the latter returning any time soon).

Brock to win.


World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)
This is a very difficult one to call because I’m sure that the audience’s reaction to Bryan since Mania has damaged the push of Sheamus. Are WWE going to run with it in the way that they did Jeff Hardy, or are they going to be in the mindset of letting the audience know how wrong they are, as they did with Ryder?

I find it amusing that WWE went for the record-breaking win with these two (a move which would have added more to the Cody/Big Show feud), only for it to backfire. I’m sure that the writers thought that it would be the perfect way to elevate Sheamus – it didn’t work and the fans turned. I know that personally I was pretty pissed off. Last year I’d paid for the match, only for it to be demoted to the dark match, only to be screwed again. To say I felt a little ripped off is an understatement.

I’m hoping that we’ll get a long, 4 star plus match out of this one. I hope they don’t do two quick pins with Sheamus retaining. Although I can’t see it happening, Bryan was a great champion and I’d love to see him get another run. Of course, this is WWE in 2012, so Sheamus is clearly going to win.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)
The premise of the whole feud has been lame. I’m not interested in the feud at all, even though the match has the potential to be pretty decent.

If I’ve learnt one thing about sports through this feud, if you want to get a shot at a championship, the best thing to do is to lose clean at the biggest show of the year and then pour alcohol on your opponent. Junior Dos Santos should take heed, if someone pours Bourbon on you, that title shot is as good as signed.
Jericho to win.

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)
Poor Randy Orton. Has Kane ever been in a decent feud? Think about it... he hasn’t, has he? Match should be okay, Orton should be feuding with Bryan at the moment (not Jinder Mahal as they are hinting).
Orton to win.


Intercontinental Champion Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Based on the booking, logic would say that Cody has no chance of winning. This is WWE in 2012, so based on his losing streak, Cody will win.

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. The Miz
Poor Miz. The burial continues. Even if he wins, who gives a shit about the US title?
Miz to win.

Divas Champion Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix
The match made on Twitter. Nikki will retain.

Final thoughts
This has the potential for three decent matches. I really want to see Danielson regain the title, after a gruelling back-and-forth match that elevates both guys. I wish Kane would just retire.

Wrestlemania 28 predictions

With an underwhelming go-home show for this year’s Wrestlemania in the bag, it is time to put my hat into the ring and choose my predictions for this year’s show.
Compared to the last two years, Wrestlemania 28 is by far a much stronger bill up and down the card. I still find it odd that they are billing the show as having FOUR main events, but who cares? I’m past trying to think through WWE’s bizarre logic.
Anyway, let’s take a look at the card (which will probably be tweaked come Sunday):

Randy Orton vs. Kane
This match has had almost zero build. Kane was feuding with Zack Ryder and Cena, getting Cena to embrace the hate, then Kane realised that he’d shook Rany Orton’s hand last summer and so build a match from that. This feud (if you can even call it that) feels more like an after-thought than anything to get excited about. The match should be fine, and Orton will win.

Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres
This will be when I get some beers and put on some hotdogs. The token celebrity match (though Menounos is pretty much unheard of outside of the US). I hope it’s short, because it will certainly be a dud by anyone’s standards. Faces to win.

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show for the Intercontinental Title
Cody Rhodes is very good, so this match has potential to be pretty entertaining. Cody has been humiliating Show for weeks, so the build has been really strong. I predict a win for Cody, with the Big Show probably snapping after the match and destroying Cody. Show will get his revenge, but Cody will keep the title.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
The geek match. It’s really hard to care about the result of this match because Teddy Long is so unlikable and Otunga and Johnny are so entertaining as a double-act (just please don’t put Otunga in the ring). I think it’s obvious that Teddy Long’s team is losing, and there should be some pretty decent spots in the match. I predict that Drew MacIntyre (of all people) will get the pin in order to rebuild his character... but I’m not holding my breath.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title
Main Event time! This was the match I paid for last year but never got, so it’s good to see that it is now the main event and not a dark match. This match has the potential to elevate both Sheamus and Danielson to the next level. I just hope they are given a decent amount of time to show what they can do. The only thing which might work against this match is the lack of heat between Danielson and Sheamus. For months Danielson had heat with Henry, Cole, Show, even AJ, but there’s not been much with Sheamus. I think the build has made it quite obvious that Sheamus will win (even though Sheamus, and not the champ was pinned on Raw).

The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a Hell in a Cell Match
Main Event time! This match will be awesome and I can’t wait. I predict that Undertaker will win, probably after kicking out of a Sweet Chin Music at some point. They’ve done a hell of a job building this match up, some of the promos have told really intriguing stories. I think they missed a trick by not having Shawn out on the last Raw doing a promo with ambiguous wording as way to add more intrigue to the match, but hey, we had to see the same Rock/Cena promo again. I predict lots of blood, and a good slow-paced match with lots of drama.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho for the WWE Title
Main Event time! I’ve really enjoyed the way they’ve built up this match. It’s nice to see that Jericho has got to Punk and that feud has moved beyond a simple “I’m the best”, “No, I’m the best” feud to something with more dimensions. I think they’ll have a hell of match, maybe the best of the night. I can see Jericho winning the title, with Punk winning it back at the next PPV.

John Cena vs. The Rock
WWE can’t win with this match. If Rock wins, Cena’s going to still be around to hold up the company, while Rock’s off doing films. If Cena wins, nothing will be gained and everyone who hates Cena going in will continue to hate Cena. A lot of the interest in the match has gone down for me. I’ve found Rock to be unlikable, relying on catchphrases and very out-of-date cultural references (Mark E Mark hasn’t been around for about 20 years, the Tellytubbies had their day about 15 years ago). Cena’s character came off well for a few weeks, but when he came out to do his Dr of Thugonomics gimmick, you knew that Cena, in any guise, is simply playing a role. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed the promos, they’ve been entertaining, but have they built up the match any more than they did a year ago? My feeling is not. Cena looks set to win, but it’s in Rock’s hometown so I can’t really see the 50/50 split that the WWE were hoping for.

For blog's sake...

Where to begin? TNA is capable of so much, that goes for shit and genius. One minute it produces some of the greatest matches I've ever seen, some of the worst swerves too. I thought it was a true spectacle to see AJ Styles drop onto Bully Ray from on basically top of building only for Bully Ray (I cringe when I type that name) to somehow pull the match out of the bag by knocking AJ through a wall and standing up for about a second. The sad part though is that I was half expecting the wall to be Vince Russo all along.

Sting - What the fuck? TNA have now decided that Heath Ledger was so amazing as the Joker (I have to say that he was good despite being shite because the fucker's dead) that they've basically made him as the next incarnation. I've heard that he's going to be having a match against Jack Nicholson with the reanimated ashes of Cesar Romero as special guest referee.

WWE - R Truth. Genius - He's a good R Truth! They should do the same with John Fucking Cena. They've really started to piss me off lately with Super-Cena Man - A man who can be dominated for 99% of a match and will still always win. Poor CM Punk doesn't stand a chance - if he isn't victim to a monumental WWE screwjob in his hometown he'll be tapping to Cena after delivering between 4 and 8 GTS's. I'm getting really bored of the rivalry between Randy Orton and Christian, both are capable of some great matches but enough is enough. Christian has had enough goes, I think it's time for a new face to step up - I'm thinking it could be Wade Barrett's turn.

Sticking with Smackdown, for once I was glad to see Daniel Bryanson lose what was another great match with Cody Rhodes - this one has got some mileage left in it yet. It was also good to see little Daniel to finally get some mic time. He's no CM Punk on the mic but he's pretty good - much better than Randy Orton.

I've never been good at closing articles, so long.

WWE Elimination Chamber predictions revisited

The Elimination Chamber is one of my favourite gimmick matches, and this PPV did not disappooint. Let's see how I did, I've got a pretty good feeling about this one:

"-- WWE champion The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler for the WWE Title.

