TNA predictions revisited

I've watched Lockdown, and it was a mixed bag, but overall quite enjoyable.
"
LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains."

Short and sweet, mediocre match. Sting retained. Most of the stuff in the this match seemed to be double finishers... double Mic Check... double Scorpion Death Drop... double Scorpion Death Lock (this was possibly the gayest looking move ever).


"LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win."

This was a decent Lethal Lockdown, really entertaining, AJ returned, all good.
Daniels did a crazy jump from the cage that was captured beautifully... Matt Hardy did the same just as the camera was cutting away. Let's hope he's not injured...


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass."

Jarrett won, but it was great match. Angle is nuts, he took some crazy bumps in this and look like he nearly killed himself when getting powerbombed from the top rope and over rolling. Scary shit. Also, I'm pretty sure that Angle hit Jarrett with an RKO - probably because Orton did an Angle Slam at Mania.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win"

The entrance music was longer than the match. Mickie won, but her arm looked pretty fucked.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much."

Morgan won, and for a match between these two, it wasn't totally awful.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win."

Pretty decent match, loved seeing Pope getting a couple of muscle-busters... didn't like seeing Pope's bare ass... AND JOE WON CLEAN.


"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win."

This was a pretty confusing match, lots of spots, Bucks look great, little Buck won.

"LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!"

Steiner made this match pretty deent by a whole bunch of suplexes, apart from that, it was pretty forgettable. Ink Inc won.


This wasn't a bad PPV, a couple of matches stood out, but there was a real disconnect with the crowd, not sure whether is was poor acoustics or something, but they sounded dead.

That Clown from Outta Town - Lockdown 2011

It's late, but I'm gonna be fast forwarding at least 2 of the matches so I'm gonna give Lockdown a watch.

LET'S DO THIS

04:31 - Ultimate Escape match...this should be awesome. Shame there's nothing on the line...Kaz is champ and he's in Lethal Lockdown.
5:12 - Robbie fucking E
08:14 - Sabin or Red to win
08:28 - Wait, it's tag style, not just a massive brawl?
11:09 - Suicide eliminated by Robbie E, didn't even use his finisher...FFS TNA
11:47 - I'm not sure who Suicide is now...Daniels and Kaz are both wrestling as themselves...is one of them doing double shifts, or is there a new Suicide?
12:20 - A Sabin v Lethal feud would be fucking awesome
14:17 - Red out to Sabin...Sabin to win
15:49 - Max Buck eliminates Sabin...uh...either Buck to win
19:57 - Robbie E eliminated, biggest cheer of the night so far
21:59 - Good match, but I feel like it could have been so much better
23:56 - Fucking Bischoff...it's a fucking PPV FFS just fuck off
26:38 - I think Bischoff actually thinks the fans are booing him solely because he's a heel...and not because he's shit on the mic...and his name is synonymous with utter failure and terrible wrestling shows
27:55 - 'We want wrestling' chant...totally agree
28:42 - TNA is a fucking shambles...if Immortal not having the belt is such a big deal, strip Sting of the title and give it to whoever...for fucks sake, we put up with all that bullshit for them to take control, and now they have control they don't use it...WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT...a FUCKING LAPTOP in WWE has more power than these fucking clowns
31:44 - Tag time...Crimson and Steiner to win
34:43 - A cage match where you're not allowed to escape the cage...TN fucking A
37:39 - This commentary is terrible...2 old men making gay jokes directed at Orlando Jordan...it's a sad state of affairs when Michael Cole is preferable to anything
41:41 - Just realised OJ & Eric are wearing Jimmy Snuka pants...someone's coming off the top of the cage :)
43:45 - Young escaped but didn't win (I DO NOT UNDERSTAND), dressed as Jimmy Snuka but didn't jump off the top of cage...FFS TNA
47:02 - Knockouts
52:37 - over in less than a minute...I'm guessing they cut it short so they can add a whole bunch of bullshit to the main event
55:14 - JOE v POPE FUCK YEAH JOE EAT HIS BRAIN AND PUKE IT DOWN HIS THROAT
57:20 - FUCK YEAH JOE'S BACK AT PPV MOTHERFUCKERS ABOUT FUCKING TIME
66:43 - COME ON JOE FUCKING KILL HIM
67:10 - Pope hanging off the cage with his arse hanging out
68:42 - Joe gets the win...was a bit more even than I was hoping for, Joe should be dominating the pope with ease
70:15 - Hernandez v Morgan...fast forwarding
87:24 - Karen interview...is it Kurt time already?
91:33 - This should be the main event...I might cut my losses after the match and just stop watching
93:10 - How awesome would it be if Angle locked the cage from the inside, and beat the living shit out of Jarrett for real
95:25 - Just remembered it best of 3 falls :D
96:32 - 1st fall is submission only...referee does a pinfall when Kurt has his shoulders on the mat. Typical fucking TNA
99:36 - Angle just reversed an armbar into an ankle lock...fucking hell
99:47 - First fall already??
104:10 - Jarrett's kicking out of angle slams now? When the fuck did that happen?
108:43 - 5 consecutive German suplexes by Angle
111:21 - Holy shit that was a bad landing...looked like Angle was going for a top rope hurracarana, but Jarrett thought it was supposed to be a powerbomb...Kurt landed right on his head
112:15 - Phew, he's ok...top rope Angle slam :)
113:58 - Top of cage moonsault...wasn't even close
117:28 - Screwjob. Piece of shit...there were 2 matches on the whole card that looked any good, and this one was ruined. And it means the Angle Jarrett feud will continue.
123:51 - The title match isn't even the main event.
125:14 - Actually, I don't give a shit about this match, fast forwarding to the screwjob
138:04 - Sting retains, no thanks to a bullshit ending
144:36 - Don't give a fuck about Lethal Lockdown either, fastforwarding to the screwjob again
168:24 - AJ's back Fortune won, their name now makes no sense because there's 5 of them

