Smackdown time :)

LETS DO THIS

- Randy Orton v Mark Henry tonight! Fucking yay, match of the year

- Starting with Christian in the ring...nice. A lot of wrestling shows could stand to actually start with a match

- Christian v Sheamus? Could be pretty decent

- Orton interrupting the post match beatdown again

- Did they really put Big Show v HHH from god knows when in the middle of Smackdown, or is the guy who uploaded the show playing silly buggers?

- Maybe someone got hurt, or did a shoot or something in that spot and they put the match there to fill the time?

- Including the 'Vault' thingie, and the Cena promo, that was like 20 minutes of nothing relevant whatsoever...better than 75 minutes + over at TNA, but still WTF

- And then a rundown of the PPV matches...this is like 25 minutes now, a quarter of the fucking show

- I've never been more happy to see Todd Grisham

- OH LOOK ANOTHER FUCKING REPLAY (but this time it's Kong so it's ok)

- Divas FUCK YES ANOTHER FUCKING KONG RUN IN ON THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS

- No Kong? WHAT THE FUCK

- Zeke promo...what

- Clearly went to the same promo school as Matt Morgan

- Kane, Show and Zeke v Corre...I knew it was only a matter of time

- Chavo talking shit about Sin Cara again...I think he's serious this time

- Chavo v Daniel Bryan, Chavo promising to beat him in under 5 minutes...I was really hoping Bryan would do better on Smackdown, but they seem to have him as a generic jobber :/

- Not a bad match actually.

- Ted DiBiase coming out with Cody Rhodes? Weren't they feuding last week?

- Weird promo...DiBiase with a bag on his head, talking in a Mexican accent, no explanation whatsoever

- Trent Baretta...kinda digging his music tbh

- Destroyed in about a minute or so

- Pointless Khali match

Pretty boring Smackdown too :/ Hopefully there'll be a ton of drama at the PPV to liven things up a little...

May 13th Smackdown

This Smackdown is all about Kong and the Christian angle for me.

LETS DO THIS

- Here comes Christian :)
- Rematch at the PPV...if last week's match was anything to go by, it could be the match of the night.
- Sheamus coming out to interrupt Christian...I'd rather see Danielson tbh
- "...the Dubyaubya universe..." Good work, Sheamus
- Sheamus v Christian :D This could be fucking awesome
- And Mark Henry comes out again :/
- Mark Henry & Sheamus in a handicap match v Christian...Orton with the save...What is going on
- Main event is gonna be a tag match with those 4...could be pretty decent, 3/4 of them are great.
- Chavo starting shit with Sin Cara again...Sin Cara is fucking awesome...his music is a bit 'world music'-y, could use a bit more energy, but in the ring he's great
- FUCK YEAH SIN CARA v DANIEL FUCKING BRYAN IF BRYAN WASN'T CLEARLY GONNA JUST JOB TO HIM THIS WOULD BE AWESOME
- Pretty good match actually, less one-sided than I was expecting...Chavo completely ruined it on the commentary though. I'd love it to lead to an awesome PPV match...and I still love that Aeon Flux
- Sin Cara pushes Chavo after the match for the interference...a feud is clearly brewing, I kinda wish they'd just get into it
- I completely forgot about the Corre
- DIVAS OH FUCK YES KONG IS GOING TO SMASH YOUR FUCKING SKULL INTO THE MAT
- COLE INTERRUPTING THE DIVAS KONG IS GOING TO DECAPITATE COLE AND PUNT HIS HEAD INTO THE CROWD FUCK YEAH
- LESS TALK MORE KONG
- "...crawl back into your glass house like a little puppy..." What does that even mean...Puppies don't live in glass houses, or crawl...what in the fuck is she talking about
- FUCK YES ITS FUCKING KONG TIME NOW MOTHERFUCKERS COLE YOU ARE DEAD
- WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING LAYLA COLE IS RIGHT THERE KILL HIM FOR FUCKS SAKE
- NOW ITS ON COLE YOUR PLASTIC BOX WONT SAVE YOU
- Cole survived...but he looks like he's about to start crying
- Wade Barrett v Kane...I'm sure Zeke'll batter the entire Corre at some point, probably team up with Show and Kane for a 6 man tag at the PPV or something
- Beatdowns are so fucking boing
- Zeke comes out, takes out the 2 little guys whose names I can't remember, Barrett fluffs a big boot, Zeke sells it anyway, gets up, batters them all again, gets battered, left lying in the middle of the ring...one of the most pointless run-ins I've ever seen
- The Khali kiss cam is back...fast forwarding
- Ted DiBiase...I'd completely forgotten about him
- CODY FUCKING RHODES WITH A MICROPHONE FUCK YEAH
- Standard Cody promo. So, fucking awesome, then
- "Let's go and 'make some more statements'" - What you three get up to in the locker room is your business, Wade
- Main event time
- Pretty decent match, Christian got battered for most of it but came away with the pin