Miz. This match will be decent enough, but very old school. I can see Cole helping the Miz get the win (again), thus leading to some kind of Cole/Lawler match at Wrestlemania to rival Mr McMahon vs. Bret Hart at WM 26 for stinker of the decade."

Miz won, but with a clean victory. The match was very good, old school, but very good. Before the match Lawler did an awesome promo which actually made the title seem like it actually meant something for the first time in God knows how long. I'm glad they are giving Miz some clean victories over credible opponents, they've booked Miz pretty badly over the last year, and I think they are only just starting to book him as a champion.

Match rating: ****

"-- Smackdown Elimination Chamber match - World Hvt. Title match: World champion Edge vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Wade Barrett vs. Drew McIntyre. One slot vacated.

So Ziggler's going to come back in and Edge will retain. Simple."

Okay, so Ziggler didn't make a comeback tonight, but Edge did win. I really enjoyed this Elimination Chamber match, I actually think that this was slightly better than the Raw one, the last ten minutes were particularly good.

Match rating: ****1/2


"-- Raw Elimination Chamber match - #1 contender match to WWE Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. C.M. Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Sheamus vs. R-Truth.

It's going to be Cena, though I'd like to see Punk headline WM, that ain't gonna happen any time soon."

This was another great EC match. There were some pretty cool spots in this one, and all the guys (except maybe Orton) worked their asses off and used the cage to do some pretty cool spots, and some stupid ones it must be said. There was one spot where Morrison scaled the cage, right up to the middle of the roof, and then he just kind of dropped down on Sheamus, who had been waiting to catch him for almost a minute. I though that Morrison would have done something a bit more interesting here, and maybe he was meant to. A lot of the stuff was highlight reel material, and when you saw the nasty bruises developing on Punk and Sheamus, you knew that they were putting their bodies on the line in this one.

Match rating: ****

"-- #1 contender Alberto Del Rio vs. IC champion Kofi Kingston.

Is this for the IC belt? Kofi loses pretty much every match he's in, and Del Rio needs to look strong on the run-up to WM, be stupid if Del Rio loses."

Del Rio won, and this was a great opener: fast-paced, quite a few near-falls. Del Rio won with his Cross Arm-breaker, so no suprises there, and the IC title wasn't mentioned once. It would have been cool for Del Rio to have the IC belt on the run-up to WM, but the title means less than the main ones, so I suppose it doesn't matter.

Match rating: ***

"-- WWE Unified tag champions Santino & Kozlov vs. Corre (Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater) for the WWE Tag Titles

PLEASE BE THE CORRE. I hate the Corre, I hate their name, I hate Heath Slater, I hate their gimmick (I think they are meant to be a communist Nexus)... but, if it means Santino and Koslov aren't champs, then I'm all for it... probably won't even watch this one."

The Corre won, and the match was sloppy. I really don't like watch Santino or Koslov in the ring, and I'm not convinced by Heath Slater. Michael Cole's started calling him 'the one-man rock band' - does this mean that he plays guitar, sings, and has a number of percussion instruments attached by strings to different parts of his body when he plays? I think it does.

Match rating: **

Overall, I really enjoyed this PPV. The matches (apart from the tag match) were great, the PPV was let down by stupid segments which should have been on Raw. When Trish Stratus came out and started doing Rock catchphrases only a week after the real Rock had come out and tore the house down with his promo on Raw, it seemed kind of lame... but Christian came back, so at least that's a plus. Booker T on commentary is also awful.

Review: WWE Hell in a Cell

Hell in a Cell matches are up there with I Quit matches and ladder matches as my favourite type of matches. Unlike the traditional cage match, the Hell in a Cell has become synonymous with brutality and career-shortening matches. In the spirit of every other PPV put out by WWE these days, the PPV was named after the gimmick – Hell in a Cell. I was hoping that all of the matches would be cell matches (even the submissions count anywhere match), but there were only two.

Match one: USA Championship, submissions count anywhere.
The Miz versus Bryan Danilson (c) versus John Morrison.

When this match started, I was disappointed that a) there was no cell, and b) that this was the first match. I was hoping that it would be higher up on the card and climax on top the cage, but no such luck. The booking for this match was odd; I don’t think that anyone has had Miz or Morrison down as a submission wrestler before this. Indeed, over the past few weeks on Raw they have been showcasing Morrison’s free-running skills. Saying this though, Morrison used a pretty cool looking Reverse Tarantula on the Miz pretty early on, this transitioned into Bryan applying the Cattle Mutilation. The Cattle Mutilation was correctly identified by Stryker, which led to Cole taking the piss out of the move name. This was then broken up by a Twisting Moonsault from the top by Morrison, a move which looks as awesome as it is pointless.
The match moved into the audience with Morrison getting in an Arm Breaker. He then put Danielson on a kind of box thing and pushed it into the ramp. There was a bit of back and forth between Danielson and the Miz whilst Morrison climbed up to the lighting truss and did a Cross Body from about 20ft in the air. The drop looked cool, but because Morrison was caught so nicely by Miz and Danielson, it was probably one of the safest spots of the match. Morrison applied a Texas Cloverleaf onto Danielson on the entrance ramp. It was at this point that Alex Riley got involved tossing Morrison away, this allowed Danielson to hook in the LeBelle Lock onto Miz, with the Miz doing a great selling job before tapping out. Cole even admitted that Danielson was the real deal.
On the whole this was a very good match, but it would have been much better had it been the Miz versus Danielson in and atop of the cell.
Match rating ***½


Match two: WWE Championship, Hell in a Cell match
Randy Orton (c) versus Sheamus

At over 25 minutes, this match was far too long. The crowd were flat, there were large chunks of the match which were boring, and a number of spots which seemed pointless. The match started with a collar and elbow tie up which went on for far too long. They went outside of the ring, Orton hit Sheamus with the steel steps and went back into the ring for the two-count. Throughout the match Orton teased the RKO (remember, if he hits the RKO, it’s all over) a few times and knocked Sheamus for a couple of near-falls. Sheamus brought the steps into the centre of the ring and many of the moves for the rest of the match utilised the steps in some way. There was a nasty looking spot where Orton Scoop Slammed Sheamus onto the steps for a two-count.
One of the dumbest part of this match occurred when Sheamus gave a Backbreaker on to his knee whilst standing on the steps. Using wrestling logic, I would assume that having the steel beneath his feet made the Backbreaker more powerful, erm, or something.
This match really dipped for about 10 minutes, with a lot of back-and-forth kicks and punches going on. The matched climaxed with Sheamus trying to give the High Cross/Razor’s Edge from the steps. Luckily, and thank goodness, Randy Orton countered and hit the Arrrrr Kaaaaayyy Ohhhhhh!!! With the magical move being hit, Orton got the pin and retained the title.
Match Rating: **½


After the match we had a small promo advertising the next PPV, Bragging Rights. Here we had a great WCW moment. With the possibility that the Nexus would be forced to dissolve later that evening, the graphic for the next PPV had the Smackdown versus Raw logo, with the Nexus ‘N’ quite prominent in the graphic. Essentially, WWE gave the results of Wade/Cena match later that night. FFS WWE.