That was shit. I might actually not even bother watching the PPVs. The last 3 matches were all screwjobs. WWE is so much better it's not even funny any more.

That Clown from Outta Town - Smackdown, April 15th

I don't even like Smackdown, but it's gotta be better than iMPACT, right?

LET'S DO THIS

0:29 - Ricardo Rodriguez is a fucking weird looking dude...like a frog with a toupe
1:52 - Cole's on Smackdown too??
5:36 - Teddy Long's still in it?
7:04 - 20-man battle royale to face Del Rio for the vacant title...battle royales suck
9:51 - Kofi Kingston vs a brick wall
17:49 - Cody Rhodes...his gimmick is fucking awesome
21:23 - Kong teaser again...still fucking awesome
22:23 - Drew McIntyre...his music is terrible...possibly the worst music in pro wrestling today...worse even that the old MCMG music...
32:46 - That was actually pretty good. I always thought McIntyre was a bit bland and boring, but he was good in that one.
35:34 - Edge coming out to surrender the belt...it does all seem sudden as fuck
50:14 - Divas
61:12 - 40 mins left and already going to the Battle Royale?
64:37 - Christian or Cody to win
67:28 - Christian to win
69:54 - Mysterio pretending to be a turnbuckle...best camouflage ever
75:06 - FINAL 2 COME THE FUCK ON CHRISTIAN
78:22 - FUCK YEAH CHRISTIAN GETS A FUCKING TITLE SHOT bet he'll win it too cos of Edge
81:37 - One last 5 second pose :)
82:01 - And the entire locker room comes out to applaud edge

That was an awesome Smackdown...better than RAW, even. Although, the whole Edge thing probably had a lot to do with it.

I'm struggling to remember why I used to prefer TNA to WWE...

Socko Swerve Spoiler

TNA continues to baffle on Challenge TV. I've decided I can't fight it, its time to go along with the madness, become one with the madness, and enjoy the ride.

Now I understand where its going. I understand why Ric Flair claims to be God yet spends his time in a wrestling promotion and why Hulk Hogan can have 100% of the company but still have to follow the mysterious instructions of The Network.

