That Clown from Outta Town - iMPACT October 14th 2010 - Boycott TNA, watch PWG instead!

Well, that didn't last long...I don't think even Foley himself has come back quicker than I did.

On the other hand, I'm not 'back' back - Socko asked me to do a review of this week's iMPACT because it was so terrible. Which is nice - whenever I tell him about wrestling it's 'Hey Socko, did you check out the Anderson v Angle cage match yet?' or 'Hey Socko, check out this awesome ECW match I found on youtube'. But when he tells me to watch something, it's because it's the shittest iMPACT in living memory. Socko, you're a sadist.

Still, he did literally put me in a mandible claw to get me to agree to do this. Let's get this shite over with, I've got better things to do.

0:55 - Quick tip, TNA - if you're going to start the show with a highlight package, don't make it a highlight package of something shit. That's not a highlight. It's just a piece of shit.
4:00 - 4 minutes in, I'm already bored. I don't really know the details of the contract angle, but it seems pretty stupid.
5:06 - The crowd chanting 'Hogan sucks'...like they've ONLY JUST realised that he's bad for TNA? Every idiot in that arena deserves everything they're getting.
6:18 - "...there is, a motor to this madness..." has to be the worst Shakespeare misquote I've ever heard, and it makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
8:25 - I'm not actually listening to a word they're saying...it's literally going in one ear and out the other..
9:00 - Here comes Abyss
9:43 - The crowd is pissing me off. Don't stand there booing, just walk out...the louder you complain, the more they'll go on about how much 'heat' they have. Just leave the arena, switch off your TV, and they'll go back to putting on a good show. Then you can start watching again.
11:57 - As stupid and boring as this is, I still like Jarrett's music.
12:41 - "Genius!" - Yeah, Jarrett, working for 8 years to build up a company only to hire the guy who wrecked your last company and lose everything sounds a lot like genius.
14:17 - Is this...a Fortune face turn?? Ok, now they have my interest
16:21 - And they lost it again. Still, 2 minutes out of 16 is pretty good for TNA nowadays.
17:52 "Now for the moment you've all been waiting for..." Er...some wrestling?
18:13 - Jeff Hardy. I don't think Bischoff understands the phrase 'the moment you've all been waiting for'.
18:47 - Hardy's new music is the most mediocre entrance music I've heard in a while. Dull as shit.
19:40 - Why does Hardy remind me of Raven tonight?
20:46 - Hardy's criticizing RVD for being a politician? What the fuck, you're Bischoff's buddy and just screwed Angle and Anderson out of the belt, and you're criticizing people for politics? Are you mental?
28:02 - Still bored.
32:33 - "You little smug shit" First sensible thing Dixie's said since January 4th...kinda surprised they didn't beep it to be honest
34:12 - I like Madison's new music
34:26 - And her new look
35:05 - I still hate her whiney voice though - fast forwarding
39:11 - Well that was fucking stupid.
40:14 - I have no idea who this woman is
41:33 - Mickie James...another WWE reject. Just what TNA needs right now.
41:59 - There's some kind of celebrity with even faker boobs than the Beautiful People...I'm gonna go ahead and guess reality star? Maybe pop singer, but American pop stars are usually hotter than that.
43:44 - Eric Young deserves better.
45:13 - 'Please don't go' chants for Angle. Damn straight.
51:19 - Kurt getting owned by security guards. Ffs TNA.
54:54 - Oh, a wrestling match...I'd almost forgotten that this was a wrestling show. The funny thing is, I'm genuinely not being sarcastic.
55:43 - FUCK YEAH JOE
58:44 - Seriously, TNA, go fuck yourself.
58:59 - RVD is making the save? Double fuck yourself you fucking cunt, TNA
59:46 - Wow, those are some pretty big scars RVD has from when Abyss attacked him with Janice. OH WAIT THERE AREN'T ANY
61:43 - Hardy's calling himself the new antichrist of professional wrestling...the last antichrist of professional wrestling was Judas Messias, so Jeff's in good company.
62:40 - RVD v Anderson is the main event. Sigh.
64:41 - Right. Now I'm really pissed off. Bischoff's firing his secretary, and he goes 'If you want to be part of TNA, put on some boots and go wrestle with the knockouts...because that's all you're good for'. Are you fucking kidding me? Wrestlers ARE the show. Being a wrestler is the highest fucking accolade in TNA, not a punishment...to dismiss wrestlers out of hand like that is a fucking insult. I know I usually fast forward the Knockouts, but they have consistently had the highest rated segments on the show for years. Why the fuck are TNA publicly disrespecting their most popular stars?
66:48 - Wow, Pope v all of Fortune? This ought to be a great match...
72:12 - What the fuck were they? They look like an internet meme gone wrong...
73:42 - Seriously, what the fuck are these people? Is it a joke like Ali G or what?
75:29 - They say if infinite monkeys had infinite typewriters and infinite time, eventually one of them would write the complete works of Shakespeare. This episode of iMPACT - three monkeys, ten minutes.
76:55 - Catfights are only good when a) the women are hot, b) the women are wearing skimpy clothing. When it's two moderately attractive women wearing full street clothes...what's the fucking point?
80:52 - RVD v Anderson. 2:22 left of the show. This is gonna be shit.

And the match ended on Reaction. I won't bother watching it because I don't give a fuck - and I only said I'd watch iMPACT. And I'm not watching again until the first iMPACT after Hogan and Bischoff leave. I might watch a PPV or two if the lineup looks decent though.

This was a pretty shit show. TNA's been this bad for a while. They're rehashing an old angle that was relevant 20 years ago, and was a failure even then. Now, it's both obsolete and a failure. I really hope ratings drop off so that the bean counters get the message that Hogan and Bischoff are ruining the show...if they do OK ratings-wise, this shit will never end.

Starting next month, I should be able to free up enough cash to start importing indie DVDs from the US, so I'll probably start reviewing PWG and Chikara, maybe others. I love PWG, even though I haven't seen nearly enough of it. If you have any interest in wrestling you should definitely take a look at their Youtube. Having said that, there's a PWG fan who makes homebrew highlight videos for Youtube, which are actually better than PWG's professional ones - it's definitely worth taking a look (although he's been pretty quiet lately).