Match Three: Edge versus Jack Swagger

This match seemed to come from nowhere. It began with a promo between Alberto Del Rio, Edge and Jack Swagger. The promo was interrupted by the Raw GM noise (what jurisdiction the Raw GM has over Smackdown guys on a PPV seems a little inconsistent to say the least), with the GM stating that it would be a match between Swagger and Edge, Del Rio skulked off at this point.
The match wasn’t bad, but the crowd really didn’t get into it at all. The crowd reaction was so flat that even the announcers tried to make excuses for them with King noting that the crowd are enjoying watching these guys beat each other up because they are both bad guys, with Stryker adding that crowd was recovering from the last match... yeah right.
Every time I see Jack Swagger wrestle, he seems to have added another of Kurt Angle’s moves to his repertoire. In this match we saw him do the Angle spot where he runs and throws his opponent from the top rope.
The match climaxed with Swagger getting Edge with the Gut-Wrench Powerbomb, and Edge getting the Spear for the win. The in-ring stuff in this match was pretty decent, Edge and Swagger work well together, but without any build-up the crowd really didn’t give a shit, which made the match feel dull and lifeless.
Match rating: **


Match four: John Cena versus Wade Barrett

Much of the drama of this match was diminished from the outside by the aforementioned WCW moment, FFS WWE. On the whole, this was a solid match, Cena and Barrett put on an excellent performance. Early on this match, Cena had Barrett upon his shoulders for the Attitude Adjustment, when Nexus came down the ramp to ring-side. It seems that ‘interference’ must be defined as physically attacking John Cena, this did not happen and Barrett confronted the Nexus. I was hoping at this point that the rest of the Nexus would attack Barrett, therefore disqualifying Cena, but WWE didn’t think to do this, because the match carried on with the Nexi at ringside. The WWE baby-faces then came down to the ring to beat down on Nexus and everyone left.
The crowd were pretty hot for this match, especially when Barrett kicked out of a top-rope Leg Drop and the AA, and Cena kicked out of Wasteland. The climax of the match came when Cena had the STFU locked in and Michael McGillicuddy ran in only to be tackled by the ref. Husky Harris then ran out of the crowd and hit Cena with a weapon whilst the ref’s attention was still on McGillicuddy, Cena was then pinned for the win. During the climax of the match, King and Cole were making out that the guys who came to ring were ‘fans’, though it was really obvious who they were.
I think that the highlight of this match was after the match had finished and the camera cut to some members of the crowd in complete shock. Children and adults alike were in absolute disbelief; I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this since Hogan lost at Wrestlemania VI. Love him or hate him (or as I do, not really give a crap either way), this was a pivotal moment in Cena’s career and probably the WWE for at least the next few months. The repercussions of this match are more important than the match itself, let’s see how WWE play this one.
Match rating: ****


Match five: Divas


Match six: World Heavyweight Championship, Hell in a Cell
Undertaker versus Kane (c)

Hmm, you may as well read my review of the same match for Night of Champions. Watching two old guys relive a feud from over a decade ago using the same move set as each other doesn’t make for interesting TV, especially as Undertaker is clearly hurting these days.
The match had one of the most contrived moments I’ve seen on WWE in years, Taker signalled that it was time to finish and there was a crash of lightning and the lights went out for a moment. Paul Bearer came in with the urn, and just as I was making a joke about green smoke and the urn shenanigans of years past, the urn suddenly flashed and blinded taker allowing Kane to get the win.
I hope to God that this feud is now dead and buried (geddit?).
Match rating *½.


On the whole this was a pretty mediocre PPV which was saved by two matches. The US Championship and the Barrett versus Cena match were the highlights. With WWE advertising Bragging Rights with the Nexus logo on the graphics ruining the impact of Cena losing, the reaction of the crowd meant that it was still a decent match.
PPV rating: ***

Review: WWE Night of Champions

It’s WWE Night of Champions where all 7 titles are up for grabs. I’ve not been following Smackdown, but for the Raw titles, I wanted Danielson to make the Miz tap like a baby and I wanted Wade Barrett to take home the gold.

Let’s do this.

Match one: Intercontinental Championship. Dolph Ziggler versus Kofi Kingstone

As you’d expect this was a solid match, they went through each other’s move set. There was no shenanigans, it was pretty much a clean win with Ziggler getting the Zig Zag. Every time I see Ziggler, he looks more and more like Jeff Jarrett, I keep expecting him to come down to the ring with guitar in hand.
Match rating: ***

Match two: Big Show versus CM Punk

I’m a big fan of CM Punk; the guy is awesome on the mic and amazing in the ring. It has to be said that I’m not a big enough fan to watch Smackdown though. Bring him over to Raw so he can feud with Cena or something. Anyway, this was the second match of Night of Champions, but for some reason it wasn’t a title match. Very bizarre. Before the match Punk came down to the ring and got a real hometown pop from the crowd. Punk did an “I love Chicago” bit then started laying into its residents – this was brilliant.
Luckily this was a pretty short match, it was also pretty dull. Big Show did his usual ‘giant’ thing and tackled Punk to give him his ‘Big Right Hand’. I always thought that a closed fist was grounds for a DQ in wrestling, but I suppose if it has a name then that’s okay... hmm...
Match rating: **

Match three: US title. Bryan Danielson versus the Miz

This match was great. Perfect length, fast-paced, some great submissions, great drama. Miz lost by tapping out and cried like a bitch at the end. I can’t emphasise how much I enjoyed this match and was genuinely happy to see Danielson get the title after all the bullshit of Chokegate (it’s a controversy, you have to put gate at the end, so shut the fuck up). I’m sure this will make it into my top ten matches of the year.
Match rating: ****½

Between the matches there was a great promo by Cena where he seemed to be taking the piss out of all the percentage talk you get on these kind of matches. Just watch it on YouTube if you’ve not seen it.

Match four: Divas... Lumberjills?

Match five: World Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker versus Kane.

This match went on for nearly 20 minutes and bored the hell out of me. Two big, slow guys (one who can barely walk these days); trying to recapture something that had gotten old over a decade ago. Pointless match, which was really painful to watch. I felt really sorry for Taker watching this; he’s just past it now and he’s clearly hurting. They both worked really hard, but it just didn’t feel good.
Kane retained the title, woo.
Match rating: *½

Match six: Tag titles: tag team turmoil.

This was basically a gauntlet match between pretty much all of the tag teams, including, erm, Mark Henry and Evan Bourne. This match was a waste of time, it was dull as hell.
Match rating: *

Match seven: Six pack challenge.

This was a mixed bag. Going into this match I thought that Wade Barrett would be next champion. Even though Randy Orton had been given a massive babyface push over the past few months, I thought him winning would be far too obvious... it was. This being said, there were some surprises: Jericho got eliminated with about a minute, Barrett eliminated Cena, Cena went mental on the Nexus guys with a steel chair. But, unsurprisingly, Orton got the win with the, you guessed it, the RKO. Eugh, I really can’t stand the “if he hits that move, it’s all over” approach, and I really don’t get what people see in Orton.
So with Orton the new champ, I was waiting for the Miz to cash in the Money in the Bank case... didn’t happen. I’m sure it will happen at Hell in a Cell when Orton/Sheamus will no doubt have a rematch... but Miz will lose.
Match rating: ***

Overall this was a solid PPV, there were a few surprises, but nothing major. The Miz and Danielson match was by far the highlight.

PPV rating: ***½

Randy Orton - I don't like you.

I'm absolutely sick of the predictability of WWE and by association, Randy Orton. Everything about him just infuriates me, the guy is dreadful, not a good champion at all. However, the WWE in all of it's wisdom have decided to make him champion and figurehead of the company

He's dull in the ring and dreadful on the mic, he really doesn't deserve yet another push. And yet, they still continue to book him into some decent matches against the likes of Sheamus, John Cena and Edge where he will take everything they throw at him, kick out of all finishers and start punching the floor like a fucking retard.

He'll then suddenly miss with his shitty signature move (the RKO) and then just as suddenly somehow reverse something by turning it into his fuckwitted attempt at a Stone Cold Stunner (an equally shit move) where he can stop the mightiest of foes no matter how fresh they are. It seems to happen on every occasion he graces the screen with his presence (or lack thereof).

As for his theme music, it sounds like the inane ramblings of a 14 year old emo brat whose birthday pony wasn't quite the right shade of chestnut.

Rant over, for now...

Review: WWE Summerslam 2010

Coming into Summerslam, there weren’t really any matches which I was particularly excited about seeing. I was interested to see how the Nexsus angle would pan out during this one, but wasn’t particularly excited about seeing Bret Hart in the ring again. Let’s get to it.