Decent Smackdown, I was disappointed Cole escaped from Kong (I really ought to get used to calling her Kharma, but Kong sounds so much better), but apart from that and the kiss cam, good stuff all round.

Smackdown May 5th

After this week's RAW, I hope we get a decent Smackdown at least. Christian's the champ and Kong might show up, so how bad can it be?

LET'S DO THIS

- 'Push Zack Ryder' sign in the audience
- Sharks circling in the water already...Mark Henry coming out to interrupt Christian...you know that belt's not staying with him for long...
- Khali coming out too...this is starting to look like a very weird episode of Oz
- Did Khali just call Christian 'Kitchen'?
- Randy Orton...I think that's checkmate for Christian :/
- Teddy Long...he's so...fucking annoying...he pauses...every two...words. I wish...he'd just...talk normally.
- Teddy just called Christian 'Kristen'...nobody can say his fucking name
- Christian v Orton tonight :( I guess a one-week title reign is better than no title reign, right? Shame he didn't get to keep hold of it till the PPV though
- SHEAMUS v DANIEL BRYAN FUCK YEAH KILL HIM BRYAN
- I hope this match is revenge for Daniel Bryan, the last two matches they've had Sheamus dominated
- Sheamus dominating again...I hope this'll mean a miracle comeback
- Ridiculous missile dropkick from Daniel Bryan
- Sheamus countered a suicide dive with a big boot...it's all over :( Still, closest match yet...Bryan nearly had him with a submission...
- CODY FUCKING RHODES FUCK YEAH
- "I forced Rey Mysterio to expose himself"...let's just stick to talking about wrestling, eh?
- Standard Cody promo...but a standard Cody promo is fucking awesome so I'm not complaining
- Big Show v Ezekiel Jackson...first Zeke singles match I've seen...don't see him getting through Show though
- He not only beat him, but he actually looked pretty impressive doing it
- 7 minute replay of Rock's birthday on RAW...that was a lot of fast forwarding
- DIVAS FUCK YEAH KONG'S GONNA KILL YOU
- HERE COMES KONG YOU FUCKING DEAD NOW
- Sin Cara v Tyson Kidd...who the fuck is Tyson Kidd? His hair is fucking awful
- Oh I remember, he's one of the Hard Dynasty guys
- Sin Cara wins with the Aeon Flux...I fucking LOVE that move...He's quickly becoming one of my favourite guys in WWE, I love the luchadore style
- WWE promoting anti-bullying, after the way they treated that 'Skidmarks' guy on Tough Enough? They called him 'Skidmarks' from day one, they were constantly berating him for minor things, they prevented him from training because he stumbled stepping into the ring, and Booker assaulted him in front of all the other contestants...fucking hypocrites, for real
- Main event time...LETS GO CHRISTIAN (even though you're obviously going to lose)
- New champ :( I like Orton, but it sucks for Christian to lose the belt so soon. Really good match though.

Pretty cool Smackdown, way better than RAW

Smackdown April 29th 2011

Watching this with my girlfriend who doesn't watch wrestling, so this should either be the funniest or the most annoying Smackdown ever...we'll see.