Mental Illness.

I think The Network is all in Hulk Hogans mind. I think when he speaks to them on the phone it doesn't even have batteries in, like Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead when he find the only way to cope with the trauma, grief and guilt of his situation is to talk to his dead wife using a broken phone. The pile drivers, the powerslams and the kind of detachment from reality that leads a man to star in "Santa With Muscles" all indicate that the man is ill. This might explain why he thinks the bandana fools us into thinking he has a full head of hair; this might explain why he posted a Twitter video of him having a shit.

Is Eric Bischoff even real? Is he an “A Beautiful Mind” type flight of fancy? I don’t know if we ever see people talk to Bischoff as if he wasn’t there, partly because he’s always in Hogans shadow, partly because, as I say, I’ve become one with the madness.

TNA might just turn into Fight Club but you know, without the fights.

That Clown from Outta Town - 3 FUCKING iMPACTs

I’ve finished watching Derren now, so it’s time to catch up with iMPACT…3 iMPACTs in a row…fuck.

LETS DO THIS

01:26 - Starting with an Anderson promo…again
05:33 - Sting interrupting one of the dumbest starts to an iMPACT…possibly ever
06:35 - FUCK YEAH I FUCKING LOVE BRAWLING
07:11 - But wait, there’s more! Here comes RVD!
08:10 - Here come Hogan and Bisch…WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THEY’D GET INVOLVED
09:50 - Guaranteed screw job for the main event…great fucking news, eh?
12:44 - Shannon v Steiner…FUCK HIM UP SCOTTY…LITERALLY RIP HIS FACE OFF
14:09 - TNA…Total Nonstop Promos
15:50 - Jarrett trying to get out of his Angle match like a fucking baby
16:23 - Eric Young and OJ on guest commentary…I’d rather they got a match tbh
18:37 - I wish they’d commentate the match instead of making gay innuendos
20:43 - I haven’t bothered mentioning this before because it’s so fucking obvious, but Shannon and Jesse are going to split up and feud because of Shannon’s ‘disrespect’.
22:14 - FRANKENSTEINER…not the greatest match, but the FRANKENSTEINER made up for it
23:21 - What the fuck is OJ wearing…I thought he’d toned down his gimmick a little, but that’s just…fucking weird
23:31 - Magnus and Williams are back together…does this mean Wolfe is getting a solo push? Probably not, he’d only show up the main eventers
24:33 - Anderson is a terrible comedian.
25:24 - This ‘The Jarretts’ soap opera they shoehorn into iMPACT is terrible
26:36 - Gen Me are gonna feud…THIS SHOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME
27:41 - Straight into a match…no buildup, no feud, no reason to care. FFS TNA
28:30 - Fucking nice so far
30:49 - This is awesome…this is old TNA…please put these guys in a cage at Lockdown
31:26 - Max wins with some kind of Diamond Dust variant…that was brilliant, the best iMPACT match in months…maybe the best TNA match
32:41 - Angelina and Winter in a hypnotism angle…in fucking 2011.
35:04 - Velvet v Winter…I’m actually gonna check this one out
40:08 - Actually a fairly decent match…the hypnotism thing is fucking stupid though
40:41 - ANOTHER FUCKING ANDERSON PROMO WTF TNA
41:38 - I wonder if the wrestlers in TNA watch WWE…do they know just how bad this show is compared to the competition?
42:55 - They have to be trolling. There is no fucking way anyone could think this would make for a decent show. There’s just no way.
44:41 - Total Nonstop Anderson
45:49 - Immortal have come out to batter Anderson and Sting…RVD’s gonna come out and make the save, guaran-fucking-teed
46:31 - I FUCKING TOLD YOU
48:25 - The Jarretts again…terrible
53:30 - Angle time :D I think he’s fighting Rob ‘Steroid Monster’ Terry
57:03 - Angle destroyed him in like 2-3 minutes…the only 3 minute match that actually makes sense
1:00:14 - Up next…a fucking screwjob…er, I mean, the main event!
1:00:53 - Main event with 25 minutes left? This is gonna be as stupid as last week, I can feel it in my bones
1:03:50 - The bullshit started before the match did
1:06:58 - Hogan’s coming out…because the match wasn’t fucked enough already
1:16:30 - DANIELS IS BACK FUCK YEAH
1:16:40 - And takes out all of Immortal from the top of the cage
1:22:04 - These post-main event reactions are a terrible idea…the point is to have a fucking cliffhanger…if you carry on from the cliffhanger it’s not a fucking cliffhanger