The first match was Kofi Kingston versus Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental title. The match wasn’t bad, Kofi and Dolph work pretty well together. We had a Suicide Dive from Kofi straight into the guard rail as Ziggle was pulled out of the way by Vicky Guerrero. Kofi hit a shockingly bad Thesz Press, and did some pretty lame spots. Just as Ziggler got Kofi into a sleeper hold, Nexus ran in and the match was over. With Ziggler making a sharp exit, Kofi was left to receive a beat down from the Nexus. Barrett cut a promo over the squirming Kofi, suggesting that this was just a taste of what’s to come.

Rating: **

After the Divas match was the Big Show versus the Straight Edge Society. This match was pretty lame. Show came out and removed the tape from his hands, thus invalidating the injury angle (this guy must heal incredibly fast – scientists should do some research on him). There were some pretty cool spots in the match, there was a double Bulldog on Show at one point (which was described as a double DDT by Michael Cole – it clearly wasn’t a DDT). Punk makes a hasty retreat which allows Show to Choke Slam Mercury onto Gallows for a clean win.

Rating: *½

After a pretty decent promo by the Miz, we have the match between Randy Orton and Sheamus for the WWE Championship. I don’t know why, but I really can’t stand Randy Orton. There are much better in-ring technicians than he, and much better people on the mic... but anyway, the match wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t memorable by any stretch of the imagination. The story of this match was that Sheamus was working on Orton’s right shoulder. There seemed to be a lot of basic moves which were given new names (such as the Celtic Hammer, which is actually just a double Axe Handle), which seemed kind of pointless to me. There was a bit of a confusing spot where Sheamus (apparently) reversed an RKO, even though it looked as though Orton hit it. After getting the Irish Curse (AKA the Celtic Cross, AKA the High Cross, AKA The Razor’s Edge) for the two count; Sheamus picked up a chair and accidently bumped the ref. The ref then called for a DQ and therefore Sheamus keeps the title. With the stipulation that if Orton lost he would be sent to the back of the queue, we have a technical win on Orton’s part, but he doesn’t get the title (yet, no doubt).

Rating: **½

Next up was the World Heavyweight Championship with heavyweight Rey Mysterio versus Kane (why Kane is still holding the strap I’ll never know). I wasn’t feeling this one, and I don’t think that the crowd were either. Kane came down to the ring with a casket even though it wasn’t a casket match. The commentary for this match was piss poor. Striker at one point noted that Rey Mysterio’s “Luche Libreness” had come into play, he also noted that the crowd was so subdued because of the gravity of this match, hmm. Kane got the clean win with a Chokeslam and after the count did a few more Chokeslams and a Tombstone. Kane then the opened the casket to reveal... The Undertaker. Wow, nobody saw that one coming, right? Kane put Taker in a Chokeslam and made him look very weak... but he has been in a vegetative state, right? So, wow, we’re going to have another fucking feud between Kane and Undertaker... for the love of God...

Rating: *½

And onto the main event: Nexus versus Team WWE. I didn’t have high hopes for this one, but I’ve got to admit that it was excellently done. John Cena came out with his new colour scheme (shit, that means my orange Cena t-shirt is now out of date, we’ll have to buy the new ones). With Miz bragging that he was the final member of Team WWE, it was up to Cena to reveal who it was: Bryan Danielson. I did not see this coming, I said only a few days ago that “I think that the Bryan Danielson thing could be good if they bring him back as a babyface” – it seems that that’s what WWE have done; though it seems that WWE have kept Danielson’s ‘slave name’. There were some great spots throughout this one, Danielson dominated from the off getting Darren Young to tap to a Crossface variation in less than a minute. There were chants for we want Bret, which struck me as a bit odd: what the fuck is Bret Hart going to do? This guy’s hurting, he’s had a stroke and it’s just a bit sad to see him make a tit of himself the way he did a few months back at Wrestlemania. Luckily, Bret didn’t look too bad, he probably looked better than his WCW days in all honesty, but he’s not “the best there is” anymore. When Bret came back in a few minutes later, Michael Cole said something along the lines of “Bret Hart’s had some big Summerslam moments in his career, but if Team WWE can pull this off, this will be the biggest”... Are you fucking kidding me? Is this bigger than Wembley? Don’t fucking patronise me, Cole. Bret was DQed for using a chair, and to be honest, I think this was possibly the best that Bret has been booked since his return. He didn’t take any bumps, he kind of looked cool and he was dominant throughout his slot. Jericho got in an awesome Lionsault in on this one, he was a babyface during this one, and it was great. He even brought out his line of “you are a stupid man, you are stupid man to Cena” – this was comic genius, not sure if it was meant to be, but it gets me every time. Danielson came back in and kick some more ass. The Miz came out and hit Danielson with MitB case which knocked Bryan out for the pin. Finally, we had Cena versus Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett. Cena did his, ahem, Five Knuckle Shuffle. For those not familiar with British idioms, a Five Knuckle Shuffle is the same a wank (masturbation, taking your cock in your hand and pumping it until happy milk pops out of the little guy). Blah blah. Cena ended up getting the STF on Barrett who tapped out (remember that contrary to MMA, tapping out is the worst/most humiliating thing a person can do when one of their limbs is about to be snapped off). Against all the odds, Cena got the win and everyone was happy. “We win, we win” Striker was saying. Lovely stuff.

Rating: ****

On the whole, this was a very well-booked PPV. A few of the matches were pretty shit, but the last match made up for it. There were some surprises (some more expected than others), but most importantly they’ve got Danielson back (hopefully he’ll be jobbing ob Raw this time next week). Necause of the win, Nexus is pretty much done. It would have worked better had they made Cena tap, but hey, it's all soap opera...

Overall: ***

Nexus Angle Dominating RAW(Is A Good Thing)

Hey guys Chris Wilson here...Back again for RAW 7-26. Now I'm going to say when I heard about the TV-PG thing I said I was going to stop watching the WWE. Well a friend of mine turned me on to the Nexus thing and I started watching again. The WWE has addressed a few things that made it unwatchable for me. Number one I felt that they weren't pushing the young guys. Number two same old people in the main event scene. Number 3 a stable of more than three people(Nexus 7)....just to name a few... I've been into RAW for the last few weeks lets see if that continues......

RAW opens up with a video package showing the actions of the Nexus over the last few weeks. And capping off by showing John Cena forming his dream team. I liked the effects of this video it was in Black and Gold through the Nexus beatdowns. Until Cena walks away and says he has help. The screen turns full color as each member of what Micheal Cole calls the "WWE 7"(so i will just refer to them as that), come out one by one followed by Bret Hart to top it off. The Nexus runs into the stands and the video package ends.. I liked the video package the black and gold effect was cool. They are pushing this Nexus thing to the infinity..... 5 out of 5

So we begin the actual show with John Cena coming out to the ring. He talks about the previous attacks carried out by the Nexus, he names off superstars, Mr. McMahon, Bret Hart, ring announcers, camera men....all the like. He talks about how the RAW superstars stood together and that their biggest goal is making sure the Nexus doesn't gain anymore power, because with power comes influence. Cena continues on about how HIS team will come together to stop the Nexus. (One minor note that the fans in San Antonio didn't seem too fond of Cena during this promo) Jericho comes out and ripped Cena and tried to claim leadership of the RAW team that will compete at SummerSlam against The Nexus. After some back-and-forth bickering, Jericho threatened Cena, to which he replied "take your best shot." The general manager ends up scheduling a tag team match between Jericho and Cena against two wrestlers of his choosing the GM also let Cena/Jericho know that their match against Nexus at SummerSlam would be an elimination match ........Overall decent promo by Cena(not!!!), It actually became entertaining when Jericho came out. I'm feeling another Cena/Jericho feud, I'm going to give this segment a 4 out of 5

So our first match is between Jey Uso(w/Jimmy Uso and Tamina) vs. Randy Orton(#1 Contender for WWE Title). So Sheamus's music hits and he walks down to the announce table and joins Micheal Cole and Jerry Lawler. Weird booking in the ring but a good idea to have Sheamus watching from the annnounce table. Not a very interesting match, but Orton wins via pin fall after hitting an RKO. Not that good of a match in the ring but Sheamus being at ringside added a bit of intrigue..So the booking of this match will get a 3 out of 5.....