LETS DO THIS

- Mark Henry v Rey...it'll be like watching a gorilla fight a stickman
- I still think Orton's stubble might mean a heel turn
- Drew McIntyre interrupting Randy Orton? It's like he wants his teeth pushed down his throat
- This promo is awesome...every time Orton tries to talk, someone comes to the ring to get battered...I'm cracking up
- Del Rio not making the rookie mistake of getting in the ring with him
- Only 3-on-one? This is Orton ffs
- Sheamus v Kofi
- Oh my god, JR really did a number on Michael Cole...his face looks awful
- I like Swagger's music
- Sin Cara v Swagger? They're actually giving him a real opponent? This is interesting
- This match is awesome
- Sin Cara won...despite the fact that one of Swagger's flailing legs hit the bottom rop while he was being pinned...cool match though
- More Kong teasers...JUST PUT HER ON THE FUCKING SHOW ALREADY
- Time for Corre's rematch...guessing they might actually get the belts what with Show going to Raw
- Nope, Show and Kane retain
- Khali on the screen...girlfriend goes 'What's that?'
- Rey v Mark Henry time...this is gonna be ridiculous
- Cool match...Henry was destroying Rey, but Rey has Luchador Invincibility and he didn't seem to give a shit...but then Cody came out to batter Rey and got the DQ
- Cody paper bagging people like he's the Beautiful People from 3 or 4 years ago
- Lay v Cool...
- Double count out in about 15 seconds
- Main event time
- Pretty standard tag match with no real surprises...but executed flawlessly.

Pretty decent Smackdown...Sin Cara and Swagger stole the show. No sign of Danielson :( Maybe after the PPV...

That Clown from Outta Town - WWE Draft 2011

Draft time. I don't think I've ever actually seen a draft before, so this should be interesting.

I actually saw a spoiler online by accident, so I know Cena and Orton are heading to Smackdown, but I stopped reading so I don't know the rest...not sure why they're sending two of their biggest stars to the 'b' show, but there we go.

LETS DO THIS

-Starting with a Battle Royale, my least favourite type of match...
- Daniel Bryan to win (yeah right)
- He was 5th from last to go to be fair
- Smackdown wins the first pick
- Cena...but I knew that already
- Cole v JR is the main event? I hope it's not the actual main event
- Here comes Truth
- 'Y'all gon stop with that What' 'WHAT'
- 'Y'all pissin me the hell off' Awesome promo, dude
- 'You know what?' 'WHAT'
- They keep letting him say 'pissed' but beeping the 'off'...makes no sense
- This promo is fucking weird...mainly because nobody is listening and just going 'WHAT' the whole time
- SARANARA ARIBADERCHY
- I wish Morrison had ambushed him 5 or 6 minutes earlier...that was terrible
- More Kong...can't wait
- Or Kharma as she now seems to be known
- Divas
- Cole interrupting the match on the mic...awesome
- Weird fucking brawl...the little brunette battering the big blonde, crying the whole time
- Rey's heading to RAW
- Lol, Zack Ryder...
- Rey's music is awesome. But, crap at the same time.
- Cody :D
- Cody's promos are awesome
- Kofi Kingston v Sheamus...interesting
- Woo Woo Woo sign in the audience...wonder if it'll get confiscated
- Kofi won...didn't see that coming
- Orton...so we're up to the point I already saw, the rest should be a proper surprise
- Cole v JR...Cole's probably going to win, but I'm sure it'll be a mess
- Best troll heel ever
- Cole just stomped on JR's hat...it's on now
- Looks like JR busted Cole's lip...didn't think they were allowed to bleed on WWE any more
- Flogging JR with his own belt...fucking hell
- Started as comedy, but it turned fucking nasty at the end
- The main event is gonna be a 'country whipping' match...what the fuck does that even mean
- Orton v Dolph...poor Dolph
- Actually...what the fuck kind of name is Dolph? Never occurred to me before, but what the fuck even is that
- Orton still with that Angle Slam
- Another pick for Smackdown
- Punk interrupting the draft pick
- Punk v Orton is gonna be a last man standing match :) No hail-mary RKOs, how can Orton possibly win?
- Orton's got stubble...I predict a heel turn once he gets to Smackdown
- Mark Henry and Sin Cara heading to Smackdown
- Wade Barrett v Rey Mysterio
- Rey wins, short match
- Big Show heading to RAW...but he's tag champ with Kane...
- Alberto Del Rio going to RAW also...more reason to believe Christian's gonna get that belt :D
- Teddy Long...I really don't like him on the mic
- Punk, Del Rio and Miz v Christian, Mark Henry and Cena...the entrances alone are gonna take about 10 mins
- Awesome Tornado DDT by Christian
- Mark Henry heel turns and takes out Cena
- And Christian
- Lol, Cena's been drafted back to RAW

Pretty cool RAW, it was basically all wrestling, (almost) no bullshit. The Cena thing was a waste of time, though.