That was terrible. Gen Me put on an awesome match, the Knockouts match was pretty decent, everything else was fucking awful.

WHERE WAS JOE?

Ok, next one.

01:39 - Here comes Daniels :) He appears to be the leader of Fortune now, after being back 5 minutes...
09:29 - The Network can hire wrestlers now??
13:12 - Well, that was a waste of 13 minutes...that's about 3 matches on TNA
15:38 - Hernandez & Mex Pac on their way to the ring
16:52 - Dreamer & Devon are now a tag team, apparently
19:12 - That was roughly 2 minutes...what the fuck was the point?
21:48 - FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHHH SAMOA JOE
22:13 - Joe v Murphy? if Murphy wins, I'm gonna be pissed. Even if it's a screwjob
23:49 - That was less than a minute, I'm sure...I'm gonna go back and time it
23:52 - 49 seconds bell-to-bell. 49 seconds of Joe in 2 weeks is not enough
26:10 - Knockouts...looks like the hypnotism angle is still going on
29:09 - What is with all the short matches this week...3 matches, lasting roughly 5 minutes total...in the meantime, a promo got 13 minutes
35:07 - This is all Anderson...boring as fuck
47:59 - Six man X-division tag match...I didn't realise they still had the X-Division
53:59 - This is boring as fuck...lame show
57:53 - Daniels v Ray lumberjack match...I don't give a fuck about it
69:20 - Terrible Jarrett promo that makes no fucking sense whatsoever
71:15 - Angle just flew into the ring on a zipline, like an angry Batman...that was fucking awesome
72:49 - The main event will be nowhere near as good as the zipline
77:10 - Main event starting, less than 7 minutes left...including the obligatory post match bullshit/interviews
82:52 - Oh for fucks sake, Anderson in Immortal
84:03 - And he's out...

Boring as fuck. Only good bit was the zipline.

One more, and then I can rest...

01:59 - Starting with Immortal...FFS
06:39 - Fuck this is awful
07:52 - What in the fuck is a mammajamma
17:06 - Not the greatest 4-way I've ever seen...the in-ring action took second place to all the storyline bullshit on the outside
19:06 - Matt v Kaz...not hugely optimistic about this to be honest
26:51 - Decent length match...that's all it had going for it.
34:26 - FUCK YEAH SAMOA JOE FUCK EM UP JOE EAT THEIR FUCKING HEARTS
41:44 - Joe loses by screwjob...fucking TNA. Maybe I'll switch to Smackdown instead
43:31 - I'm so fucking sick of the Immortal music
50:30 - I'm pretty sure TNA are pumping in crowd sound effects...I can hear boos, but the crowd all look like this (click to enlarge):













Which is exactly how I feel watching it.
52:21 - WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO ABYSS' MUSIC FFS TNA THAT IS TERRIBLE AND THE OLD MUSIC WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT
58:29 - I've been watching the crowd and listening for a while, and I'm pretty sure they're pumping in crowd music...this'll probably be my last iMPACT just because of that. I'll still check out the PPV's, but I'll give Smackdown a try now...
61:15 - "...as of lately..."
61:47 - The hypnotism angle is terrible...why are they doing this in 2011? It would fit just fine in the late 80's early 90's...here, it just looks fucking stupid
66:12 - Fucking Anderson again

That was terrible.

Fuck.