Now for the post match segment, Orton turns his attention to Sheamus and gets hit from behind by Jimmy Uso. Orton fights back and Sheamus enters the ring and tries to hit Orton with the Brogue Kick, Orton ducks and Sheamus hits Jimmy Uso with the Brogue Kick and Orton hits Sheamus with an RKO and leaves the ring. The Miz's music hits and he runs to the ring with a referee. He appears to be cashing in the MITB....that is until Randy Orton hits HIM with the RKO(lol) Bell never rang so no match happened. Really good post match segment I actually enjoyed this more than the match, I found it funny that The Miz tried to cash in and got an RKO in return. I give this post-match segment a 5 out of 5

Edge is now back stage talking to Ted DiBiase & Maryse about the SummerSlam match against Nexus. Edge believes that DiBiase should be in the match, and not The Great Khali because he’s big and awkward. DiBiase agrees and says that maybe him winning his match against John Morrison will make Cena believe that he is better than The Great Khali and Morrison. Edge says he may have to force things and take out Khali himself. Ranjin Singh hears this as Edge walks away, and goes to warn Khali. Uh-oh more problems within the "WWE 7"....interesting... This backstage segment gets a 3 out of 5

We come back from commercial Back in the ring, Sheamus & The Miz are arguing nose to nose. An Email comes from the anonymous GM, He makes them the tag team to face Cena & Jericho in the main event. The plot thickens..... two tag-teams who don't want to be partners...not to mention a team of champions...Another match making segment pretty average....so I give it a 3 out of 5...

Next up(note I do not review non-current show video packages) Edge is backstage again on the phone and The Great Khali comes in the room. He's not happy about hearing what Edge said about him, Khali challenges him to a match RIGHT NOW, and Edges denies what he said but makes it that if Khali loses he's out of the "WWE 7". Funny segment especially when the Great Khali comes in (Maryse was right no one can understand what he's saying) I give this backstage segment a 3 out of 5

After the commercial our next match is Edge vs The Great Khali(w/Ranjin Singh) this is good booking. Edge sells moves well and the Great Khali has never been too convincing in the ring to me. In the middle of the match Nexus comes out and Edge heads for the hills(lolz) leaving Khali by himself, The Nexus surrounds Khali. But they let him leave the ring. Match ends in a no contest...The booking of this match gets a 4 out 5, and only because Nexus came out and I thought they were going to attack Khali boy were we all wrong.

Elimination Match Nexus vs. Team Raw(Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry Lawler, DH Smith, Tyson Kidd, Goldust, Mark Henry and Evan Bourne )In an 7 on 7 Elimination Match. Believe it or not intially I was exicited about this match, mainly because I had never seen all of the members of Nexus in an actual match.(except for Wade Barrett) When I saw who they were going up against I was going to say "bad booking" for the first time in this blog. Then when I saw the dominating fashion of the victory and the UNITY shown by the Nexus I changed my mind... and even more with the problems the "WWE 7" have been having so far....GOOD BOOKING!!! A total spot fest in the clean sweep by the Nexus....I give this match a 4 out of 5.

Post match, Nexus destroys Bourne capped off by the Justin Gabriel 450 Splash.
Barrett then takes a mic(as usual) and he says that Cena's team are showing cracks because of their massive egos.Sheffield adds that Cena’s team is working as individuals, while are working for the betterment of the group.Tarver adds that he hopes that at SummerSlam it turns out just like tonight, but Cena’s the last one remaining so that they can destroy him. I liked this segment because Wade Barrett wasn't the only one who spoke for once.....Uhhh Sheffield should stay away from the mic...Tarver I was pretty impressed with... This post match promo gets a 5 out of 5.

In our next backstage segment, The Miz is sitting around stewing over what happened earlier. Sheamus busts into the locker room and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can win the WWE Title, Sheamus tells him to name the time and place, and he’ll leave The Miz black & blue.The Miz says “How about tonight, immediately after we face Cena/Jericho… I cash it in, hit the Skull Crushing Finale, and become WWE Champion…” Sheamus replies, “You keep pushing me, I’m going to make you regret it!” Knocks the MITB case out of Miz’s hands. Another entertaining backstage segment despite my fears The Miz is a great Mr Money In The Bank..At least he's trying right?? 4 out of 5

Our next match is Alicia Fox vs Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella) lol I won't say bad booking because it seems the WWE is still trying to legitimize Alicia Fox, hell the match was so short I went to go get a drink and I missed Jillian Hall stop the Bella's from making a switch. In fact when I came back Alicia was already hitting the Scissors Kick(Darn Divas matches).... 2 minute match = 2 out of 5



Post match, Jillian goes to celebrate Alicia’s win with a song, and gets hit with a Scissors Kick for her trouble. LOL that post match segment was just as long as the match but funnier....a 3 out of 5

We return from commercial and R-Truth is out rapping his theme, and he heads to the announce table. Our next match is John Morrison vs. Ted DiBiase(w/Maryse) Mid match, Morrison sets up for Star Ship Pain when Maryse jumps on apron as distraction. DiBiase rolls up Morrison with his feet on the ropes, but R-Truth pushes his feet off. DiBiase argues with Truth, and avoids getting hit from behind by catching John Morrison with a drop toe hold. Morrison’s momentum has him collide head-to-head with Truth. DiBiase gets the win. Nicely booked match I thought Morrison's feud with DiBiase would be forgotten after him joining the "WWE 7" but I guess I wrong...The booking of this match gets a 4 out of 5.

Our next Post-Match segment features Morrison and R-Truth arguing about what happened.John Cena is shown backstage looking disappointed that his team’s falling apart....I have to say these post-match segments are getting good. As well I'm impressed that the Nexus/WWE 7 angle are tying into these matches.... 4 out of 5

The next backstage segment features Josh Matthews and Randy Orton. Josh Matthews is with Randy Orton and asks about how he RKO’d the Miz earlier, and if that means he’d rather face Sheamus for the WWE Title. Orton says that he RKO’d both men tonight, which means that he doesn’t care who he faces at SummerSlam....Pretty late to ask Orton about his actions, but when you think about it Sheamus and the Miz are in action next....3 out 5 Pretty average backstage segment...

OKAY the main event The Miz(WWE US Champion) and Sheamus(WWE Champion) vs. John Cena and Chris Jericho. I have got to say I like the names in this match and the two angles involved. You've got The Miz who is Mr. Money In The Bank, who seems to be living up to his word of being Sheamus's "Celebrity Stalker". Then you have John Cena and Chris Jericho, two members of the obviously disfuctional "WWE 7" to me you have two feuds booked in one match, with the people feuding with each other on the same team....GREAT BOOKING Anonymous GM.... As the match started Cena and Jericho didn't seem to be very cohesive as the match went on they began to start working as a team....You could even hear Cena cheering on Jericho when Sheamus had him in a submission hold. Alas The Miz pinned Cena(yea thats right The Miz pinned Cena) after Jericho turned on Cena and hit him with the CodeBreaker(lol). I liked the booking off this match alot...didn't expect Jericho to turn on Cena(well maybe I did). I give the booking of this match a 4 out of 5.

In our last post-match segment.... Jericho puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho but Cena reverses it into the STFU. The Great Khali comes out to stop Cena, and Edge spears him. The rest of the "WWE 7"(excluding Bret Hart) all come out to the ring to argue. Khali gets pissed and chops John Morrison & Edge in the head(so many lolz in this show) A good way to the show they were playing on the trouble within the WWE 7 so it was good that the Nexus didn't intervene.... 4 out of 5....I think we have trouble in paradise guys....

