TNA have important PPVs, and not-so important PPVs. Final Resolution, for TNA, is not an important show. This is not to say that it wasn’t an awesome show... well for the first two hours anyway.
Ink Inc. versus Beer Money
This match was for the number one contendership for the tag-titles. Beer Money are one of my favourite tag teams, if you asked me about a year ago, I probably would have said that they’re no AMW. It’s safe to say that Beer Money have surpassed AMW in terms of both quality and consistency.
This was a great opener, Beer Money have obviously learnt a lot from Ric Flair in how to bring out the best in the other competitors and make them look good in the ring. This is easily the best match that Ink Inc have ever been in and they did some really cool spots. Beer Money got the DWI on Jesse for the pin. The booking was very simple, Beer Money got heat, Ink Inc made a comeback, Beer Money got a clean wi. There was no run-ins, no Bischoff, no bullshit, and it was a really solid opener.
Match rating: ***½
Tara versus Mickie James – falls count anywhere.
Before this match started something confused me. Instead of interviewing Tara or Mickie about the match that they were about to compete in, they decided to interview someone who wasn’t even in the match, Madison Rayne. This struck me as a bit dumb, but hey, it’s TNA and TNA doesn’t seem to meld well with logic at times.
The match was falls count anywhere, so the basically beat the crap out of each other around the building. For a women’s match, and for a falls count anywhere match, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I actually quite liked some of the bits in this match and thought that it didn’t go on for too long. There wasn’t much of a story to the match, and it really reminded me of the Kevin Sullivan/Chris Benoit feud from January/February 1997 where they would brawl around the building and end up with on of them getting pinned on the toilet floor. See if this structure sounds familiar: brawl in-ring, brawl ring-side, brawl in crowd, brawl backstage, brawl in toilets.
The match ended with Tara getting the pin on James on the men’s (yes, the men’s) toilet floor after Rayne burst out of a cubicle and sprayed James with a fire extinguisher. I’m so glad Rayne happened to pick the same toilet that Tare and Mickie were going to brawl into.
The match was a bit more entertaining than I’ve described, and seeing the people run scared out of the toilets was pretty funny.
Match rating: ***
Robbie E versus Jay Lethal – X Division title
Coming into this match, the stipulation seemed completely fucking dumb to me. It was a standard match, with Cookie being put in a shark cage and hoisted up over the ring. Don’t ask me why, it was fucking stupid. As the match started, Cookie refused to get into the cage and then as Lethal and Robbie started to wrestle, she headed towards the back, thus rendering the stipulation even more stupider (shut up, I know stupider’s not a real word)... but... who should come out but Sharkboy! I’m not kidding you, this guy’s not been on TV for about 2 years, and suddenly he turns up to put Cookie in the cage. As I’m writing this, my bullshit detector is going haywire, but I marked out when Sharkboy came out, so fuck you.
On the whole, this was a pretty decent match with a bullshit ending. Even though Cookie was suspended in the cage, she threw a chain down to the ring, which Hebner got rid of, she then threw out a can of spray for Robbie to use. Instead, Lethal used it and got DQed. Some of the crowd were chanting “you screwed Jay” – Jay cheated you fucking thicktards, the ref did the right thing. The cage didn’t work and Jay looked like a dick, way to put over your babefaces TNA.
The cage got lowered and Cookie slapped Sharkboy, Sharkboy then put Cookie in the Stunner. I hope this means Sharkboy will be on Impact... Shell yeah!
Match rating: ***
Rhino versus RVD – First blood
Again we had another interview with someone who wasn’t even in a match, this time Tommy Dreamer. He said something like “Ten years ago, Rhino broke RVD’s leg, and they became great friends”, okay... He also looked fucking stupid.
This match was one hell of a mixed bag; it in a constant flux between being awesome to being a train-wreck. There were some crazy spots, RVD did the Van Terminator, he also botch a number of spots and you could clearly see Rhino’s blade-job had started to bleed before RVD hit him for the blow that got the win. For future reference, this is how a good ending to match should look (they don’t need to have a guy getting a bin kicked into his face, but you get what I mean).
Again, it was a clean win, there was no run-ins, no bullshit, and even though there was some shakey moments and a couple of botches, it was a great match. In fact it’s probably the cleanest first blood match I think I’ve ever seen.
Match rating: ***½
AJ Styles versus Doug Williams – TV title
I’m starting to get confused now, this time to build up the match, a promo was given by Kaz... three times? Really? This is so dumb, it’s not even funny.
In the next few weeks I’ll be looking back over the year at some of my favourite matches. I’ve pretty much got a top ten, but this match has thrown a spanner into the works. I can’t believe how good this match was. There was no bullshit booking, the finish was clean and the match was just brilliant. Williams is one of the best and most underrated wrestlers in TNA, if not the world, and even with his achievements he doesn’t seem to get the cred with TNA he deserves. He’s held the X-Division title, the tag titles, IWGP tag titles, TV title – the only title he’s not held in the TNA Heavyweight title.
