TNA Impact: 14th October

As TNA is meant to be a wrestling show, I’ve decided I’m going to ignore the promos during this one. This is no easy challenge as most of the episode was taken up with people standing there with mics in their hands... and it was all Hogan/Bischoff Bullshit... ugh.

Only 37 minutes (not counting adverts) into this, we have our first match: a Knockouts match between Tara and Madison Rayne for the Knockouts championship. I use the word match very loosely here as all that happened was that the bell rang, Tara lay on the mat and Madison pinned her, thus become the new Knockouts champ. The match literally lasted less than 10 seconds.

At almost 55 minutes in, the first real match starts: Samoa Joe versus Abyss. This could have been a very good match, and started off quite promisingly with Joe being all over Abyss with a barrage of chops, punches and kicks. Abyss got the Chokeslam and Joe was down on the mat, not moving. Abyss left the ring and got a chair to attack Joe with, but Joe got up and did a Suicide Dive into the chair and cracked Abyss in the face. Abyss then took the ring bell and corked Joe over the head with it busting him wide open, brother. At this point Abyss was disqualified... a DQ after 2 minutes? Oh dear. With Joe looking weak and bleeding all over himself, Abyss goes for the post-match beat-down... hark! Who should save the day but Rob Van Dam... Since when does Joe get so beaten by Abyss, and since when did Joe need a run-in by RVD to save him?

By the end of the first hour, we’ve had less than 3 minutes of in-ring action... less than 3 minutes.

At just under 67 minutes in, we have our next match: a handicap match between the Pope and Fourtune. Yes, all six of them. I think the word Retarded would be more fitting here than Handicap. Unsurprisingly, Fourtune won. This match was given a whole 3 minutes, thus doubling the amount of in-ring action we’ve seen in this episode.

At 79 ½ minutes, we have our main event of the evening: RVD versus Mr Anderson for the number one contender spot. The match was actually pretty good, with both competitors putting on a great match... until about 8 minutes in... guess who should come out? Yep, Eric Bischoff. Bischoff comes down the ring and takes the ref to the back, allowing Jeff Hardy to do a run in and his both RVD and Anderson with steel chair. He got the chair tangled in Anderson’s arm, and dropped RVD onto it... and the NWO won... That spot with the chair was probably the highlight of the show, but it was an a mere glimmer in what was possibly the worst Impact I have ever seen. My eyes hurt from the amount of times I found myself rolling them.

12 minutes of wrestling in a 2 hour wrestling show is a joke. When NWO first started in WCW, their goal was to destroy WCW... even though it was a storyline, that is exactly what happened. Now they’re basically back in TNA, it is only a matter of time before the same thing happens. I feel really sad about this, because between 2006-2009, TNA was by far the best wrestling show, now it is becoming horrible to endure. I find that I’m only watching it just in case they put on a decent Guns, Williams or Wolfe match.


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