Well another good RAW I'm really impressed with this Nexus storyline...We may be on the heels of something big...But in the past I don't get my hopes up on the WWE culminating their storylines....time will tell...see you guys for my booking review for TNA Impact and hopefully just hopefully I can catch SmackDown and cover all three major shows.

RAW's Booking picking up steam

Hey everyone Chris Wilson here, but for now you can just call me TiTan. I just got back into watching the WWE just recently and there's no better way to start off my week than with RAW. Now remember guys i'm not rating the matches i'm rating the booking and the segments/promos involved in the show.



I'm rating from 1 to 5, 1 being boring , 2 being lackluster, 3 being average, 4 entertaining, and 5 being must watch.





Let's start off with Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho, Coming out of the MITB PPV this a good match to start off with. These three are obviously top contenders for the WWE Title(mainly because Cena is tied up with the Nexus angle). Good to determine a new #1 contender at the beggining of the show while playing into Edge and Jericho's feud, while giving the crowd endless reasons to mark for Orton early in the show. I was surprised to see this first being that the Nexus angle seems to be dominating RAW right now. But all in all good way to start the show. So I give the booking of Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho a 4 out of 5.



When we return from commercial, Edge is in the ring demanding that Jericho come back out to the ring. The two jaw at each other for a minute, and i'm thinking they are going to go at it at SummerSlam.....Then Jericho mentions Nexus and then it got interesting, Jericho? Leader of the Nexus??? Enter the Nexus and with the snap of a finger my interest returns. Wade Barrett speaks and of course they quickly jump on Edge, lolz at Jericho cheering them on. Wade Barrett speaks again berating Jericho for claiming their own and they quickly jump on him as well. Nice way of tying the Nexus angle into the Jericho/Edge feud, And an even better way of separating Barrett from his pro. Its a breath of fresh air from the "usual" random Nexus attacks. I say i'll give that segment a 4 out of 5 and later on I'll tell you why.



When we return once again The Nexus are heading into their locker room and Barrett is approached by Josh Matthews. Matthews questions if any individual in Nexus can beat Mark Henry, Barrett quickly says Henry is quaking in his boots and that he will write a new chapter in WWE history. As Barrett tries to enter the locker room again he is approached by Sheamus and Sheamus offers a proposal, Barrett offers for him to step into his office, Sheamus quickly decides to wait outside. I have to say didn't like the placement of this segment I thought a match should have been in this spot so I give the Nexus/Sheamus/Matthews segment a 3 out of 5



When we come back again we are joined by John Cena on the Titantron.....hey WWE where are the matches at? anyway Cena ends his interview through titantron by saying if you can' beat em.... and we are off to another commercial. I understand pushing the Nexus angle but a Titantron interview.....2 out of 5



Finally another match.. Eve Torres vs Maryse with the winner becoming #1 contender to the Divas Title....Although the match was short, booking these two is an awesome idea and it had some intrigue going into it if you pay attention to the Divas. So I give the booking of this match a 4 out of 5

Post match Ted DiBiase storms into the ring and yells at the referee for not noticing Maryse's foot on the ropes. John Morrison runs out in street clothes(good to see him) and delivers imo a nearly botched StarShip Pain. Good way to remind us of this mid-card feud by giving Morrison camera time after a very short Diva match. But I give that segment a 3 out of 5

Next up is our current WWE Champion Sheamus coming out and bragging of his dominance over John Cena. Again another Nexus mention comes about when he mentions that him and Wade Barrett agreed to stay out of his way. Miz interrupts and the entertainment value of this promo/segment goes up as The Miz is Mr Money In The Bank, all the while Sheamus says The Miz is nothing and he is the WWE Champion and promptly leaves the ring. As he is leaving the GM sends an email saying Sheamus will be in action. Good segment, intrigue added by Mr. Money in the Bank making an appearance making us think he would cash in...... 4 out of 5

Sheamus is immediately put into action against Evan Bourne. It's always good to see Evan Bourne's high flying antics in action so I wasn't complaining. Obviously a filler match was saved by good booking as the WWE Champion kicked Bourne in the ribs out of the refs view and the hits him with the Brouge Kick to finish the match. 4 out of 5.

A nicely booked match was followed by an even more entertaining post-match segment. The Miz is sarcastically clapping for Sheamus as he gets into the ring. The Miz whacks Sheamus with the MITB breifcase while he wasn't looking. As he was waiting for Sheamus to get up(and i'm thinking he's gonna cash in) R-Truth returns and chases The Miz off. Only a 5 out of 5 because of The Miz's possible cash in and the return of a superstar that I thought would be out longer??

The Miz is now back stage flipping out over R-Truth costing him a shot at cashing in his MITB oppurtunity. 3 out of 5

Next Sheamus is walking backstage with ice on his head and he runs into "The Viper" Randy Orton. Orton tells him that its too bad what happened and that Sheamus is a target now, and that he won't hit with an arrow but with an R.....K......O......... 4 out of 5

Next is Santino and Koslov vs William Regal and Zack Ryder, I can see that the WWE is trying to put over the tag team of Santino and Koslove right now. Although they could be battling any other team, I like the fact that Zack Ryder was booked in this match because you don't see him too much on RAW these days. The booking of this match gets a 3 out of 5.

Next is Wade Barrett vs Mark Henry now this is not main event material so excellent booking to put it at the point of the show where there could be room for a final segment heavily involving the Nexus angle. Henry gets distracted by Nexus who is standing on the stage before the entrance ramp(good play on Henry being distracted because of a possible attack) and Barrett(barely) hits The Wasteland and pins Henry for the victory....I like the placement of this match being that it wouldn't have been possible for Cena's summit with Nexus to occur before it..... 4 out of 5

Barrett continues to attack Henry as the rest of Nexus makes their way to the ring. Barrett calls out Cena. Tarver gets on the mic and say they have made one truce already and Nexus gives their word that they will listen to what Cena has to say. Cena comes out and thanks them for meeting with him and offers a truce as Sheamus did earlier. Barrett answers no and proposes something bigger....and that is that Cena joins Nexus. Cena declines and Barrett tells him he can either leave a coward or get into the ring and take the most vicious beating he can imagine. Cena leaves the ring and states that he has help now as Edge, John Morrison, R-Truth, The Great Khali, and Chris Jericho make their way out and Cena say's there's one more to go and it's BRET HART and they all make their way to the ring as Nexus bails out. Nexus gets high up into the stands as Cena and his team yell at Nexus from the ring. Excellent segment to end a nicely booked show as no matter what most of the faces and Edge and Jericho were through out the show heavily pusing the Nexus angle....hell I thought Cena would join Nexus....5 out of 5

See you guys in a few days for my review of the booking and segments for TNA Impact......

Review: WWE Money in the Bank PPV, 18th July

The WWE has decided that all of its non-‘big four’ PPVs should now be named after lame gimmicks, it would seem. We’ve had TLC, Elimination Chamber, Extreme Rules, Fatal Four Way and now we have Money in the Bank.

The Money in the Bank gimmick came in to WWE in about 2005 (I’m sure someone will correct me on this), and has done no end of damage to the integrity of the championship titles. Indeed, not only did the WWE decide to have two championship belts, they also decided that any mid-carder who needs a quick push can win the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania. What has made the Money in the Bank gimmick so interesting in the past, however, is that it brings together the wrestlers from Raw and Smackdown, and allows the winner to cash in on either brand (as Jack Swagger did with his move over to Smackdown). With two (yes two) MiB matches (one for each brand) the value of the gimmick and the value of the belts has been further diluted.

