Royal Rumble 2012

I think we all know Sheamus is gonna win this thing. Still, Punk v Dolph should be pretty interesting, someone's getting screwed but no idea who or how.

LET'S DO THIS

Nice, Bryan's up first...he's gonna get battered though

Michael Cole hates conceited people, apparently

Did Booker just say "This is fucking dangerous"

Holy shit, Bryan not only won, but won clean...awesome

And since he's a heel now, there's a good chance Punk might actually pull it off too

Kane v Cena...tempted to fast forward because I really don't give a shit

Cena can lift Big Show but not Kane...what

Pretty dull match...this should have gone first

Oh god, this is painful...the suffocation move looks terrible

I wonder what happened to the guy who won Tough Enough. Haven't heard from him in ages.

It's turned into a backstage brawl...boring as fuck

Kane v Ryder in a wheelchair is actually pretty funny...that should have been the actual match

That got a lot better after the match finished

Drew McIntyre gets a match? Why?. Literally nobody gives a fuck about him

OH SHIT ITS THE FUNKASAURUS

You'd think this'd get old.,,Nope.

Another quick win. I'm curious to see what'll happen when he gets a serious opponent

Punk time...Gonna grab some snacks and a beer, and enjoy the show.

Powebomb from Punk...don't think I've seen that before

FUCKING REF BUMP, NOT NOW WWE, DO THIS SHIT TO CENA OR ORTON OR WHOEVER THE FUCK BUT NOT DURING AN ACTUALLY DECENT MATCH

Very nice GTS reversal by Ziggler

Good match, the ref bump added nothing and it would have worked much better with no shenanigans...but still tied for match of the night with the cage match

RUMBLE TIME MOTHERFUCKER

So, Sheamus is going to win, but I'm hoping for Foley. Or THE MOTHERFUCKING FUNKASAURUS

Miz is number 1. This is good because he won't win, but bad because he's on my screen right now

Miz v Alex Riley...flashbacks to when the WWE was shit

FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY

Ricardo Rodriguez best entrance so far

Cobra v Socko is my favourite moment of the show so far

Foley's gone...it's all up to Brodus now. If he's even in it.

Holy shit, Kofi walking on his hands to avoid elimination...amazing

Dolph's in it...so Brodus might be...LETS GO FUNKASAURUS

Hacksaw Jim Duggan :D

FUCK YEAH KHARMA'S BACK WIN THIS THING KONG

Goddamit shes gone

Fuck, Booker said Sheamus is his number one pick, so he cant possibly win...gotta be a heel then...please don't be Miz

No Funkasaurus :(

Ok so down to Sheamus and Y2J...but Booker said Sheamus was gonna win, so it has to be Jericho, right?

Nope, I was right all along...Booker just threw me off

iMPACT, Jan 19th 2012

It's amazing that Robert Roode and Daniel Bryan have the exact same angle, but with Bryan I can't wait to see what'll happen next and with Roode I just want to sleep through it.

Sting < Laurenaitas < Teddy Long

TNA are going to England and I won't be there T_T

Kaz is the worst heel

Magnus comes to the ring

Magnus gets pinned

Crimson is the least convincing monster I think I've ever seen

At least Joe's kicking some arse

Eric Young makes me laugh

Fire Garrett

Oh god, they actually did a Garrett montage so now he's good at wrestling what the fuck TNA that's not how real life works

Knockouts cage match...haven't seen one of these in a while

Actually pretty decent

MCMG music, thought Sabin was back and got all excited but it's just Shelly

He's actually a lot better on the mic than I remember

Eric Young v Angelina...pretty dumb since all the fans know they can't show male on female violence on Spike

As dumb as I thought it'd be, but anthing with Eric is worth watching

Main event...there will definitely be a screwjob, so fastforwarding

Yup, screwjob...surprised it's Bubba not Roode

Back?

So I got a nice new flatscreen, meaning I can watch wrestling from my couch...meaning i can't watch and type at the same time.

Except now I have a smartphone so I can do Socko's Review again.