I don't really see the draft picks as a big deal, if you watch both shows it doesn't really change anything significant...and half the time you get guys from one show appearing on the other anyway.

Review: WWE Smackdown, 14th May

This week’s Smackdown opened with a title match for the Intercontinental Championship. If evidence were ever needed that this was a mid-belt and a mid-card show, the fact that a title shot was the first match only seems to support this. The match wasn’t bad, the momentum kept slipping, but by the end of the match it was starting to look up. With some pretty mediocre high-flying cross-body moves from both guys, the match ended with a win by pin-fall, with Kofi Kingston winning. I think the thing that surprised me the most about this match was the fact that it actually lasted for 10 minutes. I can’t remember the last time I watched an episode of Smackdown where the first fifteen minutes of the show weren’t taken up by some half-arsed in-ring promo. This is good, it’s like watching wrestling again!

In a shocking, sorry, predictable turn of events, Kingston’s celebration was cut short. Who should arrive at the ring but the ‘fired’ Drew McIntyre? I know that the McIntyre getting fire is just an angle, but why did the WWE play his entrance music? This might sound obvious, but surely if you want to give the impression that someone really has been fired and has turned up to the ring unannounced, it would make sense for the sound guys not to have the fired star’s entrance theme cued. Anyway, judging by the way McIntyre was dress, a more suitable entrance theme would have been Saturday Night Fever by the Bee Gees; a medallion and some chest hair would have finished the look beautifully.

We all know that one of the most dramatic things to watch on screen is someone standing there reading something that we are not privy to, right? McIntyre handed Teddy Long a note, which I assumed was a note from McIntyre’s mother excusing him from wrestling because he is going to a disco-themed murder mystery for his her birthday. And, alas! Kofi is stripped of his title. Hahahaha! Now this is wrestling! Like a bad boy who’s had his bottom smacked, Long hands the title back to McIntyre. Hahahaha! With chants of ‘you suck’ and more boos than outside of a paedophile’s trial, Drew left with his title (the title he won and didn’t lose, boooooo – the fans on Smackdown are ‘children and ideots’). I must be a master of predicting the complexities of the Smackdown story arcs, as last week I said: “Of course, there is not a possible chance in the world that Vince McMahonn will come out next week and overturn T-Lo's ruling, is there?” I am a genius.



Next we have a small promo of World Heavyweight Champion of the world, the All-American American American, Jack Swagger overseeing some guys unloading a truck... this is wrestling.

Next up was a match between Shad Gaspard, a guy with possibly the worst name in wrestling, against Jesse Guyver. As a teenager I used to be a big fan of the anime cartoon The Guyver and was hoping that the jobber would suddenly ‘bio-boost’ and become super-powerful because of some alien bio-armour... but as the guy was already in the ring and didn’t get an entrance theme, the word jobber came to mind and my desire for some manga style battle soon came crashing back down to reality. This was basically a squash match to make Shad look dominant – it was over quite quickly and there were no surprises.

Next up we had a match which saw MVP and JTG combine their initials in a tag match against a tag team with one of the worst names in WWE history: The Dude Busters. There might be a chance that WWE is starting to push its tag team division again, let’s see how this pans out. This was actually a pretty decent match, but the result was pretty obvious (MVPJTG won).

After a short promo with Punk forgiving Gallows and Sarina for having their minds poisoned by Mysterio, the show cuts to show a bunch of trophies being set up by the ring. You know what’s coming, right? Jack Bragger... Dull, dull, dull. I can’t wait for Big Show to win the title so we don’t have to listen to this bullshit, week in, week out. Who should come in and interrupt Swagger’s little monologue? Why, of course, it’s the Big Show and he’s breaking stuff.

After some Divas stuff, Kane comes out. I was bored of Kane over a decade ago and he’s still boring. Joining him in the ring was Chavvo Guerrero. In Kane’s usual fashion, we won by utilising the Undertaker’s move-set. Dull, dull, dull.

In the main event we see Punk go against Mysterio, again. The match was run of the mill and ended with a run-in by the Straight Edge Society – including that mysterious hooded member. Over the Limit looks to be a pretty dull PPV. Punk really needs to get some more interesting angles.

Greatest Promos Ever! "Awww, did you expect somebody else?"