At the beginning of MiB, we were shown one of the most dangerous things in professional wrestling. No, I’m not talking about Hell in a Cell or the Elimination Chamber, and I’m not talking about barbed wire ropes or exploding turn buckles: I’m referring, of course, to the Spanish announce table. I think I’ve said before that WWE has lost any sense of subtlety in its storytelling and in its matches, if I haven’t, I’ve certainly thought it. It’s almost as if WWE management went: “Right, we need to do a spot where someone goes through the Spanish announce table,” the board members look on blankly, another one chirps up: “I’m not sure our demographic know what a Spanish announce table is, and I’m not sure they could picture such a thing.” And so they show, for those fans who can’t picture what an announce table looks like with people commentating in Spanish rather than English.

First up was the Smackdown MiB match. We had Dolph Ziggler, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Kane, The Big Show, Matt Hardy and Drew McIntyre in what was actually a well-booked match... until the end that is. Unlike most recent WWE PPVs, the crowd were really into this one, and the crowd were hot for this match in particular. The match started with most of the guys beating on Show, even though when he tried to climb a ladder it broke. Christian and Hardy did some great stuff on top the ladders, reminiscent of some of their matches back in their tag team days. Kofi did a really cool Leg Drop from the top of ladder, onto Drew McIntyre who was spread out on... the Spanish announce table, woo! With Show unable to climb a regular ladder, he went under the ring to pull out a big ladder made of ‘reinforced steel’ – this thing looked heavy, this thing looked so heavy in fact that Show could hardly lift it into the ring, if you missed it I’m sure it will be on the next Botchamania. Indeed, the Big Show’s frustration was clearly evidenced when the words ‘fuck me’ left his lips. Naughty Big Show, that’s not very PG now, is it? Then came what was probably the highlight of the match for me, Show got thrown out of the ring and the rest of the wrestlers came over and buried him in a pile of ladders. I’m not sure if it was meant to be funny, but I was pissing myself. It reminded me of that ECW thing were the crowd were throwing the chairs. Awesome. Then came the ending... Kane won. Fucking Kane. Easily the worst guy possible to win this won. What the fuck?

Next up was the Divas. Don’t care. Enough time to put the kettle on.

The next match was the Hart Dynasty versus the Uzos for the tag titles. To be honest, I’m not sold on either team in this one and really didn’t care what the result was, it seemed the crowd agreed with this sentiment. The match ended with Davey Hart Smith doing the Sharpshooter (why not a Bulldog?) for the win. Pretty dull match, but luckily it was only 6 minutes long.

Next up was Rey Mysterio versus Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Title. Hang on, Kurt Angle? Lets work this out carefully: Amateur style ring attire? Check. Ankle Lock? Check. All-American gimmick? Check. That sounds like Kurt Angle to me! But wait, it’s Jack Swagger, not Kurt Angle... my mistake. Anyway, this match was pretty decent. Rey was selling an injured ankle throughout the match, which made him change his style. There were some pretty cool spots in the one like Rey getting Swagger with the Lou Thez Press of the top rope and Rey countering a superplex into a DDT for a near fall. The match culminated in Angle, sorry, Swagger getting Mysterio into an Ankle Lock. After squirming for a few moments, Rey shimmied out of his boot and took Swagger down with a Hurricianrama for the pin. This was not the end for Swagger though, he went back to work on Rey’s ankle, and Kane ran in for the save and chased Swagger to the locker-room. With Mysterio still reeling in the ring, who should return the ring but Kane, MiB briefcase in hand and cashed it in. Kane quickly worked on Rey’s ankle, put him in a Tombstone and got the pin. For fuck’s sake. That’s right, Kane, yes Kane, is now the World Heavyweight Champion. I predict, hmm, Undertaker getting the title, hmm, at Summerslam, hmm, 12 year old feud gets reignited, hmm, fans don’t care. I would care if they brought back Paul Bearer to fuck around with the Undertakers head a bit though. So let’s get this straight: rather than using this opportunity to get a young guy over, they use it to reignite a feud which has been done, four, maybe five times before, which doesn’t even need a title to establish a match... for fuck’s sake.

Another Divas match, but this time I made the mistake of watching it. Oh dear, this was bad. This was Rob Terry doing Lucha Libre bad. This was Warrior verus Hercules bad. Kelly Kelly versus Layla could go down in history as the worst thing to ever appear on a PPV. Now don’t get me wrong, Layla is hot, but God damn it, this is a wrestling show. If I wanted to watch hot girls wrestle I’d... anyway...

Next up was the Raw MiB match with Randy Orton, Miz, Mark Henry, John Morrison, Jericho, Ted Dibiase, Edge and Evan Bourne. This was actually an excellent match, and the ending was so much better than the Smackdown MiB match. There were some really good spots during this match, probably too many to go into. There was one where two guys were each on a ladder and Mark Henry came in between them and sent them flying. The commentator said something dumb along the lines of “It’s Hercules parting the Red Sea!” Because Hercules and Moses are the same, you fucking moron. Everyone seemed to get in their signature moves and Morrison did some great acrobatics between ladders before getting socked by the Miz and Edge. The worst bit of the match came when DiBiase’s lady Virgil, Maryse came in to try and grab the case for DiBiase. Morrison then fireman’s lifted her away. The ending came with a battle on the ladder between Orton and Miz with Miz unhooking the case and giving a pretty decent promo afterwards. I really wanted Miz to win this, the MiB suits an up and coming heel, but I want Miz to be the first person to cash in his case and not get the belt.

Finally, the main event was Cena versus Seamus in a cage match for the WWE title. This match had some really dumb moments. There was one where Seamus put Cena into a Sleeper Hold, with his last few breaths, Cena started Hulking up, brother. With the Sleeper Hold still tightly in place, Cena started to climb out of the cage with Seamus on his back. For fuck’s sake. Like a lot of cage matches, this one also had a number of opportunities when either competitor could get a clean win and simply escape the cage, but would rather do some spots instead. For fuck’s sake. The match went on, both did their finishers and then the NXTWo came in, bolt cutters in hand, no doubt to break into the cage and mess up the match. A little old referee came over to try and stop them and snatched the bolt cutters and made a hasty exit. Remember that this group had beaten up most of the roster, had beaten up management and had beat up legends, but it was a little referee who got the better of them. For fuck’s sake. The NXTWo then demanded that a referee gave them the key to the cage. Obviously having watched the Angle versus Anderson cage match on TNA, the ref threw the key into the crowd, and again a little ref got the better of the NXTWo. The climax to the match came when the ref in the ring got bumped and Cena got Seamus to tap out to the STF. With the ref out, Cena attempted to climb out, but Justin Gabriel of the NXTWo climbed the outside and started fighting with Cena. Meanwhile, that sneaky Irish heel managed to climb out and get the win. Seamus then legged it into the crowd.

Overall, this was a pretty good PPV. Both of the MiB matches were very good, the Swagger versus Mysterio match was also pretty decent, the Divas match I saw was bad as they come, and the main event was also pretty good. This is probably the best PPV WWE have put on this year.

Ratings:

Smackdown MiB:
***1/2

Harts versus Uzos
*

Mysterio versus Swagger
***

Kelly Kelly versus Layla
Minus *****

Raw MiB
****

Cena versus Seamus
***

PPV Rating:
***1/2

Greatest Moves Ever - The Pedigree

Triple H isn't a bad wrestler, can be good on the mic and has a lot of power. The Pedigree however is one of the nastiest finishers around, I'm sure it won't be long until the ultra bland WWE bans it.

The first video shows how it looks, and it's good because it's against the very dull John Cena!


The second shows when it doesn't quite go according to plan...

Review: WWE Raw, 3rd May

I'll admit it, I'm niave. I thought for some strange reason that the draft would shake up Raw and make into a great product. Instead, it was predictable and boring.

The night opened with number one contender Batista coming out to talk to the crowd about being number one contender (again), he talked some more, and some more. Sheamus came out and they talked... and talked some more.