Expect biased, pro-Funkasaurus posts soon.

Things are looking up!

A few months ago I made the conscious decision to stop writing about wrestling until TNA got better. I was pretty down on the product and didn’t want to turn into one of those ‘smart marks’ who pick apart and highlight all the problems that a wrestling show has, thereby sapping the joy out of something which is meant to be entertaining. TNA has been great over the past month or so, so as my first dip back into writing after a few months hiatus here are my 10 reasons why TNA is great.
1) Austin Aries. I could just leave it there. I’ve been a fan of Aries for a few years now and I cannot for the life of me figure out why WWE rejected him for Tough Enough. Aries has great presence, he carries himself like a star, he’s great on the mic and he’s capable of pulling a five star match out of his ass (Aries vs Angle feud = awesomeness).
2) Beer Money are now main eventers. It is high time that some TNA originals were put in the top spot again. They are young and fresh, and it’s great to see the exposure and push they are getting.
3) Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is an amazing heel; I want to see him on TV more.
4) Abyss. Abyss hasn’t been on TV much of late, this is a good thing.
5) Karen Jarrett. Like Jeff, she is a great heel. I hope that the knockouts storylines move beyond ‘she thinks you are a whore/skank/bitch’, etc.
6) AJ vs Daniels. Daniels is one of the most under-rated guys in TNA. His matches with AJ have been great, even though the I quit match wasn’t.
7) Bully Ray. What a prick, what a horrible example of human... I love it! Bubba knows his character better than anyone on the roster. Obnoxious and cowardly, the perfect combination for a heel.
8) Ric Flair. It’s obvious that Garrett Bischoff is not ready for TV and is only being pushed because he’s Bischoff’s son. When Ric Flair laid into him backstage a few weeks back on Impact it was one of the best promos I’ve seen all year. It reminded me of when Flair laid into Carlito in about 2005. He might be a crazy old man, but he’s the best crazy old man in wrestling.
9) Filming on the road. TNA have been doing more tapings on the road. This is great. New crowds and new venues make it seem fresher and make the stars seem bigger.
10) Raw has been so God-awful of late that TNA is objectively a much stronger product. The roster is stronger and the storylines seem to be building nicely.

I feel quite optimistic about TNA at the moment. Let’s see how it pans out, or whether putting on a good wrestling show is actually a swerve...a

For blog's sake...

Where to begin? TNA is capable of so much, that goes for shit and genius. One minute it produces some of the greatest matches I've ever seen, some of the worst swerves too. I thought it was a true spectacle to see AJ Styles drop onto Bully Ray from on basically top of building only for Bully Ray (I cringe when I type that name) to somehow pull the match out of the bag by knocking AJ through a wall and standing up for about a second. The sad part though is that I was half expecting the wall to be Vince Russo all along.

Sting - What the fuck? TNA have now decided that Heath Ledger was so amazing as the Joker (I have to say that he was good despite being shite because the fucker's dead) that they've basically made him as the next incarnation. I've heard that he's going to be having a match against Jack Nicholson with the reanimated ashes of Cesar Romero as special guest referee.

WWE - R Truth. Genius - He's a good R Truth! They should do the same with John Fucking Cena. They've really started to piss me off lately with Super-Cena Man - A man who can be dominated for 99% of a match and will still always win. Poor CM Punk doesn't stand a chance - if he isn't victim to a monumental WWE screwjob in his hometown he'll be tapping to Cena after delivering between 4 and 8 GTS's. I'm getting really bored of the rivalry between Randy Orton and Christian, both are capable of some great matches but enough is enough. Christian has had enough goes, I think it's time for a new face to step up - I'm thinking it could be Wade Barrett's turn.

Sticking with Smackdown, for once I was glad to see Daniel Bryanson lose what was another great match with Cody Rhodes - this one has got some mileage left in it yet. It was also good to see little Daniel to finally get some mic time. He's no CM Punk on the mic but he's pretty good - much better than Randy Orton.

I've never been good at closing articles, so long.

Paul Heyman is on the money...