This has to be one of CM Punk's finest moments since moving to WWE. After he retired Jeff Hardy on Smackdown the previous week, who should enter the arena...



I was reminded of this promo because of Jeff Hardy himself. In the recent Pro Wrestling Observer Newsletter it seems that Hardy was a little pissed by this promo:

"WWE's last unofficial offer to Jeff Hardy before he went to TNA had a $750,000 downside where he would only have to work 65 dates a year, giving him the biggest break on the schedule out of any WWE stars, including Shawn Michaels.

Obviously Hardy turned the deal down as he was upset that nobody backed him after his drug arrest and he was upset over the promos that WWE had CM Punk cut on him after he left the company. The feeling was that Hardy wasn't with the company at the time and the promos from Punk weren't business as they weren't used to build a match."

This just makes me love the promo even more.

Review: WWE Smackdown, May 7th, 2010

At the start of Smackdown, Jeff Hardy came out looking like he'd put on a few pounds, especially around his face, maybe he's bloated through the drugs or maybe he just couldn't stop when the Pringles popped. Oh wait, that's Matt isn't it? Jeff's fat older brother, that makes sense. So Matt Hardy's out and he is cutting a promo about Drew McIntyre, and how Drew McIntyre was really mean to him. This is where the drama begins to unfold: Drew McIntyre enters, with a, wait for it, real life microphone. Just in case you didn't know that McIntyre is the heel, the bad guy, the one we're meant to boo, he's wearing a suit. That's how you know that a wrestler is a heel: he will come out wearing a suit. They talk for a while, threats are made, the story arcs are set up and then Drew makes his way to the ring. 8 minutes into Smackdown we see our first bit of in-ring action, it's more of a beat down than a match, but it sure is moving along quicker than last week's episode of Raw. The drama continues to unfold as Fat Matt and McIntyre are joined in the ring by officials trying to pull them apart. Old Drew is relentless, and with the blurry and shaky camera work, you can almost see him hit fat Matt. As the officials pull Drew away, who should make an entrance but Smackdown general manager Teddy Long. Instead of setting up a match between Hardy and McIntyre, Teddy lays down the law: he suspends McIntyre. Holy shit! Now the drama really is begining to unfurl. As you can imagine, Drew McIntyre is the not the king of guy to take this lightly, on the contrary, he takes it, erm, heavily and runs back to fat Matt to give him another beating. Now this was the final straw for Mr Long who declared the Drew McIntyre was to be stripped of his Intercontinental title. Holy shit! The drama is really unravelling now. Something like that will really put McIntyre in his place. Something like that will stop McIntyre wanting to beat on fat Matt. Wrong! McIntyre takes the stripping of his title heavier than the fat around fat Matt's fat neck. Like an autisic child, McIntyre doesn't make the link between cause and effect, doesn't make the link between action and consiquence; this guy's never even heard of Newton. So he goes again and beats on fat Matt. What else has the guy got to lose? He may as well get a few punches in before they drag his ass out of the building. Mistake. Teddy Long really lays the law down now and fires Drew McIntyre! Holy shit, now the drama has just gone mental in a dustbin, this is just nuts. Of course, there is not a possible chance in the world that Vince McMahonn will come out next week and overturn T-Lo's ruling, is there?



So, 15 minutes in we have our first match, a pretty uneventful affair between MVP and Luke Gallows, yawn. As I thought, this match was a set up for Rey Mysterio and CM Punk to have a microphone wrestle. The feud between Rey Mysterio and CM Punk has been going on since the road to Wrestlemania and they are still dragging this one out after 3 months. Let's recap: at Wrestlemania, if Mysterio lost he would have to join the Straight Edge Society; at Exteme Rules, if Punk lost he would have to have his hair shaved. How do you raise the stakes for Punk and Mysterio's rubber match at Over the Limit? What crazy stipulations will be pulled out of the bag for this one? Holy shit! If Mysterio lose he has to join the Straight Edge Society, if Punk loses he has to have his head shaved. With the stipulations combined, the WWE Universe are assured that this match will be as good as, or better than, the two previous matches. With a big chunk already cut out of Punk's hair, it's obvious that Mysterio will win. Okay, I know I said before that it was against the laws of physics and logic for Mysterio to lose against Punk, only to lose against Punk at Extreme Rules, but I'm a humble man, I can admit when I was wrong. But, when things are at stake for Mysterio, he has to win, he just has to.