TNA Lockdown - predictions

Hmm, I forgot about this one, even after watching the go home show on Impact.
Anyways, lets have look at my Lockdown predictions...

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH TNA WORLD TITLE
Mr. Anderson vs. champion "The Icon" Sting vs. RVD

Yawn, I don't want to see RVD and Anderson in the ring together ever again. This will be a shit match. Hope Sting retains.


LETHAL LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Immortal vs. Fortune

The usual Wargames match, the feud has kind of fizzled out over the last month or so, and it will be the usual hot-spot cluster-fuck we get at every Lockdown. Fortune will win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is the match I'm looking forward to. It's the same stip as the Wolfe/Angle match... can't wait to see Angle kick Jarrett's ass.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Mickie James vs. champion Madison Rayne
(Mickie's Hair vs. Madison's Knockouts Title)

Who cares? Mickie will win


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Really? Is this feud still going on? I'm not even going to guess on this one I hate it so much.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe

Shit feud, potentially good match. Joe deserves better than he's been booked over the last couple of years. Joe to win.


LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
The X Division Xscape Match

This should be fun, Chris Sabin to win.

LOCKDOWN CAGE MATCH
Ink Inc vs. Crimson/Steiner vs. Jordan/Young vs. Magnus/Williams

Come on Brits!

Not pumped for this at all. I usually look forward to Lockdown, but the booking on TNa of late has been pretty terrible.

That Clown from Outta Town - RAW, April 11th

I've been watching the complete Derren Brown over the last week or two, so I haven't seen too much wrestling...I heard about the Edge thing though so I'm taking a break from having my mind fucked with to check it out.

LET'S DO THIS

01:34 - Here comes Cena...
04:50 - Cena's claiming the Rock/Cena match will be for the belt...how in the fuck can you predict something like that...and what about the Rumble?
5:30 - Cena calls out Miz, Orton comes to the ring...
7:24 - John Morrison's coming out :) I'd love to see him get a title run
08:30 - And Vickie/Dolph...this is starting to seem like something that should have happened backstage
10:06 - R-Truth now? What?
12:38 - 5-man gauntlet...I reckon Cena is one of the first 2, pins the fuck out of everyone, Orton is last, Cena wins...
13:47 - Awesome Kong promo...FUCK YES
15:33 - Divas
19:13 - Not the greatest match...stupid screwjob as well. The twins switch places, so Eve marks their hands so they can't switch...so they switch anyway...one gets kicked out...and the other one gets the win anyway
21:09 - Sin Cara...he's got his debut already. I figured he'd do run-ins for a few weeks first.
21:47 - Sin Cara vs literally a jobber
22:20 - My bad, that guy actually is somebody apparently
23:36 - Sin Cara looks damn good...again
26:42 - Sin Cara's finisher is Kaz's old one...one of my favourite moves of all time
29:29 - Oh yay, a Corre promo
31:27 - Interrupted...thank fuck for that
32:47 - That was terrible
35:40 - Santino completely whiffed a spinning backfist...ginger fella sold it, everyone carried on as if nothing happened
37:09 - Swagger v King
39:53 - Cole is actually more annoying than Fonzie at ringside...I had no idea that was possible
51:33 - Edge time
63:11 - Fucking hell...I feel bad for the guy...wonder what's happening with the belt?
65:37 - Miz on commentary for the main event
66:15 - Orton's the first guy to the ring...I was way out
67:40 - Ziggler's number 2...guy has no chance
70:52 - Orton got screwd by Nexus...didn't see that coming, Ziggler actually made it to round 2
71:59 - R Truth up next
76:30 - Ziggler out, Morrison in...fuck 'em up, John
81:47 - Morrison out...Truth v Cena
89:33 - What in the fuck is is a double disqualification

Pretty average RAW except for Edge...Nothing really memorable except Sin Cara wrestling-wise.

The main event wasn't great, and the ending to the main event was terrible. There's no decent feuds going on at the moment. Although, it's still better than the 6 hour iMPACT marathon I'll have to do to catch up with TNA.