It was announced that Batista would fight the Miz and Cena would fight Jericho in a time limit match. The one who pinned their opponent in the fastest time got to pick the stipulation of the championship match at the next PPV.

After what seemed like an eternity, the Miz came out to have his match with Batista, but instead of the Miz he decided to put in "rookie" Brian Danielson. Then Batista talked about more. Batista's boring enough as it is, without having to put up with 15 minutes of him talking shit (no kidding, and this is without adverts). I think Danielson is a great wrestler and although he jobbed for Batista he put on a decent match which was ruined to some extent by bad announcing, talking about him as he'd only been wrestling a few months. Batista then did a whole bunch of Batista Bombs on Danielson for some reason. 25 minutes in, 5 minutes of match time.

 

There was a backstage slot with Edge talking about how the WWE won't show any of his old promos or matches because he's Rated R and Raw is rated PG. He returned later in the night with the Cutting Edge which he promised would be controversial and rated R... it was neither.

Next we had a match between John Morrison and Ted Diabose coming in off the back of Diabose offering R Truth a job as the new Virgil. The match was a predictable set-up for Morrison as a face. The match ended within about a minute with Dibiose being counted out. Morrison took the mic and invited Dibiose back to the ring explaining that he didn't want his Raw debut to end like that and said that if he lost he would be the new Virgil. I think Dibiase should have walked back to the locker room at this point, making Morrison look like a prick. But as Morrison is blatently being pushed as the next Shawn Michaels, Dibiase gets back in the ring. The match was fantastic, easily on the level of a Kurt Angle main event; a match full of drama with both athletes pushing their bodies to the limit. The match ended with Morrison tapping out to a Million Dollar Dream and Morrison conceded defeat and agreed to become the new Virgil... oh wait, that didn't happen. Morrison predictably won in a mediocre 4 minute match. 40 minutes in, total 10 minutes of match time.

Next up we have Cena versus Jericho. Jericho wouldn't do the same thing as the Miz and bring his rookie Wade Bennett out for the match instead would he? Oh, he would... for fuck's sake. Again, after some dull mic work, Wade jobs for Cena with a tap-out in 4 minutes. 50 minutes in, total 14 minutes of match time. The Sheamus comes in a hits Cena; God this guys really starting to piss me off fella.

Then there was a match between Jack Rider and Mark Henry, does anyone really care about this one. Bad match with two awful wrestlers. 3 minutes wasted. 1 hours 3 minutes in, 17 minutes of match time.

Cut to a promo with the Miz and Jericho becoming a tag team and sitting on a tag match between the Hart Dynasty and that Russian jobber and William Regal. In an upset... there was no upset, Hart Dynasty won in under 4 minutes. With the Miz and Jericho on the announce table for the this, I was suprised at the end of the match when they confirmed their intention to form a tag team, and the beat on the Hart Dynasty. 1 hour 13 minutes in, 21 minutes of match time.



I figured that with the Miz and Jericho teaming up they should pick a name which is a combination of both of their names. I think Jiz is the only name that works.

So the finale of the night, the rated R, controversial talk show with Edge. It was a tame cheap pop mic spot with the guest host (can't remember his name, don't care) and then a bit with Randy Orton. Edge suggested reforming Rated RKO. Orton just stood there. Edge started calling Orton naughty names (but not that naughty). Orton just stood there, Edge went for a spear and Orton did an RKO. Randy Orton? Randy Boreton, more like. This was another dull 15 minute segment which didn't really go anywhere.

WWE Raw: 21 minutes of match time. This is wrestling?

WWE Extreme Rules 2010

With irs somewhat misleading title, Extreme Rules was anything but extreme. Maybe its because i've been watching Mick Foley's Greatest Hits and Misses, but watching Extreme Rules reminded me how tame WWE has got over the past few years.
The event opened with what was meant to be Sheamus versus Triple H in a street fight. Triple H was attacked from behind on the way to the ring, then an injured Triple H was sent to the trainers office to receive medical attention. Initially I thought that WWE didn't really have time/want to do the match, but when you have an announcer talking about the grave condition of the wrestler, you know that against all odds, the match will happen later on... and it did, and it sucked. Triple H storming out of the medical ofice was about as unexpected as R-Truth asking the crowd 'Wassup?'. The match was flat and Sheamus won.
So with the match between Sheamus and Triple H being postponed, Show Miz entered to cut a promo about being the greatest tag-team. Teddy Long came out put them in a gauntlet match against three other tag teams for a title shot. By this point we were over 10 minutes into the PPV and still hadn't seen any in-ring wrestling. It felt more like an expisode of Smackdown than a PPV, poor show.
So first we have R Truth and John Morrison. I really can't stand either of these two, so I was glad to see them get their asses kicked (although they did lose due to a DQ rather than a pin). R Truth annoys me for a number of reasons, apart from being a recycled Booker T, his rap is just rubbish and he always gets a cheap pop of the crowd. I know I've already mentioned Mick Foley, but remember when he was the commissioner on Raw and he always used to get a cheap pop by mentioning the place name and sticking his thumb up, knowing full well that it was an ironic cheap pop. R Truth does the same thing, but doesn't get the joke. John Morrison is just a pretty boy pouty prick, he's not bad in the ring, but he's not great. He looks like Val Kilmer when he played Jim Morrison and dresses like a bad Ric Flair parody.
Next up was the most boring fat fuck of a wrestler Mark Henry accompanied by MVP. I seem to remember that MVP was pretty good a few years ago, but Mark Henry has never been good, he's fet and he shouldn't wear that tight disgusting leotard. They were quickly beaten.
Next we have the Hart Dynasty. I always think it's a bit sad when you see the kids of wrestlers becoming wrestlers; it's like they've allowed a choice that their father/grandfather made before they were born to determine the path of their own lives. This being said, they're pretty good in the ring and they are obviously set to be the next tag team champions (something was probably written into Bret Hart's contract to give them a push). They obviously won. The one thing that disturbs me about the Hart Dynasty is Reinhart's daughter. She looks like she has been transported from the late 80s with her big hair and camel toe leggings. There's being nostalgic and just being dated.
Throughout the three matches, the commentary was really stilted and arkward. I remember when Jerry Lawler was a great commentator, what happened with that?
Next we had the Punk/Mysterio hair cut match. Again this match was nothing special. Punk was set up for a few 619s, most of which didn't connect - like all of their other matches. The only interesting part of the match was when a hooded figure appeared from beneath the ring to take out Mysterio. Contrary to the laws of logic and physics, CM Punk actually won the match, which actually suprised me. Punk's the best heel that WWE has had for a long time, and when he say smuggly in the barber shop chair at the the end of the match, that was pretty cool.
The next match was Swagger versus Orton. This match was, on the whole, pretty entertaining. Although Orton ruined a Shakira video for me, he's got great ring psychology (there's bit in the She Wolf video where Shakira does that weird shoulder thing that Orton does, didn't really want to be reminded of that while enjoying Shakira).
For a no DQ match, most of the match was pretty standard in-ring grappling. The highlight was when Orton stomped on Swagger's head; it almost looked like he really him as well! Orton then sets up a chair in the ring to RKO Swagger though it, Swagger counters and Powerbombs Orton to win. I was hoping the Orton would win because he's feuded with pretty much everyone on Raw, would have been good to see him move to Smackdown.
The main event was for the WWE Championship, a Last Man Standing match between Cena and Batista. The match, again, wasn't great, but did have some pretty good moments: Cena using the Attitude Adjustment to put Batista through the announce table; Batista using a Spine Buster on Cena to put him through a table; Batista trying to tap out of the STF and then passing out... only to get up at 9. The highlight was at the end of the match when Cena taped Batistas legs around a ring post so he couldn't get up. This was an innovative and smart way to end the match and was the high point of a pretty mediocre PPV without any real upsets or title changes (think the Divas title might have changed, but I was making some food when the match was on).