With McIntyre out of the picture, what now for the Intercontinental title? Well, let me tell you. Mr Long sets up a tournament of the top four contenders to get the belt. This got me thinking, if Hardy and McIntyre hadn't had a fight and McIntyre hadn't been suspended, then stripped of his title, then fired, then this week's Smackdown would be coming to its main event at this point, making it a very short Smackdown indeed, it's almost as if this shit is planned or scripted, but that can't be, right?

Match one in the IC tournament was between Kofi Kingston and Dolph Zigler. When I saw Smackdown live a few months ago, one of best chants of the night was for Dolph Ziggler "he's Jeff Jarrett" *clap clap clap clap clap*. Again, we have another mediocre match, with Kofi Kingston moving on to the IC final next week.

Match two saw Cody Rhodes taking on Christian. This wasn't a bad match, a lot of energy and some pretty decent moves. Christian went on to win, and I predict will win the IC belt then have to defend it at over the limit against McIntyre.

The final match of the evening was Jack Swagger versus Kane in a non-title bout. Kane in a main event? Kane? Maybe over a decade ago, but I thought that Kane's role was to take out jobbers to fill in some time between the proper matches. Swagger entered the ring and began telling us more of his achievements. What a great guy, he's so smart and athletic. Oh wait, he's a heel, "boooooo". The match begins and who should join the announcers but Big Show. There's no way he's going to sit at the side of the ring is he? The match lasts for a little over 5 minutes and Swagger is DQed for not releasing a hold in time. At the end of the match the Big Show enters the ring and beats down on Swagger. The Big Show, in an act of defiance, takes the world title and holds it aloft as if he were the champion. Does Teddy Long come out and suspend the Big Show? He doesn't? I'm beginning to sense some anti-British rhetoric going on here.





In summary: I really don't know why I still bother watching Smackdown.

Review: WWE Smackdown, 30th April, 2010.

With the Draft on Monday pulling most of Smackdown's talent towards Raw, I knew that this episode would be a precursor to what can only be the demise of Smackdown. Smackdown's always played second fiddle to Raw, but has always maintained a stable of decent stars. With the Draft sending Edge and Jericho to Raw and replacing them with the likes of Christian and Kofi Kingston (you know the one who is from West Africa and seems to be proud of his Jamaican heritage whilst speaking with an obviously American accent).

Apparently, Smackdown is to move from it usual channel in the US to SyFy, which is where WWE's bastardised version of ECW was until this year and where the biggest example of a missed opportunity resides in the NXT borefest. It's quite obvious that WWE are moving their biggest pulls over to Raw before Smackdown gets demoted further in October.

I thought that this week's show had a lot of potential, on paper anyway. After all, the stars who had been drafted to Raw are still on Smackdown until Monday, but the stars from Raw had already moved across. In this unique crossover event we saw great moments that will stand like lighthouses in the stomy waters of wrestling history... well, not quite.

Does anybody else remember when Jericho used to be good? I'm pretty sure he's been in the business a few years, won a few matches, earned a few belts... so why the fuck was he a jobber for Kofi Kingston? It seems he can hold his ground with someone like Edge in a steel cage, but can't beat a mediocre 'superstar' like Kingston?

The rest of the episode was equally dull, with Punk being interupted by MVP who wants to bring the party back to Smackdown. Big Show was throwing a few punches, knocking a few people out, as you do, and for some reason became number one contender for no real reason. Throughout the night we got to see little vignettes of Jack Swagger talking about how great he is - he went to university and was really good in scouts. I'm getting tired of this lispy, arrogant prick; I don't dislike him because he's a heel, I dislike him because he's a complete ball bag. I loved to see him get punched by Big Show, it made such a great noise, I hope it really hurt him.

 


The highlight of the night was seeing Edge and Christian back in the ring together. Unfortunately, there was no death defying leaps from ladders, just a nice old fashioned mic spot. Edge was saying how much he loves Smackdown and how much he loves the fans and how he doesn't want to go. All really emotional stuff, Edge is such a great guy. Then Christian comes out and accuses Edge of being a liar. Edge can't be a liar, he such a great guy (see above). In perhaps the least shocking turn in wrestling history, Edge admits to being a liar and hating everything that he just said he liked, "you didn't see that coming, did you?", he said pulling his best heel face... well actually, Edge, if that is your real name, we did see that coming and most fans have wanted you to go heel since your return. And the award for the least convinced heel turn 2010 goes to...