So yeah, this match was awesome, truly, truly spectacular. I hope that we have the next Impact taken up with an hour long Iron Man match between these two. Both guys just looked fantastic, Doug did his Rolling Chaos AT RINGSIDE, and beat AJ with the Styles clash (you read that right). It’s possible that this match will be looked at fondly by TNA fans in the future as one of their greatest matches before going out of business. This is what happens when you get two of the best pure wrestlers in the world going at it in a match without bullshit booking. My hat goes off for this one, this is a perfect match. AND DOUG GOT THE TITLE WITH A CLEAN, DECISIVE WIN.
Match rating: *****
Motor City Machine Guns versus Generation Me – Tag team championship TLC match
With WWE’s TLC only a week away, what better way than to show how great the competition’s PPV could be by having a TLC match. Not that I’m complaining because this was another great match. Structurally, I didn’t think that this match told much of story, but in terms of showing just how innovative Gen Me and the Guns are, this match was awesome. There was so many things in this match that I’ve not seen before, and so many sick spots that I haven’t seen in far too long (from a table atop of a ladder through table after a chair fight.) There was so much potential for these guys to get hurt in this match, but everyone could walk at the end, so it’s all good.
This match was great because it was such a contrast in styles between the last match which was a pure wrestling fan’s dream match and this which can only be described as a crazy spot-fest.
Match rating: ****
At this point, you could have turned off your TV and walked away knowing that you’d seen one of the best PPVs TNA have ever done and is by far the PPV of the year. Unbeknownst to me, I carried on watch. It felt it was like on an old Western where they would have a train hurtling towards a broken bridge... the last three matches were like those final seconds when the driver can see straight down into the abyss (geddit?).
Abyss versus Pope – casket match
It’s 2010 and we’re still having casket matches? Not only are we having casket matches, we are having casket matches that MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE. Since when has Abyss (or is it Pope? I’ve no fucking idea) been into coffins? Who gives a shit about this feud?
This match was stupid, and rubbish, and irresponsible. They did a spot where Abyss did a back-breaker on Pope onto the casket – the exact spot that broke Shawn Michaels’ back and had him out of WWF for four years. Pope then didn’t sell this at all and went on to do some drop kicks and life up a guy who weighs “in excess” of 350 lb. But the stupidity doesn’t end there! Abyss gets put in the casket and instead of shutting the lid from the ring apron, decides to get out of the ring, slowly stroll round the casket and close the lid. Abyss punches through the end of the casket and grabs Popes balls and pulls him into the box... later in the match Abyss got the win with another cock-based move, this time kicking Pope in the “yam bag region” and choke-slamming him into the coffin for the win.
This match was shit.
Match rating: ½
Jeff Jarrett versus Samoa Joe – submission match
One of the most entertaining things on recent Impact has been Jeff Jarrett’s MMA stint. I especially loved him making young children tap out of submission holds. This storyline is obviously a joke storyline and is more about Jarrett’s delusional personality than anything else. So why the hell Joe was humouring an MMA-style meet up with the ref prior to the match, made no fucking sense. During this segment, Gunner and Murphy came out and waved nightsticks over Joe’s leg, which if you believed the commentary had actually hurt Joe. I’ve got eyes, they’re not very good eyes, but damn it, those sticks went nowhere near to Joe.
They were clearly trying to work an MMA style match in this one, and to some extent it worked. Joe came down to the ring with his injured leg, the match started and Joe went into guard on his back and dared Jarrett to come near him. He did a few times and Joe got in some submission moves. They did some ground-and-pound style stuff and more submissions, then there was the finish... Jarrett tapped-out, but it was outside of the ring... Jarrett tapped-out, but his foot was under the rope... then Gunner and Murphy did a run in and Jarrett got the ankle lock for the win.
This was such a great feud when it started, and now it looks like a deflated balloon. Stupid booking, pointless ending and so much of the story made no fucking sense.
Match rating: *
Matt Morgan versus Jeff Hardy – TNA world championship, no DQ with Anderson as guest ref.
This match had bullshit written all over it from the outset and it didn’t disappoint (well it did disappoint; this match was TNA at its worst). This match was shit and Jeff seemed to be off his tits, botching almost every move he did. Morgan kicked out of a bunch of Twist of Fates, Morgan hurt his knee trying to kick Hardy. Jeff then tried to get counted out, in a no DQ match, Anderson counted to 9 then stopped and went after Hardy to drag that sucker back in the ring, probably because he’s an asshole or something. Morgan got the pin and Anderson did a fair count, Hardy got the pin and Anderson wouldn’t count. There was a ref bump, an Morgan got the pin, but oh no! The ref was out on the floor. How to solve this? Enter Bischoff with a new ref in tow. Bischoff then threw Anderson into the ring post. He then threw the new ref into the ring, but wait, Matt Morgan still has the cover! Bischoff pulled the new ref away (thank God!). Jeff hit another botched Twist of Fate and got the win. What a shit main event.
Match rating: 0
Seriously, you should watch this PPV, but pretend that the Guns/Gen Me match is the main event, you will not be disappointed.
PPV rating: ***
2 hour PPV rating: ****½
Looking back over the last year of TNA, I’ve come to the conclusion that the “They” storyline is one of the worst pieces of storytelling in history. There are more holes than the bible; the timeline makes less sense than if you watched an edited version of Lost where everything occurs in chronological order; and the characters are less consistent than the Tories’ deficit reduction policies (satire). 
