Clown's TNA Nonsense Watch

There's a disturbing trend starting up in TNA. Things are happening that make no fucking sense whatsoever. I've decided to start up a Nonsense Watch to catalogue all of the insane bullshit that's going on. Here's a few to get the ball rolling.

Lethal Lockdown

So the angle going into this is that Bischoff has been talking to Flair for weeks before the match, causing suspicion that he's planning to turn on Hogan and side with Flair. During the match, Flair and Hogan both get involved, culminating in Hogan menacing Flair with a baseball bat. Bischoff runs in, talks Hogan into calming down and handing him the baseball bat. Bischoff pulls out some brass knuckles, pretends he's going to give them to Flair, but instead gives them to Hogan who batters Flair while Bischoff cheers him on.

This makes no fucking sense at all. If you're on Hogan's side, why bother breaking it up only to instigate it again 30 seconds later? He had the guy at his mercy with a baseball bat. Brass knuckles are an inferior weapon, apart from the fact they are more easily concealed. The match was no DQ, so concealment isn't an issue...so what was the point of the run-in? If the run-in was pointless, what was the point of the entire angle?

It's later revealed that the only reason Bischoff was talking to Flair was to lull him into a false sense of security so that Bischoff could screw him over at the PPV. But he didn't screw him over - all he did was postpone a beating from Hogan by a few seconds. If he hadn't been involved at all, the end result would have been identical. There's weeks of exposition to build heat for when Bischoff interrupts a main event match to do nothing whatsoever. They wasted TV time, FOR NOTHING, for weeks on end when there's a locker room full of talented wrestlers that hardly ever get on TV because they aren't big names.

WHAT THE FUCK

The Band

Eric Young screws Kevin Nash for the Legends title. Kevin Nash says he'd usually get revenge, but he's impressed with Young so he forgives him and joins Young's faction, and the two are stable mates.

Months later, Scott Hall and X-Pac come to TNA. They immediately resume their friendship with Kevin Nash, and start a faction called 'The Band' (Young's 'World Elite' faction disappeared into thin air with no explanation). However, Hall and Pac don't have contracts, so they're not officially in TNA. The three argue, and Hall and Pac attack Nash. Young comes out to rescue his friend from the beating. The feud between Nash/Young & Hall/Pac continues, resulting in a PPV match where if Hall/Pac win, they get contracts.

The match comes around. Hall/Pac beat down Young for several minutes. Young finally gets a tag to Nash. Nash comes in, does his finisher on Young, tags back out again and Hall/Pac pin Young to get the win.

The next show, Nash calls Young down to the ring. He apologises, and offers young a spot in The Band. He tells him the plan all along was to get contracts for Hall/Pac and then build a four man stable with Young. Young refuses, and attacks Nash. This sparks off a feud which culminates in a cage match at Lockdown. Nash defeats Young relatively easily.

3 weeks later, Young rushes to the ring to help Team 3D in a brawl against Nash/Hall. He turns on them, and reveals he has now joined The Band.

This doesn't make any sense. THREE WEEKS AGO, Young was feuding with Nash because he was so vehemently opposed to joining The Band...now he's a member? If Nash just said to Young, before the contracts match, "Hey buddy, this thing with Hall/Pac is just a ruse to get them contracts. So when we get in the ring, one of us just lays down, they get the 1-2-3, they get contracts, and BANG! We're the most bad ass stable in the company", Young would have gone along with it. To have Young get screwed, refuse to accept the apology, fight Nash because he's so angry about it, and then join for no apparent reason is just nonsense.

WHAT THE FUCK

X-Pac

X-Pac no-shows Lockdown. Taz announces it as 'Pac didn't show up...it's just Pac being Pac I guess'.

The following iMPACT, Taz says 'Just to clarify, X-Pac didn't no-show, he couldn't make it and Dixie Carter was aware of the situation'.

The iMPACT after that, Pac gets his skull smashed against the concrete by 3D and is put on the 'injured' list.

This makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Do they really expect us to believe that when a wrestler can't make a show, they call the owner of the company directly? Not any kind of manager, not any of the bookers, they just go straight to Dixie. They don't let their friends know, they don't let their stable mates or tag team partners know, they just call Dixie and that's all they have to do. And Dixie Carter wouldn't bother to mention to anyone - not the event staff, not the commentators, not Hogan, not anyone - that one of the stars of their FUCKING PPV isn't going to be there? She just assumes that it'll sort itself out and there's no need to pass the message on?

WHAT THE FUCK

Abyss

Abyss wears Hogan's ring on his wedding finger.

WHAT THE FUCK

Orlando Jordan

No words necessary - WHAT THE FUCK