So, with Smackdown pretty much redundant and Raw looking in better shape, I'm hoping over the coming months that CM Punk, Undertaker and Brian Danielson go over and all of the rest of Smackdown roster drift into obscurity (that includes you Rey Mysterio).

- Socko

WWE comes to the UK...

Last weekend, I went to see Smackdown in Manchester, and on the whole it was pretty good. There were some great matches and more importantly some great chants.
When Zigler came to the ring, all I heard around me was "He's Jeff Jarrett", when Kane came to the ring there were chants of "Issac Yankem" clap clap clap clap clap and "He's a dentist." When Fat Hardy and Drew MacIntire were pissing about the crowd were chanting "we want wrestling", and when WWE's own MCMG clones 'the Dude Busters' came out, we got the most British of chants, straight from the football terraces of "who are ye? who are ye?" - not because we Brits didn't know who they were, but because they are shit. I think my favourite of the night was the chant of "enter-tain-ment" clap clap clap clap clap... you know it works.
So that was my live experience. It was pretty cool, the crowd was a bit flat, but on the whole pretty decent. I took my kid brother for his 11th birthday and he got to meet the Honey Monster. I was hoping to see HM in a hardcore match, but I'm a dreamer, man.
The highlight of the night was the triple threat match between Edge, Jericho and Swagger. Of course, a title changing hands was less likely than Ric Flair being tolerant to homosexuals, but it was worth it to see Bret Hart as enforcer putting Swagger into the victorious Swagger at the end of the match. (Like in Smackdown, Swagger had got a pin on Jericho from Edge's spear).
On to the broadcasts...
Lets's be honest, guest hosts on Raw are a bag of shit. A bunch of C list celebs who are only vaguely famous in America plugging their bullshit while we're waiting for the wrestling. This week was no exception. Contrary to what the commentators on Raw would have you believe, David Hasselhoff is not seen as a god in the UK (they're thinking of Germany), people see him as a joke. A bit of a sad parody of a famous person, the type of guy who student's though was cool about ten years ago. His recent hit only charted in the UK because of people ironically buying his record because Radio One's fattest DJ, Chris Moyles thought that it would be heeelarious (and it really was).
I'm not the biggest fan of women's wrestling, but I thought that the Baywatch Babe match was just a little bit insulting. Who was it aimed at? Baywatch hasn't been on the TV for about 15 years and most of its fans aren't teenage boys anymore, but in their 30s with kids and dogs and patios and pension schemes and are so desensitized to the excesses of internet porn that a few women jumping round in swimsuits just don't do it for them any more... unless they're farting on a Brazilian girl or something.
The fact is that the whole show was bullshit, especially the thinly veiled excuse to bring Orton over Smackdown (he's wrestled everyone on the Raw roster at least 3-4 times), by offering a shot at the World Championship against Swagger at Extreme Rules.
The highlight of the show was Miz's microphone wrestling against Bret Gart, that was funny as fuck.
Onto Smackdown...
at the minute, I think I prefer Smackdown to Raw, mainly because of CM Punk's microphone wrestling. I've marked for Punk for a few years now and can't wait to see him get back in the ring with Brian Danielson or Daniel Bryanson, whatever he's called now. Bring in McGuiness (AKA Desmond Wolfe) and Samoa Joe from TNA and you've got an ROH circa 2005 reunion - and it would piss over most of the WWE roster at the moment.
I'm not going to go into details about the matches on this one, but draw attention to one of the funniest moments I've seen on WWE for a few years, and completely unintentionally.
There was a point where the Miz came down to commentate on the six-man tag match between Hart Dynasty/Ray Mysterio and SxE. The result's was so obvious; it is actually a scientific and logical impossibility for Rey Mysterio to lose in a match with CM Punk. So, the Miz is sat at the announcer's table bragging about his Blue Peter badge. If you believe the Miz, then he was given it by "the UK" and it's like a "key to the city". Any UK fans will know the Blue Peter is the program of choice for little middle class kids who are into making stuff with "sticky-back plastic' and toilet roll tubes.
I'll let you judge by the clip. Just a side note, my missus went to school with Helen Skelton.



Bring on Lockdown and Extreme Rules!